Chapter 2

The Question of Humanity

Deirdre waited for approximately 15 minutes for the mou-... Doctor Stuart to wake. In that amount of time, an agent lifted him from the ground and carried him to the infirmary where they placed him on an empty cot. Originally, there had been two agents tasked with carrying him, but the doctor was just so skinny and gawky; she could have used him as a toothpick.

In any case, Director Fury sent her and Agent Coulson to accompany the Doctor and explain everything once he woke. As they followed at a more leisurely pace, Coulson berated her on her behavior.

There was no calling Fury an agent, he was the Director.

Stop referring to the Doctor as a rodent, since apparently that was offensive.

Enough of the intimidation tactics, it was too much for the average citizen.

Deirdre had to admit she really did not understand the reasoning behind these points. She figured addressing Fury as agent was not altogether incorrect since he did work for SHIELD and therefore an agent. As for Dr. Stuart, she had only been honest when she called him a mouse, since that was what he reminded her of. It was all perfectly logical to her. Then again, she was incredibly different than the typical human. Not that she needed any reminding or anything.

So, she took in these verbal reprimands silently, displaying a certain amount of exaggerated patience while she tried not to roll her eyes at the almost fatherly agent. Her focus shifted to the medic when he folded a cool, wet washcloth across Dr. Stuart's forehead, then propped his feet up on a few pillows. Every few minutes, the medic would time his pulse, but it seemed their precious doctor would be just fine, since the medic didn't show any worry or voice any concerns.

"Agent Coulson," Deirdre spoke after a while, near frustration, "I am not entirely certain that Doctor Stuart is a good choice for this particular matter. He is not made to deal with the lifestyle he will be forced to endure. He is inadequate. Weak."

Coulson sighed, pursing his lips as he clasped his hands behind his back. "You of all people should know about underestimating others."

"I am not underestimating him, I simply do not believe he should be here. I do not believe he deserves to be here."

"Look," he continued, "Director Fury agreed to let you make the final decision with this, but if you keep dragging your feet about it, he's going appoint someone himself. And you'll like him even less than you do Dr. Stuart. Though, I think some part of you does likes him."

Deirdre could have snorted his outrageous accusation were it not so beneath her. "What has made you suspect that?"

"Every candidate we brought in, you barely even looked at, let alone spoke with," he gestured towards Dr. Stuart, "Not only did you talk to him, you showed him what you were."

"He was already jittery, I wanted to see how far I could push his feeble little body. It was nothing more than an experiment, and perhaps a little fun. The others were old, and boring." Coulson eyed her with amusement, knowing that wasn't entirely the case. The two were quiet again for a minute until Deirdre spoke again. "I still do not understand why I must have a teacher to instruct me on human behavior. I learn faster through reading, or watching that absurd box you refer to as a television. Normal humans are too... slow for my learning capabilities."

"Books can only teach theory."

Before Deirdre could rebuke, Dr. Stuart began to stir and wake, and she quickly pulled a neutral expression, years of training kicking in when dealing with a stranger. His eyes fluttered open and his anxiousness came flooding back when he realized two of the most menacing people he had ever come across (one of which he wasn't even sure was a human) were standing over him with equal expressions of indifference. Like they didn't even care that he had just experienced enough of a fright to make his blood pressure drop dramatically and send him into a dead faint.

Deirdre could feel the shifting in his moods, from his initial and frankly boringly expected nervousness, to a new, surprising response of indignation and almost offense. Her head cocked with quickly passing interest.

"Welcome back, Doctor," said Coulson, "Unfortunately, I'm needed elsewhere. I'll be leaving you the capable hands of Deirdre. She'll brief you on the situation while you recover," he stated, ignoring her blazing eyes as he turned and left with a tightlipped smile. She watched him go, vowing to make him pay before she turned back to the doctor and stared at him blankly.

There was a prevailing, heavy silence where the doctor cleared his throat awkwardly, gazing up and down the rows of white sheeted cots that were on either side of him just to avoid her merciless stare. "I, um, assume this to be the infirmary?"

"Yes."

"Ah. Yes, yes of course. That's very... Nice, this is a nice infirmary. Not that I've been to many infirmaries to compare, it just, you know, seems... Clean."

She blew a heavy breath through her nose, like an angry bull, and Stuart's levels of distress spiked suddenly, making her feel stifled and claustrophobic. It wasn't the average amount of unease he exuded back in the interrogation room, the kind that left the tangy taste of metal on her tongue. That, she could deal with. This fear was everywhere, it was inescapable, it was familiar, and it was starting to dredge up memories she liked to keep locked up tight.

