Hey-ho, here's another update on Trading Spaces. To those of you who are looking for Edo, I'm sorry, but as the story is getting complicated, those updates take longer. Trading Spaces I can write during school visits and then upload into my office PC.
I'm a lot less familiar with the Saiyuki cast, and so they may come out far more awkward. I've been writing, reading, and watching Weiss for awhile now, but just started Saiyuki this year, and only recently was able to get the English mangas, thanks to a kind, good friend of mine. (I love you!) The rest I watched and read in Japanese, which still a rather difficult language for me. I speak and understand with about an intermediate fluency, which probably isn't much at all. I can carry on most daily conversation. That's about it.
By the by, while 'koi' does mean fish, like most Japanese words, there's more than one meaning. Koi also means love, as does 'ai'. In Japan, there are different kinds of love, and most people are reluctant to express it. (How sad is that?) The pop-term for it is "labu labu" (i.e. 'Love love' with a Japanese accent.) "Aishiteru" is a much heavier, deeper term, and is rarely, if ever used. As far as what a male would call a male lover, I'm not completely sure. 'Koi' is not widely used in Japan. 'Anata' (lit. 'You') is the common pet name in a male/female marriage. 'Boifuurendo' (Boyfriend) and 'Garlufuurendo'(Girlfriend) are also commonly used among younger people, as well as 'kareshi'(boyfriend), 'kanojyo'(girlfriend), and 'koibito'(lover). Whew! Makes learning the language difficult, when you have about two or three different meanings at least for every word. Ok, on with the show!
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Trading Spaces, Chapter 2:
"You're not the man I married!"
Well fuck.
What was he supposed to do now? Sanzo stared blankly at the form beside him that had gone back to sleep. Or so the monk hoped. And just how the hell was he supposed to manage not getting himself committed to a mental institution? He didn't imagine that simply telling the man beside him that he wasn't who-ever's body this was was going to be calmly and rationally accepted. Or accepted at all. So what then? Sanzo thought long and hard, his need for nicotine slowly eroding at his brain. For starters, he didn't even know who the hell was---Ken.
Wait, what?
Ken. That was the person beside him. He was sure of it. But how did he know and where did it--
...12 pm shift today. Can sleep a little late...
Ahh.
Slowly, bits and pieces of information began to trickle into his mind and Sanzo grabbed at them, studying them like an entomologist might study a rare species of insect. He realized, as a mental image of Ken naked, and, well...panting on a bed floated through his brain, that these were very likely memories of the person's body he was in.
The brunet next to him was his lover.
So not only did he get stuck as a florist, but a gay florist none the less. Dammit. And how the hell he could read memories when another person's soul wasn't in residence was beyond him. At least Gojyo wasn't here to laugh at him. In fact, Sanzo was pretty damn sure none of the others were here, so screw it--he didn't really care what happened at this point. The monk had a feeling that this wasn't a permanent arrangement, and he welcomed the chance at a vacation from those morons for a bit. Not to mention all that traveling. He could handle this. He'd been through worse--far worse. And if the three aspects wanted him to go West still so badly, they'd find a way to fix this pronto. Until then, he'd try and make the best of his current situation.
All he had to do was pretend to be this...Fujimiya Aya person. Not too hard. Although he wished he had more than surface memories to go on. After all, while knowing what he ate and who he screwed yesterday were useful bits of information, they didn't tell him much about what kind of personality he was supposed to have.
'Just go with it, Konzen.' Kanzeon Bosatsu's voice informed him glibly. Sanzo scowled.
'I don't know what the fuck you have to do with this;--- no wait; this is probably all your fault--but you better fucking fix it you old hag, or I'm coming up there. And even that dickhead of a major-domo won't be able to stop me when I show you just how much you've managed to piss me off.' the monk growled back mentally.
'You're welcome to try. Sounds like fun. Better pay attention now though...' Before Sanzo could reply or ask what Kanzeon was talking about, there were a pair of hands on his shoulders, and he found himself staring, up close and personal, into a pair of very assessing brown eyes.
"Ran, what is it? Do you still have that headache? You always take advantage of a few more minutes of sleep when we both have the opening shift off." a warm, smooth voice called. Sanzo stared blankly at the man who was supposed to be his alter ego's lover. Not a bad choice at all, for a guy. But why was he saying 'Ran'? Wasn't his name Aya? Fucking A, he didn't want to deal with this shit. How the hell was he supposed to be someone else when he didn't even know what the fuck his name was? He scowled darkly, aggravated, and decided his best bet would be to play along.
