Chapter 2: The Fight Inside
Summary: The secret that one person holds doesn't keep the others from caring about you. Nothing makes us lonely as our secrets.
Author's Note: Hi everyone! This is the second chapter for my story. I hope you guys enjoy! Again, in this story, Emily (not Reid) was the person JJ told about her secrets in the episode Forever People. I hope for more people to read my story. I also hope for more reviews! It just makes me so happy and driven to write the next chapter for this story.
"And when at last you find someone to whom you feel you can pour out your soul, you stop in shock at the words you utter – they are so rusty, so ugly, so meaningless and feeble from being kept in the small cramped dark inside you so long."
-Sylvia Path, the Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Path
Birds chirping are the first sounds that echoed through the beginning of the morning twilight. The gleam of the first rays of the sun glisten through the dew drops on the leaves that formed during the night. A fog was still covering some parts of the street in the quiet neighborhood in Virginia. It was a beautiful day.
A ring on a phone was the only sound that disturbed the sounds of nature inside a modest house in suburb Virginia. A pair of blue eyes opened very slowly, reacting to the beeping sound on the bedside table. She was just sitting on the bed, back on the headboard of the bed with legs beneath the blankets that cover her. She was unable to sleep these past few days, just surviving the night with eyes closed thinking of what could have been. It was good that nobody's home for the past week, as Will took Henry to visit his mother's place in New Orleans for a birthday visit.
The Jareau's are a very private family. From the mother, Sandy Jareau, who didn't even express her sadness over her husband's untimely death in front of the family; to the older sister, Rosaline Jareau, who killed herself without even hinting why. Jennifer Jareau lived with this kind of atmosphere, thinking that keeping things was right. Because of that, even the shock of finding her own sister inside a bathtub flowing with blood red water from the mangled wrists that her sister cut was forced to be kept inside her.
She was shocked to hear Henry, a few months ago, asking to visit his aunt in the "better place" that her mother told her son while she was answering a call from work. It was the first time since she remembered her mother even saying her sister's name from her own lips. They talked about it, and suddenly a small crack opened in the shell of the Jareau's.
Even when she first found out that she was pregnant, she kept it a secret, not only with the team, but also with the father, Will Lamontange Jr. It took a bit of a time to even call him about the baby, afraid of rejection and opening up to another person.
But even with the acceptance of Will, she was afraid of commitments. Having been proposed, she just couldn't open herself to another person. This just contradicts her way of life of owning and keeping to herself on the world.
When the bank robberies happened, a part of her shell went away after realising the importance of someone else that is in your life for a long time.
Another beep from her phone on the bedside table interrupted her again from her thoughts. Reaching out to the table, she got her phone noticing two messages, one from Will and another from Hotch. Reading the first message, it says: "Hey Sunshine, good morning! Henry and I were just finishing our chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast. We have a long day ahead, touring Henry around the place. Anyway, have a good day! Love Will."
A smile entered her face as she read the message from her husband. She was supposed to go with them to New Orleans, but on the day when they are supposed to leave, a case happened on Oregon, where five children were kidnapped and killed within 24 hours of kidnapping. The last thing she and Will did before leaving is arguing about it.
In that case, she bruised her ribs and sprained her wrists a little from wrestling the unsub as she was cornered in the final showdown with him. Coupled with a mild concussion, she was admitted in the hospital for a day. Later that night, she called her husband and apologized in their fight a day earlier.
She shook her head after reminiscing and called Will. After a few rings, she heard a voice that she wanted to hear, "Hello?" a southern accented greeting came through the phone.
"Will? It's JJ. I just want to say good morning to you and to my little buddy." She replied.
"JJ? Good morning! Henry's here beside me. Wait up; I'll give him the phone." Will replied then carried Henry to his lap to give him the phone.
"Mommy..? Good morning! I miss you." Henry asked through the phone.
"Hi, Henry! Good morning to you too! I miss you too... How's the chocolate chip pancakes? I bet it tastes wonderful because your daddy made it." She answered her little buddy on the phone.
"Yes mommy, its super good! Are you coming here, mommy?" the little man asked her mother.
She was a bit surprised by Henry's question. She bit her lip a bit before replying to her son. "Sorry buddy, I can't come there. Don't worry though, I'll be here when you come home and I'll bake you and your daddy chocolate chip cupcakes when you come back okay?" She replied back. After a glum response, she heard her son give the phone back to Will.
"Hey, he's not that disappointed. He just wishes that his mom was here. He'll come back around." Will talked to JJ after Henry gave him back his phone.
"I know... I'm sorry again." JJ replied back.
"Is something wrong?" Will asked her.
"Wha-, I mean, why do you ask?" JJ stumbled a bit before asking back.
"Well, it's just that it's rare for you to call at this hour. You should be driving to work, or you're already at work at this time." Will replied, a bit concerned about her.
"Well, I think this is one of those "rare" times. Anyway, take care, both of you. I love you guys. Tell that to Henry as well, okay?" She replied back. After sharing goodbyes with her husband, she hung up her phone.
She ran her hand through her face to her hair in frustration. She hadn't meant her call to be a disappointing one, especially for Henry. Shaking her head a bit, she looked at the clock beside her in the bedside table and saw the time, 8:00 am. Will was right; she should have been in work already by this time. But there was a reason why she's still at home. It was just convenient that nobody's home this time.
Looking back at her phone to look at the message from Hotch, she read the message: New case. Meeting in thirty.
She sighed at the message. Another case? She was contemplating on what to reply to Hotch when another beep came through her phone. Deciding to read the new message first, she opened the message, surprised that this one came from Mateo Cruz, their Section Chief.
JJ, go take the leave you asked for. I'll talk to Hotch later.
Grateful for the message from Matt, she replied to Hotch:
I need to take a leave. JJ
She just hoped that nobody will ask questions. She knew that the team respected their respective privacies.
She was relieved that Matt still have her back after all that happened to them more than a year ago. She was glad that with all those secrets she carried, there was this one person that carried it with her.
After a brief glimpse to a calendar beside her bedside clock, she removed the blankets covering her and got up from the bed.
"Okay, let's do this."
Again, thanks for reading this story! I hope this isn't such a slow chapter for you guys... Any comments and suggestions are welcome. See you for the next chapter!