Ariadne's POV
"Wake up you lazy idiots, that bacon's not gonna cook itself!" shouted my lovely aunt Petunia. Every day was the same story, she would yell at us from the kitchen, then she would come and bang on our cupboard door, and then we would bang our heads against the cupboard's ceiling. Yup. Pretty good routine. Anyways, you might be wondering who we is. My name is Ariadne Jackson, and my cousin Harry Potter and I were sent by our dead parents to this wretched place. You see, Aunt Petunia had two sisters: Lily Potter and Sally Jackson. She hated both of them, for apparently they were more talented and skilled than her. Then, when mine and Harry's parents went on a road trip together, their car crashed into the side of a mountain, and that's how they died. Or at least, that's how they died according to Petunia. Because that woman is full of lies, cruel and harsh lies. And that's why there's another story that she told us which I don't believe. The story about how Harry and I got our scars. Apparently, our parents were, and I quote, "Stupid and ignorant enough to give two toddlers toys with sharp edges." Yeah... I think that judgement is just a little bit biased. Anyways, as I said, Harry and I have scars, and I'm pretty sure they were caused by something more powerful than a toy. His is a lightning bolt on the forehead, and mine is what seems to be a long wave that's spread out on my jaw. As we stood up to join our dreadful aunt in the equally dreadful kitchen, Harry hit his head on the cupboard ceiling once again, and I had to brush spiderwebs out of my hair. My cousin and I had been living in the same little cupboard under the stairs for as long as we'd been living with the Dursleys, and that was twelve years and 13 days. Yes, I had been stuck in hell for that long. During that long period of time in this awful place, I had accumulated both scars and memories that showed how cruel human beings can be. Plus, today was even worse than usual, which is hard to imagine. But it was worse in many ways, because today was Dudley's birthday. Dudley was even more despised than his parents by us, and he used that hate as an advantage to make us lose our minds. Harry was more of the quiet kind, always running away and slowly and silently enduring the pain, but I'm a completely different story. I like to be in control, so I hated it when one of my least favorite people thought he owned me like a slave. I can clearly make a point and I hate it when someone else questions that claim. Even though I'm tough and hard, the only soft spot I have is for my little cousin who shares the same terryfying fate as me. Harry's like a little brother to me, and I can't stand the fact that he keeps getting beaten up by everyone. So i decided to become his personal bodyguard. I go everywhere he goes, I eat everything he eats, I give wedgies to Dudley and his stupid friends, AND I do most of his homework. I am AWESOME! Self high five. Anyway, even though it doesn't seem like I should like it, I do. A lot. In fact, I happen to have a very rare(JK, it's actually pretty common) case of ADHD. That basically means that I can't do nothing. Which means that I'm always doing something. Get that? And I'm not saying I'm one of those YOLO freaks, I just have a very...excited brain. It's so serious, even while I'm doing something I'm thinking about doing something ELSE, and then I start thinking about what I would be thinking about while I did that, and what I'd do after that other thing, and it goes on and, on and, on and, on and, on and... until I give myself a mental(in extremely serious cases even phisycal) slap. Here's an example. Two days ago, on Thursday (today's Saturday by the way in case you didn't know, it's also chores day(like every other day) and it's also Dudley's birthday(now that's not everyday) and... Teehee. Oops I did it again(that's a Britney Spears song btw! OMG don't you just LOVE her! She is soooo amazing, and I should probably stop talking when I'm talking. If you know what I mean. Which you probably don't. Anyway... Bye!"insert slapping noise here because I don't know how to actually describe thAT. Like, SLAP!" Well, I guess I don't need to explain it to you anymore, because in case you missed it, I just had a very interesting conversation with myself. I could do it again if you want! so, it was two days ag...SLAP! Boy that really woke me up! Anyway(again), I was saying I enjoy being Harry's bodyguard, and for more than one reason.
10 Reasons Why Being Harry's Bodyguard is Awesome
A List By Ariadne Jackson
I get to see my little cousin all day long
My little cousin gets to see ME all day long
My little cousin's bullies get to see me all day long
I can protect the only family I have and truly care about
I have something to do all day long
It helps with my ADHD
I love beating up kids
I was one of those kids that got beaten up
I get revenge
I prove my strength and get a very scary reputation(but i likkkeee it)(insert creepy slurring tone here)
That pretty much tells it all! Well, you can totally ignore the beating kids up part, but if you do decde to read it, I only beat up bullies. Like the steal your lunch and give you wedgies kind of bullies. Also, I occasionally take care of the naughty words bullies. Those are the worst kind of bullies, because even though I have perfectly clean record, (that's only for those of you who ignored number seven) I always want to swear right in their faces. They have this superpower which makes you think about the worst possible words and insults you've ever heard. However, those kind of bullies are nearly extinct, so I have had the chance not to encounter any of those people(if you can call them that). If I'm boring you, you can stop me you know. And... OMG! I JUST REMEMBERED! I forgot to describe myself! I AM SO RUDE! Oh dear, I'll just have to make up for that now, I guess! I'll start all over(teehee! I am SO sorry for you if you're still reading this! Blink twice if you're being held against your will and need help from my awesome self). So, my name is Ariadne Jackson, I am 13 years old, and in case you didn't catch that before, I am amazing. I have long, straight black hair with natural aquamarine tips. I'd say I'm average height, around 5"2, and I'm more bones than skin. I'm am not kidding. WIth the amount of food that they give us in this house, you might start thinking that we only get fed leftovers. And you're right. And since both my uncle and my cousin are the size of an extra large yoga ball, that's even less than normal. So, yeah. I'm a walking stick. And even though you might think that I'm ungrateful for having a thin body, my life is faaaarrrr from perfect. If you started hating me because of my rant, then I would reread the few last sentences. I would do anything, even become the fattest person in the world to have a real family. Think about it. What would you do without a mom? A dad? Grandparents and uncles? Cousins? Who would put you to bed or hold you and wipe your tears after your first heartbreak? And who would give you all those caring hugs after you messed up and help you get up and get better? Who would give you money on Christmas and on your birthday? Who would playfully tease yu and then make you smile? But most importantly, who would always be there? We are simple human beings, and we always need someone by our side. Even I always needed Harry to just be there. He didn't have to do anything, he just had to be there. At least, that remiinded me that I wasn't completely alone.