"Nnn. Yeah. Headache is still there." he grunted, putting a hand to his head and sighing as he closed his eyes. There was a brief moment of silence. And then--
"Alright, that's it. To the doctor's we go. I'm getting Yohji up. He can take over your shift after ditching yesterday." Sanzo turned wide eyes up to the brunet that was now busy walking around the room in search of his clothes. The doctor's? Shit!
"Wait--what do you mean doctor's?" the monk growled. He was not dealing with any damn medical personnel when he wasn't in his own freaking body. They'd likely be asking him all sorts of personal questions that he couldn't answer. And the Gods knew what that could lead to. Stupid bitch! Sanzo thought with a growl. When was he ever going to catch a break? Ken turned and gave him an odd, worried look from over one shoulder.
"We talked about this yesterday, remember? I told you then I wasn't going to change my mind. You've still got a headache, you're going to the doctor's. Now stop being difficult get dressed, dammit!" the brunet growled. Sanzo bristled. He didn't care whose body he was in, he wasn't going to take orders like that from anyone. And he wasn't going to any damn doctor's. That was final. Glowering, the monk tried his hand at burning holes into the man's brain with only his thoughts. It didn't work. Damn.
"I am not fucking going to any doctor's, is that clear?" he ground out in a gravelly tone that sounded more familiar to his own. The brunet paused in the fastening of his jeans, and gave Sanzo what the monk interpreted as a clearly hurt look.
"What the hell is your problem Ran? You agreed to this yesterday when I fought you for it! I'm worried about you! You haven't been yourself lately!" the once-blond man snorted, wishing once again, most heartily, for a cigarette. This guy had no idea...
"I changed my mind. I'm not going." he grunted, looking away. The swift sound of footsteps approaching him alerted Sanzo to the fact that he now had Ken's complete attention, and before he could begin to back himself out of bed, a pair of hands slammed into the wall on either side of his head angrily, and he looked up to find Ken's nose a mere breath from his own. It was making him uncomfortable. He fervently hoped this guy wasn't going to try and kiss him. That was the last thing he needed.
Brown eyes once again narrowed, this time viciously, in an assessment the monk had a feeling he was at risk of failing. He sat in silence, his mind working furiously on ways he could possibly get himself out of this and smooth things over before they got out of hand, when there was a pounding at the door. Ken let out a small, frustrated growl.
"This isn't finished, Ran. There's something wrong, and I'm going to find out what." he hissed, pushing away from the wall and turning to answer the door. It opened to reveal a tall, lanky man, his wavy brunet hair tied back into a casual ponytail, hair in the front remaining around his face. Sanzo though of Gojyo for a moment, but the idea drifted away.
"Yo. You two lovebirds wanna keep it down? 'Man needs his beauty sleep, and you're disturbing mine." a smooth, smarmy voice muttered. Yeah, this man definitely reminded him of Gojyo. Perhaps a bit more vain, however.
"Fuck off Yohji! You got plenty of beauty sleep when you skipped out yesterday. In fact, you're taking Ran's shift in the shop today, since he's going to the doctor's." the brunet grated out, the last sentence with more emphasis for Sanzo's sake. The man called 'Yohji' blanched, and when he pulled back slightly, Sanzo noticed the cigarette dangling from his mouth.
Ooh. Nicotine. He was moving before he even realized it.
"No way! It's my day off today! Get the kid to do it!"
"He has school today Yohji! You don't have shit. And since you took yesterday off, consider your holiday over." Ken growled back, clearly not in the mood and quite ready for a fight. Yohji took a deep breath, putting the cigarette between his fingers, and leaned into Ken's personal space.
"I was sick yesterday! Sick!" he growled.
"Bullshit! You were hung-over! There's a difference!" the shorter brunet growled back, wishing his lover was more himself and inclined to make Yohji pull his own damn weight.
Sanzo paid no attention. He was almost there. Cigarette. He knew Aya didn't smoke often, so he shouldn't be craving one, but his brain couldn't seem to let go of the addiction. And damn, did he ever need one right now...
"Dammit Ken! Have you ever been hung over?" Yohji was yelling.
