Elizabeth Howard absolutely loved her life the way a stereotypical frat boy loves to get hammered. She was 28, just about graduate from Gotham University with a Master's degree in chemistry with a job waiting for her at the criminology lab to begin at the beginning of next month. But best of all she was on her last assignment for her part time job as a building inspector. The job that had led to the accident that, four years ago, had changed her life forever. Not only had Bruce Wayne felt extremely guilty that it was in his warehouse that the accident had happened that he paid for her medical bills but he had also paid off her student debt and given her grant to return to college to get her masters. She had only kept her job for the extra money as long as she didn't go inside any mob warehouses she was fine.
Elizabeth looked up at the imposing structure of Arkham Asylum the sharp angles of the building made it appear although the chuckhole of insanity was merely a continuation of the jagged rocks it was built on. Once she drove past the main gate she took off her sunglasses, readjusted her brown wig and popped in a pair of contacts, not because she needed them but to hide the colour of her eyes. After all, deep gold was not a natural iris colour, in humans at least, but Elizabeth wasn't exactly human anymore.
The chemicals that she had unwilling been showered in had somehow fused bits and pieces of her DNA with the DNA from the wolves. As bad as it might seem there actually weren't that many negative effects. Her eye sight was better than any other human's; her hearing was sharper than anyone else's. Sure her ears looked like an elf's, her hair was now the steely colour of a wolf's fur, and her eyes were a very un-natural shade of yellow but it wasn't too bad. Now some might say that the accident was a gift and she was wasting it, but it was her gift and she could what she liked with it.
"Could you please handover all tools, ma'am."
"What? Oh, yeah," Elizabeth blinked and handed over her tools to be examined, she had been so lost in thought that she hadn't realized that she had already made it to the front door.
"Everything checks out," the orderly said, "if you just follow me Dr. Gullenrow is waiting for you in his office." Dr. Gullenrow was middle-aged and a strange man but very nice. He had a Freudian method of dealing with the patients but that didn't stop him from medicating the hell out of the patients if need be. Several of his patients had even recovered enough to be placed into the regular Stonegate Penitentiary.
"Good afternoon Miss Howard, I trust you are feeling well today."
"Very well, thank you, Dr. Gullenrow."
"Good, good, I'm sure you are prepared so shall we go?" He said, removing a large key ring from his right hand drawer.
"Sure." Elizabeth said only with the slightest hint of nervousness peppering her voice. Dr. Gullenrow nodded and led her out the door; she had seen almost every section of the asylum on her previous inspections. Working one day and security level at a time she had passed every cell, nook and cranny except for the containment units for the infamous Rogues which is where she was headed today.
"So I hear you'll be graduating next week, Miss Howard, what for?"
"Chemistry, and then I'll be working in the Gotham crime lab, today is my last day as a building inspector."
"Really? How interesting, a lab worker? Most people would want to be closer to the action."
"Not me doctor, I've been shot at before and do not wish to be again."
"Naturally…" Dr. Gullenrow stopped; they had reached the high security ward. "Now remember we can only take one out at once and do not react to the others, they will try and provoke you. I wish the laws allowed someone to be in there with you while you are working for protection."
"Don't worry I'll be careful." The doctor opened the door and Elizabeth heard the stirrings of the rogues as they stepped in.
"You can start with Harvey Dent's cell."
"I've told ya' the name's Two-Face!"
"Of course it is. Now if you'll assume the position, this young lady is going to make sure your cell is up to regulation." Harvey grunted and placed his hands on the wall opposite to the door with his feet spaced wide and head down. The orderly that had joined them on the second floor rushed in, a stun gun pointed at Dent's back, he was close enough to holstered the gun and grabbed Dent's arms and zip-tied his wrists together. Harvey was led out by the elbows.
"Remember, use your beeper when you are done and we'll return. Come now Harvey! You're going to have lovely little health exam."
"Fuck." Elizabeth heard the scarred man say as he was shepherded out the door as she was then alone with the Rogues. Exhaling deeply she took out her measuring tape and began to measure the length of the room.
"Is that you Alice?" A voice from the cell next to Harvey's asked.
"She has brown hair, Jervis, she's not Alice." The tall skinny man in the opposing cell said.
