A/N: My loves! This is gonna sound super cliché, but it's true, I was not expecting the response this got! I swear, I didn't expect to get a review, let alone so many, and all so positive! Well, except one, but in light of that amount of good things one bad review doesn't really matter. Thank you so much for your support!

All of you expressed wanting to see where this is headed, I have to be honest, I have some sort of plot planned out, but it can change at any time, I like to let the characters guide the story, so we'll see what happens together! Also, flashbacks are in italics. Enjoy!

Shadows of Remembrance

"If little by little you stop loving me, I shall stop loving you little by little…" Pablo Neruda

Chapter 1

As they sat together, neither could help the flashbacks. For so long, so many other things had happened in their lives, that this part of it, the part that involved the other, was left in a box in their brains. It was reopened sometimes, but neither let themselves dwell on a memory too long, because as happy as said memory might be, the hurt it left them with when they remembered how the story ended was too much to bear. But now, with the opportunity to end the story for good in sight, they had to remember, they had to open the box, how could they not?

Amelia's family didn't talk to her, they stopped talking to her when she overdosed and had to be brought back to life. Granted, she went to rehab and graduated from Harvard, but no one uttered a word to her. Mark, unlike them, was with her every step of the way, he visited her in rehab and he was the one she called when she felt she was losing her mind in college, and she was the one he called when he had a bad day at work, or when he fought with Derek, which happened when any of them brought her up in conversation, yet, Derek always thought that, even though Mark defended her, he didn't talk to her. So, when she went back to New York to star her internship, she did it in another hospital, she vowed to make someone of herself without her family, she was going to show them just how capable she was, and if she accepted a program in the hospital where they all worked at, they would forever say that she did well because of them. Of course, she talked endlessly about her decision with Mark, and during one of their last phone calls before she left for New York he told her to move in with him, when she asked him for a reason he said that rent in New York City was expensive, it went without saying that he didn't trust her living alone. The first few moths they barely saw each other, what with their insane hours and the fact that she worked downtown while he worked uptown, but about 7 months into their living arrangements Amelia got home one evening, after working a double shift, to find Mark standing in the living room, all dressed up and watching something on the TV as he put on cologne. She put her bag in the kitchen counter and said "Hey, going somewhere?"

Mark turned to her surprised, he hadn't heard her entering the apartment, frankly, he almost forgot that she lived here too, he hadn't seen her in days, they texted all the time, but it almost felt like she was in Massachusetts, not here in New York with him. So, of course he was happy to see her and it showed all over his face, he said "Hey. I missed your face, you know?" as he got closer to her. Amelia smiled sheepishly at him, it was so endearing to him. She looked so beautiful, her hair was in a messy bun, she was still dressed in her scrubs, and a leather jacket was the only thing guarding her from the cold that filled New York in September. It was in that moment that he realized that all he wanted was right in front of him. He was supposed to go out with some girl Derek and Addison wanted him to date, apparently they wanted to double date or some crap like that, but he didn't want to go, not with Amelia here with him, which made him realize that that was also the reason why he stopped sleeping around, at first he thought that it was because Amelia lived with him, but she had told him that she wouldn't interfere with his manwhoring ways and he wasn't one to be ashamed of a hookup, but now he knew. He couldn't bear to be with any woman because there was only one woman he wanted.

Amelia was confused, what was it with that stupid smile on his face? She felt her heart drop to her stomach when she thought that maybe he looked so happy because he was going out with someone he liked, maybe he was dating someone. With despair, she realized that she didn't want him to, she wanted him for her, how did she not realize it sooner? Of course, in classic Amelia fashion, she made sense of her feelings when it was too late, when he was already happy with someone else. She tried to mask her sadness and discomfort, and said "You look hot. Got a date?" as she occupied herself in filling a glass with water, she couldn't look at him in the eyes, he'd know something was wrong, and this time she couldn't talk about it with him. Yep, she needed some girl friends.

