Even though she knew what Jasmine had done, Vanessa still found herself wondering about her. She was a killer, the stories she had been told almost made it sound like she'd always had it in for Shane. Yet now she had met her she knew those stories couldn't be true. how could someone so quiet, so seemingly innocent want to do that to someone? It couldn't be true, she was certain of it.
A few days later after their first meeting Vanessa spotted Jasmine sitting in the corner of the cafe. She quickly paid for her coffee and sat opposite her. Jasmine looked up from her book for a moment as she sat down.
"Look, about before, I just wanted to say sorry." Vanessa said to her as an attempt to her get attention.
"Don't worry about it."muttered Jasmine, refusing to look up from her book.
"It's just that I've heard a lot about you and I didn't know what else to say." Vanessa continued.
"I bet you didn't." she replied, still avoiding looking at her.
Vanessa sighed, she was trying her best but it didn't seem like it would work. "I just want to say sorry."
"You really don't need to." Jasmine sighed and looked up at last. "I know you're just trying to be nice, but you don't want to be seen with someone like me."
Jasmine looked back down at her book. In all honesty, she felt sorry for Vanessa, she seemed like she genuinely wanted to apologise, but Jasmine knew that it wouldn't last long. She'd get sick of her eventually, be ashamed to be seen talking to her. After all, no one wants to be associated with a killer.
"Not everyone around here hates you, you know." Vanessa said quietly. "In fact, I don't think many people do at all."
"And how would you know?" replied Jasmine, dryly.
"Nobody thinks you're evil, we all know why you did it." Vanessa insisted, if there was one thing she couldn't stand it was people not liking her. As bad as it sounds, she was determined to get Jasmine on side no matter what it took.
Part of Jasmine wanted to believe what Vanessa was telling her, maybe they didn't hate her after all. But there was a part of her that kept insisting that they did, that they all thought she was evil. As far as Jasmine was aware she knew they all hated her. She knew what kind of stories had been told about her and she knew that people believed them. Vanessa was just trying to be nice because she pitied her, nothing more.
"I need to go." Jasmine said quietly as she put her book back into her bag and walked off.
"I'll see you around then." muttered Vanessa as she watched her walked out.
Just a few hours later Vanessa found another opportunity to try and talk to Jasmine, although it possibly wasn't the smartest way to attempt to get her to talk. As she saw Jasmine walk out of the local shop, she quickly looked down at the floor and began walking towards her. Intentionally, she bumped into her and looked up.
"Oh I'm sorry, I didn't see you there." Vanessa said as casually as she could manage.
"Don't worry about it." Jasmine muttered and tried to rush off as Vanessa placed a hand on her shoulder.
"Look, what is it with you?" sighed Vanessa. "Why are you so against people trying to talk to you?"
Jasmine rolled her eyes and turned around to face her. "Maybe I just like being alone, ever considered that?"
"And maybe some of us just want to help you." replied Vanessa sharply. "You are so defensive about everything and I just don't understand why. We all know what you did so why bother hiding it? What's the point?"
"What else do you expect me to do? Be proud that I'm a killer?" Jasmine snapped suddenly. "Stop pretending that you know me because you really don't."
No matter what she tried it seemed that Jasmine was determined to block out anyone who attempted to be kind to her. This was something that just didn't seem to make sense to Vanessa, if you'd been locked up for four years without seeing any of your friends or family surely you'd be welcoming anyone who tried to talk to you. Then again, how could someone who had never been in Jasmine's situation ever even begin to comprehend why she was acting like this? It seemed impossible to Jasmine that anyone would ever understand her like that again.
"You're right I don't know, but how can I when you won't even talk to me?" Vanessa said to her calmly. Despite Jasmine's slight anger she still felt like she was getting somewhere, after all at least they were having a proper conversation.
Why won't she just leave me alone? Jasmine thought to herself. "Look Vanessa, I don't need your help or your pity, okay?"
"Who said anything about pity? Maybe I just want to help someone out, is there something wrong with that?" She said to Jasmine. "There must be some way to get through to her." Vanessa muttered quietly. "What happened between you and Debbie?"
Jasmine glared at her. "That's none of your business."
"I'm not judging you about it, don't worry. I'm just curious." She said cautiously.
"I left her because she was sleeping with Andy." Jasmine admitted quietly and shrugged. "I should have expected it, I told her to move on."
"Wait, this was once you'd got back as well? Why would she do that?"
"I don't know, probably because he's not a killer and I am." Jasmine sighed and looked at the floor.
Vanessa frowned slightly. "Do you ever think about anything else? That's all you ever seem to talk about."
Of course it was all Jasmine thought about. Memories of that night had plagued her mind every day for the past four years. No matter how much she tried to distract herself with any means she could it was unavoidable, she would find her mind still being plagued with thoughts of Shane Doyle. It was even worse at night when she couldn't do anything apart from lay there and let the traumatic events play out continually in her head, only rarely stopping to play memories from her years in prison to have their turn.
She knew this wasn't fair on Vanessa, but how could she let someone trust her again after what she'd done? What if it happened again? Jasmine had seen a side of herself that night that she didn't even know existed. Once she'd began to hit him she didn't want to stop, it was like something- someone- else inside of her had taken over. It was like she wasn't herself anymore. That would be enough to make anyone scared of themselves.
"If they have decided to release you then you can't be evil, otherwise you would have been in there for life. You need to stop being so worried about everything and start to move on." Vanessa said softly and kept her eyes on her.
"It's not that easy." sighed Jasmine as she looked at the floor again. "I'm trying but it doesn't happen overnight."
"Maybe it would be easier if you let people help you out." Slowly, Vanessa moved towards Jasmine. Although, she had to be careful, it had taken a lot to even get to this stage. If she ruined it now it would have all have been for nothing.
As much as Jasmine hated to admit it, she hadn't wanted to refuse help for this long. In all honesty, she had secretly been hoping that Vanessa wouldn't give up from the very start. She was right, Jasmine did need someone. She had Ashley but he was no good, Laurel had moved on and now she was with Marlon, and then the other other person that she could consider would be Debbie but even Jasmine knew that it was no use to go back to her now.
"Fine. I give in. You've beaten me. I will let you help me." Jasmine said eventually and met Vanessa's eyes for the first time.
"So we're mates then?" Vanessa asked her as a smile crept onto her face.
Jasmine rolled her eyes at Vanessa's obvious excitement. "Yes, we're mates."
For the first time since she had returned to Emmerdale, Jasmine knew for sure that there was someone there for her and it was the best thing to happen to her for years.