Thanks to everyone with the warm welcome to this new journey. I am very happy for the reception this fic has gotten and I promise it won't be in vain. There is a plethora of reasons why I chose Lauren instead of Bo and the one that won over everything was the plot and storyline. Where I could take this fic changed drastically with which of the ladies I chose and ultimately Lauren won for many many reasons including the comical relief to an otherwise heavy story. As always I can't wait to see your opinions in the reviews after this chapter. I love reading each and every one of your theories, compliments and even critics. Happy reading.

Cheers eh!

Last_Dragomir

Disclaimer: All Lost Girl characters belong to their rightful owners, I'm just contributing with my own storylines and character development.

Chemicals Between Us

Chapter 02:

"Can you get out please?" my voice was thick with desire and it came out slightly more forceful than I had intended to.

"No! Where's my girlfriend? Why are you in the bathroom?" she spat as I shut off the water and reached for my towel "Don't you dare use my babes towel."

I drew a sigh and gave her a level look as I reached for said towel and wrapped it around my torso flinching at the contact against my eyebrow furrowed in anger but it was now with all this pent up sexual energy I had been carrying around all day that I realized how tired I really was. I couldn't look at Bo, her image bringing me more arousal than I could handle at the moment.

I listened as she groaned frustrated and as I was about to pass her to leave the room her hand landed on my firm chest to stop me. Our eyes met and I could see the wheels in her head turning as she licked her lips. I took a deep breath trying to compose myself. It was as if the big white marble and blue tiled bathroom wasn't big enough for the both of us at the moment and I felt constricted.

"I… who are you?" her voice was barely a whisper "You're lighting up like a firework, like my girlfriend does…"

"I know, no matter what body I am in I still want you no less Ysabeau." My voice came out raspy but the way I had worded myself made her eyes go wide as if realization had struck her.

"What…" her eyes searched mine and I could see recognition as she scanned over my features.

I let my eyes avert from her own at the first sight of horror in them. She had finally grasped that it was me it seemed. I just wanted to lay down, go to bed and wake up normal again. I wanted my life back, it wasn't perfect and I was sick, but it was mine.

"I'm sorry… I don't know how it happened." I shook my head as I towered over Bo more than I usually did.

"Lauren?" her voice trembled as her hand hesitated as if she wanted to touch me herself but in a second she pulled back filling me with pain.

"I don't know what I was thinking waiting to tell you… tell you what?" I chuckled bitterly "This is absurd, I have no business here right now. I'm going home."

I pushed past her softly but I felt her hand grip my bicep tightly as she turned me around using her Succubus strength. I didn't counter, I was too tired for anything and now my heart was heavy and my mind was clouded. Before I knew it she had crashed her lips against mine, the softness of her lips, the familiarity of her tongue running over my bottom lip made me moan deeply as I opened my mouth and pulled her closer wrapping my arms around her strongly. Our tongues danced with one another in the warmth of our mouths and in this moment I was home, I was me. She pulled away making me whimper and she smiled gently at the sound as her hand came up to caress my cheek.

"Jesus, it really IS you." She whispered and I sighed nodding slightly.

"It's me Bo-beep." I gave her a boyish smile with the nickname I was only allowed to use and she shook her head in disbelief.

"When I saw your aura, I could recognize it… the intensity of it was still you but I was so confused at seeing you like this. Yet you taste the same, your lips are as soft as they've always been, your mouth is just as I remember it this morning… How… how can this be?" she pondered and I dropped my head in frustration.

"I… I don't know what happened or how to fix it." The tremble in my voice sounded as foreign as I imagined the quivering of my chin looked like.

"Oh Lau come here." She breathed pulling me into her arms as I tried to fold my big frame into her embrace. "we'll figure out how to get you back in no time."

"Sometimes I hate being Fae, this is bullshit." I snarled a bit as my temper rose.

"Calm your testosterone there baby," she chuckled as she played with my hair softly.

"uh… babe…" I tried clearing my throat as Bo pulled me closer.

"What? You suddenly won't let me hold you 'cause you're a man now?" Bo whispered in my ear and I closed my eyes letting out a shaky breath.

