A/N - Thanks for sticking with me after that last chapter. Sorry it was so gut-wrenching. Again, pay attention to POV. Though it's mostly Jane, there are times I'll switch to Jackie & Karen's story.

(Janes POV)

I wake up with a raging headache. I feel like I haven't slept in days, even though I had lost consciousness some hours before. The ever-present empty hole in my chest is the second thing I feel. My first thought when I wake every morning is also my last thought as I fall asleep, if you can call it that, every night. Maura. How long has it been since she died? Six months? Seven? Honestly, I don't know. I lost track of weeks, days, even hours a long time ago. My only saving grace is the calender in my kitchen. I wish I could go back to the day before. I wish I could have told her so many things. Things would have been so much different, if I had only known.

I couldn't explain why I felt in a bad mood. It seemed that anything anyone did just irked me to no end. I tried to stay in bed as long as possible, so I wouldn't snap at Maura this morning. I got ready as quick as possible to meet her at the car. No use in making us late and having us both in a bad mood.

The beginning of the ride was silent. Maura drove, watching the traffic while I simply stared out the window at the moving horizon.

"Are you feeling okay? You slept so long, I wondered if you were going to get up at all. Is your stomach upset? Head hurting? Sore anywhere?"

I simply shook my head, answering all the questions in one movement. I couldn't even open my mouth, form any words, without fear of saying something to hurt her more than not speaking at all. I felt her hand on my leg. Even if I'm not the happiest person right now, that still never fails to bring a smile to my face. I glance into her honey-hazel eyes and see they're full of worry. I put my hand on hers, intertwining our fingers, and gave a quick squeeze. I can't stand the look of worry on her face, especially when I know I'm the reason it's there.

If only I had only known, I would have said "I love you" with every breath I had. I would have stared into her eyes the entire way to work, so I would never forget. Hell, I may have missed work all together, just to spend the day with her. If only I had known.

Finally, I summon the strength to get out of bed. Not having been actual family, I wasn't granted a long leave of absence from work after Maura died. Still, the department understood. I had been back at work for a few months now, but it was never the same. I felt like I was going through the motions, just trying to survive the day. As I get dressed, go through my normal morning routine, my thoughts rarely leave thoughts of her. I'm not on the verge of tears when I catch a glimpse of something that belonged to her, but the ache in my chest is still there, always there. It reminds me that I'm still alive. Grabbing a cup of coffee, I run out the door.

As I walk into the office, it looks like it does every day. People bustling around, quiet hum of conversations. Something feels off, though. I can't quite place it. A sweeping glance through the room doesn't seem to pick up anything different. As I walk my desk, I steal a glance at Frost sitting at his desk. He doesn't look me in the eye. Why doesn't he look me in the eye? Maybe he didn't see me.

"Hey, Frost, why the glum look?"

He looks at me and quickly looks away, mumbling something indecipherable.

I see Korsak in my peripheral vision. "G'morning, Korsak!"

"Jane." Between the look on his face and the tone of his voice, my body suddenly feels like ice. "Jane, there's something I need to tell you."

I suddenly feel claustrophobic. I look around the room with panicked eyes, trying to find an escape. Korsak takes my arm and leads me to an interrogation room. Without the prying eyes, I feel I can breathe a little better. I quickly sit in the nearest chair, not sure how long my legs would hold me.

"Jane, it's about Maura. Or, rather, the person that shot her. They're back." My body begins to shake, the room starts to darken. I grasp on the table to find balance, holding on to reality.

"H... how? How do you know? What are they after?" I can barely form coherent thoughts, much less words. I thought that nightmare had ended. I thought I was going to find some sort of balance in life again.

"A letter came, addressed to you. The return address had Maura's name, though it wasn't in her handwriting. Knowing you're still recuperating from her death, I took the liberty of opening it. There was a letter inside. All it said was 'It's not over.'"

