May 2009

I pulled up in front of Jacob and Leah Black's house on the La Push Reservation. I was so thankful for my old friend, Jacob, and his wife. Since I had moved here 6 months ago to take care of Charlie, they had stepped in so willingly to help me with Nessie. I see now why Charlie loved this family so much. Charlie had stage 4 lung cancer. I had stayed away from Forks since Thanksgiving my senior year in high school. Charlie had been out several times to visit me and Nessie in Phoenix as I went through my nursing program. I had found out about Charlie's cancer and it was not a choice, but necessary to come out to live with him. I felt tremendously guilty for not having been here for him all these years. I recalled Charlie mentioning a year and a half before of the Cullen's move from Forks so I no longer had reason to stay away. I wanted to make sure Nessie and I got to spend quality time with Charlie before he…

It had been two months, now, since Charlie's passing. I could pack Nessie up and move to Florida to be near my Mom and Phil, but they were always traveling and the humidity of Florida never did appeal to me. I could move back to Phoenix, but there was still a danger with James…

June 2008

I was getting off shift at the Community Hospital that had been my home away from home during my nursing internship. As I approached my car I heard my name being called from behind so I turned to look to see who it was.

It was James, quickly approaching. He was tall and lean. His long blonde hair was slicked back into a ponytail. He smiled a cocky smile as I stopped and turned. His mom was a patient here. She was always in and out and had passed away earlier in my shift.

"Oh, hey, James," I started. "I'm really sorry for your loss." I saw his smirk change into a face that I thought meant to mock sorrow.

"Yeah, I'm just glad she's at peace, now," He said, softly. "But mostly I'm sorry I wont get to see you anymore." He added, smile returned to his face. He placed a hand on my shoulder and it sent a cold chill down my spine. I stepped backwards to release myself from his touch. He didn't seem to notice.

"So, I was wondering if you'd like to go out sometime," He said, taking a step towards me. This wasn't the first time he asked me out. I sighed and looked at him.

"I'm sorry, James. I'm not dating right now. You know that," I said, looking now at the ground. His gaze made me uncomfortable.

"I know, I know. You got a kid. That's no problem! I'm not one of those guys who cares. Just dinner, Bella," He pleaded. Damn, I should have told him I had a boyfriend. A big, burly boyfriend. But I sucked at lying.

"No, thank you, though, James. Listen, I have to get going, but good luck," I said, quickly turning on my heal to go. He grabbed my arm, hard and a surprised gasp escaped my lips. He pulled my closer to him and his face was furious.

"Why do you keep rejecting me," he asked through a clenched jaw. I was furious more than afraid. I looked hard into his eyes. "Let. Go. Of. Me," I said with a low voice. He released my arm and walked a step backwards, a huge smile on his face.

"You LIKE it rough," He laughed. I continued to glare at him.

"James, NEVER touch me again. I WILL call the police, do I make myself clear," I demanded. He laughed and then bowed in a sarcastic gesture. He turned and heading back towards the hospital.

I turned and got into my car. I felt tears swelling up in my eyes. A sob escaped my lips. Taking a deep breathe, I shook it off. I couldn't let Nessie see me like this. With another deep breathe, I started the car and headed to pick Nessie up.

May 2009

I pulled up the hospital in Forks. My decision in Charlie's passing was to stay. I loved it here. It harbored good memories. It was a place, thanks to the Cullen's, that I could go back to being a kid. Living with Renee was fun, but when I was with her, I took on more of the parent role. Summer's here meant being a kid, having fun, letting go. It felt right to raise Nessie here. I felt this was always, really, our home.

I was lucky enough to find a job in the ER. I had mostly regular hours which meant I could make a more normal life for Nessie. Leah would watch her for me during the day when I worked and Nessie loved it there. She also watched her niece, Ella, who was around Nessie's age. Seeing them together made me ache for my Alice.

