Evan Drake's Unrepentant Bitches Chapter 2: Heart of Gold
February 15th 1988, 20 minutes later Cheers, Boston Massachusetts.
Dr. Frasier Crane knew he wasn't the most popular member of the gang at Cheers. Though he'd always felt that one day he'd receive the spotlight he deserved; when it came to swilling beers with his companions Frasier considered himself better fit sitting in the background. Even so, Frasier had expected even one acquaintance of his to give him a quick hello as he marched to his favorite stool across from where the other regulars would sit. What he didn't expect to see was a zombified Norm Peterson using Cliff Clavin as a makeshift club swinging his body to knock Sam Malone to the ground. Frasier looked in horror at Norm's spinal cord, fully visible and covered entirely in gold. Small patches of blood glistened over the gold plating. Frasier couldn't tell who's blood it was. Carla and Heather, Rebecca's new intern, had flipped a table over. They were using it for cover while they each fired multiple rounds out of pistols. The bullets clinked off of Norm dealing no damage as he threw Cliff at Woody, ripping his metallic arm clean off.
June 30th 1988, the swiss alps.
Carla Tortelli had been abandoned. At first sight of Rasputin the other bitches had ran off climbing their way to the top of the mountain.
"So at last we finally meet." Carla spat, "I'd never have expected you to be so ugly Rasputin. You bedded a queen, not just anyone can do that." Even though she had a gun pointed to Rasputin's face he was guarded by his three ultimate sentinels. The only sentinel Carla recognized was Laxus of the Thunder legion. Where Laxus's left hand had once stood was only pure lightning that formed the shape of a left hand, covering his solid gold bones. Carla could only assume the other sentinels were Fool's Golds as well.
"Miss Toretlli. I'm pleased to make your acquaintance." Rasputin walked toward her and kissed her right hand. "It would be much appreciated if you'd tell Mr. Drake I'll be coming for his gold soon."
"Why do you want Evan's gold? You've got plenty." Carla called. Laxus grabbed Carla with his lighting hand, sending a shock of electricity through her. Her knees buckled from the jolt. Carla fell into the snow. As her face kissed the powder she felt the heavy push of Laxus's foot come crashing down on her right leg.
"What do you know of Coalhouse Walker Jr?" Rasputin's question was the last thing Carla heard before the avalanche began and she fell unconscious.
I don't actually know when this particular event happened. Ragtime opens with the little boy saying "In 1902, Father built a house at the top of the hill on the corner of Broad View Avenue in New Rochelle New York" but later in the same song they mention that it was 1906 "and there were 94 years to go" so all I know is that this particular moment in time takes place somewhere in the early 20th century, JP Morgan's Library, New York New York
Coalhouse Walker had his hands up. The words of Booker T Washington had been just what he needed to understand that choosing to use violence as a response to violence would only lead to more violence and that he should surrender peacefully. The white man he'd considered a friend even though he did not know his name had promised that the police barricading the doors would not shoot him. The white man watched him walk towards justice with a smile on his face. Neither knew what Coalhouse's sentence would be. Coalhouse's guilt or lack thereof would be the decision of the courts. The thought that Coalhouse would receive the death penalty as punishment for going on a murder rampage and burning down a bunch of firehouses was running through both of their minds but the spirit of America kept them optimistic. Maybe Coalhouse would be let off with a warning and ten hours of community service under the assumption that he'd never go on a murder rampage again. Maybe Coalhouse would get a life sentence but have the opportunity to talk to impoverished youths to make sure they didn't go on murder rampages their selves later on in life. Maybe Coalhouse would be shot in the head several times immediately after he'd left the library leaving him dead and the white man staring in shock.
The third thing happened.
September 10, 1990 U.A. high school, Musutafu, Japan.
The entrance exam for U.A. had began moments ago. Rather than waste students' time with a written exam that didn't have anything to do with punching bears All Might and twenty nine other potential students were placed into a pit filled to the brim with thousands of bears. Being able to fight bears was a very in demand skill for pro heroes, especially since the current number one hero Cold Persano used his quirk "frosty arms" exclusively to wrestle them into submission. His sidekick, the number two hero Crisp Bagel, used his quirk "Giant Bagel" to trap bears in large bagels so Cold could Full Nelson them to their demise. Desert Storm had just begun so all of the terrorists were busy fighting the US Military so pro heroes dedicated their skills to beating bears into submission. Points were given to students in accordance to how many bears they were able to punch so All Might was on a bear punching frenzy.
