Hey! Thanks to everyone who reviewed and were sweet enough to give me words
of hope and encouragement. It's nice to know there's someone on your side.
It's nice knowing you aren't alone. I wanted to state this story is going
to have a mixture of both my experiences and of fiction since my 'story'
with those two guys is far from over and I can't see how it will end. I
just wanted to make that clear. Thanks to all those who were kind enough to
get me words of praise and of hope.
I don't own Sailor Moon.
Remember When It Rained By: Rini
Chapter 2: Loves Divine
It has been 3 days since that fateful night. I had awakened that morning with a headache and heartache to match. Of course the guys were over the house in those days. They practically lived here. They were always around, leaving their scents to fill the air and their presence to lift my soul.
I had been moping about in a state of both unfeeling and anxiousness. I had long since stowed away the memory of that night in my mind where it shall forever remain. I had deemed that Top Gun, the movie from which the song was taken from, and the song itself be banned from my presence. I never wanted to hear those lyrics uttered around me and I would surely make my opinion known if it was.
I had remained in my room sitting by the window in a thoughtful trance. The ability to forgive and forget alluded my mind and forced me to relive those events over and over. It was just a simple song. She was just a simple girl they'd never see again. So why was I so irritated? Why was I in such a mood? Why couldn't I let it go?
I stayed by my window and watched as the bleakness of winter slowly fade into the rebirth of spring. I saw the snow from the late snow storm wash away by spring's raining hand. I had stayed so long by the window it seemed as though time around me was speeding up. I saw it grow slightly warmer and the sun come out from time to time. It was then that I decided that I had watched for far too long. It was time to rebound.
After all, no one can live in shadow forever.
I had grown tired of the tedious events in the days. I grew bored with nothing to do. My mind failed to stay on the topics at hand. I found my mind to wander over to a certain dark haired guy who had swooped down and stolen what I refused to share with others. I was fairly open with people and I felt as though I was a giving person. Although my heart was something I closely guarded. I didn't allow those who could hurt me to enter my heart and take in its warmth I gave to them freely, I often only let people I truly trusted inside. Funny how 2 guys who look through me have my heart and yet I can't fully open up to my family members who lived 2 hours away. How ironic.
Though I knew it was pointless to settle on the matter for long. It was time to let go and return to reality. Time to feel the harshness that was being walked through. I was a window to them; used to see right through into what lied behind me, yet if they gave it a second glance they'd see that indeed they'd see right into me. They'd see what makes me laugh, what makes me smile, what makes me cry, and most importantly, what makes me love them. Though I guess second glances weren't their thing.
I had finally grown weary and needed a chance to get out and shine. I was being too hard on myself and I needed some time to relax and be myself. I needed me time to do something I truly enjoyed. I knew I needed only one thing; to sing and dance. To dance was a way for me to exercise all my feelings out and to sing was a way for me to let the emotions I stored inside flow freely like a river and wash over my senses. I knew I needed to go and move and put to words and actions just how I felt. Normally I would have written a song, another talent I possessed, but for fear of them finding it by mistake I ruled against it.
I waited for the right day to do it. I waited for Wednesday to come, and today was finally Wednesday. On Wednesday, my father goes down to his friend's restaurant and works for her while my brother is at his restaurant job working all day. Yes, both my father and brother are chefs. My dad does catering and my brother works at a five star restaurant. I knew Wednesdays were my free days to run through my house and do as I pleased.
So I got off the school bus and walked up to the door, unlocking it and shouted, "Honey, I'm home!" I knew no one was going to hear me and I knew I never had anyone to come home to. It was a silly habit I developed one day for apparently no reason so it became a thing to do once I came home. I quickly turned around and closed the door, but decided since it was a fairly nice day out and the house was a little stuffy I'd leave the glass door closed and the wood door open.
What a twist of Fate that was.
I quickly set around the house to clean things up here and there. After I had been satisfied with that, I ran upstairs to my room and grabbed my lime green speakers and took them downstairs and plugged them into my gold Sony CD player. I set about getting my CD catalog which held tons of CDs in varying styles, from disco to 80s to hip hop to pop to techno. I had bits of everything. I pulled one CD out in particular.
It was a CD of all my favorite long songs.
It held all the songs that over time had struck a cord deep inside me. It held the deepest love songs that affected me and I knew this was what I needed to hear. I pulled it out and put it in the player, only to find I couldn't quite press the Play button and let it spin. No matter how many times I went to press the button I just couldn't. So I pulled the CD out and placed it next to the player. Perhaps I just needed to warm up to it.
I instead put in a dance/ hip hop CD and proceeded to dance around my kitchen. I had learned quite a lot from both my dad and brother. I knew what I wanted to make, garlic chicken and a special rice blend I had developed over the years. I danced around my kitchen, moving to the beats and cooking at the same time. The songs were pounding loud in my ears and I'm sure if they could, they'd be shaking the house. But I loved it. I loved the pulsing beats, the deep bass, and the wild melodies. I was finally in my element.