Scenes from that day flash through my mind again. The confusion, the sounds, the emotions. It's all playing like it's happening all over again. If only I hadn't froze. I couldn't move. Something felt so wrong, so out of place. I couldn't place it. I was the one on the rescue mission, but I couldn't move until I placed my discomfort. Then I watched Maura race into the open lot to grab the child. Her compassion overriding her instincts. Then, as if in slow motion, seeing her pick up the child and turn. I saw the determination, the hope in her eyes. Hope for the child's rescue, saving the child's life. Then the bullet, coming from nowhere, hitting the child, causing them both to falter. Suddenly, they both fell. I yelled so loud, it didn't seem like my voice. Not caring anymore, I raced towards them. As I pull the child's dead weight off Maura. I see the blood spreading on Maura's clothes. No longer just the child's blood, but her own mixed in it. The bullet went clean through the child and into Maura's chest. All I could do is hold her, waiting for the ambulance to arrive.

The tears won't stop, can't stop. Reliving that day so many months ago, my heart shatters. I can't help but feel like I'm watching Maura die in my arms all over again. A deep cry from my chest brings me back to the present. I notice I'm no longer sitting at the table. I'm sitting on the ground in near hysteria. Korsak is holding my arms, trying to call me back. As my focus becomes sharper, his grip loosens.

"I can't do this. I can't go through this again."

"I know. I also know you have a lot of vacation and sick time built up. I'm demanding, not requesting, you take a leave of absence. At least until this is cleared up. You need to step away from this case and let us handle it."

As his words sink in, I start to feel defeated. I've never been unable to handle my job before. Slowly, I nod. Even I have to know when to throw in the towel. I hear Korsak getting up off the floor. I look up to see him offering his hand to help me do the same.

"I'll leave you alone so you can calm down. Your leave of absence starts right now."

As I walk out of the precinct, the tears are threatening to spill again. I can't stop shaking, even though it's warm outside. I'm not sure I can handle this. I'm not sure my heart can survive. The ever-strong, ever-put-together Jane Rizzoli died along with the love of my life. My world shattered with that one bullet. Now, it's starting all over again. As I sit in my car, my tears spill over. With it being in the middle of the morning, the parking lot is deserted of people. My body shakes as a sob.

Finally, I'm able to somewhat see straight to drive. I'm not sure if I should go home, where memories will surely assault my every sense, or somewhere else. Everything in me and around me is so messed up. I can't pinpoint what I want, what I need or what I crave right now. Every sensation only lasts but a split second before another assaults it.

Afraid to go home, I start driving aimlessly. Even here, in the car, driving familiar streets, the memories come. I see Davios up ahead. Probably one of the best nights of my life...

As I walked into Davios behind Maura, I could see all eyes turn to us. Why wouldn't they? She's the most beautiful creature in the world. While I know this is true every day, it was exceptionally true this day. I had asked her to dress in her best top-notch clothes that night. Tonight was going to be the biggest surprise of them all. I slipped past Maura to get to the host. "Rizzoli, party of two."

"Ah, yes, Ms. Rizzoli. Right this way, ma'am."

I took Maura's hand as we follow the host to the table. I can sense the pairs of eyes discreetly watching us walk past. My heart swells with pride, having this heavenly creature be mine.

As we sit down, I watch as Maura finally takes a chance to look around the restaurant. "Wow, Jane, this place is really fancy. Nothing like the places you usually pick." Finally, her gaze rests upon my face, registering my fidgety hands. Her eyes squint, her head tilted in the way I love. "What are you up to?"

With a gleam in my eye, I just smile. As the waiter approaches to get our drink order, it gives me a bit of a distraction. I feel like I'm about to break out in song and dance. I'm positive that would NOT go well in this place. Maybe the Dirty Robber would just laugh and play along, but I'm this place would surely kick us out and never let us come back. I've had this night planned out in my head for weeks. Now that it's here, I've started getting nervous.

