Kagura/Sakunari: We don't own Sasuke or any other character…but we do have a lease on Neji…which expires in a month so we need to get his (coughunwillingcough) cooperation in the admission for another lease from the government…well…actually…Masashi Kishimoto…but we lovers them all the same =^-^=
Read and Review! ^-^
Chapter 2
The Chest
-With Naruto…T.T'-
*Currently surrounded by soul sucking penguins* *somehow escapes with ramen lord*
-With Neji…Again-
"SAY IT AGAIN!!!!" Neji begged the mirror and his "reflection". "PLEASE!!"
"… Ramen…" His very unhappy looking reflection said slowly, playing with his hair.
Neji grinned very much like our favorite blonde and started to jump up and down over and over again, twirling around in circles.
"Say it again reflection person! And again and again and again and again and-"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU ANNOYING LITTLE FRUIT TARD!!!!"
O.O'''
-__-X
"Hey! I am NOT a pop tart thank you very much…I am TOASTER STRUDEL!!!!" He cried.
His refection sweat dropped. "Ummm Babe? You scare me… but right now you're irritating me to no end and if you don't quit ill shank you in your sleep…"
Neji blinked his tears back. "…Point well taken… I WILL TAKE YOUR ADVICE!!" He struck a very… Lee-like pose… (O.O|||)
Reflection Neji stepped back.
-With Sasuke-
"Okay…so …what am I doing again?" said Sasuke confusedly.
"Remember what you said last chapter?" replied Steve.
"No…not… really…."said Sasuke in deep thought.
-OMGITSAFLASHBACK-
"FINE!" Sasuke shouted at last. "IF YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE I WILL DO ANYTHING YOU WANT ME TOO!!!!
"Hmm okay… a polish sounds nice…" Steve shouted angrily.
Sasuke sighed. "Fine… if you let me go…FOREVER… I will polish the chest you're… stuck to and be on my way!" He said nervously.
"…"
"Steve?"
"…Hmm…"
"Oh come on!"
"… Okay I'll do it. But on one condition…"
-Aw No More Flashback *cries*-
"Oh yeah… now I do…but seriously… do I really have to BE in my boxers WHILE I'm doing this?!" Sasuke exclaimed as he said was in his ass hugging, black with pink hearts, boxers.
"Yes… now polish harder bitch…" Steve growled.
Sasuke flinched and immediately started to do what he was told, cursing all the while.
"Oh yeah deeper, deeper, to the left a little." Steve groaned. "Ahhhh… right there. That was perfect…ya know you should be a furniture polisher you know that?" said Steve, deeply relaxed.
"So this is what the last of the Uchiha clan has been demoted too?" Sasuke muttered. "Polishing little emo ninja raping cedar chests?" He said pitifully as he continued to polish Steve as tears started to bubble up from the corners of his eyes.
He sat down where he stood in front of Steve and threw his head back.
"I WANNA GO HOME!!! STUPID NEJI!!! WHY DID HE HAVE TO BET ME THAT I WOULD GO INTO THIS STUPID HAUNTED HOUSE!?!" he shouted tears now pouring down the sides of his cheeks.
"…-.-'…" Steve sighed.
"PLEASE LET ME GO!!!" Sasuke cried again.
"NO DAMNIT! Not until your done here… oooh yeahhh…" Steve sighed as Sasuke tried to work out his frustration on the chest by spraying on a whole bunch of the seemingly never-ending pledge. "Harder… harder… Harder… HARDER…. HARDER DAMNIT HARDER!!!"
-Poof-
Smoke
Smoke
Smoke
Clear
Clear
Cle-WTFH!
Sasuke jumped back in shock and dropped the pledge and rag, which disappeared before it even got near the floor.
The chest named Steve disappeared in a puff of smoke and in its place stood a very, VERY hot…black and red kimono dressed …woman?
Sasuke shuddered, as she kind of looked like that snake pedophile Orochimaru; only without the excessive makeup and unnaturally white skin.
The dark room disappeared and all of a sudden Sasuke was back where he first met… Steve.
Sasuke couldn't take everything in at once…"W-what?!? What happened to Steve the Chest and WHO ARE YOU!!!" He blinked frozen in place looking her up and down then also around the room.
"Wha-?" The unknown woman said, running hands up and down her body, as though she couldn't believe she was actually there.
She looked from Sasuke to the darkness of her surroundings.
"…Hello? Steve? Ever hear of him? Big cedar chest possessed by his emo raping soul?" Sasuke stuttered angrily, though he was glad to be away from him at that moment…maybe this woman could help him escape?
Her voice was deep but still very feminine. "What happened…I'm back in my original body…but how?"
She stopped and took a deep breath.
"…" Sasuke stared.
"Wow! I haven't breathed in a LONG time." She stated.
