Today, Ben had brought the buggy to church, and Young and Libba clamored to ride to the Ponderosa with "Pop-Pop." While Joe was deep in conversation with one of the pretty single gals new to Virginia City, Hoss tied Chubb to the back of Ben's buggy and handed Libba to Ben to sit in his lap. Young was delighted to sit in Hoss's lap because he knew that Ben would point out the creatures of the forest but Hoss would imitate their sounds. Young wanted to learn to make the same sounds. Cochise was left behind for Joe to ride home on.
Sam and Adam smiled as Ben clucked to the horse and very slowly drove home. Libba and Young would always be safe with the Cartwright family. Clucking to his own horse, Adam followed his father, Hoss, and the children. Libba's little voice could be heard as she talked to her grandfather, his arms tightly around her while he held the reins. Young was trying to mimic the bird calls that Hoss made. Sam smiled. "It's so wonderful to see how much the kids adore Pop-Pop and their uncles. I'm so lucky to be part of such a loving family." She turned Adam's face to hers and kissed him. Hard!
Adam looked forward and then backward. "Let's take a different trail to the Ponderosa." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively as he turned the horse off to the right.
Hoss looked back to check on his older brother. "Hey, Pa! Adam's going a different way!"
Ben looked back, chuckled, and said, "Maybe they just need some alone time on this beautiful day. Now stop looking at them."
"But, Pa! Hop Sing'll be angry if…" He stopped talking, blushed, and faced straight forward. "Let's watch the ground and see if we can spot some bunny rabbits," he prompted a backward-looking Young.
"Wabbits," parroted Libba. "Look for wabbits."
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Hop Sing was outside waiting when Ben drove up. "Sing! Sing!" yelled the children in unison. "What did you cook?"
Hop Sing knelt and hugged both little ones. "I cook bat wings and buzzard lips. Dessert is hundred year old eggs!"
"Yummmm!" both children giggled. They knew that Hop Sing was teasing them. He reached in his pocket and gave each child one fourth of a donut.
"Hop Sing," Ben said, rolling his eyes. "You know that the children shouldn't eat sweets before the big meal."
"Only little bit of donut," Hop Sing replied.
"What about me?" Hoss pretended to complain.
"You no need donut. You alla time eat too much sweets!" Hop Sing scurried into the kitchen, leaving Ben and Hoss laughing as they heard the cook muttering in Chinese.
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Not only did the children have toys at the Ponderosa, they also had clothes to change into. Young would always be outside with either Hoss or Little Joe investigating things. Libba mostly stayed in the house with her beloved grandfather and one of her favorite dolls. Both children wore jeans here – eating was a messy business for them. Sam didn't want their "good" clothes to be ruined forever.
Hoss helped Young put on his jeans and shirt and a scuffed pair of boots. Young hurried because he wanted to see the barn owl that Hoss had told him about.
Ben was left to help Libba change clothes. "You look so pretty in you pink dress. And your petticoat makes a delightful rustling sound." Libba beamed. Compliments from Pop-Pop were special. Daintily, she lifted up her dress and peered at her petticoat. "Show everybody!" she proclaimed.
"Uh, Libba. Petticoats are not to be seen," Ben began.
"Why?"
"Um, because they are considered underclothing."
"Why?"
"Because women wear them under their outer clothing. They're not meant to be shown."
"Why?"
"It's just the way things are," Ben said, struggling to get Libba out of her dress, petticoat, shoes and little tights.
"Mama showed me her petticoat." Libba poked out her bottom lip.
"It's okay if Mama and Papa see your underthings," Ben prompted. "And it's okay if Uncle Hoss and Uncle Joe and I see them. But young ladies must be very proper at all times in front of other people."
Libba sucked her lip back in. She liked being called a "young lady." And she was soon dressed in her own pair of little jeans and scuffed boots. She wore one of Young's shirts. Grabbing her doll by an arm and holding onto Ben's hand, they walked downstairs. Ben sat in his chair and reached for his pipe. Libba loved to watch the ritual of first cleaning old tobacco from the pipe, adding fresh tobacco and then lighting the pipe. She particularly liked the smell of the tobacco. She climbed into his lap, her doll in her arms, and smiled as she heard the familiar "click" of the pipe stem between Ben's teeth. Even when she was all grown up with children of her own, if she smelled that same tobacco, she would remember her days of sitting with her grandfather while he smoked his pipe.
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Hoss and Young came in and were followed closely by Sam and Adam. Sam had a twig sticking out of her hair. Adam spied it and removed it, but not before Ben and Hoss saw what was going on.
"Have a nice ride, did you?" Ben asked, his eyes twinkling.
"Wonderful," Adam grinned.
Sam blushed. "Where's Little Joe?"
"He'll be home in time to eat," Hoss advised them. "We won't have to wait long."
"I caught a fish yesterday, Pop-Pop!" Young exclaimed. "But Papa said we should put it back in the water because it was too young to leave its family. And Libba ate a worm."
As Little Joe walked in the door, Libba's face lit up. "Worm!" she exclaimed.
Sam and Adam looked at each other. "She won't…" Adam whispered.
Sam sighed. "I'm afraid she will."
And she did.
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Libba looked up at Ben, her eyes bright. "Young has a worm!"
"Well, that's wonderful. Where is it?" Ben had no idea what Libba really meant, unfortunately.