Mark leaned against the counter, he could see her getting jealous, she though he didn't notice, but he knew her. He could've laughed at the situation if he wasn't so enamored with the sight of her in that exact moment. He replied "No. Everything I want is right here"

Amelia looked up at him with wide eyes, she set the glass and the water on the table and, as she pointed at him and herself, stammered "You… Uh. I… You…"

Mark got closer to her, grabbed her by the waist, and breathed "Tell me I'm not the only one feeling this way"

Amelia's face filled with relief and joy, as she shook her head and a smile took over her face, she grabbed his face in her hands and kissed him as if her life depended on it. She was intoxicated with happiness and desire.

Mark couldn't even speak, he felt like a silly teenager who had just kissed a girl for the first time, he was defenseless in her presence. All he could do was kiss her again, and again, and again. Slowly, the hunger from a few minutes ago vanished and they kissed each other tenderly, taking in the other completely.

Amelia forced herself to stop thinking about that night, she sat up straight on the couch and blinked so that the tears wouldn't fall. Then, she stood up, grabbed the plates and the glasses and headed to the sink. Mark barely registered the fact that she moved, the arm that was holding her fell at his side, he was immersed in a memory of his own.

It was March 2005 and Mark returned home to an empty apartment, he had expected it, but it still felt like someone had knocked the air out of his body. Yet, he couldn't blame Amelia for leaving, after all, she had found him in bed with Addison almost an hour ago. It sounded like such a cliché thing to say, that he didn't mean to hurt her, but he didn't, he had never loved anyone like he loved her, but a few months shy of their 5th anniversary things weren't right between them. The previous year she started talking to her siblings again, and even though they never stopped judging her, it was nice being able to see her nieces and nephews, and spend a Sunday in her childhood home surrounded by them. Mark could see how happy it made her being able to spent time with her family, but no one knew they were together, Nancy would ask about his conquests and they would have to leave their rings in the apartment, they couldn't be seen arriving or leaving together and they couldn't behave as a couple when they were with the family. That's when the problems started, Amelia didn't want to tell them and he did, they both had solid arguments in their favor, he wasn't going to deny that, but at the time he couldn't help but feel that she was ashamed of him, when in reality she was ashamed of herself, she didn't want her family to know that they were together and confirm her suspicions that she wasn't good enough for him, that she was just a child and he deserved a real woman, her demons started eating her up and she couldn't stop them, she started isolating herself from him, devoting more and more time to work, in order to stop the thoughts from getting to her, but she only made it worse. For his part, Mark was so engrossed in believing that she was ashamed of him that his own demons awakened, thoughts about his parents leaving him in care of the nanny because they didn't love him appeared again, thoughts of being a disappointment plagued him, his self worth practically disappeared.

It started innocent enough, Amelia was off somewhere avoiding him, or rather, lost in her own head, and Addison called him to vent about Derek. After a few phone calls he started going to his best friends' house to talk to the redhead, reassure her Derek still loved her, and go back to his own Shepherd. Until one day Addison kissed him and he couldn't say no, he was so damn tired of everything going on with Amelia, and this woman sitting in front of him wanted him. But of course, in a sick twist of fate, Amelia decided to visit Addison that exact day and found them in the middle of their second round. He would never forget the look on her face when she saw them, it was as if she had seen a ghost, her whole complexion paled and in her eyes he saw his own look of realization reflected, it had come to this. Neither thought they were that bad, but it took a betrayal such as this to make them get out of their heads and understand what they were losing. Addison grabbed a shirt and ran to Amelia, she begged her not to tell Derek, and he remembered, Addie didn't know Amelia and him were married, he heard Amelia promise Addison that she wouldn't tell anyone and left, but not without giving him one last look of hurt as tears threatened to fall from her eyes. So, no, he wasn't surprised to arrive to an empty house. She left him, and he deserved it.

Mark was brought back to reality due to the sound of a knock on the door, as he stood up to get it he noticed that Amelia was already on her way to open it. Once she did, they both saw Callie and Sofia standing there. Callie looked at Amelia and said "Oh! You're Shepherd's sister, right?-"

Callie was interrupted by Sofia, who looked up at her and said "Mom, she's auntie Amy" as if it was something obvious that her mom should already know.

