Title: Homecoming

Pairing: Natsumikan, Hotaruka

Genre: Romance/General

Summary: A series of in-between.

Chapter 2: Firefly

oOo

Ruka probably knew it was ridiculous from the beginning. He was thirteen at the time, fresh out of heartbreak and just coming to term completely about the concept of love Natsume and Mikan have. He was probably delusional and seeking comfort that nobody else's has. And he knew he was just digging another grave for his poor young heart again.

But he knew what it was. He had felt it for the last two years for someone else so he knew immediately what he was feeling then.

For the past year after Mikan was gone from the academy, he had the earphones in his pocket to accompany him in his solitude. Natsume was a mess then, trying to escape the academy countless of times to find Mikan before settling into burning determination when the Middle School Principal made a deal with him. It was, of course, extended to him but his determination pale in comparison to his best friend. So for that past year, he was by himself most of the time with just the earphones for his company.

The voice was soft and quiet and he loves hearing her talk because it calmed him. When he was thirteen, he still knew her name—he repeated it in his head time and time again whenever she would say that he would forget her someday. The resigned voice was prominently quiet like the coming of dusk. Ruka developed a penchant for crying his eyes out when she would bid him goodbye with the telltale signs that it would probably the last time she would be able to connect her existence to the little pieces.

When he was fourteen, her connection became scarce like the whole world is pulling her out of the ground and letting her be wasted away. He grew afraid and miserable when he hadn't heard her voice for the past three months. It's like she was really gone—not dead, just erased out of existence. The others noticed the change in his demeanor and asked him many times about it. But he couldn't say. He was afraid to say. Because he couldn't remember her name. He couldn't figure out what it was but he had associated it with a firefly so he wouldn't forget but there is something blocking his mind, like a wall high enough to obscure his view of her name, like maddening moments when words are just at the tip of his tongue but he just can't seem to form them.

He was so upset over the idea that she was probably completely being erased because he had forgotten what she had told him many times.

"Hello, Nogi. I'm—"

What was it?

"Nogi, my name is —"

Damn it.

"I told you, Nogi. You'll forget me."

Damn it. Damn it. Damn it.

"Ruka." Ruka blinked, eyes focusing on the figure of Natsume. He is fifteen now and the last time he had heard her was seven months ago. Natsume had cornered him so many moons ago to make him confess his burden. He had toyed with the idea of keeping it a secret, his own mission—find that nameless voice he hears in his earphones. But Natsume is Natsume, after all.

"I'm sorry I spaced out, Natsume." He smiled a strained curve, ruffling the back of his hair in hot frustration. The aggravation of not knowing is suffocating him into sleepless nights and coffee-induced mornings. He was sure that he looks like he was just pulled out of hell.

"Are you thinking of her?" Natsume asked in his quiet voice. Ruka nodded, "I wanted to remember her. What does she look like? Why is it only me she's contacting? I wanted to remember but I can't."

Natsume's red eyes gleamed in a sad guilty way. Ruka would notice because he had seen that look years ago too. His best friend wore that look when Aoi was taken away and he couldn't do anything about it.

"Do you know something about her?" Ruka asked. Natsume grunted before standing up from his sitting position under the Sakura tree. "Come. I need to show you something."

He was led by Natsume to an abandoned building that most students avoided for fear that they would see ghosts. He had never bothered with it because he was too wrapped up with his misery. But now, Ruka felt drawn and ready to tear up. He could feel her presence here.

Ruka run forward to enter but was blocked by the immovable door.

"You can't get inside like that." Natsume sighed, "It has a face recognition security. I tried opening it but the traps kept on coming at me like it was trying to murder me."

"Is this…?"

"Yes. I remember that Mikan has a best friend and she was the one to save me from truly dying. It was because of her that I am still here as I had been told by Narumi. And it was because she saved me that she, along with her brother, paid the price for messing up the balance of time." There are traces of guilt and sadness in the voice of his best friend. He wanted to hate him when he heard his words—he wanted to punch him. It was probably written all over his face when he sees Natsume avert his gaze.

"This is always going to be like this, isn't it?" He cracked.

"Ruka…"

He faced away from his best friend, feeling his eyes build with tears. He stared hard at the door blocking his way for a minute, grasping for air to calm his nerves. He felt lost all of a sudden, defeated and crumpled.

Ruka Nogi, Animal Pheromone.

"What?" He blinked in surprise before he heard Natsume chuckled, "I knew it."

"What?"

"It does not recognize me. So I thought of bringing you here in the hopes that maybe it will recognize you instead." Natsume explained. Ruka took a tentative step forward before he took a sprint inside. The inside of the building was drench in the memories of her, vague but still there. It seems that she has the Alice of Invention with all the machines around. It was dark and abandoned but he felt closer to her somehow.

"Natsume." He said in the darkness, "I'm sorry. For a moment, I thought of hating you. But I couldn't. She would probably hit me if I do for something so petty."

"You should, you know. I took her place when it should have been her here." Ruka shook his head in disagreement, "It is your fate to be here instead and it is hers to disappear. You would find Mikan and would live happily. That is why you are still here. That is the result of you beating fate."

"You talk like I'm the only one who would do that." Natsume curved a slight smile, "You're my best friend, after all."

Ruka wanted to laugh at that. Natsume sure has changed. If he was still the boy he knew when he was eight, he sure as hell would never have said something like that—all about these love and fate, the boy he used to know would probably scoff at his current self now. He wanted to laugh at his words because he is sure that if he didn't, he would end up crying instead because—

"I don't have that kind of fate, Natsume." Ruka said quietly, "I'm not as lucky as you to beat fate. I can't even remember the name of the woman I fell in love with."

There is a surprise dawning that passes Natsume's face.

"You… love her?"

"I do." He admitted, "I fell in love with the sound of her voice—quiet and calm like the setting sun at dusk. And I fell in love with her even more when you told me about her sacrifice. It might sound absurd or forced but it isn't. There is something about her. It's like… it was supposed to be her for a long time instead of Mikan. I couldn't fathom when it happened. But it did. I love her. And it is so frustrating that I couldn't remember even her name. I couldn't even remember her face. It's just the sound of her voice that reminds me she existed once."

"Stupid." Natsume breathed, "This is so stupid. Why are you talking as if you had already given up? We will graduate from this academy earlier than the rest. I will find Mikan and bring her back to me. After that, we will find that woman and you can tell her all about your feelings personally and she will accept you because you're Ruka Nogi. And as my best friend, you are required to beat fate as well."

Right words—how they give people hope even in the driest situations.

"Yeah." Ruka nodded, smiling, "Yeah. You're right. Plus, if it is Mikan's best friend, I'm sure she would have been as gentle and sweet in person."

Fin…

Next: Koko is burdened by Natsume's thoughts.