ANNNDDDD FINALLY I UPDATED. WHOA? WHATTTT? Anyway, please enjoy. If it's not exactly how you imagined it... well, sorry.

CHAPTER TWO

Tony's not really sure what he's expecting to happen the next morning. He's gone in to work at the office for the first time in ages, and he's sorting through paperwork without Pepper asking (for once). Sure, there have been a few missed calls from Clint, about ten from Steve and more from Bruce. What was the most surprising of it all, was the twenty-two missed calls from Natashalie, and the eight messages of her telling him that he'd better call back before she shoved his foot up his arse.

Anyway.

The next thing he knows is Happy's being shoved through his office door with Natasha by his side. The look on her face is beyond furious, and she's got Coulson by her side. The agent in question (who Tony is still annoyed at for the pretense of his death) is looking smart as usual, the corner of a Captain America trading card poking out of his breast pocket.

"Get out, please." Tony snaps. "Happy, why are you my bodyguard again?"

Happy flushes right down to the collar of his white shirt. "Sorry, Boss." He mutters. "But I thought, since you're Iron Man and all…"

"Yeah." Tony shakes his head looking distracted. "Uh… where was I…?"

Coulson clears his throat loudly. He pulls the trading card out of his pocket and in two long strides, he has placed it flat on Tony's desk. "A peace offering." He says, holding his hands up.

Tony visibly gapes. "I don't like Captain America." He snorts, with an exaggerated roll of his eyes.

"But I do. If you don't believe what I have to say, you can rip that card up into a thousand little pieces." Even Natasha looks shocked at Coulson's nerve. Who'd have thought that the man would give up his cards? They'd already been bloodied from Fury's interference, and now he was willing to have one of them ripped to shreds?

Tony leans back in his chair. Interest sparks in his dark eyes and he wrings his hands together as he eyes the two agents up and down. "Happy…" he begins slowly. "It's okay, I can handle this."

Happy leaves without a second thought, and Natasha is slightly relieved. She knows that the man wouldn't have hesitated to defend Stark without a second thought; and she's only pleased to have him removed from the scene. Coulson swallows slightly nervously, something that only Natasha picks up with all of her training and observational expertise.

"I'd ask you to sit down… but I can't be bothered, really." Tony snaps snidely. "Hurry up with it."

"Okay." Coulson rolls his eyes. "So, I had no idea about any of it."

Natasha snickers, then. "No." She agrees. "When you left, he almost punched Fury in the face. I, however, was perfectly aware. I'm sorry that I didn't do anything, but I knew. I'm here now to ask if you'd like help in getting rid of them all. Nobody knows SHIELD like Coulson and I, and we want to help you regain your dignity or whatever the hell it is you're trying to achieve." She raises her eyebrows in question, daring the genius to disagree.

Tony leans backward. "Fine." He snaps, surprising both of the agents at his quick compliance. "But we're doing this my way. If you step one toe out of line, I will assume you're with SHIELD and punch you into Asgard."

"Duly noted." Said Coulson, amused. "I believe we have a deal."

Tony picks up the trading card, and hands it back to Coulson.

When Tony gets up to the penthouse that evening, he's shocked by the sight of the team sitting at his dining table finishing off dinner. He's not sure what exactly made them think that they were all welcome back in, but obviously they didn't get the message. It is for this particular reason that he makes sure to let them all know immediately.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

Steve looks up at him in confusion. "Um… Well, we were just."

Tony points to the elevator. "Get the fuck out." He practically spits, fury evident in his tone.

Thor frowns. "I do not understand." He says lowly. "I believed we were friends. Do friends not forgive one another for grievous wrongdoings?"

Tony raises an eyebrow challengingly, in a way that suggests he is mocking his team. "Not for this, big guy." He says stiffly, clapping Thor firmly on the shoulder. "Not for this."

The Avengers are packed and gone in the next hour; except for Natasha. She doesn't talk to Tony, because he isn't willing to talk to her unless she has something to say that he ought to know.

She doesn't argue. Nor does Coulson, who rocks up the moment that the Avengers leave.

The Avengers are called upon to defend against Doom Bots one morning.

Tony doesn't show up; because he doesn't care. JARVIS defends his tower with a spare suit, anyway, but he makes no move to assist the team.

Natasha leaves on the call to assemble, but comes back saying that nobody really had their best game on today.

"That's interesting," says Tony, not really caring. The cocky side of his mind is crowing. So they might've cared a little, deep down inside. So without me, maybe the team is nothing.

Ha.

Serves them bloody right.

"I think Hulk would like you back."

"Cool," says Tony. "Tell him that I want to go out with him some time."

Tony is actually dead serious.

Rarely does the billionaire say something and not intend to actually follow through with it. So, the next morning, he and Pepper dress in something fancy and go downtown to meet Natasha after another second wave of Doom Bots. Hulk is out to play, and Tony thinks that he might rather like to spend time with the rage monster.