Summer of 2004

I was nearly 18 and had never "needed" to be watched by Esme Cullen for some years, but that didn't keep me from spending nearly every waking hour at the Cullen's house with Alice. As I pulled up in front of their house for the first time that summer, Alice nearly knocked me over as she bounded towards me with open arms. I embraced her back, and we were both jumping up and down in excitement. She immediately withdrew her hug and held me out at arms length, clicking her tongue.

"What ARE you wearing," She said, looking me up and down. I shrugged and smiled at her. She had always been way more into fashion then I ever had. She pulled my arm and we entered the house. Emse came out of the kitchen and hugged me tightly.

"I've missed you, Bella," she said. She was so warm and motherly. I had missed her so much, myself.

"Okay, enough! You'll see her all summer, Mom! Let's go, Bella," She said, pulling me towards the stairs. As started to climb stairs, I heard another voice from the top and I blushed just hearing it.

"Why, hello, Bella," Edward said, smiling at me with his crooked smile. He smiled that smile, not knowing how it melted my heart.

"Hi-Hi, Edward. I didn't know- I thought that-" I stuttered. Pull yourself together, Swan, I thought. "It's good to see you," I finally got out. I smiled and put my eyes to the floor. I knew my face must be beat red with embarrassment. Alice huffed and then pulled me fast up the stairs and into her room.

She pulled me to her bed and sat down dramatically.

"Bella," She whined. "Still? You STILL looooove Edward," She emphasized "love" a little too loud.

"Ssshhhhh! You said he wasn't going to BE here this summer! I wasn't mentally prepared," I explained in a hushed tone. She doubled-over in laughter.

"You were mentally-PREPARED," She spit out, still heaving in laughter. I whacked her on the shoulder and buried my face in my hands. She took a deep breathe and got back to her senses.

"I know, I know. He cancelled his trip. He said he'd rather volunteer at the hospital this summer," She said, casually filing her nails. She then stopped and put on a curious face. "Come to think of it…He announced that decision right after I confirmed that you would be coming back this summer…Hmmm…Curious," She said, going back to filing her nails. I stared at her with my mouth hanging open. She looked at me and winked.

May 2009

I sat at the nurses station and updated the charts as I had just taken vitals from my patients.

"Hey, Bella," Kate said as she sat next to me. I looked up and smiled. She was a sweet woman and had welcomed me into this hospital with open arms. Besides the Blacks', she was my only friend here.

"Hey, Kate! Anything…special…happen this weekend," I asked, trying to remain casual as I wrote in the charts. She smiled and elbowed me in the ribs.

"Why, yes. It was an…interesting weekend," She replied, just as casually, taping her left hand on the desk next to me. I grabbed her hand and began to examine the new diamond ring that decorated it and gasped.

"It that a…mole," I asked, jokingly. She whacked my on the shoulder and I gave her a hug, and we jumped up and down. "Congratulations!" I said, pushing her away to look at the ring again.

"Why thank you. I say, about time," She laughed again. Just then, Doctor Smith walked over to the Nurses station.

"Good morning, ladies. I thought I would introduce you to our new resident," He started. Doctor Smith was a plump and kind-hearted man. He had seen Charlie throughout his illness and had a wonderful bedside manner. He helped me get the job at this hospital. We smiled at his statement and rose to greet the new Resident. "Aw, there his is now," He said as a man with golden brown hair turned the corner and headed in our direction. My heart stopped beating and I let out a gasp. Kate looked at me, puzzled.

"Ladies, this is Doctor Edward Cullen," He said, placing a hand on his shoulder. Edward looked up and immediately caught my eye. A smile spread across his face, which was even more handsome and perfect since I had seen him almost 5 years ago.

"Bella," He exclaimed, reaching out for a hug. I could see Kate's eyes were now bugging out of her face.

"Um, hello, Edward," I replied, still in a state of shock.

"When did you- I mean do you…You live here, now," he asked.

"I do…I came when Charlie found out he was sick and decided to stay," I said, carefully choosing my words. His face looked at me with tenderness and he squeezed my shoulder.