It was then that my hardness pressed against Bo's thigh and I heard her silk chuckle ring in my ear. It left me with a renewed hunger that I couldn't quite reign in as my hands tightened around Bo's now smaller frame. She was as perfect as ever and just in my other body we fitted like puzzle pieces that belonged with one another. My hands were just the right size to hold the swell of her hip as the other was full with her ass. Bo's hands ran down my collarbone as I swallowed thickly as my whole body became lit with a fire for this woman unlike anything I had ever felt.

"Mmm I see what's going on in here." Bo's whisper made me grunt as her hand trailed down my abs. "I have to say Lau… you've translated quite well into a man."

"Not by choice." I reminded her as I closed my eyes in an attempt at self-control.

I didn't want this body, I didn't want to have sex in it, I loved being a woman and the feelings that entailed. Yet I was such a weak being when it came to Bo no matter what body. She was a Succubus after all, and I wasn't privy to her charms…much less in this unknown body I thought as I opened my eyes again. The moment her eyes met mine it was as if she could read my mind and her eyes softened as she pulled away slightly.

"Hey…" Bo whispered as she pulled my chin towards her as she leaned up for a quick kiss of my lips. "We'll find a solution to this like we do to everything that comes out way."

"I don't like being a man." I grumbled moodily as she gave a laugh and pushed away from me with a smirk.

"I get that honey, I mean; I would be pretty pissed to wake up in your situation." Bo rolled her eyes and I could tell she was amused.

"You fell in love with a woman… I'm a lesbian for fucks sakes!" my deep voice contrasted with my words as well as my erection.

"I fell in love with you Lau and your beautiful soul. I'm a succubus baby a bisexual one at that. I am happy as long as you're happy and to be quite honest the only reason I'm not jumping your sexy as hell bones right now is the fact that I know you're not happy." Bo explained sweetly with a smile.

"Now what?" I asked with a sigh as I tried to relax.

"Now we go talk to Trick and see what he knows that could cause this to happen. He's like the Fae Wikipedia or whatever." Bo joked as I nodded standing up but she shook her head in disapproval.

"No babe. You have to take care of that." She smiled pointing at my erection through the towel as her eyes flashed blue momentarily. "I won't touch you until you're happy in your own skin again babe but you have to relieve yourself before you get blue balls or something along the likes."

With that and a wink she walked out of the bathroom leaving me with this huge problem. I wanted Bo so bad but not like this and even if she could see me as me I couldn't. I was sure we could find a solution quite quickly and then I could be my woman self.

After about half an hour I came into the living room in my suit blushing deeply knowing Bo knew what I had been up to. It was weird at first but slowly- much like urinating- instinct took over. I had gotten lost in how good it actually felt as opposed to what I was doing and before I knew it I had made a mess all over the bathroom which I took way too long to clean. I felt sluggish and worn afterwards and I was slightly embarrassed I lasted so shortly. Even if I didn't want to be a guy I didn't want to be useless in bed.

"Wow." Bo smiled as I came into the room with a pair of dressy shorts and moccasins while a white long sleeved button down covered my massive frame.

"I thought a suit would be a bit much to go to the Dal." I admitted with a smile running my hand through my short blonde hair.

"Wow Lauren- - wait… I can't call you that." Bo furrowed her brow as she closed the distance between us.

"His name is Laurent" Kenzi corrected as she waltzed into the living room taking us in. "Wow you guys make like a porn adonises kind of couple."

"Fuck off." I laughed as they both looked at me in amused astonishment.

"Even his laugh makes me quiver. As if she-he has an accent." Bo declared as I felt proud of myself for the first time in this damn body.

"Well enough with the Brangelina we gotta hit the road I told Hale I'd meet him at the Dal with the likes of the two of you." Kenzi offered as Bo hooked her arm on mine while Kenzi led us out the door.

"I thought you were with Hale for the day." I commented as she rolled her eyes.

"He got a case so he had to run. We're meeting later at the Dal." Her tone held contempt for her boyfriend's job.

"And who am I supposed to be? I mean, what if we fix this tomorrow? I really don't want people remembering me for turning into a guy once." I muttered sullenly as Kenzi laughed and Bo stared at me in shock before getting in the car.

"Out of all your accomplishments in human and Fae medicine alike, you honestly think you'll be remembered as the woman who was a man for a bit?" Bo asked in disbelief as I felt my face redden.

"I guess…" I mumbled as Bo laughed.