"Who ARE you woman!" He stopped and thought a sec when he realized she didn't hear a word he said. "What did you do to Steve!"
She blinked and turned to him, with a Very pissed off Sakura look. "Don't call me woman… and, I. AM. STEVE…well I was…I hate the long hair but at least I'm still a guy…" he said, pulling his kimono out a little bit and quietly looked down at his body.
"WHAT!?!" He screamed twitching uncontrollably.
Still looking pissed Steve casually swayed his hips as he stalked towards Sasuke giving off another of those creepy Orochimaru vibes, "… Hey...Suke-chan…"
"S-shit…" He twitched again backing away and ran for the door, effectively blocked Steve's chances of getting to it before him, who just grinned and started fiddling with the kimonos belt.
The door was locked.
"NO!" Sasuke started to jiggle the door trying to pry it open, and went for the crow bar that amazingly appeared out of nowhere.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO LET ME GO LET ME GO LET ME GO LET ME GO LET ME GOOOOOOO!!!!" He started to swing it at the door, furiously, still in his boxers.
"Never…"
All of a sudden the crowbar disappeared and so did the room, but the room only come back a second later as a candle lit bedroom.
"Hey! Where am I now?" Sasuke panicked seeing the large, black silk bedding covered bed.
"Why… you are in MY old room… nice huh?" Steve said.
"Y-y-y-y-y-your OLD r-r-r-room!! Oh… no…!" Sasuke whipped around and saw the now human bodied Steve.
To stall for time as he tried to find a way out he started asking questions as he tried backing up some more. "Sooo… You ARE Steve… right? And you are a guy right? What should I call you now, because Steve is a guys name and you look more a Stephanie or Veronica or even Fabio to me or something or the other… I'm just saying…" He rambled on looking around frantically as his back hit the wall, "Can I get out of here now?"
The question stopped him for a second as he thought over the questions. "Yes, yes, Fabio will do just fine and No you can't leave."
Sasuke screamed. "GYAAAAAAAH! …Wait…" He started to laugh. "Oh my GODDESS you sound so… GAY!!" He howled.
The guy grinned. "I am."
Sasuke choked on his laughter and started coughing. "Y-y-y-y-you ARE!? DAMNIT I have to learn keep my mouth shut!" He whispered to himself the last part.
'Oh my god what the fuck am I going to do now, I need to get out of here before he Does rape me, ah Damn that Neji and his fricken bets!'
His mental argument caught Fabio/Steve's attention.
The…Michael Jackson, Orochimaru, impersonator/wannabe… guy grinned.
"Seeing you think so hard is really starting to turn me on… especially if you're thinking about those friends of yours…"
Sasuke blushed bright red again and refrained from banging his head on the door. 'How'd he know!?'
He backed up quickly as Fabio came towards him. 'Think Sasuke! Think! You are and Uchiha! Not someone to be messed with!! You need to get out of here and fast!'
He shook his head hard, stepping a few feet away from the wall as he paced. "…Damn you Naruto, where are you…bastard… I'll kill him!" He thought frantically for a way out.
Fabio was about four feet away when he paused, hearing what Sasuke was muttering about. "…Naruto? Oh you mean that idiotic blonde you always hang out with? …Mmm…we can do something about that."
Sasuke watched with wide eyes as Fabio made the transformation jutsu hand signs.
-POOF-
Sasuke almost choked again as when the smoke cleared, in Fabio's place, stood an orange kimono covered blonde.
"W-what's going on?" Sasuke stuttered as he backed up and ran into another Naruto, who wrapped his arms around his waist, causing the blondes kimono to slip slightly and Sasuke's face to go red.
The Fabio, now Naruto, in front of him started to stalk towards him licking his lips as the Naruto behind him held him tighter to keep him from escaping. "Now Suke-chan…what to do with you…?"
Sakunari: *ROTFLHAO* Kyahahaha I couldn't resist attacking Suke-chan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kagura: …sweat drop
Sakunari: …*wipes tears flowing freely* should I make Suke-chan regret going into the house even more??? *looks to Kagura with question mark above head*
Kagura: …you are so cruel to him….*shakes head*
Sakunari: *points* SHUT UP SICK LADY!!!
Kagura: …hey!!! I had tonsillitis and you know it! …besides…I'm not as mean to Sasuke as you are….
Sakunari: No but you are mean to Gaa-chan!
Gaara: *murderous aura*
Kagura: …*anger mark*
Sakunari: …heheh…*sweat drop* N e ways…let's get to those reviews people!
Kagura and Gaara: *conversing angrily* (Gaara) she does have a point you know… (Kagura) don't you start too…or I'll hide your teddy! AND NOT THE BEAR! …..stripper… (Gaara) *horrified* THAT'S A TRADE SECRET!!!
Sakunari: …*categorizes blackmail* oh happy days!