My Friend Is A Wall
Rufus is another resident in the Sieghart Mansion. He is the oldest of his siblings. His red eyes and pure pale skin was a treasure to many. But you see, Rufus, is not normal! Wait, that applies for everyone else too! Well, Rufus you see is a very sad boy. He hardly has any friends because of his good looks which clearly proves there is some kind of problem already! And that is why Ley and Sieghart often gets worried for him. Especially, right about now….
"How are you today?"
"…."
"I see you're fine! Well, last night was pretty good. Dreamt of some really odd stuff!"
"…."
"You too!"
"…."
"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
From a far, Sieghart and Ley was watching. Their adopted son was talking to the wall in their living room again.
"I'm getting worried for him, Sieg. He is a healthy boy and all but he seems to be talking to a wall…" Ley looked at Sieghart with concerned.
"Probably he is talking to our neighbours next door?" Sieghart defended his own son.
"BUT THERE ARE NO NEIGHBOURS NEXT DOOR! THIS IS THE ONLY FRIGGIN BUILDING IN THE MIDDLE OF NO WHERE!" Ley exclaimed.
"Really? Wow! I didn't know!" Said Sieghart. He received a keyboard in the mouth.
"You've lived here for 600 years, longer than any of us and you don't know!" Ley seemed to think that her husband to be was an idiot. In which he was!
"BOOBIES!" Sieghart received a Hi-Fi set down his throat.
Ley approached her son, Rufus. And slowly gave him a pat on the shoulder. She looked at him and he looked at her. There was a moment of silence between the two. Then Rufus dived down. Down onto her….
….BOOBIES!
Ley took a knife and stabbed Rufus in the back. Rufus is now dead. Wait! We can't end it like that! Not when the main character is in trouble! Rufus had a backup plan however! It seemed he used Kage Bunshin No Jutsu and that was one of his clones! Genius desu!
"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ALL THE MEN IN THIS FAMILY! ALSO STOP USING OTHER MOVESETS OUT OF GRANDCHASE! WE MIGHT GET COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENTS !"
Sorry, couldn't help it…
In any case, it was troubling watching their son, Rufus talk to the wall. I mean. What was wrong with talking to a wall? I don't see much of a problem right? When I was younger I used to talk to walls a lot. Kind of. Wait, what am I saying here?
So Rufus continued his very interesting conversation with the wall. It seems they were talking about girls and cookie jars. Sieghart couldn't really care less. Ley was a wee bit worried about her son. And so she decided to visit the person closest to Rufus.
The Wall!
"I can't believe I'm doing this…." She said as she stood facing one wall of the living room. She took a chair and sat down for a moment.
"So how are you today?" She said. And the wall's response was.
"…"
"I see, you aren't one to talk right?" She asked politely.
"Oh, sorry I was having some snacks so I didn't notice you there." It answered!
"Wait! You can talk!" Ley exclaimed.
"Of course I can talk!" the wall replied. It was like Ley was going crazy.
"So what is wrong with my son? Rufus!" She asked.
"Huh? Don't know. Don't care. I'm going to have some cookies now." It responded. It's response was too familiar! Too familiar! Ley smashed the wall open. It was the wall connecting the kitchen and living room. Sieghart was getting his hand stuck in the cookie jar.
"Honey! My hand is stuck in the cookie jar again!" Sieghart would be stuck in the washing machine the rest of the day, so it didn't really matter anyways.
"Let me out!" Sieghart pleaded as he struggled to open the lid of the washing machine. Ley couldn't really care less. "Why not you try calling his brother!" He shouted again. Ley took note of this.
"You mean the debt collectors? I really hate contacting the Grand Chase, they've destroyed almost all of my friends' place just cause they were late for their rent or something."
"But it's your only chance! And let me out already! I have important business to attend to!"
"Like what?"
"Eating cookies!"
Sieghart was left there for the rest of the day.
Ley on the other hand picked up the phone and started to dial the number to the Grand Chase.
"Hello. Thank you for choosing The Grand Chase! Press one for English. Press two for French. Press three for Italian. Press four for Chinese. Press five for Malay."
"1"
"For Rent and Dept inquiries press one. For storming castles to beat up bosses press two. For your credit card usage billing press three. For contacting to one of our service providers press four."
"4"
"Thank you for choosing The Grand Chase. We are currently directing your line to our main call center. Please hold while we do."
"…."
"Please note that all calls are recorded for quality and survey purposes. We are now directing you to the main call center. Please hold."
"…."
"Having problems with your car tyres? No problem! Just get insurance today. With the wide variety of insurances we provide, it will not be a problem at all. Just choose your package and you are ready to go! Contact The Grand Chase for more inquires on the insurance for your car tyres!"
"…"
"Our line is still busy. Your estimated wait time is 1 minute 24 seconds."
"….."
"Ever felt like you need a vacation? Ever felt like you wanted to just let loose and go for a break. Well, now you can! We are offering trips to the Xenia continent where you will be treated like a king in the 5 star hotel 'The Temple of Cuatal'. Where we have furries there to comfort you! Packages vary from as low as 120 GP! Come and sign up today!"
"….."
"Thank you for waiting. Your call will now be directed."
"….."
"Hello?"
"Hello. I am here to enquire about some phone numbers."
"Yes Ma'am. What do you need to know?"
"In the Grand Chase there is a boy named Lass, I need to get a hold of him. Possibly can you give me his number or something."
"Ma'am, we are not allowed to give you our operator's numbers. Sorry."
"Lass, if you're the one talking here I'm just calling to say your brother is talking to walls again."
"WHAT! HE IS!"
"SO IT WAS YOU!"
"I'm just earning some part time cash, okay? So what is wrong with my brother again?"
"He is talking to walls."
"Not that again. Have you taken him to see a psychiatrist?"
"No…."
"Well, you probably need to. He is having his 'I just broke up with my girlfriend so I'm talking to my next one' syndrome. And we've seen it before, he somehow gets so demoralizes he wouldn't mind dating a wall."
"Wait, you mean he had a girlfriend?"
"Must be. The guy is way popular around Bermesiah."
"I see. Now I will have to whip him real good."
"Wait! He doesn't stand pain so good. Hello? Hellooo?"
"*toot* *toot* *toot*"
"Ah well."
And so after that day, Ley had finally concluded that her son was not a nut job. And also on that day, Rufus had eyes as red as blood. And that was how he got cured of his love sickness. From Ley's torture. The End!
Next time on Life In The Sieghart Mansion! We will explain the theories on how cow and jump over the moon in which I totally forgot in this chapter! Stay tuned!