Divided Plans:

N.J Jordbrukaren.

Firstly; thank you everyone for your kind reviews. Secondly; really sorry for not updating sooner. A friend had a surfing accident and I haven't had the opportunity to do much other than read and review other people's awesome stories. Updates will be regular from now on.

Oh, hey, and thirdly; Each chapter was partially inspired by a song. The title of the song is in the title of each chapter. I updated chapter one, so if you want to see then go ahead. Thanks, peeps!

Everything is Bioware's, I just take them out for cookies and milk every once and a while. Especially Marauder Shields… He is a regular cookie fiend.

Nickelback - Savin' Me.

Chapter Two: Savin' Me.

Two Hours Earlier:

Shepard ran. It was all she could do. With Liara and Garrus back in safety the only person she had to make sure reached that beam was her, and she was going to get there even if it killed her.

A blast from Harbinger sent a nearby Mako flying towards her. No fucking way. Shepard's instinct pulled her to the ground where her knees skidded in the mud. If I get killed here I'm going to come back to haunt Wrex. The momentum behind her pushed her closer towards the Mako, so much so that she could feel the heat of the flames that had engulfed it against her face.

Shepard slammed her eyes closed and grimaced as she braced for impact… An impact that never came. The Mako's tail end slammed upright into the floor directly in front of her, the force of its own momentum causing it to bounce back off the ground and skim over Shepard's head, crashing into a concrete wall somewhere behind her.

Without hesitation, Shepard hopped back onto her feet and continued to run the vast distance between her and the beam. She had not noticed before, but dozens of soldiers were being cut down all around her as they all attempted to reach the same destination. Luckily, so far, every blast had missed her, some not by more than a few metres, but for the most part she was doing well. That was until she got closer to the beam… And Harbinger.

"Shepa-!" Whoever shouted her name was cut off as the red beam tore straight through their path. It continued to cut diagonally across the muddy plain, tearing up the earth as it went by. The heat caught Shepard by surprise, but she did not have time to react. A short red blast knocked her off her feet, throwing her harshly into a nearby abandoned grizzly.

Ah, crap. The pressure in her head was too much; tendrils of darkness began to claw at her consciousness, dragging her under its hopeless tide.

No fucking way…

No fucking way…

No fucking way…

"No fucking way…"

Shepard was not going down that easily. The Commander braced her hands upon the vehicle behind her, using the new leverage to push herself onto her feet.

Pain.

She had it in droves. The arteries in her nose expelled their blood harshly, sending the red lifeblood shooting out of her nostrils. She knew she had broken something, as well… Or everything. Some bones were bent in directions they were never meant to, clicking and cracking in ways she didn't think possible. Still, she soldiered on towards the beam.

"Shepard…" A soldier gargled as she limped by him. Shepard was not squeamish by any standards, but there was something about seeing a man blown in half, entrails everywhere that made her want to gag right now. That could have been you. There it was. She wasn't fussy about the fact that he was lying there bleeding profusely from what was left of his abdomen. No. It was the fact that, if their places were reversed, that would have been her. And who would save the galaxy then. You certainly wouldn't. You'd be legless… So to speak.

She faltered as she took a miniscule step forward, her hand clutching at her side in pain. So focused upon getting to the beam was she that she failed to notice the trio of husks run out from behind a corrugated block of metal further ahead, only seeing them when they were mere metres away. No, where'd I put my gun? What was that? Something nudged her ankle.

"Shepard." It was the man who had been torn in half… It was Major Coats. "Take." He groaned, urging her on by prodding her in the ankle with the butt of his pistol again. "Win."

With a nod, she bent down, her face scrunching with pain as she clasped the weapon in her digits. "Husks. Shoot." Major Coats pointed out weakly before letting his head lifelessly fall into a muddy puddle.

Shepard took no further prompting. Aiming the weapon at the first of the three husks she blew a hole straight through its chest, causing it to tumble backwards into one of the other husks, effectively knocking it down. That works. The Commander smirked before blowing the third husks head clean off of its shoulders. Limping within an effective shooting distance, she did the same with the second husk as it squirmed around, trying to remove the first dead husk from atop itself.

Now for the big one. She looked up to see the bright blue beam standing proudly before her.

Bang.

