Jack ran a hand through his hair as he climbed down the hill, he wasn't going to lie but he had missed Cardiff. He'd missed the strong Welsh winds, Gwen's motherly nagging and just the area itself – and of course he'd missed Ianto. There hadn't been a day that's gone by, so far that he hadn't thought of the lovely Welshman. He was etched into his mind, his cute little smile. He remembered the way he spoke, those deep Welsh vowels that just ran straight through him. He couldn't forget him, he had tried. He had tried so hard to forget him, to make the pain go away. He'd spent most of his time drunk or unconscious so his mind wouldn't go wandering back to his dear, Ianto.
But, in all honesty he was sick of trying, and he didn't really want to forget, he just wanted all the pain to go away. He just wanted to stop hurting. But, it was his own fault, anyway. So, he kind of deserved this. He was the one that gave the '456' those children all those years ago, and because of that stupid mistake not only did he lose Ianto, but he lost his grandson Steven, too. He'd never forgive himself for that, never.
With his past loves, they'd all died from natural causes or a twist of fate. Whereas now, his lover had died because of some stupid mistake that he had made in his past, just a stupid mistake that had cost so many lives. He missed Ianto, he had died so young. He was only 26 – 27 years old.
Jack heaved a heavy sigh, fighting back the fresh tears that stung in his eyes. He began to move away from the spot that he must have been standing in for the last ten minutes, just thinking over everything. He sighed; he should go see Gwen now. No doubt, she'll scream in his face for about ten minutes about what a bastard he was for leaving. Which, in fairness – he wasn't going to argue with that, he was a bastard for leaving, but he just couldn't face being there anymore, he had to runaway. He had to try and runaway from his problems and that's what he had done, and probably will continue to do for a very long time to come.
Jack set off away from the hill and onto the country road that lead him to the hill. He stared down the road and frowned slightly, his forehead creasing. He'd only just remembered what a long walk it was. It would be a ten minute walk just to get to the end of this road; he didn't have time for this.
Jack flipped up his wrist up and pressed a few buttons so it transported him to outside Gwen's apartment. Jack held his head as he stood outside Gwen and Rhys' apartment. The whole transporting thing still made him a little dizzy and light-headed; he should be used to it by now, really.
Jack breathed in a big breath, this was it. This was the moment. He'd finally get to see Gwen and Rhys again, and their little one too. Well, he was hoping he would anyway. It could end up going terribly wrong, and Gwen wouldn't want to see him, at all. Maybe she'd just shut him out and slam the door in his face. Or maybe they had moved, it's a possibility as they've got a child now too, maybe the flat wasn't big enough for them.
Jack shook his thoughts away that just must be the paranoia and anxiety getting to him. He had to do this, he had to face reality. Besides, he'd come this far now, he couldn't back out now. He walked determinedly to the door, took another deep breath and knocked on the door, three times. He could hear faint noise coming from inside, so there was no doubt that someone was in.