AN: This part dragged on longer than I expected. I was typing, and typing, and next thing you know, I went farther than planned. Or expected. I suppose the finale had something to do with it. Hoo boy. So here we go and here's to hoping I do these ladies enough justice.
I'll be cutting this chapter down a bit prematurely, but hopefully posting the next one up soon will make up for it.
Little do you know how I'm breaking while you fall asleep
She's struggling to remember the last time she had a full night's rest. Not just the recharging kind of sleep. The kind where she wakes up the next morning with a sense of calm, peace—an overall sense of wellness that penetrates through her being, settles somewhere deep inside her. The kind that tempts her to stay in bed just a little longer…to linger…to savor all the positive energy that seems to surround her the moment she enters consciousness.
The kind where she looks forward to a new day.
It takes her awhile, but when she finally narrows down on the specific set of memories, Maura latches on with certainty as to the last time she slept and woke up to those feelings.
It was during their second to the last day in Paris.
It was a Friday night and Jane, in her usual reluctance, wanted to dabble in their standard Friday night fare of movies and pizza.
"We're in Paris, Jane!" Jane wanted to laugh at how affronted the blonde looked.
"And wouldn't that be something, Maura? It'd be just like how we'd do things in Boston, but on a different part of the globe. I dunno about you but I think it's exceptionally cool." Jane shrugs.
"Jane!"
"Maura!"
"Jaaaaaaaaane."
"If you're going to resort to whining, I would like to point out that I taught you that."
"Is it working?" Maura's face lit up momentarily.
"Hardly." Jane scoffed.
Maura's smile dropped.
"But…the pitiful look on your face does something for me. Ok. Fine. What'd you have in mind this time?"
"There's this studio that mother used to bring me to when we used to visit. I think it's still there. I want to take you there." Maura was already clapping her hands excitedly.
"Oh, boy. A Constance Isles-approved venue?" Jane mocked.
"Don't be so quick to judge, Jane. I learned about orgies from her."
To say that Jane spewed her drink and choked on what managed to travel through her windpipe would have been putting it mildly.
Suffice to say a confused man across from their hotel balcony was subjected to the sight of a blonde woman seemingly trying to help a brunette who was bent over, with the latter wildly waving her arms and batting the other away.
After the "brief panic of 2016" as Jane labelled their afternoon, referring mostly to how Maura fretted over her, the women resumed their discussion inside as Maura clarified that the orgy she was referring to was as modelled by a group of art students under her mother's tutelage.
Jane rolled her eyes, "Still awkward, Maur."
"Well, regardless, I want to show the studio to you."
Jane paused, biting her lower lip, "Is this the same orgy studio?"
Maura offhandedly replied, "Of course not. That happened in our old flat."
Jane eyes widened until Maura laughed.
The detective frowned, "S'not funny, Maura!"
"Yes. Yes it is. Years together and you're still as squeamish about sex as the day I first met you." Maura picked up her phone and purse.
Jane followed automatically, reaching for her coat and putting it on. At the door, "Years together and you still insist on turning just about everything to sex" she grumbled.
"I wouldn't if you weren't so squeamish." Maura shot back, making her way towards the taller woman. Although with Jane in sneakers and Maura in her standard heeled footwear, their height difference was nearly indistinguishable.
"I knew it! I knew you've been picking on me this whole time!" Jane pointed a finger at Maura in mock frustration, but then dropped it in favor of unconsciously reaching inside the closet for her best friend's own coat and helping her put it on.
With her own unconscious smile at this gesture, Maura turned to fix the bent collar on Jane's, briefly letting her hand slide down and linger on her chest.
Both wore huge smiles and both oblivious.
They finally turned to leave, and as Jane held the door for the doctor, "So we're basically going out to look at more art stuff tonight?"
"Well, if the studio doesn't hold your fancy, there is the lesbian bar right next to it."
"Maura!" Jane's words are lost as the door to their room closes.
Maura smiles fondly at the memory of that night.
The truth is, Jane may whine and complain about things and activities that Maura often suggests and sometimes forces Jane to participate in, but in the end, Jane almost always succumbs to her whims and requests.
"Jane?"