More pain.

The Commander had failed to see the marauder dash out from the left, assault rifle in hand. Shepard needed to pull herself together. In her pain she was forgetting to take note of her surroundings, which had almost resulted in her death, twice over, in fact. The bullet wound on her shoulder stung and burned like hell, but she had to take the enemy down. Five quick squeezes of the trigger and the marauder slumped to the floor, its gun uselessly thudding to the ground.

Okay, here goes nothing. Putting her pain to one side for the sake of galactic importance, Shepard clipped her pistol to what was left of her armour and ran towards it. I hope there is a soft landing wherever I come out.

There wasn't. The beam expelled Shepard to the ground with force, knocking whatever air she had left in her lungs firmly back out. Holy fuck, my ribs! Again, Shepard felt the familiar grip of unconsciousness begin to tug at her very being, coaxing her into it.

*Shepard?*

Fuck…

*Commander?*

Crap…

*Commander Shepard!*

Bosh'tet…

"Anderson?" Shepard could not be sure whether it was just her imagination, or whether the Admiral was really shouting for her. How did Anderson get up here? "You up here too?"

There was a grunt on his side. "Yeah, followed you up. Didn't come out in the same place, though."

Thanks Captain Obvious, or should I say Admiral Obvious? Never mind, now isn't the time. "Do you know where we are?" Shepard sniffled, nearly gagging when the sickly taste of iron hit the back of her tongue.

"No," Anderson wheezed. Right now Shepard was more worried about him than she was about their location. That being said; if she wanted to find him she would have to hurry. "But there is something odd about this place. The walls, they… Keep shifting. This isn't like any part of the Citadel I have ever seen before." Shepard nodded in agreement as she limped past a lone Keeper.

"Same here. There's a Keeper around. It's taking the bodies apart, picking their armour off." Shepard winced as the Keeper tugged at the arm of a rotting corpse, the limb separating from the rest of the body quite easily.

Ew.

"Wait."

"Anderson? Talk to me."

The line went silent for a few agonizing minutes before his tired voice came back. "I found some kind of passage way. There is a light up ahead, some kind of panel."

Shepard chuckled to herself, stopping suddenly when the pain in her side announced itself once more. "Don't get too far ahead of me, will you." Her grin quickly faded when there was no answer from his end. "Anderson?" Damn it! Shepard made to run towards the end of the hallway, but when her ankle clicked painfully she abruptly stopped and continued limping.

Goddamnit, for once why couldn't everything just go as planned? If the AA guns had worked a lot more people would be around.

Shepard stopped thinking when the door slid open. A blinding amount of light hit her eyes, causing her to hiss in pain. And why won't things just stop hurting? If it isn't my ankle, it is my ribs, and if it isn't my ribs then it is my fucking nose! Shepard stood above a small, downward sloping ramp. What were the Reapers thinking when they built this thing? 'Hey, let's throw a couple of steep slopes in, that'll show 'em!' Shepard snorted when she imagined one of the older Reapers fist shaking. Come on, they didn't know that you were going to stroll up here fifty-thousand years later with the intent to wipe them all out. If they did they probably would have put more than just a few slopes in. They could have kidnapped Javik and put him on guard. Nobody would come up here then, that's for sure.

A swishing sound drew Shepard's attention elsewhere. These must have been the walls Anderson spoke about. She picked up her pace… Well, as much as she could anyway. The light became brighter the higher she got up the ramp until became blinding. She covered her eyes with her forearm as she pressed on. I'll be damned if I let a little light stop me from doing this.

The closer she got, the more clearer to silhouette before her became. "Anderson?" Shepard lowered her arm, the light having vanished behind something. There was something wrong. Anderson was tense… Almost puppet like.

"Shepard… I… Can't." Every muscle in his body flexed painfully as a figure stepped closer from behind Shepard.

Shepard sensed the other presence before she heard it. It felt like someone had a corkscrew and was slowly twisting it into her skull. "I underestimated you, Shepard." The Illusive Man. His smoky voice was one of the most recognisable parts of him. His face was too, but… Well, suffice to say it did not look like him anymore. "I warned you. Control is a means to survival. Control of the Reapers… And of you, if necessary."

He watched smugly as Shepard's face contorted in pain.