"I'm sorry, I had no idea…Is he…" He said, pulling me into him. My mind was dizzy with his smell, the feel of his embrace. All of a sudden, I felt 17 again. But then a thought jumped back in my mind. Nessie. Oh, God, what had I done? I felt my chest tighten. I pushed away and avoided his eyes.

"It's okay- I've got…I have a patient to check on. It's good to see you, Edward…Ur, Doctor Cullen," I rambled. Not waiting for him to respond, I took off down the hall. I veered into the ladies room and locked myself in a stall. I wished that could disappear at that moment and I gave in to the sobs that overtook my body

Summer of 2004

I got out of my car and bounded up the steps of their porch. I knocked on the door. No answer. I knocked again, harder. Still, no answer. With a huff, and jumped down the stairs and went to face Alice's window.

"Alice," I yelled. "AAALLL-ICCE!"

"She took of this morning with that kid, Jasper," I heard a voice coming from behind me.

"Oh," I replied, sadly. I felt my face drop. Alice had mentioned her new boyfriend, Jasper. Actually, that is all she talked about for the last week.

"He surprised her this morning. She told me to tell you, 'Sorry' if I saw you," he explained, stepping closer to me. I smiled at him and shrugged my shoulders.

"Eh, it was bound to happen sometime," I sighed. He laughed at my expression.

"Hmm, I was thinking about doing some fishing. Seeing as your plans have changed, you want to join me…that is, if you promise not to jump in," he added, teasingly. I gave him a grumpy look.

"Fine, but you bait my hook. I can't handle guts," I said, casually. I was masking the urge to jump up and down at the opportunity spend time with Edward Cullen. EDWARD CULLEN! Alone!

We spent all day by the river. We talked about the future, our plans, our dreams. He said after he graduated next year, he wanted to go on to medical school, follow in his father's footsteps. We talked about how we both wished to travel the world, go on adventures.

The sun was setting and we packed up and headed back. I felt I was walking on a cloud. My thoughts were going over every conversation, every move Edward had made. Before I knew it, my lack of concentration caused me to miss the fallen tree to my right. My foot caught on it and I fell to the earth and landed with a hard thud. I moaned, not in pain, but in complete embarrassment.

Edward dropped what he was carrying and rushed over to me, helping me to my feet.

"Are you alright," he exclaimed, examining my hands and arms.

"Yes, I'm fine…Just clumsy," I sighed and I started brushing the dirt off my clothes. He smiled at that comment and helped brush me off.

"You got a little dirt, here," He said, brushing his thumb against my cheek. He was so close to me that I could feel his warm breathe on my face. My heart beat was going a million miles a minute as his hand touched my face. He stopped moving his fingers. His hand gently cupped my face. He stared into my eyes, an intensity I had never seen before.

"You are…so beautiful, Bella," He said, in a husky voice. Just then, he leaned his face closer to mine and before I knew it, his lips were on mine. He kissed me gently, tugging at my lower lip. His free hand found itself on the small of my back and pushed me into him. My lips echoed his and I hungrily kissed him back. My arms wrapped around his neck. Suddenly, he pushed me away.

"I can't- I can't, it's not right," He said, grabbing the items he dropped and heading off, quickly to the house.

I stood still, where I had been standing. I put my hand to my lips, which were still tingling. My heart was still racing. I smile slowly spread across my face.

"He kissed me," I whispered to myself, in delight.

May 2009

I heard the door open and shut.

"Bella! Bella, is that you," Kate asked, with a concerned voice.

"I- I'm not feeling to well, Kate. I think I need to go home. Could you let Doctor Smith know," I said, through sobs.

"Yes, of course, Bella. Do you- Do you want to talk," She asked.

"Not right, now, Kate. But thank you," I whispered. With that, I took a deep breathe and composed myself. I got out of the stall and splashed cold water on my face. Kate patted my back and offered me a shy smile.

"I've messed up. I messed up big," I explained, looking at her through my puffy eyes.

"I'm sure it's not as bad as you think," She offered. I sighed.

"It's worse," I said under my breathe and left the bathroom. I hurried down the hallway and made it safely into my car. I headed back to La Push. I had to see my Nessie.