A/N I do not own Harry Potter, J.K Rowling does, I'm just fixing it to my liking. Thank you for all you reviewers and the son ideas, I will be using quite a few of them! On to the story!

Chapter 2: Fire, Threesomes, and Pictures.

Hermione and Snape walked down the stairs in silence, both wondering if they should start a conversation, or just keep silent. Hermione slumped down to the floor and decided to wait for Draco there, and watched Snape walk away.

'Great, there goes my first one on one time. We'll be sleeping together in no time.'

Hermione rolled her eyes and was starting a plan of attack when Draco joined her, with Dumbledoor following close behind.

"Well Miss. Granger, you are eighteen now, am I correct?"

"Actually sir, I'm twenty. The last two years with the time turner added on the years, Professor Magonagle took it away from me, complaining something about taking my child hood away."

"Well Miss. Granger what or who ever you decided to do, or start a relationship with, is your business entirely, you are an adult. You have been able to use your wand at home since fifth year, correct?"

"I don't know sir, I never tried it. The thought has crossed my mind, but I would have never risked getting expelled."

"Well, the ministry has noticed and has no problem with you using your wand off school grounds, being a responsible and outstanding student. Now if you will excuse me, I need to re-set some passwords.

Hermione and Draco contained their laughter until they reached the entrance to the Gryffindor common room.

"What or who you want to do? What has he been watching?"

"Hopefully not those muggle programs, you know how horrible life would be if he saw one? No one would be safe! Nothing but quotes, look a likes! Next thing you know he'll make the staff dress….."

Hermione and Draco smiled. Maybe it was time to introduce the Headmaster to wonders of reality TV.

"Ok, now, before I tell you what we talked about, could you please go get my boyfriend. Not every one knows about us yet, and walking into your common room and having a full on make out session, is not the best way to share the news. I don't want to kill everyone by heart attack today."

"You guys don't make out every time you see each other!"

"Your right, usually when we see each other for the first time in the day, we usually just shag, in fact, we haven't had a shag in a good three days. We usually go at it at least twice a day. Infact, we charmed the closet to allow only the two of us to see it since we used it so much. Hey, maybe you should let me in there you know, for a quick look of a shirtless god before I go to bed. With his tan-ish skin, with those few sexy patches of hair…."

Draco was practically drooling, actually, she noticed some saliva and the look in his eyes told her if she let him in, Draco would pounce on him, not caring who watched, and would definitely complete the deed.

"Um, that wouldn't be a good idea. Now, stay over by that picture across the wall there and don't move in inch. I'll know." She then turned to the Picture of the Fat lady who smiled at her favorite Gryffindor.

"Password love?"

"Those shoes are mine betch."

The portrait swung open, and Hermione was knocked over by the speed of Draco rushing past her.

"Oh Gods! HARRY HE'S RANDY AND HE'S COMEING FOR YOU'R WANKER!!! TAKE COVER!" She then proceeded to run after Draco as fast as her legs could carry her. This was not very far. Then she tripped over something face first, she twisted her

body around and looked near her feet. Oh dear god. Draco's shirt. She got up and ran even faster and falling likewise. Oh sweet Jesus, his socks and shoes.

Harry was indeed in the common room, leaning against a chair, drink in hand, shirt off. The only people in the room how ever, were Ron Weasly, who knew, and Neville Longbottom, who didn't. Now, Harry heard minor yelling yes, but what was being said, and to whom, he didn't. The boys were listing to an American classic rock song, "Come on feel the noise, girls rock your boys." They figured some one forgot there password, and was annoying the fat lady again.

But oh how wrong they were.

A shirtless Draco came dashing into the room, eyes wiled, and practically foaming at the mouth. The sight of Harry's position made him all the more lustful, and he attacked. Harry didn't even have time to blink before he found himself on the floor, arms held down by a Draco, who was ravishing him thoroughly. Harry happily complied and decided to try this domination thing Draco was always doing. He didn't succeed, but it didn't matter.

Of course, at the same time, Harry's drink (Which happened to be alchaholic,) fell into the fire, causing a huge ball of fire to shoot out of the fire place, and connecting with Ron's beautiful hippy, John Lennon friendly hair, and caused him to run around the room in circles screaming bloody murder. Neville on the other hand, was convinced Malfoy was trying to harm Harry, to innocent, and blinded to see what was really going on, he was hitting Malfoy with his wand, seeming to forget he was in Hogwarts, a place were they taught magic. Draco and Harry on the other hand, were too busy trying to get as close together as possible, and making a mess of each other, to notice. At this point in time, all these people forgot they had wands, and what was worse, they were holding them the whole time.