"In his pants," Libba said, matter-of-factly.
Ben remembered back to when Hoss and Joe were small. He smiled at the thought. "Uncle Hoss had a frog and Uncle Joe had a salamander in their pockets. They were real proud." Apparently Ben hadn't been listening to what Libba was specifically saying. There was no mention of Young's "pockets."
Libba looked at Uncle Hoss and Uncle Joe, her eyes big and round and horrified.
"Pop, wait…" Sam tried to interject.
"But, Libba, a worm will get squashed in Young's pocket. He needs to set it free out by the water trough." Ben talked on.
"Pa…" Adam tried to get his father's attention before it was too late.
A single tear rolled down Libba's cheek. "But that will hurt him. Mama and Papa told me not to hurt the worm. Papa says it's very sensitive." She crawled out of Ben's lap and stood by Young, ready to protect him.
"Pa!" shouted Adam. "We were bathing the kids together and Libba discovered a…um…part of Young's anatomy that she'd never noticed before. She thought it was a worm and tried to pull it off. It hurt Young and we explained to her that she should never do that again."
The dawn of realization hit Ben. His pipe dropped out of his mouth and a cinder burned a hole in his pants. Hoss turned red as a beet and Little Joe went into a giggling fit. Sam covered her face and her shoulders shook. Adam tried very hard to keep a straight face.
"You mean that Libba thought…? Um, she thinks Hoss has a frog…? And Joe has a salamander..?" Ben couldn't make a complete sentence.
Adam nodded, a lop-sided grin plastered on his face. Sam had laughed so hard that she cried; Adam handed her a handkerchief to wipe her face on. For the first time in a long time, Adam watched his father's face redden. Ben looked at the hole in his pants sadly. And he was still speechless – but only for a short time. "Joseph, stop that giggling! Libba, come here, sweetheart."
Libba didn't move and poked out her lower lip defiantly. "Don't hurt Young!"
Finally, Ben began to smile. "I'm not going to hurt Young. I just didn't understand what you were telling me. Now, come sit with me and we'll clear up this misunderstanding." Slowly, Libba walked over to Ben and allowed him to lift her up onto his lap. She still had her favorite doll in one hand and planned to use it as a weapon if necessary.
Young saved the day. He had listened intently to the anatomy lesson given by Sam. He knew all the correct terminology of his and Libba's body parts and explained to Libba that he did not have a worm attached to his body. What he did have was supposed to be there and would grow there and would be there until he died. Ben, trying desperately to make amends, explained that Uncle Hoss and Uncle Joe – even himself – and every other man in the world, had the same body parts. Uncle Hoss's "private parts" did not look like a frog and Uncle Joe's did not look like a salamander. Looking at Libba's solemn face, Ben did stretch a point – he said that Libba made an honest mistake thinking that her brother had a worm attached to his body.
"It's not very pretty, is it?" Libba whispered in Ben's ear. Nobody else heard what she said.
Ben roared with laughter. And he would never tell anyone why. "I guess it's not going to win any prizes," he whispered back.
Anatomy class was over. Thank God. But with Libba and Young, one never knew quite what to expect…
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Hop Sing had baked three chickens, platters of vegetables from the garden, and there was lemon pie for dessert.
"Where are the bat wings and buzzard lips and the hundred year old egg?" Young teased the cook.
"Save for later. Good for snack," Hop Sing grinned and returned to the kitchen.
As Young rose from the table, he tripped over his chair leg and fell. He said something unintelligible – except to Libba and to Sam. Libba clapped her hand over her mouth, her eyes wide. Sam gaped.
"Young Cartwright! Where did you hear that word!" Young shrugged. He was not going to be a tattletale.
"What did he say?" Ben asked.
Sam's face was angry. "You don't want to know, Pop." But Sam strode by Ben and went into the kitchen. Voices were heard but the words were all in Chinese. There was a hush in the dining room as ears strained to try to understand what was going on. Sam emerged, ready to explain; her face had softened. But Hop Sing shuffled in, his face sad.
"Hop Sing velly solly, Mister Ben. One time Hop Sing clumsy. Drop heavy pan on foot. Say bad word in front of children. Another time, Hop Sing hit thumb with rolling pin. Say bad word again. Children hear. They learn bad word from dishonorable cook." Hop Sing bowed his head.
Young puffed up his chest. "I heard Papa say 'damn' and 'hell' and nobody fussed at him! Mama said it too!"
Adam clapped his hand over his son's mouth. Young was telling the truth. Apparently, the children heard more than anyone knew. Sam knelt down. "Young, 'damn' and 'hell' aren't nice words, and Papa and I will try not to use them again. When you and Libba are grown up, I can't tell you what you can and can't say. But what you said a minute ago was a really bad word. You didn't know that. Hop Sing didn't deliberately teach you that word, and I never want either you or Libba to say it again. Is that understood?"
"Yes, ma'am," both children answered solemnly. Hop Sing stood quietly.
"Hop Sing," Ben said gently, "please watch what you say when you know the children are around. You made a mistake. We all make mistakes. This is one mistake that must not happen again. And that goes for me and Hoss and Little Joe too." Heads nodded.
Ben lightened the mood immediately. "Who wants to hear the story about the day that Young and Libba's Papa climbed a tree and couldn't get back down?" Everybody did.