Everything wrong with
Left in the Dark
In 2k words or less
Spoilers!
(duh I bet you already watched all)
Hunter Spector: Do you believe in ghosts? Join me, Hunter Spector, spectre hunter, leader of the Academy of Really Good Ghost Hunters, or ARGGH!
Cheap acronym looking like the spector hunter just came up with this idea while wearing white ghost costume in halloween. - 1
Lincoln: (marks calendar) it's finally here! the live season of the greatest show!
If it was the case, why didn't he mark it earlier? And why is he marking it now, despite the show's now literally a minute left from starting? - 2
Lincoln: All right, I know you're probably saying to yourself 'Lincoln, with ten sisters, there's no way you're going to get to watch your favorite show.'
Common protagonist breaking fourth wall cliche. - 3
Lincoln: But tonight, I have a plan. (Breaks out his walkie talkie) Cadet Lincoln calling Cadet Clyde, do you read me?
Clyde: I read you loud and clear!
How the *ck does it not make noise? With some toys from houses away? - 4
Lincoln: It's time to put Operation Distract My Sisters So That I Can Get to the TV First and Watch the Special Live Season Finale of ARGGH and Think of Shorter Name For This Operation into action.
Ha-haha-ha. - 5
Lola and Lana: Cartoons! Cartoons! Cartoons! Cartoons!
Discount fireboy and watergirl. - 6
Lincoln: Did someone say tea party? (reveals a tea pot and a box of cookies)
Where did he get that? - 7
Lincoln: Not even if these guys are invited? (holds out two frogs)
Wait, he was holding tea with both of his hands, where were the frogs come from then? Didn't they run out? - 8
Lincoln: You might want to grab your video camera instead. The twins are at it again.
(Lola and Lana fighting)
They were together like a second. How the hell did he guess they would be fighting? - 9
Lola: You can't come! V.I.P. only!
Lana could just give up and watch cartoons with frogs. - 10
Luan: This is totally gonna go viral!
Luan I doubt you will ever get character development. - 11
Lincoln: Hey, Lisa. I saved you a trip downstairs and got that stuff you needed.
Lisa: The lactose, triticum protein, sodium chloride crystals, sucrose, and gallus gallus ovum?
Female Dexter. - 12
And also, poor script writers who had to look up for all these words. - 13
Lynn: Teah! two minutes before the game time! Whoo!
Lincoln: Hey Lynn! Check it out! (holds a ball that floats) I filled it with helium for the extreme player who demands more.
Obviously just helium is not enough to lift that heavy ball. - 14
And what is she going to do with it? There's no one in this house to play together. Throwing it with herself? It floats, dumb Lynn! - 15
Lincoln: Oh my gosh, Leni!
Leni: What, is there a spider on me? (nervously rubs her head) Get it off! Get it off! Get it off!
Leni didn't even say she will watch TV. And Lincoln you know Leni, she is kind. So what's the deal, white haired monster. - 16
Luna: Hey, bro! TV tonight is gonna be rockin'! Yeah!
Lincoln: Or, you can have your very own flashlight rock show in your bedroom. (holds out colorful flashlight)
Luna: thanks, Linc!
And guitar sound was never heard again. - 17
Lori: Has anyone seen my phone? I need to live tweet my show!
I think there's no difference if you watch it with tv or live tweet... It just gets more laggy. - 18
Lincoln: "Hey Lori, here's your phone."
Where did he get that? Did Lori not notice, even though she keeps it like treasure? - 19
Lincoln: (sees Lily sleeping, lays her and kisses her) And that makes 10.
Poor 11 year old Lincoln can't count - 20
Lucy: "You forgot me." (Lincoln fells down)
And here's Lucy's old hair that only lasted for one episode. - 21
And he didn't even check sofa before sitting on it? You learned nothing from Luan's whoopee cushion. - 22
Lincoln: Lucy! I always forget about Lucy!
Who turns out to care Lucy the most. - 23
Lincoln: This is the episode of ARGGH that everyone is going to be talking about at school tomorrow! Please let me watch it?
Everyone in the school is interested about some cheap conjuring discount show? - 24
Lucy: I'm sorry, Lincoln, but you know the rule. I was here(in slow motion)first.