Yes. Control is also a means to power. Power which I shall have by controlling the Reapers to lead humanity into a new era. Having Shepard back on my side will prove useful, as well.

"They are controlling you!"

"I don't think so, Admiral." Shepard did not approve of anything this bastard did, but, to his credit, he had plenty of resolve… Or the Reapers did. She didn't know what The Illusive Man was to begin with, but whatever he was now was not the same.

"Controlling me is a lot more different than controlling a Reaper."

The Illusive Man folded his arm over his chest, the other resting atop that so his hand could scratch his chin. After a moment's contemplation, his cold blue cybernetic eyes aligned with hers. "Have a little faith." Those four words shook Shepard to her core. She would not show it, but they did. She had seen what Cerberus was capable of first hand, not to mention the stuff she had seen Henry Lawson doing for them. Shepard honestly did not doubt that The Illusive Man had his ways.

"When humanity discovered the mass relays we learned that there was more to the galaxy then we could have ever imagined." He glanced over to Anderson, his gaze accusatory. "There were some who thought that the relays should be destroyed. They were scared of what we would find. Terrified of what we'd let in." This time he turned to Shepard. "But look at what humanity has achieved! Since that last discovery, we've advanced more than the past ten-thousand years combined." He walked to stand between Anderson and Shepard, his fingertips pressing together in triangular formation. "And the Reapers will do the same for us again, a thousand fold. But…"

A dark fog painfully seeped in around the edges of Shepard's vision, twisting her mind to hear and see things that she did not want to. "…Only if we can harness their ability to control." Shepard felt her arm rise without her control, her pistol pointing threateningly at Anderson.

No, you can't shoot him! Anderson has helped you… Helped us, so much over the years. Not even being under The Illusive Man's influence can justify you shooting him. Fight this! Fight him! Shepard's own thoughts were telling her to stop. To drop the pistol, but she couldn't. The Illusive Man's hold was tight and unforgiving. His wishes and commands became her actions. She had become his weapon.

The Illusive Man placed his hand against her raised forearm, almost as if he was making sure that any shot she fired was going to hit the Admiral.

"Bullshit!" Shepard felt her jaw clench at Anderson's protests. A large part of her just wanted the man to shut up so as not to anger the man controlling her. How would she live with herself knowing she killed the man who had been like a father to her? Who had been a father to her? "We destroy them, or they destroy us."

"And waste an opportunity? Never." The Illusive Man was resolute in his belief that they needed to control the Reapers. There was obviously no solid way to sway him. So why won't you just shut up? Shepard could not help but get angry. Anderson was literally signing his own death warrant.

"You are playing with something you don't understand. With power you shouldn't be able to use." She found it hard to talk, but she needed to save Anderson from himself.

The Illusive Man swung around, what was left of his eyebrows furrowing in frustration. Why is she being so flippant? Why can't Shepard just accept her fate? "I don't believe that. If we can control it, why shouldn't it be ours?"

Shepard snorted. "That's Cerberus' motto, isn't it?" When the man went to protest Shepard cut him off. "Miranda told me about the control chip." It was The Illusive Man's turn to snort now.

Taking a few steps closer, he locked eyes with Shepard. "If you recall; I was the one who stopped her from installing it."

Shepard glared back at him, everything in her body yelling to end him now. The sensation only served to aggravate her when she remembered that she couldn't actually move. "It doesn't matter. The option to control me should not have been on the table to begin with. Some part of you must have at least considered it."

The Illusive Man crossed his arms over his chest again. "A large part of me entertained the idea, I must admit. But I quickly came to the conclusion that controlling you that way would have been too obvious. We promised Doctor T'soni that we would restore you as you were. If anyone would have been able to notice that we had altered you in any way; it would have been her. And I have no doubts that she would let her distaste in our methods clear to us. We simply could not take that risk with someone with her connections. It became clear that we made the correct choice when she became the Shadow Broker. We tracked the Normandy and discovered that you had made repeated journeys to the Sowilo system and you always remained in the same place, sometimes for hours. Eventually we became curious. I sent a few of my operatives to the Sowilo system, around Hagalaz. And what did they discover?"