"Wait just a second, aren't you All Might? You're already a pro hero" a young girl said said as she used her quirk to slap a bear out of the pit allowing it free reign to move amongst the free men. It looked like she was about college age.
"Yes. I Am." All might said. He assumed he'd get extra points if he tried kicking a bear so he swung his leg around sending several bears falling to their knees in kick pain.
"What are you doing going to a high school? You're a full grown adult. You're also already one of the top heroes around." The girl said. "Like honestly, you're the only one that fights actual criminals. Everyone else just punches bears." Her Quirk, buckshot, placed a 12 shotgun into her hand. It was filled with Ich-Luge bullets so when it punched a hole into a bear's chest it would only be knocked unconscious so she could punch it before it died and still earn one of those sweet sweet points.
"I need more training. I had a friend I wasn't able to save a long time ago." All might said, with a frown. The frown was turned upside down when he Detroit smashed a bear toward his new friend.
"I've been there. My ex-boyfriend killed three people and tried to blow up my school so I was like 'might as well become a hero to atone for my sins.'" This mystery potential hero who we now realize was Veronica Sawyer said.
"I have a lot of respect for you taking responsibility for your ex's actions. Let's be best friends." All Might said and from that moment forward, they were. Until the tragedy tore them apart they would be inseparable.
February 15th, 2018, immediately after Chapter 1 ended.
"Umm. Mr. Peterson looks as alive as a man who is clearly alive." Heather said. "You're losing your marbles Mr. Drake." She was chewing a piece of gum at the time and used it to make a big bubble. It popped in sync with Norm pouring a shot of gold schlager down his throat.
"Unfortunately, Norman Peterson has become a 'Fool's Gold.' My old archnemesis Rasputin sent me a letter just last week saying 'Norm Peterson is now a Fool's Gold. I will use your own customers to defeat you.' Now I'd thought that was one of Rasputin's old practical jokes. He'd get me to think an acquaintance had died and he'd reanimated his corpse so I'd accidentally commit a homicide and spend one or two lifetimes in prison but Norm ordering a gold schlager was all the evidence I needed."
"Can you speak English Mr. Drake? We have no idea what you're talking about." Carla said through the phone.
"What do you know of Alchemy?" Evan asked.
"It was pseudoscience." Rebecca chimed. "Magicians of old tried to use magic to change old metals like tin or iron into gold."
"That question was Rhetorical Rebecca, but I appreciate the effort. If it's pseudoscience then why did I go to Japan? Alchemy is the number one tool of Rasputin. What do you think he uses all of the gold he steals for?" Evan asked over the phone.
"Maybe he buys himself a frilly dress to tell himself he looks pretty." Heather said, another bubble springing to life and popping in death within seconds.
"This is important Heather. Now's not the time for your bitchiness. Rasputin transmutes gold into the reanimated corpses of the dead, and he won't stop until he's built an army so large he'll be able to break free of globulite for good."
"Well what are we supposed to do about it?" Carla asked.
"Hold him back until I'm able to return to the states. To stop an alchemist you need to become an alchemist and I'm out here learning from the best but he's coming for my gold. At this point he's created Fools' Golds around the world. I have a short list you should investigate while I'm training. It'll be faxed to you within moments."
Two months before the other event set in the early 20th century, Coalhouse Walker's secret warehouse in New York.
"I know how to blow things up" was all the white man's younger brother needed to say for Coalhouse to understand.
"Welcome to the team then." Coalhouse replied, "my associate Killer Bee will help you get fixated." The shredded Ninja from the village of clouds grabbed the younger brother's bag and placed it on a chair hidden in the corner of the warehouse.
"So, what's the plan exactly? Are we going to fight for your justice or just sit around like a bunch of baldmen?" Younger brother asked.
"You do understand that I'm half baldman right?" Coalhouse asked.