Callie was caught of guard for a second until she remembered that Mark was really close to Amelia and he often told Sofia about her or if he was on the phone with Amelia he would have Sofia talk to her. She made a mental note to talk to Mark about his closeness with this Shepherd, but now she had to go, so she nodded at Sofia with wide eyes and replied "Of course! How could I forget?" Then she looked at Amelia and Mark and told them "Arizona's on-call and I've been paged 911"

Amelia smiled reassuringly at Callie "Go, we'll take care of this princess" she then kneeled down to Sofia's level, grabbed her hands, put on the biggest smile she could muster given the circumstances, and said "Want to make cookies, sweetie?" to which Sofia nodded eagerly. Callie kissed her goodbye and left.

As soon as Callie left Sofia ran over to her dad, she had the biggest smile on her face as she yelled "Daddy!"

Mark had to admit, his daughter was his greatest joy, it didn't matter what mood he was in, she always made him feel better. Sofia was perfect, he finally had something to be proud of. He scooped her up in his arms and kissed her cheek before saying "How's daddy's little girl?"

At that, Sofia pouted, her brow furrowed, and she said "I'm not little!" then, she turned to Amelia and said "Tell him, auntie Amy!"

Amelia's smile didn't leave her face, Sofia was such an amazing child, and she was extremely proud of the dad Mark had become. Despite their complicated history, if he was happy, she was. She put on a stern look on her face and pointed a finger at Mark jokingly "Mark, Sofia is not little" she waited a few seconds, got closer to them, and as she tickled Sofia, added "She's tiny!" what followed was a shriek of laughter coming from Sofia. It was like music to the adults' ears, who laughed alongside her. That was the thing about Mark and Amelia, even if their history was filled with hurt, they still managed to maintain some sense of normalcy between them. If someone used to be your everything you couldn't just forget that and act like nothing happened. That's why they were so comfortable with the other despite their past, a relationship like theirs didn't just end, it just had bad moments and good moments. Yes, it made everything more complicated, but that was their normal.

They had just finished putting the cookies in the oven and were sitting in front of theT.V. watching Frozen when Amelia's phone rang, she stood up and fished it out of her bag, seeing it was Derek she answered "What do you want?" as she raised an eyebrow. Derek never called her, and the fact that she was in Seattle made her think that he needed something, and she wasn't wrong, Derek told her that he had been paged 911 to the hospital but he was rather occupied with Meredith, she immediately cut him off and whispered so Sofia wouldn't hear "Stop! I don't want to know about your sex life. Fine, I'll go, you better not complain next time I steal one of your surgeries" as tired as she was, she couldn't fight her instinct to run, and surgery was always the best option. Derek laughed, thanked her, and hung up. She turned to look at Mark, only to find him already looking at her, she scratched the back of her head, sighed and told him "Derek was paged but he asked me to go in for him"

Mark nodded, went to grab his car keys, and said "Here, take my car" as he handed them to her.

Amelia grabbed them as she looked him straight in the eyes, she knew they still had a lot to talk about, she just wished they didn't. They had had such a great time baking with Sofia that she wished things could be like that always, but she knew that that couldn't be and she couldn't bare the though of it any longer. She turned around and went over to Sofia, kneeled in front of her and said "Princess, I have to go"

Sofia's eyes watered, she was having so much fun with auntie Amy and daddy, she didn't want her to leave, her lip started trembling as she said "Do you have to?"

If you were close enough you could hear the sound of Amelia's heart breaking at that little face asking her to stay. She gave Sofia a sad smile and gently said "Yes, a patient needs me. But what do you say I make you waffles for breakfast tomorrow?"

Sofia looked at her for a few seconds without saying anything, and then a mischievous grin took over her features as she said "with chocolate chips?"

Amelia couldn't help but laugh "Of course with chocolate chips!" She then kissed Sofia's cheek and left.

When Amelia got to the ER she was met with Hunts' confused eyes "I thought I paged the other Shepherd"

Amelia smiled in amusement and said "I told you he needed me, didn't I?"

Owen raised an eyebrow and jokingly asked "Are you sure you didn't saw that he was paged and came here without telling him?"