When Shepard's mouth twisted into a snarl The Illusive Man simply grinned and continued on as if this wasn't affecting Shepard at all, when in reality she had an inferno building inside, ready to break free and burn everything it possibly could. Namely; The Illusive Man himself.

"However, before we could attack the Broker's base and claim it for ourselves; Dr. T'soni decided that it would be a good idea to collide the base with one of our cruisers… Destroying all of the information we could of used to help us learn more about gaining control of the Reapers." Shepard couldn't help but smirk at that.

Liara was as smart and resourceful as ever.

Shepard still could not fight the building anger that was rushing through her veins, though. The thought of someone even thinking about hurting Liara was enough to set Shepard's rage alight.

"Regardless of all of that, however, this is the way humanity must evolve."

Shepard could see Anderson getting ready to argue back out of the corner of her eye. Please don't, Anderson… Earth is going to need you after all of this.

"There is always another way."

The Illusive Man turned on Anderson. Shepard's digit started to twitch against the trigger, the only thing holding it back was her rage. Keep a hold of that, it is the only thing stopping you right now. Memories of the now dead Kai Leng stealing the prothean VI right from under their noses and killing Thane only bolstered her resolve.

The Illusive Man became slightly confused when he felt Shepard resisting his hold, but he continued, dismissing Shepard's reluctance as his own fault for not pressing hard enough. "I have dedicated my life to understanding the Reapers, and I know with certainty: the Crucible will allow me to control them." His dead eyes stared off into the distance, as if he was contemplating something.

"And then what?" Shepard ground out. So far she had only been able to shift her arm a few inches, drawing the target away from Anderson's chest and onto his shoulder. It isn't good enough. You need to stall this crazy bastard until you can be sure that there is no chance you will shoot Anderson. "The Reapers possess a power that most can't even imagine. What exactly do you plan on doing with it?" As she finished her sentence the gun passed over Anderson's shoulder. At least now he isn't in as much danger. I just need to get rid of this crazy bastard now.

"I will use that power to my advantage. Just look at what they can do!" The Illusive Man clenched his fist, a blue glow emanating around it. Shepard resisted all she could, but it was not enough. The gun in her hand fired. She was just thankful that she had been able to avoid shooting Anderson in the process.

It was at this moment that The Illusive Man let his guard down, thinking that he had won. And it was also during this moment when Shepard turned the pistol on him, firing a round off into his leg which caused him to collapse in a heap.

"The Reapers have changed you, can't you see that?" Shepard limped over to him, her gun pointing at his face just in case.

The Illusive Man shook his head. They didn't change me! I was destined to change them! "No, I took what I wanted from them! Made it my own!" He grimaced as his hands searched helplessly for the bullet wound in his shin. The pain was messing with his ability to control, to guide. This would not do! "This isn't about me or you. It's about things bigger than all of us!"

Anderson stepped forward, his own weapon aimed at the prone man upon the floor. "You are wrong, we won't listen to you."

The Illusive Man snorted again, his head hanging in despair. Stop being weak! Convince them of the truth. Let them see the light. When all he could do was hiss in pain the voice turned on him. You are not worthy of control. You are weak. "Are you going to listen to the withered old soldier, or are you going to see the light, Shepard?" Anderson tightened his grip upon the weapon, much to The Illusive Man's amusement. "He can only see the world down the barrel of a gun-" He trailed off into a groan as Anderson kicked him in the shin, his boot hitting the gunshot wound head on. "W-what if he is wrong, Shepard? What if controlling the Reapers is the answer?" Shepard could see that he was in pain. No matter how much she despised him; the rightful thing to do would be to end his pain. She could not, though. She needed to at least attempt to talk him down.

"If we destroy the Reapers, this ends today. If you can't control them-"

"But I can!"

"Are willing to bet humanities existence on it?" That question seemed to catch him off guard. The Illusive Man began to clutch at his frantically shaking head.

"I know it will work." He sounded more like he was trying to convince himself of that.

Maybe pain dims the Indoctrination process? It certainly did a similar thing with Benezia… Although she did say she kept a part of her mind locked away so she could still help in the event that she became indoctrinated.

"You can't be certain, can you? They won't let you."

He suddenly looked up, his eyes wild and worried. "No!" He pointed an accusing digit at Shepard. "I am in control. No one is telling me what to do-"

"Listen to yourself!" Anderson interjected. "You're. Indoctrinated."