"Yes, I ha---" Ken stopped dead, Yohji along with him, anger forgotten as Aya causally plucked Yohji's cigarette from between his fingers and sauntered down the hall, taking a deep drag that nearly depleted the entire stick in one sitting. Ken and Yohji stared at each other, then back at Aya.
"Did he just--?" Yohji began.
"Yeah, he did." Ken replied, concern and shock mingling. Yohji frowned darkly.
"First the jock accuses me of cutting shop like I'm some kind of school boy, and now icicle is smoking the cigarette right outta my damn mouth! I don't know what the hell the matter with you two is, but fix it, damn it, and leave the rest of us out of it!" the lanky man growled.
"Spare me. You cut out yesterday, you pull your share today. End of story. And goddammit Ken, I am not going to the doctor's!" 'Aya' growled, finishing what had been Yohji's cigarette in the second puff. Ken, mute with shock, had nothing to say. Even Yohji, angry though he was, remained silent and staring. Something was definitely up with Aya.
"Ken, what the hell happened between you guys?" the playboy whispered into the brunet's ear. "You deny him sex or something?" Ken growled, swatting at him.
"No, you asshole! He woke up all pissy this morning!" the younger man shot back.
"He is right here thanks. And if you two idiots don't lay off I swear I'm going to hurt someone." Sanzo growled angrily. He found himself quite suddenly pinned by not one assessing stare, but two. Yohji's lazy green eyes were studying him with a bored interest that belied the sharpness behind his jade gaze. The monk fought the urge to take off and find a nice restaurant to sit in until things ordered themselves correctly once more. The silence dragged on, and Sanzo felt a vein begin pulsing dangerously on this forehead.
"Alright. Who are you and where is Ran?" Ken spoke so suddenly in the silence that the other two men jumped before turning to stare at him incredulously. But the brunet's tone had been deadly serious. Maybe this wasn't going to be as hard as he thought? If Ken had been the one to suggest the idea in the first place, perhaps he'd be more open to the answer to that question.
"Ken, not you too! What the hell is with you two this morning?" Yohji growled. Ken only shook his head.
"I don't know who's in that head, but it isn't Ran. I love him. I know. His eyes are all wrong." the younger brunet mumbled back. Yohji rolled his eyes at the sentimentality and turned back to stare at 'Aya' thoughtfully, eyes narrowed. After a moment or two, they widened in shock.
"Holy shit!" the playboy muttered. 'Aya' shifted uncomfortably. The stoic man's expression usually wore an 'I feel nothing.', or 'leave me the hell alone' look. Instead, that pale face now wore an expression that said quite plainly 'die slowly'. It was a shade far more belligerent that either had ever seen. Aya got pissed. He got enraged. He got cranky and grumpy and out-of-sorts. But he didn't get belligerent. Unless he was really, really drunk. And he was hardly ever that rude to Ken, especially when the young man was worried over Ran's health. He bitched sure, but almost always gave in. Yohji frowned.
"You haven't been drinking, have you Fujimiya?" he pondered casually. The vein pulsing on 'Aya's' forehead grew larger and another one on his jaw joined it.
"No, I have not been drinking." he growled back in a clipped tone. "But I sure as hell wish I was..." he added as an afterthought.
Right, so in this case, as weird as it sounded, Yohji agreed with Ken. The man before them was not Aya. But who was it? How had they managed to get in? Presumably, they'd have to slip into bed with Ken, after getting the real Aya out. That seemed rather impossible. Especially since the man standing in front of them looked too much like the real Aya to be a fake. So then that left Aya's mind.
If Aya wasn't in his right mind, then who was? Yohji and Ken's eyes widened at the same time as they reached the same conclusion.
"Mastermind!" they yelled, and turned half frightened, half angry gazes back onto Sanzo. The monk swallowed. He had no idea who or what 'Mastermind' was, but he had a feeling it wasn't something he wanted to be labeled. Ken took a slow, menacing step towards him, face tight with rage and determination. Behind him, Yohji stood rigidly, clearly battle ready. Sanzo recognized a fighting stance when he saw one. And he had a feeling this wouldn't be like fighting those cannon-fodder demons either. Especially since he didn't have his gun.
Shit. This wasn't looking promising.