The Dal was obviously packed and all eyes were on me AKA the newcomer. It didn't help that Bo practically tore the flirty smile off the first girl that approached me. It was no secret that Bo and I-Doctor Lauren Lewis- were and 'item' so for her to be so protective over a new guy was raising some excitement. I tried to 'blend in' sitting at the bar with Kenzie while Bo went off to look for Trick. The Succubus was starting to get feisty and angry at every turn since I was getting so much attention. Mark came up and served Kenzie and I two shots with an inconspicuous wink towards me.

"What should I call you bruh?" Mark smiled widely pouring me a beer as well.

"I'm Laurent, nice to meet you." I offered my hand and he shook it full on with amusement.

"Of course! How clever, did Kenzie come up with that? It totally sounds like your doing." He accused the young goth as she swatted him away with a smile.

"No comment. I am innocent until proven guilty thank you very much!" Kenzie affirmed further implicating herself with her words.

"How are you liking the lifestyle so far Laurent?" Mark asked mischievously as I gave him a stern look.

"I'll be happier when it's resolved. Let's just say that." I admitted as Kenzie laughed cheering with me as we downed our shots.

"For every woman's sake here and maybe a few guys, I hope that's soon. Wondersnatch has been insufferable since we got here." Kenzie mentioned non-chalantly leaving me floored.

"Wow Kenz, big vocabulary today." I mentioned as she laughed.

"I am practicing to go to the big Police annual with Hale." Kenzie admitted as I smiled genuinely happy for the couple.

I felt a hand on my shoulder slowly make its way to my chest. I smiled turning for sure to meet Bo's eyes but I realized quite abruptly that this was not Bo touching me. The blonde's eyes traveled down my frame with her baby blue eyes drinking me in completely. I could recognize the face but not quite place it. I felt scrutinized and on the spotlight there was a rush of excitement and animosity I couldn't place. It was almost as if I was flattered yet angry, the emotions in this body were giving me whiplash.

"Hello there handsome, what do you say if you and I go somewhere private? Ditch the Tokyo Hotel and Teen Wolf and let yourself get handled by a real woman." The blonde offered and I swallowed as I stood towering over her.

"I'm flattered but I am already here with someone." I admitted as she shook her head and closed the gap between us letting her hand cup my groin as I backed up into the bar to no avail.

"Is it the Succubus? Let me be the first one to tell you she's smitten by a Doctor there's no persuading that one." The blonde whispered as I realized in horror she was grabbing my newest appendage.

I struggled with speaking as I closed my eyes and opened them trying to gather my senses. Before another blink could be held the blonde flew across the bar as Bo came to view between us. I could tell from the air around her she was mad even though her back was towards me. I could hear the snarl building in her throat as I righted myself trying to 'dust off' my clothes and tame the beginnings of an erection.

"What in the actual fuck Stacey?" Bo roared as the blonde staggered up from where Bo had thrown her to.

"Fuck Bo, not every hot piece of ass in the Colony is yours!" The blonde argued from the floor as Bo turned on her heels.

Our eyes met and like always it felt like time was standing still where Bo and I were the only two people that existed. She closed the distance between us fast and her hand found my own to steady me. It was habit since I was already upright and steady in my new body. I guess I was a bit clumsier as a woman, I could certainly argue about wearing heels.

"Are you alright?" Bo's tone was firm but I could hear her concern.

"I'm good." I nodded and glanced at the confused blonde behind us.

"Come on." Bo mentioned as she led me to Trick's private quarters.

My head was spinning with all the excitement and the fact that I felt uncomfortably tight in certain spots was not lost on me. I held back after we were away from the bar but not quite at Trick's yet. I took a deep breath and cleared my throat as Bo turned and met up with me. Her eyes searched my own with a look I couldn't quite place.

"Bo… This doesn't look right. Everyone knows you and I…" I smiled "We're a couple Bo and right now you're acting like I'm… me. I'm not though. People look at us and see a stranger standing next to you."

"You… you are worried about what people think?" Bo asked incredulous.

"I… yes. I mean, when I go back to being me how's it going to look?" I asked as she shook her head.

"Lau…"

"No Bo I'm serious we need some rules or boundaries or something." I mentioned firmly as she searched my eyes to make sure I was serious.

"Do you want to start seeing other people is that it?" Bo's voice was so small that I could barely take it. "I mean 'cause people see me with others from time to time I am a Succubus and with your condition…"

I pulled her into my arms immediately. It was as if the roles had been reversed and I was protecting her for once. From what though? Myself? My old fashioned ways and insecurities? I was already upset that we were the talk of the town since I couldn't feed and Bo had to snack on the side.

