Tree Hill hasn't changed much since I've been gone, not that I expected it to. People always say that places seem smaller when you go back but that's not the case. Nothing in Tree Hill is small to me. Every corner of this town has too many memories - good and bad - for it to ever be small. I glance at my watch as I pull my care into the parking spot. It's getting late, I really should get back to Karen's soon. God Bless Karen for taking me in until the house is ready. Plus, El will wonder where I am if he wakes up and I'm not there. Not that he'll wake up though, he could sleep through almost anything. Still, I do need to get back. I just have one place I need to go before everyone knows I'm in town and the circus begins. I slowly climb out of the car, shut the door and make my way towards the sand. I can see a solitary figure standing at the edge of the water as I approach and my heart stops. It's him. He doesn't even have to turn around and I know it's him. I would know him anywhere. He looks deep in thought as I approach and I don't want to disturb him. I just want to look at him for a moment. My sweet Nathan. He sighs before turning around. He freezes when he sees me and I can tell his completely shocked. I can't really blame him, I'm sure I'm the last person he was expecting to see. God knows I wasn't expecting to see him tonight.
"Brooke?" His voice brings back way too many memories for my liking and tears immediately fill my eyes. I don't know if it's possible, but I think he's gotten even more handsome in the last three years. I can't help but smile a little.
"Hi Nathan." My voice is almost shaking I'm so nervous. My heart is racing just by being in the same vicinity as him and the way he's looking at me right now would make it so easy for me to fall back into old patterns. But I can't give in. I have to keep my head. I have to think about Elliot. Everything I do affects him now. It's not just me anymore.
"Brooke…" Nathan takes a step toward me. That's all it takes to break me. God, I am so unbelievably weak when it comes to this man. I close my eyes momentarily. Why do I bother fighting? When it comes to Nathan Scott, it always seem to be a loosing battle. Tears spill down my cheeks. I've spend three years dreaming about this moment, wondering what it would be like to see him again. Oh screw it! I throw myself towards him and cling to him as tightly as I possibly can. His arms circle my waist without hesitation and I revel in the feeling. God, I'd forgotten what this feels like. I'd forgotten how right it always felt to be in Nathan's arms. I bury my face in his shoulder, my tears soaking his shirt. "Brooke. Oh God, Brooke." He murmurs over and over into my hair and I hold onto him tighter, breathing in his scent. He even smells the same. It's like no time has past at all. After several minutes, I reluctantly pull away and for the first time really look up into his eyes. I've missed those eyes. "What are you doing here?" His hands are still on my waist and he's clearly still in shock. "Lucas said you wouldn't be here until next week."
"Yeah, I just wanted a few days to compress. Karen was kind enough to take me in. She's the only one who knows I'm in town." I shrug. "It's a lot you know. Coming home after all this time." He nods and smiles a little, brushing the hair form my and I'm jolted by how easy and familiar it feels. How can he still have this effect on me? After all these years, how can Nathan Scott still make my heart race and my head spin the way it is right now?
"I missed you Brooke." His voice is low. I can hear the confliction that I know he's feeling because I'm feeling it too.
"I missed you too." We're both silent for a moment. "Ugh, you were about to go when I showed up. Please don't let me keep you." I almost laugh when he looks at me as though I've completely lost my mind. Although, to be honest, there is a part of me that wishes he would go because I can't think clearly when he's around. Of course, there's a bigger part of me, a much more selfish part, that needs him to stay because three years away from him has been torture and so much has happened that he doesn't even know about. "OK." I nod. I slowly sit down and pat the ground next to me. He smirks a little and I know he's thinking the same thing I am. He lowers himself next to me and I can feel the warmth emanate from his body. "How's Haley?" I ask, partly because I want to avoid the conversation I know he wants to have and partly because I really have missed her. Just because I am the worst kind of friend possible, it doesn't mean I don't love her.
"She's good." He says after a moment as he kicks at the sand a little. "She's happy you're moving home. She's really missed you." I smile sadly. I don't deserve her missing me.
"So, she doesn't hate me for leaving?" I know it's a selfish thing to ask and in light of the other things I've done to Haley, moving out of Tree Hill is the least of my worries on why she would hate me.
"No, she doesn't hate you." Nathan's blue eyes are soft as he turns to look at me. "She just missed you." He says again and pauses as his eyes search mine. "Why did you leave, Brooke?" His voice cracks a little and there it is, the question I've been trying to avoid since he turned around.
"You know I had to Nate." God, what the hell am I doing here? I left Tree Hill to get away from this. I've been back in town a few hours and already Nathan and I are right back where we were. This is never going to end.
"You just left without a word. We barely got a goodbye." I can hear the pain in his voice and it hurts to know that I'm the cause of it. I hate that I'm the reason he's hurting.
"I couldn't be here. It hurt to much watch you with her. I knew that if I was around, you would always be glancing over your shoulder wondering what if. You and Haley deserved a chance to be happy." I brush the tears from my face. "And I was right, you guys are happy."
"Where have you been?" He asks the next logical, safe question and I'm grateful for that. I don't know if I can handle Nathan pressing me any further about why I left.
"I went to California first, spent some time with my folks. Then I remembered I couldn't stand them so I moved to New York." Nathan laughs and my heart is warmed just a little when I see his smile. I didn't want this for him. I know that my return to Tree Hill has thrown his whole life into chaos and I didn't want that but I needed to come home and I wanted to believe that after three years he and I could pretend like those eight months never happened.
"Why did you decide to come back?" He glances at me. There's a tiny spark in his eyes; a tiny piece of him that wonders if I came back because of him.
"Ugh, well, you know I loved living in Manhattan." I pause for a moment, wondering how to explain this. "But I wanted a home and you can't build the kind of home I want in the middle of the city." My mind wandered to Elliot. My biggest reason for moving. "Plus, I had to think about Elliot and where would be the best the place for us to start our life over."
"Elliot?" Nathan looks at me slightly confused. "Is he your boyfriend? Husband?" He glances at my bare left hand and I would have laughed out loud if I hadn't seen the anguish in his eyes. He thinks I moved on. He couldn't have been further from the truth if he tried.
"Nathan, Elliot's my son."