The Illusive Man tried to get back to his feet, but the pain simply forced him back down. "No," This time he pointed at Anderson. "No! The two of you so self-righteous. Do you think power like this comes easy? There are sacrifices…"

"You sacrificed too much!" Shepard interrupted him this time. "Think about all of the times you needlessly slaughtered people to further your own cause. The Akuze incident, all of the scientists you turned into husks, even Admiral Kahoku. How do you live with yourself knowing you did all of that for a pointless cause?"

"I was only trying to protect humanity. The Crucible can control them. I know it can. I just…" He started muttering to himself as he thought of something new. "I just need a chance." Shepard's eyebrows furrowed sharply. It almost sounded like a plea.

"It isn't too late. Give up on your idea. We'll do the rest."

"I can't let go, Shepard. My way is the right way. Just because you two cannot believe it, it does not make it wrong." His fist started to glow blue as he summoned his biotics forth.

"Of course you can't let go. The Reapers own you now." Anderson took a step back, his eyes urging Shepard to follow his lead.

Again; The Illusive Man attempted to scrabble to his feet, this time meeting some measure of success. He limped forward, biotically snagging Anderson's pistol out of his grip. "You would undo everything I have accomplished. I can't let that happen… I won't let that happen." She could see how on edge he was. All it would take was a few more pushes. She felt terrible for using this tactic. She had convinced Saren to do the same. To put the gun to his head and pull the trigger. Convincing people to commit suicide was not how she wanted to remember herself, but it had to be done.

"You already have. Because of you, humanity is already undone." And so it begins…

The Illusive Man clutched his head again. Almost as if he was wrestling with his internal demons right in front of them. It was surprisingly disconcerting. "That's not true-"

"They have the Citadel! They have us fighting each other instead of fighting them!"

"I just need to-"

"You've done exactly what the Reapers wanted. You are still doing it because they are controlling you."

The inside of The Illusive Man's head was a mess. All loud noises and harsh whispers. He caught the words; failure and pathetic repeatedly. He felt his mind twisting in every direction, the pain it caused was nearly unbearable. "I… They're too strong." He lifted his hands to his head again. The brush of the pistol's cold metal against his temple was unusually soothing.

Shepard lowered her own weapon before taking a cautious step towards the man. "You're stronger. Don't let them win. Break their hold. Do not let them control you."

The orders were flooding in from everywhere. He could faintly hear Shepard guiding him on what to do. Inside; he could hear the Reapers also telling him what to do and how to finish it. He could not deal with this for much longer. He felt as though his brain was going to melt.

"I tried, Shepard…" He lifted the pistol up to his temple, throwing Shepard one last look before he tugged the trigger, officially ending his life.

Shepard felt her whole body heat up as she dropped to her knees. His face… That was guilt. A plea for forgiveness. She knew that The Illusive Man's methods were barbaric and disgraceful, but that look on his face… It was a look that had firmly imprinted itself upon her already scarred soul.

"Shepard?"

She peeled her eyes off of The Illusive Man's dead body to see Anderson standing before her, holding out his hand. "Come on. We need to activate those arms." She gave a solemn nod as she took his hand. She felt him pull her to her feet and give her a gentle nudge towards the panel.

When did everything become so awful? Everywhere I go I leave a trail of bodies behind me, most of which happen to my friends. Shepard was unfocused… Uncaring as she tapped in the familiar sequence of numbers and letters that would open the arms for them. She thought about Liara. She didn't know why, but she just felt a whole lot better with an image of Liara in her mind.

The guilt came quickly after that. Sam. She loved the woman, she really did, but with Liara… With Liara it was on a completely different plain. Her world had been revolutionised when she first met Liara, but she dared not admit how she felt. And then it had been too late. The Normandy had been attacked by creatures unknown and she had ended up dead.

That was going to be the day I told her.

Shepard had set it all up. She did her rounds. Filled out her reports. Made sure Joker was happy. Last stop; the med lab. She got halfway through the mess hall before the first explosion rocked the ship.

That's when 'last stop med lab' turned into last stop forever.

