Author: Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.
JP: Will you please be quiet?
Author: Oh, sorry, I'm just in pain right now. No big deal.
JP: Shhh! I'm writing the sixth Maximum Ride book!
Author: Oooh! You are? Can I help?
JP: No.
Author: Why not?
JP: No.
Author: Why not??
JP: No.
Author: Are you going to say no to everything I say?
JP: No.
Author: Liar!
JP: Okay FINE you can help me!!
Author: *Does happy dance*
JP: What do you think – should Fang kiss Max or another girl?
Author: Another girl! Another girl!
JP: Whom?
Author: Someone with brown hair and hazel eyes and Sketchers and who has kitty cats and dogs and a hamster and an evil twin and loves texting! *smiles, for she knows she just described herself*
JP: And wherever will we find someone who matches that description?
Author: PICK ME! PICK ME!! PICK ME!!!
JP: Nah. Let's just go with Max.
Author: *Frowns* We'll just see about that… *cackles evilly*
JP: Did you just laugh manically?
Author: I prefer to call it "cackling".
JP: Okay gotcha. Now who should Max get abducted by?
Author: OOH! I know! Let someone with brown hair and hazel eyes and Sketch –
JP: You are not going to be in my book.
Author: What makes you so sure?
JP: I'm the one writing it.
Author: Good point.
JP: Yes, I know.
Author: Do you like purple llamas?
JP: Excuse me?
Author: You heard me.
JP: No I didn't.
Author: Yes you did. You are lying!
JP: If I was lying, wouldn't my pants be on fire?
Author: Maybe you purchased the non-flammable type!
JP: Maybe I did.
Author: IGGY!!!!
*Iggy walks in*
Author: Did JP purchase non-flammable pants?
Iggy: Well….
FLASHBACK
JP: Do these pants make my butt look big?
Iggy: Nope.
JP: Did you look?
Iggy: Nope. Are you getting the non-flammable type of pants?
JP: Yes… are you?
Iggy: All of mine are non-flammable. For obvious reasons.
JP: You lie a lot?!
Iggy: No! I make bombs!
JP: Right.
Iggy: You should've known that.
JP: I, um, did. I was just testing you.
Iggy: Yeah. Suuuuuuuure.
END FLASHBACK
Author: You did! You liar!
JP: OK YES I DID! NOW LEAVE ME ALONE AND LET ME WRITE MY BOOK!!!!
Author: *Gets scared and runs out of room with Iggy following behind closely*
JP: Finally. Some peace and quiet!