As it would turn out, Julian and Logan's relationship blossomed. Sure, they still had petty arguments. Insults would be tossed back and forth, none of them bothering the two boys because beneath all the anger and bravado, they loved each other. They didn't need the rest of the world, they were their own world. But what do you do when your world is taken from you?
Logan woke up one Saturday morning a few weeks after the Valentine's Day Fair and went off in search of breakfast. Piling food onto a seldom used tray, the prefect climbed the stairs of Stuart House stopping in front of Julian's door. Without bothering to knock, Logan opened the door to his boyfriend's room to find it empty.
Odd, thought Logan. Jules is never up this early on a Saturday.
The blond walked across the hall to Derek's room, searching for the actor. After knocking loudly on the wooden door, the half-asleep boy opened the door.
"Have you seen Julian today?" asked Logan. After everything with the stalker Logan wasn't going to take any chances.
"No, it's eight o'clock. He's probably sleeping," replied Derek.
"He's not in his room," was all Logan said before turning around and walking away from the confused boy in the doorway. Derek just shrugged his shoulders and went back to bed. It was too early for this.
Logan walked out of the dormitory, checking the common room as he went. Where was Julian? Did that crazed stalker finally get to him? No. Logan wouldn't let it happen. He would save Julian at all costs.
It was these thoughts clouding his mind that caused Logan to lose all consciousness of where he was walking, even when his path took him right into another blazer clad boy.
"Sorry," Logan muttered as he walked past.
"What, bored of me already? And here I was thinking we would live happily ever after," replied a voice that Logan would recognize until his dying day.
"Jules? Where have you been? I was worried. You weren't in your room," Logan replied with an angry tone.
"I had a meeting to go to. And why were you in my room?" Julian asked, more amused than angry as Logan's face flushed a brilliant red.
"I brought you breakfast," Logan mumbled under his breath. "And if this is the thanks I get for it then I won't bother next time."
Julian was struck by the thoughtfulness of Logan's actions. Even in his wildest dreams, Julian didn't dare to hope for Logan to be this caring, this wonderful of a boyfriend. It wasn't like he had a lot to live up to with his past relationships with Blaine and Joshua.
"Wow, Logan. I'm sorry. I didn't know. That's… Really sweet. Thank you." Julian took Logan's hand in his and kissed his cheek lightly. "But we need to talk." And with that, Julian turned and walked away, heading for the overgrown garden that grew adjacent to Stuart House.
This was it, thought Julian. Time for reality. But with everything going so wonderfully, did he really have the strength to do this?
Oh no, thought Logan. Please don't let this be about that deranged stalker of his. I can't lose him. I won't let it.
Both lost in their own thoughts, the walk to the garden was silent, like the calm before a storm. And here they were, caught in the crashing waves of reality.
"So, what's wrong?" Logan asked as they both sat on a weathered stone bench. "Why are we here? What's happened?"
"Nothing yet," replied Julian. "But," he continued, cutting off Logan's attempt at speech. "We can't do this."
Logan took a minute to process what Julian said. This… What was this? Did he mean their relationship? Did he want to break up? But why? Wasn't it Julian who said he had been in love with Logan for three years?
Finally, Logan spoke. "What… What do you mean 'this'?"
"I mean us," Julian replied. "I had a meeting with Dean Ramsey. I told her about the incident after the fair and the message my stalker sent. I've been assigned a bodyguard."
"So?" Logan exploded. "So what if there's some guy hanging around you. I don't care! Why the hell is that a reason to break up?" Logan demanded.
"Nobody knows I'm bi, Lo. They can't know. It would… It would ruin me. I don't know if I can. With this bodyguard following me around constantly, how am I supposed to hide us? Huh? And as soon as he knows, the whole world will! No one can keep a damn secret anymore!"
"No one but you, Jules." Logan said calmly, his voice steady but the pain was obvious. "Only you would be able to hide from the whole world. Only you can run from everyone who loves you. Only you Julian." Logan was yelling now. How could Julian do this? How can he take this all away?
Julian stood in front of Logan, taking the brunt of his tirade. He knew Logan would be angry. He knew Logan would find this cowardly and stupid. Logan, always proud of who he was. There wasn't a force in the universe that could stop Logan from getting something, or someone he wanted. Julian wanted his courage. Julian wanted to announce to the world that finally, after three years, Logan Wright was his. But he couldn't.
"I can't believe your running like this! What are we supposed to do? Act like none of this ever fucking happened? How am I supposed to do that? I fucking love you!" Logan broke then, tears falling from his eyes like rain as he sunk to the ground like a sailboat caught in a hurricane, unable to stay afloat. Yes, the storm had finally come and they were right in the middle. Neither would come out alive because neither could survive without the other. It was like cutting off a limb. Ever since freshmen year, they had been close. Logan was never the same when Julian left for filming; he was even more irritable and unstable. Somehow, Julian balanced him out. Even though on the outside, it looked as though they hated each other, they were as close as two people can get. Now, with the added closeness of dating, how were they supposed to just not be together? It was like trying to stop breathing.
But somehow Julian found the strength to get up, to walk out of the garden and into the dormitory where he could still hear the occasional sob coming from the garden. Julian was wrong, that had been far harder than secretly loving Logan because never, in the last three years, did he have to see Logan cry, and that hurt deeper than any pain he had ever had because it was Julian's fault. Julian had made Logan break.