"Oh, well that won't do, I'm not interested then."
"I am," the tall man approached the glass, "are you going to pretend you are not afraid by ignoring us?" Elizabeth didn't respond she didn't need this on her last day. Why did she always get the sucky jobs? "So why are you afraid? We are locked in here we cannot do anything to you. There is not any reason to be afraid."
"Hahahahaha!" A cackling laugh came from down the hall, "Come now Jonny-boy! What isn't there to be afraid of? We're the most dangerous criminals in all of Gotham! If she's not afraid we're not doing our job!"
"Stop calling me Jonny-boy Joker! It is Dr. Crane to the likes of you!" Elizabeth stood and transferred her numbers to the clipboard she was carrying, still blocking out the conversation as much as she could.
"Are you scared girly," the Joker asked.
"Torment her when you can see her Joker," the squawk-like voice of the Penguin said, "and what a sight it is. She may not be blonde Jervis but she is quite the bird." Elizabeth turned around slightly to see the Cobblepot sticking his beakish nose against the glass, his monocle shinning menacingly. Her upper lip curled slightly in disgust when she realized that she had been giving the revolting man a perfect view of her butt.
"Tweet, tweet. Sweetheart, I'll give you something to sing about." Elizabeth's eye was now twitching violently. She transferred a few more numbers and beeped for Dr. Gullenrow to return. The good doctor must have been waiting outside because he opened the door almost at once.
"Are you okay Miss Howard?"
"I'm fine Dr. Gullenrow; their heckling causes me no concern."
"Heckling!" Dr. Crane shouted, "I was making a serious inquiry. I was not heckling!"
"I was," the Joker giggled.
"Quite all of you!" Dr. Gullenrow yelled, "This lady has a job to do and you're going to let her do it without any more fuss. Especially you Mr. Cobblepot or you will see your recreation time severely reduced." Oswald frowned and sunk back into his cage.
"Okay," the doctor said into the radio, "you can bring Dent in now." The door opened and two orderlies walked in carrying Harvey Dent between them. The ex-defense attorney must have put up a fight during his exam because he was sedated enough that he was stumbling and muttering nonsense. They laid him carefully on the bed and slammed the cell door shut.
"Actually…why don't you do Oswald's cell next." Elizabeth nodded in agreement not really caring whose cell she inspected next, only that she would finish with as little trouble as possible. The bird man sighed when the orderly grabbed ahold of him, the dejected look on his face made Elizabeth cock an eyebrow slightly in confusion.
"Come on Oswald perk up," Dr. Gullenrow said cupping the man on the shoulder, "health exams aren't all bad!"
"Says the man who isn't about to receive one," Penguin murmured. The door shut behind them leaving Elizabeth once again alone with the Rogues, but this time they weren't focused on her.
"Damn!" Jervis swore from the corner that he was sitting in.
"Agreed," Dr. Crane said as resigned tone to his voice, "it is as I feared we're all going to receive health exams today."
"And by the looks of ol' Two-Face down there, the nurse must be that revolting troll woman." The Joker commented.
"I absolutely loath her."
"Almost as much as Batman." The others muttered their agreement.
Elizabeth was slightly shocked at the criminal's reactions she had thought them hardcore, manipulative fiends, but here they were distraught over needing a health exam and bemoaning the nurse like normal, non-psychotic people. Shrugging she made a note on her clipboard that the ceiling light was two inches too far to the left. 'Ridiculous, as long there is a light it shouldn't matter where it is.' She tuned out the conversation as she bent down to measure the floor relieved that she wouldn't be giving Mr. Cobblepot another spectacular view of her butt.
"The Penguin might be right," the Mad Hatter said from his corner, "but she still is not an Alice so she's not any good." Elizabeth nearly face-palmed herself, apparently these criminals really liked her butt.
"You might say so but I think she would look even better screaming in terror."
"Of course you would, but she'd shine the best laughing to death."
"You have not even seen her Joker," the Hatter said.
"So, everyone looks better in the throes of death laughter." Elizabeth rolled her eyes wondering how long it had been since these criminals had actually seen a decent looking woman.
"Harley would not be too happy if she heard you Joker," Dr. Crane said.