"I don't want us to break up." Bo's voice held finality even though it trembled at the end.

"I don't mean us breaking up Bo, I love you. I mean we need to be careful, maybe start acting like friends when we're out in the public eye like this until I can get this resolved." I tried explaining as she pulled apart and gave me a questioning look.

"What if it takes a couple of months… or a year… or what if this is how it is Lau? What then?" Bo's voice was pleading but it sounded far far away.

I could not stay like this. I had to find the answers, I had to be myself. I had a condition to take care of, a hospital to work on, a relationship to fix without these problems. I wouldn't be able to take life in this body when all I wanted was to be a lesbian woman with my hot smoking girlfriend. I could feel my hard chest coming up and down with the ragged breaths I was taking. Was this a panic attack?

"I… I can't Bo.. Oh God." I mumbled in panic as my now deep thick accent covered every word. This wasn't me… I wasn't me.

"Ysabeau are you out here?" Trick's voice came through the hallway breaking our attention.

"I'll be right in Trick." Bo assured disguising the anguish in her voice.

"We'll find a way Laurent." Bo assured before walking into her grandfather's study leaving me behind.

"That's not my name…" I whispered in the darkness not knowing how to really feel.

That night was the first night I laid in my apartment alone. I felt pretty alone after being in not only Bo's company but Kenzie's as well. The talk with Trick had been informative, he was stumped to find out my identity but we narrowed down the possibilities of the source of my transformation. We had decided I had to narrow it down to a contagion or a possible curse. After the visit and the new information Trick advised us to keep this knowledge to ourselves. I was Lauren's cousin and she had gone home for some reason or another. Trick wanted to keep us safe in case somebody had done this with an ulterior motive.

It was after the meeting that I had decided to head home alone. I needed some time for myself to gather all the information Trick thought would be useful. Bo and I both knew if she came with me I'd get distracted by her and not work. The sooner I got things done the quicker I could go back to being myself.

After a short goodbye and a kiss on my cheek Bo had left me in my doorstep ready to tackle the task. I worked fast and diligently gathering data from my daily life as best as I could. I was leaving a margin of a week before my change so I could determine the source of 'contagion' and how I got it. If I could run some lab tests on myself at work I could possibly identify which changes were triggered and by what. Time flew by as I searched, gathered and analyzed. So much so that when I looked at the clock it was already past midnight. Bo had left me home in the afternoon.

In the silence of the empty apartment it was much harder to not let Bo's words cripple me. I wouldn't be happy this way my whole life, Bo wouldn't be happy with me either. She fell in love with a woman and even though I was still essentially me, I knew her love for my curves and femininity was well spoken for from her very lips.

After unsuccessfully trying to calm my racing mind I caved and sent Bo a message hoping to see her tomorrow. I wanted to talk to her and potentially explain how difficult this was for me. I looked down on my large body as I picked at my sports shorts and tanktop. I was so vastly different yet the same. I felt so powerful and strong. I felt like I wanted to weep yet there was a deep barrier preventing me from it. It was a force that would not let me unhinge this emotional turmoil with fresh tears. I was frustrated that I was feeling unfamiliar and overwhelmed in my own body. Who was I if not Lauren Lewis?

Sleep eluded me so long that I gave up on it around three in the morning. I kept myself from texting Bo since I knew she would be sleeping. I knew inevitably I would have to feed tomorrow so I wanted time for myself before facing Bo. After tonight's meltdown I knew I probably had a few things to work on before I was ready to give my very best up for Bo. And Bo deserved that very best guaranteed.

Thing was, I loved Bo and appreciated her efforts towards my condition but people were quick to throw in my face that I was as good as a human now and Bo was not getting it from me. It was humiliating to say the least the fact that the whole Colony knew my girlfriend was sneaking out the back door because of my own weaknesses. Don't get me wrong I loved humans but to be humiliated for the lack of my own powers had left me feeling less than stellar. Combine that with an out of body experience and I was completely out of my element.

Even though it was so late I felt really strung up from the day's events. Without giving it a second thought I popped in my ipod and walked into the spare bedroom I had as a gym. It was clearly meant for a woman with fewer weights and more cardio but I did own a punching bag. Before I knew it I was soaked in sweat jabbing firmly at the bag. I had been at it for more than an hour the way my muscles were feeling but I didn't care. The workout was numbing and the burn in each section was helping me get acquainted with my new body. And the anger…oh boy. I was furious out of nowhere my frustration had turned violent somewhere along the way and I just hated being trapped in this huge mistake.