Just as soon as it came, it passed, and the bitterness was washed away by a sickly sweetness that stuck in her throat. Concern, she recognized. That was concern. From the doctor? He was sitting a little straighter in his bed, eyebrows pinched and mouth slightly widened into an O shape.

"Are you alright? Do you have a headache?" he asked gently.

Deirdre blinked and lowered her hand, not even realizing it had lifted to press against her temple to relieve the invisible pressure his fear had pushed on her. She cursed herself for showing that it hurt, for showing a weakness he could exploit. She doubted he would, but it didn't matter, she had still displayed vulnerability.

"I am fine," she said shortly.

"Well, why don't you at least take a seat, just-"

"We should discuss the matter of why you have been brought here, into SHIELD," interrupted Deirdre. Dr. Stuart closed his mouth with an audible snap and folded his hands together above the blanket that had been stretched over him, twiddling his thumbs.

"Oh, right, yeah. I have been wondering that for a while, though I was distracted from the point a few times," he said, eyes going to the wings peeking over her shoulders before he could stop himself. "But, yes. I am curious as to how your... Um. Your-..."

"Wings," she supplied.

"Wings, yes. Well, I don't quite understand why that has anything to do with me."

"It is not specifically the wings, Dr. Stuart. I am... Unsocialized, you could say. I am unable to interact with regular humans because I do not understand how to, I do not understand why I must. There is a disconnect between myself and the world. I do not know how it works, I do not know how to thrive in it..." Deirdre gritted her teeth, sign of annoyance shining through as she forced herself to tell him exactly what she needed. "To be clear, Dr. Stuart, I simply do not know what it means to be a human, what a human feels. You are to tell me. You are to tell me how to deal with other people, and how to deal with... With myself."

Dr. Stuart started, shocked that she had said so much at once, and there was a brief lull as he tried to gather his thoughts. "I- Deirdre, that's not something I can just tell you. Being human is something we all learn from the time we're born, and it's from watching people around us. We all influence each other, almost imitate. Discovering what it means to be human without that head start is... Is something you have to discover on your own, it's not something that can be taught like a school subject."

There was a part of Deirdre that was smug with his answer, knowing that Fury's mission to have her adapt to the outside world was as futile as she believed. There was another part of her that was...

Disappointed.

Some unexplored, new part of her wanted to maybe fit in. To be able to talk to the other agents in the hall who passed her, to laugh like the pretty females she saw on the television she had been using to research the concept of humanity. She wanted to be able to think that not everyone had a secret agenda, to trust someone, to have a friend, to be free of the loneliness that crushed every part of her when she thought about it too much.

But she couldn't, because she hadn't been built that way, and now her only hope of learning to function within society was lost before she even really had it.

"I can guide you though."

All of Deirdre's mental processes came screeching to a halt.

"What?" she asked bluntly, twitching minutely at her inane immediate response. Unfortunately, the fact that he seemed to have caught her off guard, sent him back into his stuttering mode, and only then did she realize he'd gotten through his whole spiel before without doing so.

"W-well, I mean, I could guide you, if you wanted of course. It may not be something I can teach, but if you wanted to discover your humanity, I could... keep you on track, if you will. I could teach you how to act human at least, too. That might help you. I do have some experience with studying society and people, and while I may not be the most adept at it-"

"You are the best in your fields, Dr Stuart," Deirdre muttered. He froze, eyes wide and uncertain.

"Oh, no, no, I'm certainly- I couldn't- there is still so much I don't know, I'm not an expert," he said, blushing and clumsily brushing his curly blond hair back from his eyes.

Something in Deirdre snapped. As she gazed upon the doctor who was so inexperienced with people himself and awkward in nearly every sense of the word, she felt something close to concern. Something was wrong, something needed to be fixed, to be paid attention to.

He was still talking, but it faded into the background as she watched him speculatively. He was too skinny, she thought suddenly, how much did eat during mealtimes? How often did he eat? And now that she was looking, his eyes seemed a little red rimmed behind his glasses. She rifled through her brain for an appropriate reason for it. Was he on the computer too often? Did he not sleep enough? Allergies, perhaps? Were his eyes dry and itchy as well?

"-rdre? Deidre, are you sure you're alright?"

Her vision cleared as she focused on him instead of the thoughts running rampant inside her head. "How long do you spend on the computer?" she asked, drawing closer to him unthinkingly.

Dr. Stuart gaped like a fish. "Ho- what?"

"The computer, how much of your time do you spend on it? Your eyes are strained and tired. How often do you eat as well? I could use you to pick the food from my teeth."

"I, uh, I'm sorry, I'm not quite sure I-"

"I feel strange."