"Dear God that woman is such a bother. I wonder where she is anyways; she usually tries to break me out by now."
"I do not know Joker," Crane snapped, a touch jealous that the Joker had someone that wanted him out. "Maybe, since you hit her with a buck shot last time you were together she is at Ivy's or maybe even dead."
"Dead!? I didn't think of that well good riddance to her then…"
"You do not mean that."
"Well, I guess she was useful…"
"Go on…"
"And she is helpful most of the time and she is attractive."
"She would make a good Alice," the Hatter said moving closer to the cell door.
"Shut up!" Joker yelled. "Harley is mine! …Fuck you Johnny-boy!"
"What did I do?"
"Playing those Psycho games with me! Asshole." Elizabeth stifled her laughter but her snort was still heard by those in the cells next to her.
"So she is able to hear us, Miss Howard can you answer my question then?" Elizabeth let out a sigh and pressed the call button on the pager. Dr. Gullenrow had told her not to give away any information about herself especially her name and here he had gone and let her name slip the first chance he got, now the Scarecrow knew it and so did everyone else, besides Two-Face. Sure it wasn't a rare last name but it wasn't particularly common either. Hopefully, the villains wouldn't care too much and simply see her as someone to tease today.
After half a minute the section door opened and Dr. Gullenrow quickly opened the door to release her. Two muscular orderlies dragged the hefty Rogue into the cell and set him on the bed. Once the cell was relocked he gestured to Jervis Tetch's cell. The English man sighed when the orderly zipped tied his wrists.
"I am not ill; I do not require a check-up."
"It's required Mr. Tetch, whether you are psychically ill or not." The Hatter sighed again his head hung low. Elizabeth was shepherded into his cell by Dr. Gullenrow, patted on her on the back and told her she was doing well. She thanked him and he left, taking his time and trying to send non-verbal warnings to the inmates not to mess with her.
"Hehe, the good doctor seems to have a soft spot for you," the Joker said staring at her reflection in the glass of the Scarecrow's cell. "I can see why though you have a very nice ass."
"Shut up Joker," the Scarecrow said, "she still hasn't answered my question. Why are you afraid of us?" Elizabeth's back straightened and she looked Jonathan Crane dead in the eye. The tall man raised in eyebrow at her sudden change in character.
"I'm not afraid of you, as you said I have no reason to be. Now leave me alone I have a job to do." Elizabeth turned to the nearest wall took out her measuring tape and began working keeping her face as stone cold as possible. The Joker laughed loudly at the startled look on Dr. Crane's face.
"Shut up Joker!" Crane yelled his face going a little red. He breathed in deeply and composed himself, "If anything now she is even more interesting, if little Miss Howard is not afraid of us then what could she be afraid of?" Elizabeth rolled her eyes, 'they really aren't going to leave me alone are they?'
"You know," the Joker said once he had finished his laughing fit, "The good Doctor seems fond of her, did you see the way he touched her and looked at us! That pervy old man!"
"What is so fragile that even saying its name breaks it and that I want right now?" A new voice said over the Joker's giggling. Joker stopped and looked into the cell opposing his, the lights were dimmed in the cell but you could still see a figure lying on the bed.
"Oh, so you're finally up then Eddy."
"I said I want it now," Edward said sitting up and turning to stare at the Joker.
"But I don't know the answer to the riddle, so I don't know what you want. Why don't you give me a hint?" The Riddler glowered at the Joker. "Okay, okay, you don't give hints! Jeesh!"
The Riddler's eyes shifted to Elizabeth and gave her a once over, "Do you know the answer?"
She turned and looked at him, "…silence."
"Correct." He smirked and looked back at the Clown, "Now do you understand Joker?"
"Yes, but it doesn't mean I'll be quite…hehe," Edward narrowed his eyes, "fine! But only until she gets done with Hatter's cell I want to tease her while I can see her." The other villain rolled his eyes but nodded and lay back down.
"Thank you Jonathan." The Scarecrow shrugged and sat on the floor still analyzing the inspector for any weakness. He knew the importance of peace and quite well plotting his escape. Elizabeth returned to her work determined to slow her work on this cell down as much as she could.