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When Gojyo, Goku, and Hakkai arrived at the bathroom and knocked on the door, there was only silence that greeted them. Goku, expecting the worst, called Nyoi-bo forth, preparing to break the door down. Gojyo was not far behind with his shakujyo, however, Hakkai put an arm out in front of both of them, eyes narrowed dangerously.
"That isn't Sanzo's aura in there." the healer said calmly. Gojyo and Goku tensed, weapons at ready, as Hakkai slowly turned the knob. It was unlocked. He pushed it opened slowly...
'Sanzo' was standing in front of the mirror pulling comically at his face and alternating a close examination of his eyes and hair. When the door opened, he turned and regarded them with wide, unsure eyes.
"Sanzo...?" Hakkai ventured tentatively. There was a moment of silence, and then–
"Is that my name?"
Goku looked scared.
"C'mon Sanzo! Knock it off!" he wailed, putting his weapon away. Gojyo followed suit, looking at 'Sanzo' closely. Hakkai frowned suddenly, shaking his head. Before anyone could react, he had 'Sanzo' by the neck, and slammed him into the wall, eyes narrowed coldly.
"You're not Sanzo. Your aura is completely different. Who are you and what did you do with him?" he ground out in a flat, cold tone. The monk grabbed at Hakaki's hands, and with sudden and surprising force, he managed to wrench them away; his second move was to get one of Hakkai's arms behind the healer's back in a locked position, gaze suddenly less shocked and far more deadly.
"I don't know who the hell you people are, and I don't know who the hell this Sanzo person is, but I warn you, I won't go down without a fight. You had better send me back to where I belong before I get hostile." the imposter ground out.
"Hakkai!" Gojyo yelled out. He leapt forward, shakujyo in hand, only to find Goku blocking his path, nyoi-bo meeting Gojyo's weapon with ease. The teen had a stark, serious look on his face. "Goku, what the hell are you doing? This guy's an imposter, and now he's got Hakkai!" the kappa growled. Goku only shook his head.
"I believe him. He doesn't know where Sanzo is. He's got Sanzo's body. If we hurt him, we hurt Sanzo." the youth stated seriously. Gojyo growled, but refrained from attacking again. As much as he hated to admit it, the monkey was right, and they were in a no-win situation. Aside from various other reasons, without Sanzo, there was no mission west. Reluctantly, the kappa stood down, but refrained from putting his weapon away.
In a sudden move, while 'Sanzo' was distracted by Gojyo and Goku, Hakkai managed to wrench himself from the armlock and flipped easily, landing a safe distance away.
"You don't know where Sanzo is?" he asked carefully. The 'monk' made a face.
"No. I don't even know who he is, let alone where. I can only assume you mean the body I'm in." he replied in a flat, cold tone. Instead of looking belligerent, Sanzo's face had gone stoically emotionless, and cold. He regarded them cautiously, keeping a distance away.
Finally, Goku walked up to him slowly, his weapon gone, stopping just in front of the man who was Sanzo but wasn't. He looked up into the monk's face, and after a brief moment, said, " I'm Son Goku. This's Hakkai and Gojyo. Who're you?" Hakkai and Gojyo collectively held their breaths. 'Sanzo' scowled.
"I'm Fujimiya Aya." he said flatly. Goku blinked. Hakkai and Gojyo released their breath, and Gojyo had a pleasantly surprised look on his face.
"You're a chick? Trapped in a guy's body? Whoa! Why the hell does Sanzo have all the luck?" When he received two odd, exasperated stares and one livid one, he shrugged. "What?"
"I'm a man. M-A-N. " Aya growled.
"Then why do you have a girl's name?" the kappa pressed. 'Sanzo's' face went colder, if that was possible, the expression completely flat.
"That is none of your business." he growled back in a low tone of voice. "So don't ask again."
"Touuuchy!" Gojyo shot back. The cold expression adopted an enraged glare from amethyst depths. Hakkai stepped forward.
"Ah haha! Gojyo, let's not push it." he said politely. Tone belying the warning within the message. Wisely, Gojyo closed his mouth.
"Do you have any idea where Sanzo could be?" the healer continued carefully. 'Sanzo's' expression turned thoughtful.
"If I had a guess, I'd likely say he's probably stuck in my body right about now." A scowl followed this statement at the thought that someone else was in his body around Ken, who might not know what was going on yet.