Why they would fight if there was rule? - 25
Also slow motion. Good 1990s cartoon style. - 26
Lincoln: (looks at the remote and licks it) Ha!
Lucy: That's the old remote that Lily threw into the toilet.
Then why did you put that here? - 27
Cuts to Lucy's room, and Lincoln is carrying the old tv hard)
Where is Lynn? I said it was not a good idea to play with flying ball. - 28
Lincoln: How can only two colors be so heavy? (puts it on the bed)
But... you could just put it on floor. You think the bed will be okay? - 29
Lincoln: Here you are. Now to plug it in. So, you can be happy or sad or whatever that emotion is. And I won't be left in the dark.
Roll Credits. - 30
(All lights turn off)
Does he really have no idea that the plug is definitely different shaped? -31
Lori: All right, all right! Everyone calm down!
When did everyone come out? Also the parents are doing nothing, and Lily isn't crying despite everyone is in total chaos. - 32
Leni: Guys! I can't see anything! I think I've gone blind!
Lori: No, you didn't go blind. What the heck happened?
'Heck' is the only allowed swear other than dang it, in this show which 5 years old child watches. - 32
Lincoln: I was just plugging in the old TV for Lucy and it must've made the lights go out.
Lori: Of course it was your fault, Lincoln.
And here comes the topic that is always used throughout the whole season 1. - 33
Luan: Hey! I know why the lights went out! Cause they liked each other!(laughs) Get it? Get it?"
Poor translators. - 34
Lisa: that one was so good, it deserved a cookie.
Luan: Oh, thanks. (eats it) So anyway, what did one bulb say to the other?
Lincoln: You're glowing.
How the *ck does that thing work? - 35
Also Luan has been getting Lisa's experiment for like 4 years, and haven't developed awareness. - 36
Luan: Oh, I already told you that one?
Luna: No dude, you're glowing!
Luan: Hey, wow! (notices she actually is)
Which also makes her clothes glow. - 37
Lori: Everyone step away from Luan. Lisa, Mom and Dad said you're not allowed to use your siblings as experimental guinea pigs anymore!
Leni: Yeah, not after what you did to me!
(flashback, Leni's head is bloated like pufferfish)
Yet she somehow returns. - 38
Lisa: Classic. All I did was infuse the bioluminescent DNA of the Aequorea victoria jellyfish into a cookie. I call them Gloweos. Besides, now we can see.
That's like 'if we eat pesticide immune plant, we get immune to pesticide'. - 38
Also how did DNA not burnt when baking cookies? - 39
Lori: Okay. Everyone huddle around Luan.
Luan: I always knew I was the light of your life.
That's actually good joke. I'm removing a sin. - 38
Lori: Again, in charge, I'll do it. Where is the circuit breaker thingy?
Lincoln: In the basement.
'Must go from scary place to scarier place' cliche. - 39
(the kids arrive in the basement)
Lori: Why am I the only one who has to do this?
Everyone: Because you're in charge!
Being in charge means you have to do it yourself... Just take your bossy attitude, and make others do it. -40
Lori: Lisa, give her another one of those cookies. I won't tell.
Lisa: Negative. That was the only one. Prototype.
Luna, don't you remember you had flashlight Lincoln gave you? - 41
And also you baked only one cookie at a time? - 42
Twins: There's a ghost in the basement! (cries)
Lincoln: Guys! I'm running out of time! It's really important that I...I...I... (sighs) fix this. OKAY, QUIET! (everyone stops)
The older siblings do nothing here. Which could be triggering if you just watched season 3. -43
Lincoln: Cadet Clyde, this is Cadet Lincoln. Forget the plan. I'm going to need backup.
When did he get that? - 44
Clyde: Cadet Clyde, reporting for duty. (notices Lori) L...L...Lori? RED ALERT. RED ALERT. DOES NOT COMPUTE. CIRCUIT OVERLOAD. MUST ABORT MISSION.
Actually good scene. I'm removing a sin. - 43
But wait, how did he get here so quickly? - 44
Lincoln: (to the viewers) I told you guys it gets awkward. (prepares to enter the basement) I will now descend into the scariest place in the house: the basement. But fear not, with my official ARRGH! branded night vision goggles, I can see in the dark. (goes down but fells)
Lori: Lincoln, are you okay?
