Pain
The town has been transformed in the weeks I've been hiding. Almost everything has been rebuilt, with the addition of new fountain. Right where the whipping post used to be. I walk past the place where the bakery used to be, right now there is nothing but rubble. I can't help but wonder if Peeta has seen this place. I know that it must be a painful reminder of everything he's lost.
Looking around I see many new shops and flowers everywhere. People are going about their days with a smile. It screams so much joy and happiness, Prim would have loved to see this. I hate it. How can these people act like nothing happened? Like so many didn't die! Don't they deserve this too? Before I strangle something I begin running.
Tears stain my cheeks as I run and run deep into the forest until I reach my fathers lake. While there I grab a makeshift fishing pole I leave here and make my attempt to catch some fish for dinner. I know that Greasy Sae would appreciate some fresh meat to cook with. I know I shouldn't be upset about the rebuilding of the town. The people are celebrating their freedom, freedom that I helped give them. But why couldn't Prim be able to see this, to be happy too? Life isn't fair, and I hate it. Soon I cry myself out and focus on fishing.
After a few hours I make my way home with my kill. Two large lake trout should work well. When I walk into the house I hand them to Greasy Sae. Her eyes light up and she thanks me for the fish. I know she is happy to see my out and about again. She then informs me Peeta came by this afternoon while I was out. She said he seemed happy to know I was hunting again and told her he would be by tomorrow again. "Good." I think to myself. This gives me time to prepare. I don't know what I will say to this boy, but part of me is glad I will see him.
Walking upstairs I go to my room and start to get ready for bed. I know tonight won't be a good night. After seeing the new town and thinking so much of Prim I am prepared to face my nightmares. Or so I think. Slipping into my sheets I notice Buttercup once again sitting at my bedside table. "What do you want?" I ask him angrily, but he knows I don't mean it. He comes and settles down next to me in the bed and purrs himself to sleep. I'm not entirely sure what this means, but I accept it and drift off to sleep too.
A giant crowd encircles me in the new town square. Prim, Cinna, Rue, and many, many others, all looking angrily at me. Prim speaks up, "Why are you all celebrating? No one deserves to be happy here! Especially not you Katniss! You killed us all! It's your fault! It's all your fault!" She begins to scream, over and over, louder and louder. I can't run, I can't do anything but sit and watch.
Suddenly I realise its me who's screaming. I'm awake. I'm alone. These things start to regester in my head. Everything is still so foggy though, suddenly I run through my list.
"My name is Katniss Everdeen, I live in district 12, everyone I love is dead, I'm alone, Peeta is home, I will see him tomorrow." I feel myself calming down somewhat. I repeat this over and over for I don't know how long. Soon I begin to see the sun rise and I decide to go hunting before Peeta gets here.
Jumping out of bed I still feel somewhat dazed from crying for the past few hours. I quickly change into my clothes and run out the door. I avoid looking around the town this morning and make my way to the forest. I hunt for a good while and haven't gotten anything when suddenly I see the little flick of a tail. I know there is a squirrel, and I toss some nuts on the ground a few feet in front of me. Sure enough this fat squirrel comes out of the brush and before he can do anything I nail him right in the eye. I can't help but think back to before the first games when Peeta commented on my hunting abilities.
After a few hours I settle for the squirrell and walk back home, handing it to Greasy Sae as I walk in the kitchen. Again her eyes brighten and she looks over to me when she says " I'll make you two something special for today." I nod and go upstairs to shower and change. I decide to put my hair in a bun since I want to hide my bald spots that haven't quite grown back yet.
Just as I reach downstairs and smell the wonderful food cooking I walk into the kitchen to talk to Greasy Sae about the meat when I find myself face to face with Peeta.