And this is what Hermione had walked into, and was fallowed closely behind by Ginny and Lavender, who had helped a fallen Hermione.

All hell broke loose.

Ginny was snapping pictures with the camera Collin had let her barrow, Hermione was trying to catch up with Ron, while attempting to throw a cooling spell, and Lavender stared at the two boys trying to tare each others pants off, while a Neville had thrown him self on top of Draco's back, giving Lavender the impression of a horrible cowboy role play gone wrong, and desiring to show them the right way.

So, she did just that. While Neville was pounding Draco's back, yelling about the war having ended and to leave their hero alone, or else, Lavender was shouting and pointing at were Neville should really place his hands, and demanding the other two to pay a little more attention to Neville, and telling them they need to work on how to take their clothes of on odd positions.

Ginny was snapping away at everything, and mainly at the four on the rug. Laughing at what she now could do with these pictures, and the wonderful power she would obtain. Oh yes, black mail was in the future. She turned to take a picture of her flaming brother.

"RON! STOP RUNNING THIS INSTINT! YOU ARE JUST KEEPING THE FIRE GOING!"

"NO, I NEED TO AIR IT OUT! OH DEAR GOD! MY HAIR, MY HAIR! HELP ME! CAST A SPELL, DO SOMETHING!"

"I'M TRYING BUT IT'S HARD TO SWISH AND FLICK WHILE RUNNING AROUND IN CIRCLES AT AN EXHUBERANT SPEED FOR A VAST AMOUNT OF TIME!"

"THAT'S RIGHT! BLOW IT OUT! KEEP TALKNG HOT USELESS AIR!"

Hermione stopped to catch her breath when she remembered a phrase she had learned in kindergarten, if something like this ever happened.

"STOP DROP AND ROLL RON! NOW! NOW! "

Ron did as he was told, and while the fire did go out, he rolled into the confused yet randy group of four. Harry and Draco stood up and kissed their way to the next room, a closet actually, and continued their little romp while leaving there pants behind, but they still had their boxers on, not that any one would notice. Lavender was on the floor, with a Neville, who fell off Draco's back when he decided it was just getting too crowded on the floor, on top of her, and Ron under both of them.

"Gods! I wasn't too sure that I belonged in this house! But mom was right! I do feel right at home!"

Lavender yelled, grabbing Ron, and kissing him senseless, leaving Neville confused and getting ready to run after Harry before Hermione Put them all in a body bind. Ginny, all the while was snapping away like a Louis Lane on crack and a Mountain Dew induced sugar high.

"Ok, now that everything is calmed down I can clear some things up. But first, Silencio.

Now I won't have to worry about talking over other people. Ron, you are a wizard. You can magic the hair come back. If you ever freak out, and flake out, in another stupid accident again, I'll make sure John Lennon comes back and hits you with his microphone. Lavender, they were not having a threesome.

"Yes, Harry and Draco are gay, but Neville is not, and thought Draco was attacking Harry. Every one listen to what I am about to say. Neville, yes, Draco was attacking Harry, but only because they haven't done anything for three days, and Draco will get what he wants, when he wants it. Yes, they are dating, and have been for a year. Now, I'm going to let you all free, and I want no questions about what happened, and we will not mention this to anyone, right Ginny? Ginny……"

There was no reply. Ginny, being the smart, clever girl she is, ran off as fast as she could out the common room, and into the halls, taking a third left, and up four flights of stairs to her secrete hideout and decided the evidence needed to disappear for now. She cringed as she made her way back to the portrait, and heard six people screaming her name.

She started to run down to the kitchens to hide, and made it to the head of the stairs when she heard the portrait open, and slid down the railing, to the bottom of the stairs and was almost to the bowl of fruit painting. She smiled, knowing the group would only be halfway down the stairs by now, and she would be out of their sight momentarily, when she ran into a thick, black mass of robes.

"Well, well, well, If it isn't Miss. Weasly…….."

A/N That's it for chapter two. I have not been able to write for a while, due to being sick, and I am in the middle of finales, so my free time is limited too coughing up my lounges, blowing my nose every ten minutes, and trying to speak Spanish while writing History notes. So please, stay with me. Reviews please! Share this story with your friends! Any and all ideas are welcome. I get my best chappies and the plot bunny just lives off them. I also need a new boy for Ginny and Lavender, a new girl for Ron!