.:Bittersweet Symphony:.
Chapter 1
I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down.
It's a simple thing; dying.
Your heart stops, you cease to be. Simple.
Immortality is painful, difficult, suffocating...
Your heart has stopped, but still, you suffocate.
Painful.
I remember the room as it had been, as though it had been merely a day ago that I had seen it last.
A four poster bed, the palest sheets lined with lavender lace. So much white, crisp and clean, just as I had wanted it. The walls, the rugs, the curtains, all white with only the faintest caress of lavender here and there. Yes, I remember it well. The way the room almost seemed to glow, even in the dim shadow of candle light. White; so pure.
So... marred with sin.
I sat perched at the edge of my bed, the taste of alcohol on my lips, stolen body heat at my side. Even now, the incident was hazy to me. Whether it was my grief and guilt, or the alcohol working its magic, I've yet to find the answer. But I awoke to the slender, smaller body beside me, and my stomach churned. What had I done? How? When? How had this poor child allowed me to do such a thing? How... could I have allowed myself?
So God fearing was I, that I had brought all the angels down from heaven to beg for their forgiveness, but it did not seem to matter, for my heart ached, weighed heavily in my chest and I could not move from the spot. They would listen not to my pleas. I would hear not a single whisper of forgiveness, for I had defiled an innocent child -a servant- a poor innocent child, and the angels would look upon me no more; if they did, it would be with revulsion.
Silent tears had been washing down my face, and I had been blind to them until I could taste them on my lips. Misery, how you love me so! I knew of nothing that could be done to rectify this. Not a damned thing.
He stirs, and I let out a sob.
Judgment has surely come!
It has come in the form of large, innocent green eyes. Wide with concern. Concern! My heart breaks... it breaks, and I stumbled away from the ever questioning gaze, fearing that it would soon lay as nothing more than a pile on the ground and I should feel no more. How the fear of that simple, impossible thing, gripped me so. How naive I had been. It was better to feel nothing than to carry the weight of my sins. I was being crushed beneath it and I was desperate for an escape that would never come. "Bitte..." I begged the child. Please. "Bitte!"
And he climbed from my bed, dropping in front of me and whispering in quick, hushed German. 'Sir, do not cry. I hold no grudge against you. This is what I live for; to serve you, my master. Do not cry.' As he wiped away my tears with his pale hands. Pale... white, pure. I had tainted them and I feared their touch. "Bitte..." I repeated, trembling.
His words, haunted me most of all.
- Roderich Edelstein, 1506.
A/N: Short? Yes, it's supposed to be this way. Apologies for the lack of updates. Getting back to writing~ In any case, dark chapter, I realize, but vampires aren't suppose to be kitties and rainbows.
~ Matt.