With my nervousness temporarily out of mind, I give the server my drink order and Maura gives hers. After he turns and leaves, I maintain small talk with Maura while looking at the menu. I make sure to steer the conversation away from the purpose of the expensive location. Although my stomach was in knots, I still knew I had to eat something. Finally, I decided on the Asparagus Ricotta Tortelli. When the server returned with our drinks, we placed our orders. I watched him walk away before I looked back at Maura.

"So, when do I find out the purpose of all this?" Maura says as she waves her hands, taking in the environment.

"Patience, my dear, is a much needed virtue." I say with a gleam in my eye. "It will be greatly rewarded, I promise."

With a resigned look and her gorgeous smile on her beautiful face, she nods.

I take a deep breath. "How have I been so blessed, lucky beyond measure, to be with a woman like you? I'll never quite get it." I feel myself starting to get emotional, so I close my eyes. "But I will never take it for granted. It will ALWAYS blow my mind. I love you with my whole heart, soul and mind."

Finally, I get the courage to open my eyes. As I fully expected, tears have filled Maura's eyes. "Honey, I... I don't even know what to say. That was beautiful." I blush and smile, not sure what else to say. Sentimental words have never come easy for me. Just another magic this woman has done to me. She takes my hands and looks into my eyes. "All I will say is 'Thank you.' That means the world to me."

When the food came, we were still in the exact same position. Reluctantly, we let go of each others' hands in order to eat.

After we finished the meal, we sat for a few minutes, letting our food digest. "That was absolutely the best meal I've had in a long time. For whatever reason, I thank you."

Almost too full to move, I knew I had one more thing to do. "I need to use the restroom. Be back in a few minutes." I kiss her hand as I get up to leave. As I walk away, I can feel her watching me. Guess it'll have to wait until I'm on my way back.

As I leave the restroom, I run into our server. "Can you bring your best champagne to our table in about 5 minutes?" I hand him something from my pocket. "And slip this in my companion's glass."

With a nod, he says, "As you wish, ma'am."

As I approach Maura, she's gazing in the distance, mindlessly playing with her napkin. "What's happening in that big brain of yours, my dear?"

As her eyes come into focus, she smiles. "Just thinking about you and how lucky I am to have you."

"Always a good thought process." I watch out of the corner of my eye as our server approaches with the wine.

"Ma'am, as you requested."

"Jane! You've done so much tonight already! You didn't need to get wine as well!"

I just grin and start pouring. As she lifts her glass to toast, her eye catches the sparkle in the light of her glass. With an audible gasp, she clutches her hands to her chest. I get up from my chair and fish the ring out of the glass. As I get down on one knee, Maura's eyes fill with tears. "Maura, the love of my life. I meant every word I said earlier. I love you more than life itself. I can't imagine living a moment without you. Will you make me the luckiest woman in the world and marry me?"

With tears streaming down her face, she nods. Softly at first, growing in volume, she says, "Yes! Yes, I'll marry you!" I slide the ring on her finger and get up to hug her. The entire restaurant bursts into applause.

When my mind returns to present day, I realize I'm at a bar. I go inside.

(Jackie's POV)

I'm in the middle of an intense conversation with my fiance, Karen, when a movement at the door catches my eye. A dark-haired woman walks in and I stop mid-sentence. When I see her walk in, I get the sensation there's some kind of connection. I don't feel this often, but when I do, it's always spot on. Karen turns to find what's stolen my attention. The woman is looking around for a spot to sit. Our eyes meet for just a split second and the hairs on my neck stand up. She continues on to sit across the room.

My eyes turn back to my wife and I shake my head. "Crazy. I just got chills. As I was saying, I'm tired of trying and trying, just to fail every time. I'm not sure I can cope with another letdown."

Karen takes my hand, "I know, honey. I feel the same way. But we have to keep trying. We both really want this."

I feel my eyes start to fill with tears. "But what if we can't? What if there's a medical reason we can't have them?"

"Then we'll just go to plan B. There's always other options."

Wiping away my tears, I nod. "I'll make an appointment with the doctor tomorrow."