What I failed to realize in my hasten to dance and move, was that my brother had gotten his day off switched to Wednesday and had to work yesterday instead. I didn't see the note he left on the coffee table in the living room since I cluttered it under a pile of papers.
That would have saved me a lot of trouble.
I was too into turning my house into a club to hear the car pull up. Darien had come to the house to hang out with my brother. My brother had called him up telling him he'd be to the house in about an hour and 45 minutes so he could go ahead now and chill beforehand. Darien decided he had nothing better to do so he instead went to our house.
He walked up the stairs of our front porch. He had his dark ebony hair styled as he normally did. He wore dark baggy jeans and a dark blue sweater under a jean jacket. He wore gray Timberland boots and his jewelry sparkled in the sunlight that caught it. He looked dressed to kill. He was so tempting and exotic looking, so perfect, so edible.
He approached the door and saw me moving around inside. I was too happy to notice him watch me. I was moving about like I was trained in those songs. I moved back and forth across the floor. He stood at the door and watched me with a smile on his face. He didn't touch the door or come in; he just stayed there and watched me.
Then when I felt a little tired, I changed the CD to the love songs one. I felt I needed to belt out a few ballads in my current state. I needed a chance to say how I felt, even if they'd never know or care. I changed it to track 4, which had the song Loves Divine by Seal.
I put the music down slightly and turned to the stove where I kept watch over the chicken so it wouldn't burn. I sang the words out loud, hoping they'd reach the ears of the one whom stolen all I had to offer, my heart and love. I silently wished beyond all wishes that some where some how he'd hear me.
"Then the rainstorm came, over me
And I felt my spirit break I had lost all of my, belief you see And realize my mistake But time through a prayer, to me
And all around me, it came still
I need love, loves divine Please forgive me now I see that I've been blind Give me love, loves is what I need to help me know my name," I belted out.
Darien stared at me through the glass of the door. His eyes softened and his mouth hung slightly open. He seemed in awe, as though he was seeing me in a new light. He was amazed by my voice, which seemed to hang on the air and blow past like a soft breeze. He looked at me and felt a new wave rush past him. How could she sing like that? Could she always do that? What else is she hiding away?
I turned to the side and blushed brightly, my eyes wide open and my mouth set in a slight frown. I walked slowly towards the door and pushed it open. We both stood there without saying a word for a few seconds. His gaze seemed fixed on my eyes, trying to sort something out. I looked back in his eyes, giving him a look of my own.
"It was open," I stuttered slowly. His gaze was beginging to unnerve me. What was he looking for? What did he see?
He remained quiet for a few seconds, "Sorry. I didn't mean to watch."
"It's alright. I shouldn't have in the first place," I said as I scurried into the kitchen and quickly turned off the music.
"Why are you apoligizing?" he asked as he moved into the kitchen and walked to the speakers.
I was at a loss for words. I just concentrated on the chicken and moved it off the stove. He turned on the CD player and put the song back on, very low but noticeable.
"Go ahead," Darien replied as he sat down.
I walked briskly past him and cut the chicken and divided the rice for two people. I put it both on two plates and put one down on the table in front of him and one for myself and poured us both glasses of iced tea.
"You don't need to do this," Darien said.
"Well I wanted to. I need to be a good host after all, can't have my brother's best friend starve."
"Oh," he said a little disappointed.
We both took two bites. I was afraid of his reaction. Would he like it? Would he spit it out? Just what would his reaction be?
He moaned, "This is good."
I blushed again and looked down at the plate.
"Your dad sure knows how to teach cooking. Glad he's such a great chef."
I wanted to open my mouth but found the familiar lump in my throat settle. He still had no faith in my abilities. Didn't he realize I had taught myself? Didn't he see I had done it all myself? Couldn't he just realize I could do something on my own?
He finished his plate and took it over to the sink and put it amongst the plethora of pots and dishes. He said his thanks and ran up the stairs. I heard the familiar slam of my brother's wooden door. I sank down in my chair and steeled myself. I heard a crack of thunder outside and turned to see the rain patter against the windowpanes.
"And then the rainstorm came over me," I sang to myself, feeling my own rainstorm begin inside.
I turned to the window and sighed.
"Love is what I need to know my name."
I don't own Sailor Moon.
Remember When It Rained By: Rini
Chapter 2: Loves Divine
It has been 3 days since that fateful night. I had awakened that morning with a headache and heartache to match. Of course the guys were over the house in those days. They practically lived here. They were always around, leaving their scents to fill the air and their presence to lift my soul.
I had been moping about in a state of both unfeeling and anxiousness. I had long since stowed away the memory of that night in my mind where it shall forever remain. I had deemed that Top Gun, the movie from which the song was taken from, and the song itself be banned from my presence. I never wanted to hear those lyrics uttered around me and I would surely make my opinion known if it was.
I had remained in my room sitting by the window in a thoughtful trance. The ability to forgive and forget alluded my mind and forced me to relive those events over and over. It was just a simple song. She was just a simple girl they'd never see again. So why was I so irritated? Why was I in such a mood? Why couldn't I let it go?