"Yeah?" They are seated in a small table partly situated outside a club. Maura recognized the owner as an old friend of her mother's and was invited to stay awhile. Jane, although she would never admit it, had been wary of leaving Maura alone in bars (anyplace crowded and full of strangers, really)—especially with alcohol involved—ever since that incident that almost got her best friend thrown in jail for a crime she didn't commit.
"Are you having fun?"
Something must have clued in Jane with her tone as her best friend's strong gaze snapped directly onto hers with a small furrow lining her forehead. "What? Of course I am! Why do you even have to ask?"
Maura shrugs, a tad self-conscious manner that alerts Jane further.
"I've been dictating our itinerary since we arrived."
"Because this is originally YOUR trip, Maur. I basically plonked myself along with your schedule."
"No, Jane." Maura shakes her head resolutely.
"The moment you showed me your ticket, this became ours. And I know how much you dislike some of the sights we've seen and some of the places we—"
"Maura," Jane cut her off, placing a comforting hand atop hers that were fiddling with a paper napkin.
"Do you know what's one of the best things we share in common?"
Not waiting for the other to reply, Jane continued. "It's the fact that when it comes down to it, if we really don't want to do something, if we really feel strongly against something, we cannot be forced to do so. So, I want you to remember this because I'm not likely to admit this ever again…"
Maura nodded. Jane smiled. "No matter how much I whine, groan, or complain, whenever I'm with you, Maura, I'm with you a hundred percent. Okay?"
A grin overtakes the forlorn look on her best friend's face and Jane's smile could only widen in response.
They went back to their room, tired but still somewhat brimming with energy. Somehow, they ended up watching Mamma Mia.
And ended up singing along to the music.
Loudly.
For the first time ever, Maura experienced what it was like to receive a call from hotel management telling them to "tone it down."
Although mortified beyond belief, Maura swore it was the best night ever.
The next morning was a tough contender.
It's not the first time she woke up with a hangover.
Unfortunately, it's also not the first time she woke up with a hangover, and with another's arm around her.
Fortunately, said arm didn't belong to a stranger.
Nor did it belong to any male from her dating history.
Maura could almost completely ignore the slight pounding in her head and her eyes' sensitivity to the sunlight that managed to sneak past the cracks of the drapes that have been haphazardly drawn shut the night before. Drapes that had a splash of some liquid on its edge. Maura notes with a slightly hazy memory that it must've been the vodka they shared the night before. The one that had them dancing in—
Maura's eyes widened briefly, scrambling as gently and as quietly as she can, lest she disturb her bedmate, to check.
—in their underwear.
Hence, the reason for the hastily drawn drapes.
Maura felt Jane stir and she froze. Wondering how her friend was going to react.
To her eternal surprise, Jane's arm tightened further around her, drew her even closer as Jane shifted until Maura could've sworn that lying on their side, her back molded perfectly against her best friend's front.
Warm, safe, and dare she say it, loved.
All these words were the best she could come up with in that moment. That single moment where it seemed as if everything good in her life have come to gather in this room, in this time, in this place beside her best friend. Her person. Her constant. All the warmth that suffused her being was more than enough for Maura to briefly forget her pain. Long enough until she fell back to sleep, content.
Until the next night…their last night.
When she realized that this could very well be their last night spent together until who knew when?
And the next morning…their last day together.
When it dawned on her that she may have gotten away without having to do "airport goodbyes," but all they've done was change the setting and prolong the inevitable
From then on, it was a flurry of preparation on Jane's part as she prepared to move on and out.
The next fully conscious memory Maura can recall consists of how she spent her first night in her house, fully aware that Jane wasn't going to be stomping through her door anytime soon.
And that the next morning wasn't bound to be different.
AN2: Another shout out to the lovely folks who took the time to leave reviews. Seriously. It may not seem much, but speaking from experience, I know that it takes a certain amount of effort to do so. Special mention goes to the guests, the anonymous folks who bothered to jot down a few words. Kind words at that too. And to the lurkers: thanks. I've spent my fair share of time in the shadows and totally understand. Nonetheless, thank you for reading. The views don't say as much but the numbers are what they are.