"Oh right, I'm sorry. Force of habit." Younger brother wanted to hide in his shirt, but kept himself composed. He didn't want to offend his new boss further. Coalhouse had just finished his daily murder quota but Younger Brother was open to the possibility of him completing another.
"Some call him the black Baldman, or the baldman with the golden voice." Killer Bee said.
"The Goldman for short." Coalhouse's other associate Robert Freeman called out from his seat at Coalhouse's side. "Legends say that after hearing Coalhouse sing just one note anyone who has been oppressed will come rushing to his aide. It's almost like hypnosis."
"Man that skill would come in handy if we were trying to use something like alchemy to build a zombie army. We could just hypnotize people into being zombies rather than have to actually kill them then use a valuable material like gold to reanimate their corpses." Younger Brother said.
"Yeah, exactly. If we wanted to build a zombie army it'd be really easy to with Coalhouse on our side."
February 15th, 1988 Ten Minutes before Frasier would enter the Bar, Cheers, Boston Massachusetts.
"Negan stop. You don't know what you're doing!" Carla yelled but it was too late. In order to protect his firstborn son Spencer Negan had chosen to use his bat for justice and swung it mightily upon Norm's head. Norm recoiled in shock which gave Spencer just enough time to slip out of his arms.
"See Ma, I told you Negan was good." Lucy told Carla as Spencer rushed into his mother's arms.
"I still don't like that he got you pregnant out of wedlock, and I don't like that he hits things with bats all the time." Carla said While Negan and Norm were in an intense game of tug-of-war over the bat.
"Ms. Tortelli, I could really appreciate some help over here!" Negan yelled as he ripped the bat out of Norm's chubby fingers. It was covered in barbed wire so some of the skin on Norm's hand was ripped off showing his solid gold bones.
"Mr. Drake was right, he is a fool's gold" Rebecca said. She pulled two guns out from the bar, passed one to Carla and the other to Heather. For herself, Rebecca had grabbed the katana whose blade she had spent the past two months studying. She'd wanted to use it to show Evan her sick Katana skills when he returned from Japan but it would need to be used to slice the reanimated corpse of the first real friend she made at Cheers into a deanimated corpse. Rebecca swung the blade, aiming for Norm's stomach and cut a small piece of fat off him.
In heather's hands was a small, plastic explosive with adhesive properties. Upon seeing the small opening in Norm's body heather ran forward and stuck the explosive to the lump of fat that was left with direct access to open air. She slid over a table to immediately flipped it over as a form of cover and started firing at him. A few moments later she pressed the detonator on the explosive and a large chunk of Norm's stomach was destroyed. Even though his golden spine was perfectly visible Norm was able to keep moving as if nothing was wrong.
"How on earth are we supposed to deal with him?" Heather cried out in shock.
March 21st 2000, Some random part of inner city Chicago,
Number one Hero Big Fun and her trusty sidekick and best friend All Might had the shudderwock cornered. In a last ditch effort to survive Shudderwock's claws detached and All Might was pinned against the nearest wall. Big Fun tried to fire a pair of rounds out of her shotgun but they were effectively powerless, bouncing off Shudderwock's scaly skin like they were made of plastic.
"I didn't want to have to do this, but I'm going to have to reveal the true form of my quirk." Big Fun said and extended her right hand. A large red pole materialized out of her arm. She had used magic to hide weapons her quirk formed inside of her body, a skill she'd learned from UA teacher Jade the Necromancer. The blade of a scythe started forming from the top of the pole. The steel was bright red with an auburn blade that would shine like auburn hair glistening in the sun. "The true power of buckshot is that it forms weapons from the souls of teens that die around me, and this was the most powerful of them all: The scythe Chandler." With one swing of the blade Shudderwock was slain. All Might fell to the floor in shame.
"To believe all this time… You were my best friend for all of these years and I never knew you were Heather Chandler's killer." All might said
Spear Pillar, November 10th 2003
"Hey Dialga. I hear you can get me back in time. I'll give you this lucky weed pipe if you can get me back to 1989. I need to kill the girl who stepped on my boss's dick" Jason Dean said.
TO BE CONTINUED