"Okay, so it's easy right? Where did you come from? Your real body I mean. We'll just go there and try and fix it. Right Hakkai?" Goku cut in, still looking miserable and uneasy. His expression brightened slightly at the prospect of an easy answer to their solution.
"Goku. I'm afraid it isn't that simple." Hakkai began. He looked over at Sanzo–no, Aya. The man frowned thoughtfully.
"I don't know. Why don't you tell me where we are now?" he replied.
"We're in China, on our way West towards India to stop the revival of Gyumaoh." Gojyo responded casually. He'd lit a cigarette and was smoking it while leaning against the wall. He appeared relaxed, but enough time spent around Yohji told Aya that he was anything but. Not that he could blame any of these people. Although he was surprised at how quickly they'd figured things out. He only hoped Ken was as fast.
"China?" Aya frowned again. "I'm from Japan." Hakkai's face turned thoughtful.
"Japan? I've heard of it, but must confess I've never been there. It's an island, is it not?" Aya nodded. Goku looked confused.
"Wait, you're from another country? Is it far?" he asked, hope dwindling. Aya nodded reluctantly.
"We'd have to cross the sea. To the East." he informed them. Hakkai shook his head.
"Somehow, I don't think that would work anyways." he said slowly. Aya nodded in agreement.
"Look. Sanzo's got a mission, right? The three aspects sent 'im, so if they want us to finish, they'll fix this. Why don't we just chill out and see what happens?" Gojyo prompted from his corner. Hakkai tilted his head, and Goku looked alarmed at the idea of no Sanzo for an indefinite period of time.
"I don't know about that, either. The three aspects may not know about this. " the healer said thoughtfully. Goku's eyes grew larger.
"Wait, so he's stuck like this?" the teen yelped. "No way!" Hakkai put his hands up in a placating gesture.
"Now, now, Goku. Calm down. I'm sure if we give it some thought, a solution will present itself. " turning to face Aya, he continued, "But in the mean time, I think that maybe we should talk about a few things. I'm sure you need to get acquainted with that body, and we need to make sure you aren't going to kill us in our sleep." Here Aya's scowl deepened. Hakkai raised his hands again.
"Just precaution, you understand. We don't really know anything about you, and you're in Sanzo's body. If you would please take the sutra from around your neck and give it to me?" Aya looked down at his shoulders and spied the teal and black sutra he'd noticed in the bathroom. Taking it off carefully, he rolled it up and handed it to Goku. Goku looked at him with impossibly wide eyes. Turning, he handed the scripture to Hakkai. Hakkai took it, and smiling, pocketed it in his shirt. He turned a polite, friendly expression onto Aya.
"Well, you handed that over with no problem, so I don't think there's going to be much of an issue here. " the healer said jovially. Goku was still staring at Aya with huge eyes and the swordsman noticed that the man leaning against the wall had his full attention. He scowled angrily.
"What? It's just a sutra, for crying out loud. I mean it's sacred, but I have no need for it. It's not like I know how to even read it." Goku looked ready to faint. Hakkai and Gojyo blinked at him. Aya's scowl deepened, and he crossed his arms over his chest angrily. At length, Goku suddenly burst into tears, falling to his knees and wrapping his arms around 'Sanzo's' knees.
"Waahhh! I want Sanzo!" Aya looked positive ready to kill him. The tell tale twitching of a blond eyebrow marked the warning. Hakkai gently peeled Goku off of Aya and stood him upright. He looked over at Aya, and Aya scowled at the three of them in a way that wasn't Sanzo-like at all. He didn't know who'd caused this nightmare, but he was going to carve them up slowly when he found them. He wanted Ken. But Ken was with another man. The very thought made Aya's entire jaw twitch and tighten. Hakkai sweat-dropped.
Oh dear. This was going to be fun.
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Wow, so this is a lot harder to write than I thought. I tend to write more serious, angsty stuff, so making this interesting and still keeping it in character is difficult. I can't be too silly with them, like I want to be. (I DID want Ken to burst out with something along the lines of 'You're not the man I married!' but felt it was way too silly. See? I have an odd sense of humor...)
What do you think? Still entertaining? Should I leave off and play somewhere else? Let me know. Anything you want to see happen? They're all going to be involved in swapping bodies, so if there are any situations you'd like me to add in, let me know. So long as it's do-able I'd be more than happy to work it in. Until next-time!
Ja na!