Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns everything from the Twilight Saga.

Chapter1. Separation

Alice, Edward, and I are speeding out of Volterra, Italy after the decision of the Volturi. Alice stole another car and is now driving at speeds I don't want to know. I am sitting in the back seat on Edward's lap. The pathetic thing is that the hole in my chest is healed to the point where one wouldn't believe it was ever there; thanks to his arms being tightly around me. Correction: it feels as if it was never there at all. The unfortunate truth is that he left and everything did in fact happen. I want to forgive him. My heart already has, but my mind won't let me forgive him. My mind is full of doubt and mistrust. This is how I came to the decision to get off his lap and fight for whatever was left of me.

I fought my need for him by staring out the window, into space. I allowed my mind to go blank, even though there were a million questions I should be asking. I had planned to distract myself this way for some time…but Alice had other plans.

"Bella!" Alice said with exasperation.

"Umm…what?" I said questioningly. The curtains were still closing on my inner monologue.

"I asked you a question."

"Oh, sorry, I was kind of off in my own world."

"Anyway, I cannot seem to get a flight that will not conflict with the sun until tomorrow. I just wanted you to know that we are getting a hotel room to stay in tonight and a part of tomorrow. Okay?"

"Okay," I said, barely keeping the slight quiver out of my voice. I didn't know if my resolve with him could hold or not.

I looked up at Alice, hoping for some kind of relief. Her eyes were full of confusion and sadness. She closed them, hinting she was having a vision. When she opened her eyes, she looked anxious. I didn't understand the change.

I hadn't looked at Edward since I put the slight separation between us. I knew he was staring at me. He hadn't taken his eyes off me yet. I was not ready to look at him; I knew I would get lost in the depths of his eyes. It would only hurt more when his guilt faded away. I am exhausted, both physically and emotionally. I need sleep or at least an escape of some kind from my life…

I didn't fall asleep, nor was I conscious. I drifted in and out of reality during the rest of the drive to the hotel. The sudden jolt from the car coming to a halt brought me back to life, if that is what you want to call it. I reached for the handle to get out, but the door opened before I could get to it. I slowly got out; the long drive had left me achy and short-tempered. I kept my head down not wanting to make eye contact with him. Once I was a safe distance away, I looked up towards the hotel. My mouth dropped and I was spell-bound. The hotel was beautiful, to say the least. The architecture was obviously from the Renaissance period.

I was pulled out of my reverie by the sound of Alice and Edward arguing. I was sure their discussion, which consisted of growling and hissing at one another, had something to do with me. I should probably care when I'm being spoken about in third person, but I was suddenly hit with a plague of fatigue. All I wanted to do was to get some sleep.

I stood there waiting for a few minutes before Alice startled me. I hadn't realized they had stopped bickering. Alice took my hand and briskly walked to the elevator, basically dragging me there. She seemed to be in a hurry, but I had no idea why. We made it to the elevator in what seemed like an Olympic record time. She tipped the elevator attendant after we got off on the top floor. We got to our room and Alice quickly shut the door. She led me to the black leather couch dominating the main room. I sat down rather abruptly, turning to face Alice. She slid closer to clasp my face between her palms.

"Bella, please, tell me what you are thinking? The future is blurry and confusing, and it has been like this since we got in the car." She paused for a second and then pleaded: "Let me in. Tell me what is wrong, Bella." I looked over to the door worriedly.

"He won't be up here for a few minutes; I gave him the wrong credit card. I needed some time to talk with you one on one." She smiled and mumbled something about his temper going along with his unruly hair. Then, Alice got very serious. "Now, do you want to tell me what is wrong or am I going to have to force it out of you?"

I didn't know what to tell her. I was silent. I begged her with my eyes to understand my pain and longing. I still loved him with all of myself, but I did not trust him. The question is what is love without trust?

"Bella, I know you are hurting, but keeping it inside is not going to help. Let me help you or let him in, because you haven't even looked at him. He is not doing well and he is not hiding it. This silence from you is killing him as much as it is you." She was begging me to understand, but I could not.

She asked hesitantly, "Could you promise me something?" I nodded. I would do anything for her, especially after everything she has done for me.

"Please, let him say what he has to say, or at least look at him." Before I could respond, the door knob turned and I halted to the sound of his velvety voice.

"Alice," he growled. "You gave me the wrong credit card. I had to use my old one."

Once he was inside, his eyes darted around anxiously like he was looking for something valuable he had lost. When his eyes landed on me, it seemed he had found what he was looking for. His eyes softened but grew terribly sad. For that moment, I allowed myself to get lost in the depth of his eyes. I had to force myself to look away. I took a couple of deep breaths to calm myself but his scent was engulfing me.

I addressed Alice, "Ummm…I think I am going to try to lie down and get some sleep."

"You should eat first; let me get you something from room service. It will only take a minute." Alice said.

"I am really not hungry, Alice." I then heard a small but growing growl from behind me.

"Shhh, Edward!" Alice said with annoyance.

"Bella, you really should eat. You can rest while you wait on your food. I will take care of everything." She said this with a patronizing tone.

I gave her an icy glare. I did not like being talked to like a child, but I was too tired to argue.

So I nodded and Alice let out a breath of relief.

I went to lie on the black leather coach in front of the wide screen television. I turned it on to stay awake. I flipped through the channels hoping to distract myself. After a few moments, my mind began to wander down paths I didn't want to take. What was I going to tell Charlie? I have already put him through so much. I tensed at the thought of Jake. He should hate me. He deserved better than the false hope of me. I was already too broken to begin with.

I sat there thinking while I pretended to watch T.V., aware of his proximity to me. He drew closer without thinking. He was staring and his body was turned towards me in a half protective and possessive crouch. It was almost like we were connected. I quickly shook the thought out of my head.

"Here is your food." Alice said. I didn't see or hear her come over. Come to think of it, I didn't even hear room service knock on the door. I must have been lost in my thoughts. It reminded me of my zombie period. I hugged my chest as I remembered the pain.

I then remembered my manners, "Thank you, Alice." I failed to keep the aforementioned quiver out of my voice.

"Edward, enough!" Alice whispered in agitated voice. I don't think they thought I was listening. A frustrated huff came from him.

"Are you alright?" Alice asked questioningly.

Of course I wasn't alright. The love of my life doesn't love me. I have to become an immortal and be alone for the rest of my existence! But I replied with a soft "fine." I sat up and ate quickly. Alice had ordered everything off the menu it seemed, there was even escargot. I rolled my eyes at her while I pointed at it.

"Alice, I am going to go bed now, okay?" I said after I was done.

"Okay, Bella, remember your promise." She said with sadness.

"I will try, okay?" I replied.

"Okay."

"Goodnight, Alice."

"Goodnight, Bella."

"Goodnight, Love." Edward said with longing. I stilled again at the sound of his voice. He started walking towards me. How dare he, after everything that happened? I made it into my room before he made it to the door. As I turned around to close the door, he was right there at the archway. He opened his mouth to say something. I could not deal with this pain, nor did I have the patience to ease his guilt. I slammed the door in his face as loudly as I could while I mouthed my apology to Alice.