Ever Elusive
By elsiie
Genre: Romance, Drama
Rating: T
Summary: The feeling that consumed her body and mind. It was probably something akin to…jealousy. Ryuu/Gyoku. AU.
Characters: Ren Hakuryuu, Ren Kougyoku
Chapter Two – Sea Walk
Deciding that she couldn't stay there any longer, Kougyoku excused herself and returned to her room. She quickly changed into a casual white dress, she didn't plan on going anywhere special (or seeing anyone) today, and out of her slippers and into a pair of flip-flops. After allowing herself a quick checking out at the floor length mirror that was opposite her bed, the girl left her bedroom.
Treading softly down the stairs, her eyes trained on the entryway that led to the kitchen. She could make out the scraping of cutlery on plates and came to the conclusion that her cousins were still eating. She had hoped that she could exit the house silently, without gaining their attention so this discovery was a welcomed one.
Bidding a silent reply to no one in particular, she exited the house and locked it gently behind her.
The air outside was cool and it made Kougyoku feel refreshed. She could smell the faint scent of salt coming from the sea water. From the doorstep of the house, she could see the ocean itself, all bright blue and foamy, the white sand contrasting greatly. She found herself feeling excited, so she broke into a light jog, towards the beach.
It was a little difficult to walk on the sand, her feet kept sinking in, but eventually she got used to it. The wind picked up, her pink hair flying all around her like a cream soda tornado.
"It feels so nice," she said to herself, arms stretched out, feeling the breeze.
She suddenly felt uninhibited, probably from all the sugar in her breakfast and the lack of people around her, and without warning, broke into a spin. Her skirt flew around her, her hair danced and all the while, she laughed and laughed.
While she didn't like being alone, there were some advantages to it.
By the time she returned to the house, the kitchen was completely empty. The plates were drying by the sink, the counter spotless, she had to give it to them, they knew how to clean. Kougyoku glanced at the clock hanging by the entry. Half past eight. Still so early, she thought.
"Cousin?"
She jumped and spun around.
"H – Hakuryuu-chan! Don't scare me like that!" Kougyoku cried, her hand on her chest, trying to still her heart.
"Ah, sorry," he apologized hurriedly. "I didn't mean to surprise you."
A small sigh escaped her mouth. "No, it's fine. Did you want something?"
"Yes actually, I was wondering where the toilet paper is kept?"
"…toilet paper?"
Hakuryuu coughed, "I noticed that there was no toilet paper in the bathroom, so I tried to change it and…"
"Oh. Have you checked under the sink?" That was where it was usually kept.
The boy nodded, "And the cupboard next to the bathroom – filled with towels and shampoo - but no toilet paper."
Kougyoku brought a finger to her lip, going to have to buy some more…
"I'll go down to the shops," she suggested. It's not like I have anything else to do today. "Is there anything else you need?"
A shake of his head indicated otherwise. Then, a fairly thoughtful expression appeared on his face.
"Is it okay if I come with you?"
"Why?" She asked, her tone filled with curiosity.
"Why?" He echoed her. "To help you."
The pink haired girl stared at him, eyes a little wide, mouth slightly agape. Why the heck is he so considerate? Are you really a teenager? In the meanwhile, he looked at her, eyes showing only his sincerity and nothing else.
"Uh, yes I guess that's okay. We'll have to take the bus because I can't drive yet," her reply was a little awkward, and he noticed.
"If you don't want me to come, I won't – " he started.
Again, she wondered if she had offended him. She often did offend people, whether it was on accident or not. Worried about the impression she might had left on him, she hurried to correct herself.
"No!" It came out a bit too loud. Hakuryuu jumped slightly, and so did she. "I - I'd appreciate it if you came."
He didn't really look as if he believed her, but it was odd not to. So he gave her a small smile and told her that he was going to grab his wallet. Kougyoku followed him up the staircase, to her own room, where she pulled a cardigan on and changed into a pair of flats. On her desk laid a white satchel bag, where her wallet and keys were, she picked it up and slung it over her shoulder.
By the time she had arrived at the front door, her cousin was already waiting for her.
"Sorry for the wait."
"I haven't been waiting long," he replied kindly.
How can you be so nice?! She screamed to herself, but her face showed no hint to her internal dilemma.
She locked the door behind them, listening to the soft 'click' that echoed after she did. Stuffing her keys into her bag, Kougyoku joined her cousin on the sidewalk. Their walk to the bus stop was mostly filled with silence, the two didn't know what to talk about. At school, they were a year apart. She usually hung out with Judal while he was often in the company of Alibaba and his friends.
At times, when the passed each other in the hallways, they would wave, or nod politely. That was how it had always been, since he and his sister had joined her family.
After a few minutes of walking, the only sounds being heard being seagulls squawking and waves crashing against the beach, Hakuyruu spoke. "Where is Ka Koubun?"
Kougyoku stifled a small laugh when the dark haired man was brought up. Her attendant was a good one, albeit a little annoying. She had forbidden him from coming, telling him that the beach house was perfectly safe and that she was old enough to stay by herself. Of course, he hadn't taken it well, but he didn't dare oppose her. Not after she had given him her infamous glare. A lady of the Kou Business Empire, who could say no to her?
She laughed mischievously, as if she were hiding a secret. "Who knows?"
He went along with her deception, all the while smiling but she noticed something strange as he did.