By the time I heard the chains give from the brute force of that last hit it was too late. I was too unaccustomed to this body and before I knew it the bag and frame had come down on me. As I tried to breathe in lying on the floor a sharp pain overcame my side and I winced knowing what it was. I gingerly pushed the bag off me which hadn't done much to my frame but the wooden plank I used as a stabilizer for the bag had broken one of my ribs. I was as sure of it as I was of my bad luck.

With a groan I managed to get up and lean against a wall. I calmed myself with the fact that if I had been a woman the plank could've crushed my sternum. Small miracles I guess… I walked into my room with huge difficulty and steadying myself with my big palms I managed to reach my phone. I couldn't go to the hospital after Trick had said the fewer knew the better. I dialled the next option and waited.

"Laurent… seriously I cannot fix this so you have two choices and maybe, just maybe you banged up yourself bad enough that those two might become ONLY one choice." Alycia explained.

"Come on, you're like the best nurse I know." I pleaded with her as Dyson scoffed in the background.

"I'm the only nurse you know…" she narrowed eyes at me and I cringed caught.

"I don't want to go to the hospital, I don't have any documentation or anything and it'll make things complicated." I struggled a bit as I talked.

"Then we HAVE to call Bo." Dyson said with finality as I stared him down.

"No! I can't Dyson, I can't be with her like this…" I admitted as his expression softened.

"She doesn't have to be intimate with you to give you Chi, you guys prefer it that way and yes it makes it less painful but still…" Dyson explained and I knew he had been given Chi before as well.

"I don't want her to go… afterwards I mean… It's a big wound" I finally voice firmly as Alycia put a hand on my bicep throwing a sad look at Dyson.

"Lauren—nt I can do it, just this once thought but I…" Dyson offered as Alycia nodded.

"It'll be to help you. Laurent you need this healed or you might die. If you move too sharply you could rupture your lung. I know I'm preaching to the choir right now. Please… I am fine with this as long as you let us help you." Alycia begged as I looked down.

Impotence. That's apparently what brought men to tears. It sure as hell brought me to tears now as I silently nodded and Dyson rushed out of the room to call Bo. Alycia was right, she WAS preaching to the choir and I knew she was right in her assessment of my wounds. She wasn't the only nurse I knew, but a very qualified one as well. Alycia went about cleaning the room of the debris from the ceiling on the floor knowing all we could do now was keep me still and wait for Bo. Wait for Bo… It was all I could do these days.

It seemed like forever and too fast at the same time when Bo walked into the room. Her eyes fell on me hunched against the wall in my room. I could see the fear and panic in her eyes as she ran to my side and gingerly tried to touch me before deciding not to. I couldn't weep, I knew that would hurt me too much but I couldn't help the tears that fell again from my eyes.

"I don't know what breaks my heart more: seeing my girlfriend cry or seeing my boyfriend cry." Bo lightly joked as I finally cracked a smile. She had the best way to lighten up a mood.

"Oh Bo." I chuckled before wincing in pain and holding my side.

"For Faes Sake! It's so bad… why- -nevermind come here." Bo motioned not wasting any time.

Before I knew it she closed the gap between us and pushed Chi into me. It was again a lifetime and no time at all when I felt as my muscles began to repair and my bones would snap back into place. This is what Dyson meant about it hurting less when it was during sex. Bo's regenerative powers were still a mystery to me but they never seized to amaze me. As I felt the soreness of recovery I took a deep breath as soon as Bo disconnected her Chi stream. I felt her swoon and with fast reflexes this time I rushed forwards and enveloped her in my big strong arms.

"Mmm look at you being all dreamy." Bo remarked swatting my arm as I gave her a half smile. "Your smile is still your beautiful smile."

The notion brought me happiness and pain at the same time. It brought me comfort and solace to know I was still so inherently me. It pained me that I wasn't completely me.

"Why didn't you call me first Lau? What's going on?" Bo asked with tired eyes and a worried tone. "Are we falling apart? I can't lose you."

"Let's talk after… you've recovered." I swallowed the lump of jealousy as I spoke the words and helped her to the other room where Dyson gave me a sympathetic look as he closed the door.