Dr. Stuart definitely had not expected the conversation to turn to this, but he took it in stride nonetheless and asked, "Strange? What do you mean?"

"Worry. I feel worry, but it is more than worry. Deeper. I do not understand, I barely know you, yet I am concerned for your health... I have felt this once before."

"You have? Would you- do you mind describing it to me?"

"Approximately a year before now, one of the female agents brought in the daughter of her brother, her niece. The child was to be kept in the Daycare Center, located on the first floor, but she managed to somehow find her way up to the higher levels. I came across her in the cafeteria where she was playing with the coffee maker. I felt the same worry then as I do now. I did not want to see her hurt herself."

Dr. Stuart was smiling widely, the first smile she had ever seen him display, and she wondered why as she felt his excitement tingle against her skin like static. "Did it make you feel sick? Like you couldn't breathe, in that moment you saw her fiddling with the machine?"

"Yes," Deirdre admitted slowly. "You seem to know what it is."

"Amazing," he breathed. "Even without having someone to learn from, you displayed a maternal instinct, like it just came naturally. Despite being called an instinct, maternal instincts aren't typically inherited for humans, rather observed and learned due to today's social conditioning. But you wouldn't have learned it from your mother-" his smile faded and he looked horrified and sincerely apologetic. "Oh, no, I mean, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to assume-"

"Your assumption is correct, I have no mother to speak of. You have caused no insult. Continue."

He slumped with relief. "Of course. I, well, where was I? Oh, yes. Maternal instincts as strong and immediate as yours are found in animals most commonly, like dogs for instance. It's how they form their packs; there's an unspoken connection between them, a kinship. You want to take care of something you know is weaker than you, to protect it," he paused, squinting at the threads of his blanket as he mulled over his own words and drew other connections. "Your instincts are unusually powerful... A few minutes ago, when you said you wanted to learn how to deal with yourself... What exactly did you mean?"

Deirdre drew back a little, unsure whether she wanted to tell him or not. "There is a separate side of me, a side that I am more connected with but do not wish to be. I refer to it as my Other. It is also the reason I need to... Understand the human spectrum of emotions."

"I'm not- why-"

"My DNA is only 95% human, the remaining 5% belongs to an avian species. My Other has the instincts of an animal, a bird," she sighed heavily. "Just as there is a disconnect between myself and the world, there is a disconnect between myself and half of my own mind. Myself and my Other do not mentally merge together seamlessly."

"So, you're living like there are two separate entities in your head?" Dr. Stuart asked softly.

"Yes. And I am not even certain which one is the real me."

She fell silent after that, standing at the foot of his cot, shrouded in the light of the sunset shining through the window at the far end of the room. Dr. Stuart was quiet as well, regarding her with a new set of eyes. Despite all her impassiveness, her apparent apathy, he could see that she was lost and scared, even if she didn't realize it herself. He could help her, he knew. Help her not only discover what made her human, but who that human could be. She held a remarkable promise of becoming something great, something the rest of the world could strive to be itself. But just as she was capable of a positive kind of greatness, she was capable of something truly devastating, and he couldn't bear to think of just how awful it could truly be.

The only thing he could do was be her friend, and show her all that he knew.

The rest was up to her.

A/N: I know I said this was going to be a fun little simple story, but I got a little deep there with the whole "what makes us human" bit. I like it though, so I'm gonna run with it. Perhaps it'll be the theme. I dunno, we'll see where it takes me.

I know we haven't introduced many of the other Avengers yet, but I want to concrete the bond between Deirdre and Theodore (Dr. Stuart) before moving on. Their friendship is so very important, but keep in mind this is not OC/OC. It's Loki/OC, or possibly Bucky/OC, I haven't decided yet. I'm hoping to get this story from Avengers through Captain America 2, but I may end up with a sequel placed in the Captain America section if Deirdre is going to end up with Bucky. You tell me if you'd rather her paired with Loki or Bucky, and I'll go with that.

I'm sorry for the six months between chapter one and chapter two. College is killing me. Luckily though, I'm taking off the summer, so that should give me more time to work on my writing. I'm trying to keep up with it, because I notice that I get out of practice and the grade of my writing decreases. And it feels terrible, because I love to write and I always feel like it's the one thing I'm really good at.

At any rate, let me know if you disagree with anything, if I have something wrong, or if you just have a question. I do, however have a little question for you as well that you can answer in a review: In your opinion, what do you think makes us human? There's no right or wrong answer, this is your opinion. And maybe if you don't mind, I might incorporate a few concepts into the story.

Also, there's a poll on my profile, so if you could pop right over and take a look at that, that would be great, thanks.

-green