She hated it after that. Waking up day after day and not being able to just go and see her favourite asari in the galaxy. Not being able to just stroll into the cramped little lab at the back of the ship and share a laugh and talk with her best friend. Shepard needed a good talk… She needs a good talk.

Unrequited love sucks…

Shepard had been preparing herself to tell Liara how she felt, but she never expected Liara to return those feelings. Shepard grinned to herself, her grip tightening upon the podium for support. She could imagine how kind Liara would be about it. She would probably tell Shepard how she wanted them to stay good friends, and that she wouldn't tell another soul about her confession. She'd probably hug Shepard if it became too much, probably hold her hand too.

I miss you so much, Liara, it actually hurts.

None of this mattered anymore, though. Liara had Feron. Lucky bastard. She knew that is how it would end. The guy always gets the girl, right? Even if he was a particularly stupid drell… Shepard had seen the way Liara's eyes had lit up when she gave her the data on the Shadow Broker. She also remembered the vulnerability there is well.

It is about Feron. He is still alive!

Shepard felt the same dagger in her heart now as she did then. She knew that Feron helped Liara to get her body back. She knew that he sacrificed himself so that Liara could escape safely. As heartless and selfish as it seemed; none of that mattered anymore. Feron took Liara away from her.

Don't be pathetic. You never 'had' Liara to begin with.

Shepard did not care about what her brain thought. She wanted to be with Liara. She wanted to give the asari everything she had. She smirked as she thought on that a little more.

You'll give her infinitely more than Feron ever could. With a smirk and hardened resolve, Shepard pushed herself away from the podium. Screw Feron, Liara is my girl!

"It's quite a view, isn't it?" Anderson came up beside her, giving her a careful pat upon the back. Both of them looked out onto earth. It was beautiful. Despite the war and the death. This is what so many were fighting for, Shepard was too, but she had more to lose now.

Shepard winced as she turned to sit down, her back leaning against part of the raised floor. Anderson quickly followed suit, sitting beside her. "Best seats in the house." She heard Anderson chuckle quietly before trailing off.

"God… It feels like years since I just sat down." He craned his neck to look over at Shepard. She is barely holding in there. "I bet it is the same for you, isn't it?" When she did not reply, he looked over at her again, nudging her slightly.

"Mmm."

"I think you and I both deserve it, though." He could not deny that. He could feel his body getting more and more weary with every breath he took. His head lulled forwards, the tiredness beginning to get the better of him.

"Stay with me. We are almost through this."

"You did good, child… You did good. I'm… Proud of you."

"Thank you, Sir." When there was no response, Shepard looked over to him. "Anderson?"

She didn't have time to check if he was okay. She felt herself begin to slip into the blackness as well. So much pain. Too much pain. Need… Sleep.

*Shepard. Commander!*

Why wouldn't they just let her be? There was not one single time in her entire life where she had slept without someone or something waking her up. When she was younger, it was either the authorities telling her to move along or it was someone trying to attack her. In the Alliance it was always 'up early, get the job done'. Waking up at 5:00AM just so she could fill out reports or do her exercises. Cerberus was the same, only she had an AI to yell at her if she refused to get out of bed. Now it was not as simple. No. Now every night she would wake up covered in sweat, breath ragged and uneven because of nightmares. Sam was there to comfort her most of the time, but it did not really help. Every time she closed her eyes she saw that little boy burning. The vision was engrained on the inside of her eyelids.

"I… What do you need me to do?" Shepard struggled for a while, eventually getting herself into a position where she could stand up. She couldn't stand, though. She put her weight on her legs and pushed herself up, but her ankle just gave way, her body tumbling uselessly back down to the ground.

*Nothing is happening. The Crucible isn't firing. It has to be something on your end.*

Shepard did not reply. She was too busy attempting to claw her way over to the podiums panel. Bloodied digits slid against the metal surface as she tugged herself ever closer to her target.

*Commander Shepard!*

Shepard let out a weak whine as she pushed herself up to reach the interface. "I don't see- I'm not sure how to…"

Blackness.

Shepard was gone before her head even hit the ground.

*Commander!*

Shepard didn't know what happened after that. One minute she was talking with Hackett and the next some sort of… Holographic child was telling her to wake up. She did as he asked and quickly got to her feet.

The pain?