I wanted to run and punch things maybe speed down the highway in the fastest car I could get my hands on… It was excruciating knowing that Bo was in there recovering from helping me, having sex with someone other than me. I was broken.

Time passed and stood still for the hundredth time this morning and somewhere along the lines it seemed I had fallen asleep. I woke up to the sound of my woman voice from the answering machine followed by one of the nurses wondering if I was able to come in today. I cringed thinking about work and didn't know what to do about it.

With hypersensitivity I could tell that I was indeed still a man from how huge I still felt and my beard not to mention the raging boner between my legs. I sighed in resignation when I felt weight on the bed shift and Bo's frame draped itself onto me. I could feel the deliciousness of her naked skin against me and a ragged breath escaped my lips as I felt myself get impossibly harder. I was beginning to think that whoever did this to me was trying to torture me with a Succubus as my girlfriend.

I shifted my weight as Bo rolled off me and I freed myself from her. I turned to take care of my problem when I felt a hand on my own. I froze knowing Bo had awoken with my absence. I didn't want to turn around and humiliate myself any further but I didn't want her to think I was abandoning her after I promised to talk.

"What's wrong?" her voice was soft yet held a hint of panic.

"Nothing…" I cleared my throat from the desire in my voice. "I just need to use the bathroom."

"Babe-" Bo started but I gave her my best smile and reassured her in one quick breath.

"I'm just going to the bathroom and then when I come back we can talk, how about that?" I offered as I saw her brighten up, her smile dazzling and her eyes full of hope.

"You know…" she started as she caressed my bicep.

I couldn't concentrate on anything else but her touch and the pressure building between my legs. I was aroused to a painful degree now and I realized I had to do something about this pronto. I could feel myself just want to flip Bo in this mattress and completely ravage her, seduce her, dominate her. That's what I realized it was. This very primal sense of marking what was my own.

"…I can read your aura you know?" That Succubus smile tempted me and I stood while I could still control myself.

"I know… I don't trust myself in this body Bo. I feel like I could break you." I admitted.

"You almost broke yourself!" she accused. "You are released."

I practically ran into the bathroom and turned on the steaming hot shower. I stripped my shorts and tanktop quickly and hopped into the steam. It was seconds before my hand flew to where I wanted it most and I closed my eyes thinking of the naked beauty on my bed. My mind was a mess I could see myself in my mind's eye as a woman and yet the contradiction was hard in my hand. I struggled to keep myself focused with a blank mind. I recalled Bo's voice, her touch, her taste… on neutral intangible things and feelings that were still true. As I pushed my hips against my hand with soft murmurs of the Succubus I lost myself in feeling, just feeling what was happening rather than analyzing every second of my life.

By the time I came out of the bathroom I could smell coffee and bacon. I was sore around my ribs but my appetite was apparently unchanged from yesterday. I walked into my kitchen to see Bo covering herself with one of my new hockey jerseys and not much else. I had to breathe hard not to go into that bathroom again. I could feel myself start to swell all over again. How the fuck do guys do this?

"Babe they have practice that you don't have right now. Now bring yourself and that boner to the table. You'll get the hang of it soon." Bo remarked without taking her eyes off the frying pan.

"Did I say that out loud?!" I asked horrified.

"Yes, French accent and all." Bo remarked with a chuckle as she turned around and brought the pan of eggs over to the table.

I didn't miss the smirk on her face as she eyed my form and swell. I got self-concious and tried crossing my legs at the knee as I was used to and winced in pain from the obstruction and awkwardness of the motion. I gruffed a curse and sat up straighter grabbing my fork. I noticed Bo laughing at me so I looked down to see I had a pinky out on my hold. You probably look like a Fairy right now. Expert warriors but a bit delicate.

"Fuck" I sulked dropping my fork and crossing my arms on my chest glaring at the table.

"See? There you go, that's a guy's reaction right there" Bo pointed out as she munched on some fruit. "Come on eat your food Doctor Love."

Her nickname for me made me smile of course and just like that my anger was gone and I felt lighter with Bo here with me. The beauty of being with Bo was that in the end it was simple. We were friends that made each other laugh, we always had fun together and never had quite enough of each other's company. Life had gotten in the way: My illness, her Succubus hunger, my impotence to change my circumstances, the humiliation of the colony… This feeling of effortless was slowly slipping from us and yet here it was in an unexpected situation. I was now and who knew for how long a man, yet Bo and I felt like Bo and I.