Pepper is more than willing to join him.

"Hello, Hulk." Says Pepper bravely, holding out a hand, which Hulk taps with a gigantic finger. "How are you?"

"Hulk smashed things."

"Ah." Tony nods gravely. "And Thor?"

"Hulk smashed him too." Hulk announces. "He still walking."

"That's good." Pepper admits, ignoring the incredulous looks from both Hulk and Tony. "I'd hate for Odin to blast you because you got his son killed."

"Puny god." Hulk snorts.

Natasha watches the conversation with a calculating stare, before slinking off into the background before anyone notices her.

"And?" Fury demands. "What is Stark doing?"

"That's classified." Coulson announces. "This is intel from a classified mission between Agent Romanoff and myself."

"And, as Director of SHIELD, I need to know." Fury growls. "I need to know every important detail. I think knowing whether or not Stark plans on using the Hulk against us is important Intel."

"Not for you." Natasha closes the door behind her carefully as she strides with purpose into Fury's private debrief room. Her boots make no noise on the cool metal floor and she slings her leather jacket over one of the armchairs beside Coulson and immediately collapses into it. "That's a classified mission, with Intel that doesn't really concern anyone but Mister Stark."

"Oh, so he's Mister Stark, now?"

"I'm not on friendly enough terms right now to call him by his first name. Surely you knew that?"

Fury scowls. "I'm just lucky that he's letting two of my agents in."

Coulson shrugs. "Or not. Since we won't be telling you anything. He wants us to help get rid of his weapons. Natasha is doing so."

"And? Are you going to get rid of JARVIS as well?"

Natasha pauses for a long moment. "No."

Tony takes a lot of pride in the way he crafts each and every suit. Some people think that the design is just random; the colour of the day sort of the thing sort of thing. But it's not really. His next suit is painted a much angrier and more vibrant red than usual, which Pepper puts down to bitterness and fury against the Avengers and SHIELD.

Personally, she approves of the new design; all red except for the occasional flash of silver and gold faceplate. She says it makes him look more badass, but Tony just says he thinks JARVIS is more into this design than the rest; so it'll be sticking around for a while.

Hammer is getting released from prison in two days' time, so Tony tries to pretend like all his anger is directed at that ridiculously short sentence. Although Pepper knows that it's not; she can't help but wonder what he's going to do to Hammer when he gets out. Tony says that he'll definitely pay the guy a visit; maybe blackmail him into doing a thing or two for Tony under his name so that if the fallback comes 'round; nobody could suspect the man behind the iron mask. Pepper, amazingly, is all for it.

"But, I do think you should look at it a little more tactically." Pepper says slowly. "I can tell him that I'll bring forth charges against him that he got away with last time, but he's not going to listen unless-"

"Yeah." Tony mutters. "JARVIS? You on it?"

"For you, Sir?" JARVIS says back cheekily. "Always. I do think that you should take a little more consideration in what Miss Potts suggests, however, Sir."

"Mmhm, J." Says Tony flippantly. "Course. You know me."

"Unfortunately, I do, Sir."

"So if I hack into SHIELD with HammerTech, nobody will ever know a thing."

"Aside from the fact that HammerTech is shit." Pepper says. "In which case, Fury will suspect you even if he can't prove it, anyway."

"Then he'll know I have it in for him and he'll know that he can't do anything about it." Tony says gleefully. "Even better. My God, I am a genius."

Coulson crouches low beside an immobile tank and scans the area with a calculating gaze. "There." He points at a large shipment of crates stamped with the SI logo. "So we have to blow that up?"

"Yeah." Mutters Natasha. "Tony told me that the weapons shouldn't blow as long as we hit them with enough heat and force. Although, he probably hates me and wants me to die, so I wouldn't put much stock into what he's saying."

"No, he knows I'm innocent." Coulson says firmly. "And if he wanted you dead, he'd do it in a much, much fairer way."

"Thank God," Natasha says sarcastically.

Coulson hefts a large gun-like weapon into his arms. His jaw is set and he places his fingers firmly around the trigger. Natasha stares at him with raised eyebrows. She's not sure exactly what to say, but then Coulson's fingers tighten around the trigger and a large shockwave of energy blasts towards the shipment.

The aftermath sends Nat and Coulson ten feet backwards.

JARVIS is the one who tells him of the completion of Nat and Coulson's mission. There's a slight crackling in the sound, then his clear British voice filters through. "It has been done, Sir. How should they proceed?"

Tony contemplates it for a moment. He rubs his eyes tiredly and looks up from the holographic computer screens surrounding him. He's been pinpointing possible and known locations of his tech for the past twelve hours and his brain feels like it's about to explode and his eyes are drooping but he has to stay awake. He's been awake for the past few days, but he knows he could probably stay awake longer than this if he had to.

"Just tell them to get the fuck out of there, J." Advises Tony quickly with a barely stifled yawn.

"Of course, Sir."