The Ero Brew
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"Oi oi oi! Bastard, wake up!" Sanji shouted, shaking Zoro hard on the shoulder. "Wake up you mosshead or I'll seriously kick your bollocks to the seven seas and beyond!"
"Nnnn..." Zoro groaned, trying to open his eyes. Since he had fallen asleep on deck, the sun was glaring down at him. Zoro shielded his eyes from the blinding light and his gaze fell on the naked cook beside him. The redfaced indignant cook. Steam was practically coming out of his nose and he had murder in his eyes. "Shitty... Cook?"
"Yeah, it's a shitty day, you shitty Marimo! What did you do to me last night?" Sanji cried out.
Zoro slowly sat up, noticing both their state of undress. And the dried crusty cum on his chest. At first even Zoro was confused why they were in this state. Then he closed his eyes, trying to remember what indeed happened. "I was keeping watch. Here. On the deck, last night. Then you came out to talk and you gave me that drink..."
Zoro glowered at Sanji. "Oi, cook, you gave me that despicable concoction that you got from that witch downtown!"
"Yes, I did! And then – And then –" Sanji could remember everything that happened, even though he was sure he had been drunk last night. That brew seriously packed in a punch, even stronger than any whiskey he had ever tasted. "You... kissed me... You fucking kissed me, you asshole!"
Zoro flinched, remembering it as well.
How the hell did that happen? Their watch had started with just companiable silence between them last night, while both of them drank the brew, staring at the blackness of the sea.
When they had both finished their drink, they simply glanced at each other.
Zoro had reached out for Sanji and Sanji clasped the swordsman's hand, not intending to let go. It was indeed Zoro who had dipped his head to kiss Sanji but –
"You had practically begged me last night to fuck you!" Zoro snarled, standing up, as naked as the day he was born.
Being that it was morning, Zoro couldn't help but be stiff in his nether regions, a fact that did not escape Sanji's blue eyes. That thick monstrosity nearly poked his eye out. "Will you put your pants on, you stinking Marimo?"
Sanji's heart was beating wildly in his chest. One factor was of course this mishap that happened between them, two drunken idiots who thought grappling in the dark was a good form of a sexual outlet as any.
The other reason why Sanji was flushing in embarrassment was because Zoro was standing right before him in all his naked glory, displaying his perfectly ripped arms and taut stomach.
And that – that lovely appendage of him which Sanji remembered he couldn't get enough of last night. Damn it! How did that happen? He was a man! A ladies man. He loved the ladies. How in the world did he feel that kind of desire for this shitty mosshead?
It was a fluke! A mistake!
Zoro did not move to hide his nudity and his stiff shaft. He merely looked down on the blond cook who looked so agitated he also couldn't seem to remember he was naked as well. "I didn't beg you to fuck me," Sanji emphasized. "You're out of your mind!"
"Oh, yes you did. You were wriggling your hips like this and whispering 'More, more, more' to my ears last night and I couldn't hold back because you were so freaking unbelievably hot and it was –" Zoro stopped talking, suddenly blushing at what he said. Did he just actually admit that Sanji was hot?
As in, sexually hot?
Damn, what was he thinking? Zoro wiped his sweaty face, turning away from the Cook's incredulous look. They were both going out of their minds! "Listen, Pervy Cook. I don't do men."
"Well, neither do I! I love women!"
"Well why didn't you resist me last night?" Zoro screamed down at Sanji. "You could have punched me or something! Or kicked me, for crying out loud!"
"I don't knoooow!" Sanji cried out, standing as well and engaging in a screaming contest with Zoro. "You kissed me!" he accused the Marimo.
"And you didn't fight me back!?"
"Then why the hell did you kiss me in the first place?"
"Because – " Zoro paused, not knowing how to say what was on his mind. What was he going to say, that he suddenly felt this overwhelming lust towards the cook that's why he simply jumped him?
Roronoa Zoro was a freaking swordsman, his skills born out of sweat and blood that flowed in the battlefield with warriors like him. He was strong. He was manly. He didn't do men.
Then Zoro turned towards the bottle of Ero Brew. "That's it! You bewitched me! You fucking made me drink that potion so that I'd sleep with you!"
And that was when Sanji saw red. Using his superhuman speed, he smashed his leg onto the side of Zoro's face, hitting him squarely. "Shithead! Who wants to sleep with a stinking Marimo like you?"
Zoro fell on the deck with that kick but in his anger he swiftly got back up to retaliate.
And the two of them began fighting on the deck, destroying almost half of it with their unnaturally strong punches and kicks. Yeah, they seriously fought naked.
They were still wrestling on the floor, both with the intent to kill the other off when they heard Luffy and the gang from the ground. They both stopped struggling against each other and exchanged a look of worry.
They almost destroyed the deck of the Sunny, plus they were both naked as jailbirds. How were they going to explain this situation to their captain?
Zoro and Sanji immediately went to their clothes, dressing quickly as possible, as if their lives depended on it. When they were decent enough, though still looking dishevelled, and even Sanji's shirt was unbuttoned, they surveyed the damage to the deck.
Nami was going to have both their necks for this.
It was only a matter of time...
"WHAT THE HELL?" A woman's voice screeched angrily. Zoro and Sanji were both afraid to turn towards Nami to face her wrath. "Zoro! Sanji! Can't we leave you alone for one night without destroying our ship? Who is responsible for thiiiis?" Nami was screaming, her eyes murderous.
"Tsk!" Zoro uttered, glaring at Sanji.
Sanji glared back at him, mouthing, I'll kill you.
Luffy, turning to Franky, deadpanned. "I think you've got some more work cut out for you."
Franky could only sigh. "Looks like it."
Nami was still mad as hell. "What is wrong with you, two? Can't you really work together?"
The two pirates looked both remorseful and in his agitated state Sanji couldn't make any of his trademark flirting towards his Nami-swan. He just seriously needed to take a shower to remove the sticky evidence of his sexual encounter last night with Zoro. And possibly to remove the memory of it from his mind.
With uncharacteristical gloominess, Sanji spoke to Nami, "Let me shower first and I'll help Franky with the repairs."
Nami simply glared at him, crossing her arms on her chest.
Zoro reached out and grabbed Sanji by the arm. "You got some kitchen duties, Shitty Cook. I'll help Franky."
Zoro and Sanji exchanged a long pointed look, which the other pirates interpreted as the usual antagonism towards each other. Sanji turned away, shaking off his arm from Zoro's grip. "Knock yourself out, stupid Marimo!"
Zoro merely watched Sanji with an expressionless face as the cook sauntered towards the kitchen.
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Okay, so I said it'll be a twoshot, right? Now, I'm not so sure. But don't worry. I already have the outline in my head so I know where this is going.
Thanks for reading!