Welcome to the Mary Sue Patrol!
This is the My Immortal Special, here you will find the most funny/crazy/stupid/unbelievably stupid and just plain wrong quotes. So enjoy reading from the best/worst fanfiction ever written.
Here is the first few lines: Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears "limpid tears"?
Moving on…
I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie
I'm sure if Gerard Way found out he was related to a Mary Sue he'd die of shame.
Draco was waiting there in front of his flying car.
Yeah, because not only does Malfoy despise muggles, he also owns a muggle car, which can conveniently fly.
And then… suddenly just as I Draco kissed me passionately. Draco climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. He took of my top and I took of his clothes. I even took of my bra. Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time. "Oh! Oh! Oh! " I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm. And then…. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!" It was….Dumbledore!
Did anyone not die of laughter when they read this? I mean the awful sex scene, the dreadful orgasm and then Dumbledore dropped the F-bomb!
How could anyone flame this work of art?
"You ludacris fools!" he shouted.
Hehehehehe
"Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?" asked Professor McGonagall.
Mediocre? Come on, Mcgonagall it was their first time.
We started frenching passively and we took off each others clothes enthusiastically. He felt me up before I took of my top. Then I took off my black leather bra and he took off his pants. We went on the bed and started making out naked and then he put his boy's thingy in mine and we HAD SEX. (c is dat stupid?) "Oh Draco, Draco!" I screamed while getting an orgasm when all of a sudden I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on Draco's arm. It was a black heart with an arrow through it. On it in bloody gothic writing were the words… Vampire!
Oh the drama of the teenage life.
Sighs…
"Crookshanks!" I shouted at him. Voldemort fell of his broom and started to scream. I felt bad for him even though I'm a sadist so I stopped.
CROOKSHANKS! WTF?
Voldemort gave me a gun. "No! Please!" I begged. "Thou must!" he yelled. "If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Draco!" "How did you know?" I asked in a surprised way. Voldemort got a dude-ur-so-retarded look on his face. "I hath telekinesis." he answered cruelly. "And if you doth not kill Vampire, then thou know what will happen to Draco!" he shouted. Then he flew away angrily on his broomstick
Voldemort gave her a gun? Um...what happened to his wand? And since when does his speak Olde English?
Then I looked out the window and screamed… Snap was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! And Loopin was masticating to it! They were sitting on their broomsticks.
By far one of the most hilarious parts in the story! Snap? Masticating (means chewing BTW) Loopin? Oh god, I nearly died.
"STOP IT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS!" shouted Professor McGoggle who was watching us and so was everyone else.
No words are needed…
Gerard looked even sexier than he did in da pictures. Even Draco thought so, I could totally see him getting an erection
We gasped. It wasn't them at all. It was.,….. Volsemort and da Death Dealers!
Death Dealers? Makes sense I guess.
Sudenly a gothic old man flu in on his broomstick. He had lung black hair and a looong black bread. He wus werring a blak robe dat sed 'avril lavigne' on da back. He shotted a spel and Vlodemort ran away. It was…DUMBLYDORE!
So, Dumbledore likes Avril Lavigne? Who knew things were so Complicated? (giiddditt? Complicateddd? Fukk u avril!)
"No, actshelly (geddit, hell) kan I plz burrow sum condemns." he growld angrily. "Yah, so u can fuk ur six-yr-old gurlfriend, huh?" I shouted sarkastikally. "Fuker." He said, gong away. Well anyway, I put on some black eyesharow, black eyeliner, and some black lipstick and white foundation. Then I went. Den I gasped….Snake and Loopin were in da middle of da empty hall, doin it, and Dobby was watching!1 "Oh my god you ludacris idiot!" they both shooted angrily when they saw me. Dobby ran away crying. Dey got up, though. Normally I wood have ben turned on (I luv cing guyz do it) but both of them were fuking preps. (btw snake is movd 2 griffindoor now) "WTF is that why u wanted condoms?" I asked sadistically. (c I speld dat) "Only you wouldn't give them to me!" Lumpkin shouted angrily. "Well you shoulda told me." I replayed.
Hahhahhaha. VOMIT hahahahaha VOMIT.
Repeat, and repeat again.
She should have given Lupin a condom, otherwise GASP! ..he might have gotten pregnant!
She gets turned on by male on male sex?
Um….
VOMIT.
Return for the next chapter were I shall bring you the best quotes from the second half of the story.
Now fuk off u Ludacris fools, u fuken prepz. No FLAMS jus fuk off