Amelia gasped in fake surprise "Wow. You really think that poorly of me? Thanks a lot, Chief"

Owen raised his hands defensively and said "rather, that's how highly I think of you. And Shepherd, you can call me Owen" as a smile took over his face, he enjoyed messing with Derek's sister, she truly was a firecracker.

Amelia nodded as she pretended to think about what he said, then she answered "Well then Owen, you can call me Amelia. What do we have?"

As he handed her the CT scans, Owen said "The patient has a ruptured aneurysm, they're prepping her for surgery, Amelia"

Amelia held the scans in front of the ceiling light and was watching them, when a man, about 30 years old, ran next to her and Owen. The man was panting and had a panicked expression on his face, he said "Where is she? Where's Anne?!"

Owen was the one to speak "Sir, are you family of…" he checked the chart to see the patients' name "… Mrs. Anne Harris?"

The man nodded frantically "Yes, I'm Mike, I'm… She's-" He took a deep breath "She's my ex wife. Please tell me she's okay, her sister called me to tell me she was here. Please, I can't lose her, I love her too much." His eyes filled with tears as he uttered the last sentence.

Amelia swallowed the sudden lump that filled her throat before putting a hand on the man's arm and saying "Sir, I'm your wife's doctor. I'm gonna do everything in my power to help her, but you need to calm down, okay?"

Hunt had signaled a nurse to take Mike to the waiting area, he wiped a few tears and before he and the nurse left he looked at Amelia again and begged her "Please, I can't lose her. Not again"

It was 2 a.m. and Amelia had just told Mike that Anne was going to be okay, the way he hugged her compensated the fact that she was extremely tired. She was dying to crash in an on-call room, but she had promised breakfast to Sofia. Besides, it went without saying that the case hit a little too close to home. She felt so bad because the first person she thought of was Mark, and not her own fiancé, but at the same time she wasn't all that surprised, if she loved James unconditionally she wouldn't be here in Seattle. She decided not to add Ryan to the mix, it was way too complicated to figure out what she would've done regarding Mark had they gotten sober, what she remembered of the time with him was that she loved him, but then again, she spent the majority of that time high, she couldn't be sure what her feelings would've been without the drugs, of course she loved him, he was the father of her child, but she tried not to dwell on 'what ifs'. Those were the thoughts that plagued her as she drove to Mark's place. Once she got there, she went to Sofia's room, she couldn't help the smile that graced her lips when she saw the girl sleeping peacefully in her bed, she was the spitting image of her mom, but she slept in the exact same position Mark did, her mannerisms resembled Mark's to a T, she really was her father's daughter and that notion tugged at her hearstrings a little. But again, she didn't dwell on 'what ifs' it was pointless to think about what her children with Mark would've looked like. On the way to the apartment she decided that she would grab a blanket an sleep on the couch, she stayed in scrubs because her clothes were at Derek's and she didn't feel like sleeping in jeans, but when she went to check on Mark, her heart fell to her stomach when she didn't saw him in bed, she turned on the lights and saw one of his shirts and a pair of sweats on the bed, he must've let the clothes for her, but where was he? She went to the living room and found him sleeping in what seemed to be a painful position on the couch, she had completely missed him when she entered the apartment, she went back to the bedroom, changed, turned off the lights and went back to the living room, she kneeled next to Mark and caressed his hair softly as she whispered "Mark, let's go to bed"

Mark opened his eyes groggily and sat up on the couch, he rubbed his face and looked at her confused, he asked "Amy?"

Amelia shushed him in response, she grabbed his hand and led him towards the bedroom, they pulled back the covers and got under them. Amelia moved closer to Mark, who lied on his chest, and encircled him with her arm as she rested her head on his back. Finally, after a very long day, she fell asleep with the comfort of having Mark next to her. She wouldn't admit it, but that was exactly what she needed.

A/N: This is a little short, I know, but I really wanted to publish a new chapter. Sooooo, what did you guys think about the flashbacks? Want more?Also, yes, I'm toying a little with Omelia, I still don't know what's gonna be end-game, but expect a lot of Mark/Amelia and some Slexie and Omelia.