"Why are you always doing that?" asked Kougyoku, frowning.
"Doing what?"
"That thing with your mouth," she made a motion with her hands.
The boy stared at her for a few seconds, lost before his eyes widened and his mouth formed an 'o' shape.
"You mean smiling?" However, that wasn't it. Even though his lips were pulled into a 'smile', his eyes didn't. One would definitely not call that 'smiling'. She stopped in her tracks, and he did too. He had turned to face her, that odd expression on his face, something she didn't quite recognize.
"You're not smiling," Kougyoku replied, drily.
It is as if the wind has slowed down. Everything seemed to be moving so sluggishly, their hair, their clothes, the clouds behind them. But they themselves stood so still. She didn't dare move her eyes from his. The pale blue, like the colour of the sky, yet they appeared as if they were on fire, bore into her rose tinted ones.
Hakuryuu's mouth was set in a hard line. A frown, that was what he was doing, and it was more genuine than any smile he had given her. Did I make him angry? Eventually, it left his face and his eyes softened a little.
Turning away from her, he started to walk again, "We should hurry to the bus stop."
Kougyoku frowned at his back. Weird guy. Nevertheless, she quickened her pace and before they knew it, the bus stop came into view. It was empty, which made sense as it was still quite early in the morning and the area was pretty secluded as well. Their beach house was located in a wealthy neighbourhood, rich people usually preferred not to use public transport.
By the time they reached it, there was still no bus in sight. She looked around for the familiar timetable.
"Another five minutes," she told her companion before brushing the metal bench with her hand and sitting down.
He nodded at her, albeit rather absently. A short moment passed before he moved to sit by her, leaving a bit of space between them. Out of the corner of her eye, she glimpsed an elderly woman holding onto a walking cane walk towards them. Instinctively, she made a move to give her space and bumped into something hard.
She let out a small 'oof' as did the boy next to her.
"I'm sorry Hakuryuu-chan!" She apologized but was unable to lean away as the old lady had already sat down.
He gave her a reassuring look, "It's okay."
So they sat like that, a little too close, under the blue summer sky.
oOo
"Is there a type you usually get?"
She looked over his shoulder at the item he held between his fingers. Usually, she wasn't the one who did the grocery shopping, most of the time it was the housekeeper, but she was on holiday.
"I think so." At his incredulous look, she added quickly, "I'm sure none of my brothers would even tell the difference."
Shrugging, he tossed the toilet paper into the shopping basket.
oOo
When they exited the supermarket, the first thing she noticed was that the sun's rays had gotten stronger. It wasn't unbearable, just a little annoying. Her palms had already started to get sweaty, the plastic handle digging into her soft skin. Her cousin didn't seem bothered by the heat, both hands gripping the bags filled to the brim with various goods.
Even with his hands full, he still asked, "Do you want me to help you carry those?"
Shaking her head furiously, she tightened her grip around the handles.
"Are you sure – "
"Yes! I'm fine!" Hakuryuu flinched and she froze, immediately regretting her tone. "I – I didn't mean to snap at you – "
He looked so hurt and that made her feel a hundred times worse. Apologize, apologize! Instead, her eyes flashed to her feet, dark pink hair hiding her face from his gaze.
"I'm sorry."
Except those words did not come from her, as they should have. Now she couldn't bring herself to say it, with flushed cheeks and teary eyes, she nodded.
oOo
In their beach house, there was a piano.
It was grand, pristine, and white and lived in their living room. Once, long ago, it had belonged to Kougyoku. Well, more like she was the only one who used it. The only reason she liked playing the instrument was because it was her only tie to her father. When she played, small hands drifting over ivory keys, her father seemed to almost enjoy her company.
But then he got sick and stopped coming. Spending all his time in that other house with her stepmother. So she stopped playing. Overtime, dust collected on the keys and the pages of her piano book grew yellow. Kougyoku realized that the piano had been neglected, like she was.
Lifting the cover of the piano while gazing forlornly at the instrument, she sat down on the stool. Her fingers instinctively went to the keys, sliding over the ivory surface. And so, she tried to play.
But it had been so long since she had, her fingers tripped over each other, the notes were hard to read, and it was as if the beauty of the piano had been lost long ago. Breathing deeply, she closed the lid of the grand piano.
Just as the lid shut, she heard the familiar sound of someone playing the violin. Great timing Hakuryuu-chan, the girl thought, in a slightly bitter manner.
It most likely irked her. The fact that her cousin had nearly everything she didn't. Acknowledgement from her father because of his mother's status, Kougyoku's own mother being some prostitute from the slums. His open-mind, even now, she couldn't quite fully tolerate Hakuei, although part of her wish she could. His gift in cooking, something she could never seem to achieve, no matter how hard she seemed to try. And of course, his skill that allowed him to produce such beautiful music.
Perhaps, if she had continued playing the piano, she could have reached his level of skill. But she hadn't. And she regretted it.
It was stupid and trivial, so it made sense for her to feel that way. That was just the type of person she was. Even though her cousin was so kind and gentle, she still held these horrible feelings towards him.
"I'm awful," she whispered, clutching at the smooth, dust covered surface of the piano.
But as much as she hated the feeling of jealousy, she couldn't help it. My chest hurts. It hurts so, so much. It felt tight, painful –
And her soul, it was covered in dirt.
A/N Constructive criticism would be much appreciated! Thank you for reading!