Lincoln: The bad news is, my goggles are just a toy, and do not really see in the dark!
If you knew, why did you even wore it? - 45
Lincoln: The good news is they cushioned my face from the hard basement floor!
I think goggle is still pretty solid and hard. - 46
Luan: Hey! I think my video camera has a night vision setting!
Then why didn't you pull it out earlier? - 47
(the scene cuts tto the basement, all sisters are behind Lincoln)
Lincoln: You may want to stay close. There's no telling what could be lurking down here in the dark.
Luan: There's nothing funny about this situation. Although, I do likedarkhumor."
And she didn't tell not a single dark humor since then. - 48
You should learn from Lynn's balls. - 49
Lynn: What is this smell?
Lincoln: It's just Lily with full diaper.
When did Lily wake up? If she did, Wouldn't she be surprised at she just opened her eyes but everything's still dark as her future? - 50
Also, Luna says nothing. - 51
And no one complains, or changes her diaper ever after this. - 52
(another omnious sound occurs, surprising everyone)
?: Lincoln... LINCOLN...
Lincoln: It's a ghost and it knows my name!
(everyone screams out)
Lincoln: I'LL SAVE YOU, SISTERS! (charges at the ghost)
You know, Lincoln... ghosts don't have physical appearance. You were watching ghost hunting program like a year, and you don't know it? - 53
(Lori finds circuit breaker and turns it on, and the lights turn back again)
Lori: Cool it, Lincoln. It's not a ghost. It's just our laundry.
It would have been exciting if it was hard floor and Lincoln charged to it with his head. - 54
(Lincoln looks around, and notices the sound was from his microphone)
When did it dropped there? The laundry was pretty far away from stairs, so it doesn't make sense even if he missed it when he fell down. - 55
Leni: Guys! I still can't see!
Why were you even closing your eyes? - 56
(Lincoln runs up the stairs and gets to TV. He gets remote first and turns it on)
Hunter Spector: WOW! That was by far the best episode of ARRGH! ever! I'd hate to be you if you missed it!
How that exact channel appeared at first when he turned on the TV? Lucy was watching vampires. - 57
And also this program is shorter than an hour? I think this accident took less than half an hour. - 58
Lincoln: (shocked) NOOOOO!
NOOOO. - 59
Lincoln: I can't believe I missed my show... (Lincoln starts to have tears)
You see fans? He actually cried in the first episode! But not that emotional type like you wanted. - 60
Lori: (hands popcorn) sorry you missed your show, Lincoln.
When did she bring out popcorn? - 61
Luan: But you just lived it. Check it out. (plugs her camera to TV, which shows what Lincoln just filmed)
(everyone watches what they just recorded, and Lincoln realizes that he actually lived it)
Lincoln: You know, I may have missed my show. But sometimes, it's not about being there first. Sometimes, It's about being there together. All of us.
Common family show ending. - 62
Total sins: 62
BONUS ROUND
Lucy's jumpscared people count
Lucy: You forgot me.
Lincoln: GAH! (fells down) - 1
Lucy: You forgot me.
Lincoln: AAH! (almost fells down) - 2
Lynn: I am afraid of nothing.
Lucy: Boo.
Lynn: AAH! - 3
Lincoln: Sometimes, It's about being there together. All of us.
Lucy: You forgot me.
Everyone: AAH! - 13
Total: 62 + 13 = 75
BONUS ROUND 2
Lincoln talking to viewers
Lincoln: All right, I know you're probably saying to yourself 'Lincoln, with ten sisters, there's no way you're going to get to watch your favorite show.' x1
Lincoln: For such a landmark event, we decided that it'd be best for us if we watched it separately. x2
Lincoln: Like I said, I might not be the fastest, and I might not be the strongest, but to get all of my sisters out of the way, it pays to have a plan. x3
Lincoln: You know, I may have missed my show. But sometimes, it's not about being there first. x4
Total: 75 × 4 = 300
One sentence: ARRGH
For our next victim, suggest one from the second season! Don't forget to comment!