The pain had vanished. Her cuts still bled and her bones still creaked, but she did not feel a thing. It was a blessing, really. She was talking. She did not feel like she was, but she was. Shepard did not know what to think. Where the hell am I? The holographic child told her that they were both on the Citadel, which only served to confuse Shepard more. This doesn't look like the Citadel to me…

"Who are you?" Shepard was breathless. All around her she could see the war. Reapers flew by yet they paid neither her or the boy any attention. Am I dead?

"I am the Catalyst." This isn't right. The Citadel was the Catalyst, not this… Stupid kid!

"I thought The Citadel was the Catalyst."

"No. The Citadel is a part of me."

A nearby Reaper unleashed its beam upon a row of turian cruisers, soundlessly destroying them all. None of this mattered right now! People were dying. She needed to end this once and for all.

"I need to stop the Reapers. Do you know how I can do that?" Maybe it wasn't wise to get frustrated at a person she did not even believe to be real. She could not help it, though. There was a lot to be angry about.

"Perhaps. I control the Reapers. They are my solution."

Shepard could not believe what she was hearing. How was destroying half of the known galaxy a solution to anything? "A solution to what?"

"Chaos."

She was enraged. She would not show it. For the sake of the galaxy's safety she kept it bottled up. She could not focus on what he was saying after that. She was taking it in, somehow. She just did not want to hear why this all happened. Why so many died as part of a pointless 'solution'. Some of her closest friends included. The child spoke about the Reapers, telling Shepard about their goal. The child also told her about the Reapers' origin. It spoke about how their creators were turned into the first Reaper and it sickened Shepard just to think about it.

Then he finally offered her a new solution. A way to end it all. Shepard could destroy them all, but in doing so she would destroy all other synthetic life, too.

EDI. The Geth. The mass relays. Everything, even herself apparently.

It was a high price, but it was one she was willing to pay if it meant ending the suffering of trillions.

Then there was Synthesis.

She could give up her own life… Add her energy to that of the Crucibles. Everything that made Shepard who she was would be absorbed and sent out, altering all synthetic life to give them what all organic life had. It would also give organics what the synthetics had. Their knowledge, their ability to calculate automatically, almost everything.

Lastly; there was control.

Shepard immediately shot that idea down as soon as the child mentioned it. She refused to become like The Illusive Man. She wouldn't follow his idea. She couldn't.

"You must make your decision." The Catalyst took a step back from her. Observing her as she weighed up her options.

The bottom line was that Shepard wanted peace. There could be no peace so long as the Reapers existed. People such as Cerberus would rise up again and would easily try to control them. If not that then the Reapers would somehow end up attacking everyone again. Shepard could not take that risk.

All of the options ended with her death. She shouldn't have been surprised by that. Half of her thought dying for a worthy cause was okay. She would have achieved her goal and could then lie in peace. The other half of her just couldn't do that. She needed to stay alive and help with the rebuilding efforts. It was selfish just to leave everyone to fix a mess that she felt was partially her responsibility. She didn't know though, maybe her opinion would change.

Synthesis.

Destroy.

Those were really the only options here. The Geth, EDI and every other synthetic (except for her) could live on if she chose to synthesise with them and she was happy with that. On the other hand; the Reapers would still be around, and that was something she could not accept.

Destroy it is then.

She began walking towards the red contraption on the far right. This is it Dexter. I hope you've made peace with yourself. When she got closer, she felt an odd sense of distress wash over her.

*Bang*

I haven't made peace with myself.

*Bang*

And I hate myself for it.

*Bang*

But at least I haven't burdened anyone.

*Bang*

What about Sam?

*Bang*

I adore Sam…

*Bang*

What about Liara?

The glass shattered, the metal beneath it exploding, making her stumble back slightly, but she pressed forwards.

*Bang*

I love Liara.

The whole piece of machinery exploded outwards, enveloping her in flames.

This is it Shepard. You'll still have time to make peace with yourself.

What?

There was nothing else. Her whole world went dark. She felt numb and cold. Like she was falling. It was painless and she wasn't afraid. She was just confused. Who the hell said that?

I know I promised you this last time, but I forgot about this part so I had to add it in. Anyway; the next chapter will be much shorter. This time I honestly swear by that. Thanks for reading!