After our plates were polished and she mocked my eating we sat in a comfortable silence. I knew I had to go and do research soon, I wanted to go back to being me ASAP but I also wanted to prolong this moment. I took my time to admire every curve of Bo's face, the beauty mark above her lip, the long lashes and regal nose. She was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen in my life without any second thought. I remembered when I first brought her home to my mother. That sure brought a smile to my face.

Bo shifted on her feet for the thousandth time. I knew she was nervous, I also knew she had agreed for my sake. Bo was very apprehensive when it came to relationships and every milestone we had reached had been somehow like pulling teeth. Not that she didn't want the same things as I did or that I obligated her to do things but she did put on the brakes like a dog at the vet and I sometimes had to pull the leash. This was one of those times as we stood at the door of my childhood home waiting for my mother to hear the doorbell.

"Do you think she'll care that I'm a Succubus?" Bo asked in horror as I laughed.

"My mother knows that you're a MONOGAMUS Succubus and that we are very happy and pleased with one another." I winked at her as she blushed deeply.

"Oh my God Lauren you tell your Mother about our sex life?" Bo asked horrified in a shushed voice as I felt myself fall deeper in love with her.

"Not like that Bo, come on." I jabbed as she laughed.

She looked stunning even though we had insisted in jeans and a shirt. Of course Bo being Bo it was a black halter but her leather jacket and boots completed her signature look. Her hair was tied back from her face by a clip but the rest was left to dance in the wind. My girlfriend was stunning. I reached for her hand and interlaced our fingers as she looked at me proudly.

"You've got this babe, my mom will love you." I whispered just as the door opened.

Thing is my mom still loved Bo with everything she had to this day. We hadn't told her about the consequences of Bo's healing me but it was complicated to say the least.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Bo asked gently snapping me out of my memory. I gave her a gentle smile and she returned it.

"I should've called you first last night, I'm sorry I didn't." I started as she nodded silently. "Thing is, the last day has been confusing, yes… but I think we both know things have been a little confusing for a bit."

"I don't want to sound aloof here but I thought we were happy with how we were managing." Bo commented and I let out a sigh.

I stood and paced slowly to not make her think I was angry. I had to be aware that any movement in this body would seem brusque. I rubbed my chin as I always did when thinking and found actual comfort in the fact that my stubble gave me something to play with while I searched my thoughts. Bo gave me space as she always did when she knew I was trying to collect my thoughts.

"I'm not happy with my situation but I deal with it. I mean Fae get sick as well as people that's why I wanted to go to med school and actually help our kind. However… the position it puts us in as a couple with my feedings and yours is less than ideal and I don't really particularly like the outcome of it." I spoke honestly yet inside there was an anger bubbling from the way the whole situation made me feel.

"So is that why you don't want me hanging out with you in public? Who cares what people say babe I LOVE YOU. Only you." Bo emphatized but I felt my anger build.

"Who cares? I care Bo! I'm the laughing stock of my clan right now. My cousins are making a joke out of my name because they always told me I wouldn't be Fae enough for you. Some of them knew your Mom! You remember that?" I countered as she scoffed.

"Are you serious right now!? This is ridiculous"

"That I don't want my girlfriend having sex with other people is ridiculous!?" I countered.

"I will do ANYTHING to help you live, including this Laurent-"

"THAT'S NOT MY NAME."

Time stood still as did the room and the wind and perhaps all the elements that composed this world. I had never spoken to Bo this way, and the way this anger raged inside of me was uncommon for me. I was incredibly upset at the fact that I couldn't figure out how to turn back into myself. The more time I spent in this form close to Bo the more I would perpetuate the rumours and facts that I –Lauren- was not enough for the Succubus.

I watched as Bo swallowed thickly and rose from the table slowly. She gave me a hard look and drew a sigh out while coming closer to me. She squared off with me still glaring into my eyes with her tear-glossed ones as she measured her words.

"Then tell me who the fuck you are. You want me to call you Lauren? Then start acting like her. This jealous, angry person? I don't know who you are. It's not about what's between your legs, it's the fact that the person I love would never speak to me like that." With a soft poke to my muscular chest she empathized the rest. " . ."

And with that she quickly got changed leaving me on my own. I knew I deserved it.