I stayed by my window and watched as the bleakness of winter slowly fade into the rebirth of spring. I saw the snow from the late snow storm wash away by spring's raining hand. I had stayed so long by the window it seemed as though time around me was speeding up. I saw it grow slightly warmer and the sun come out from time to time. It was then that I decided that I had watched for far too long. It was time to rebound.
After all, no one can live in shadow forever.
I had grown tired of the tedious events in the days. I grew bored with nothing to do. My mind failed to stay on the topics at hand. I found my mind to wander over to a certain dark haired guy who had swooped down and stolen what I refused to share with others. I was fairly open with people and I felt as though I was a giving person. Although my heart was something I closely guarded. I didn't allow those who could hurt me to enter my heart and take in its warmth I gave to them freely, I often only let people I truly trusted inside. Funny how 2 guys who look through me have my heart and yet I can't fully open up to my family members who lived 2 hours away. How ironic.
Though I knew it was pointless to settle on the matter for long. It was time to let go and return to reality. Time to feel the harshness that was being walked through. I was a window to them; used to see right through into what lied behind me, yet if they gave it a second glance they'd see that indeed they'd see right into me. They'd see what makes me laugh, what makes me smile, what makes me cry, and most importantly, what makes me love them. Though I guess second glances weren't their thing.
I had finally grown weary and needed a chance to get out and shine. I was being too hard on myself and I needed some time to relax and be myself. I needed me time to do something I truly enjoyed. I knew I needed only one thing; to sing and dance. To dance was a way for me to exercise all my feelings out and to sing was a way for me to let the emotions I stored inside flow freely like a river and wash over my senses. I knew I needed to go and move and put to words and actions just how I felt. Normally I would have written a song, another talent I possessed, but for fear of them finding it by mistake I ruled against it.
I waited for the right day to do it. I waited for Wednesday to come, and today was finally Wednesday. On Wednesday, my father goes down to his friend's restaurant and works for her while my brother is at his restaurant job working all day. Yes, both my father and brother are chefs. My dad does catering and my brother works at a five star restaurant. I knew Wednesdays were my free days to run through my house and do as I pleased.
So I got off the school bus and walked up to the door, unlocking it and shouted, "Honey, I'm home!" I knew no one was going to hear me and I knew I never had anyone to come home to. It was a silly habit I developed one day for apparently no reason so it became a thing to do once I came home. I quickly turned around and closed the door, but decided since it was a fairly nice day out and the house was a little stuffy I'd leave the glass door closed and the wood door open.
What a twist of Fate that was.
I quickly set around the house to clean things up here and there. After I had been satisfied with that, I ran upstairs to my room and grabbed my lime green speakers and took them downstairs and plugged them into my gold Sony CD player. I set about getting my CD catalog which held tons of CDs in varying styles, from disco to 80s to hip hop to pop to techno. I had bits of everything. I pulled one CD out in particular.
It was a CD of all my favorite long songs.
It held all the songs that over time had struck a cord deep inside me. It held the deepest love songs that affected me and I knew this was what I needed to hear. I pulled it out and put it in the player, only to find I couldn't quite press the Play button and let it spin. No matter how many times I went to press the button I just couldn't. So I pulled the CD out and placed it next to the player. Perhaps I just needed to warm up to it.
I instead put in a dance/ hip hop CD and proceeded to dance around my kitchen. I had learned quite a lot from both my dad and brother. I knew what I wanted to make, garlic chicken and a special rice blend I had developed over the years. I danced around my kitchen, moving to the beats and cooking at the same time. The songs were pounding loud in my ears and I'm sure if they could, they'd be shaking the house. But I loved it. I loved the pulsing beats, the deep bass, and the wild melodies. I was finally in my element.
What I failed to realize in my hasten to dance and move, was that my brother had gotten his day off switched to Wednesday and had to work yesterday instead. I didn't see the note he left on the coffee table in the living room since I cluttered it under a pile of papers.
That would have saved me a lot of trouble.
I was too into turning my house into a club to hear the car pull up. Darien had come to the house to hang out with my brother. My brother had called him up telling him he'd be to the house in about an hour and 45 minutes so he could go ahead now and chill beforehand. Darien decided he had nothing better to do so he instead went to our house.
He walked up the stairs of our front porch. He had his dark ebony hair styled as he normally did. He wore dark baggy jeans and a dark blue sweater under a jean jacket. He wore gray Timberland boots and his jewelry sparkled in the sunlight that caught it. He looked dressed to kill. He was so tempting and exotic looking, so perfect, so edible.
He approached the door and saw me moving around inside. I was too happy to notice him watch me. I was moving about like I was trained in those songs. I moved back and forth across the floor. He stood at the door and watched me with a smile on his face. He didn't touch the door or come in; he just stayed there and watched me.
Then when I felt a little tired, I changed the CD to the love songs one. I felt I needed to belt out a few ballads in my current state. I needed a chance to say how I felt, even if they'd never know or care. I changed it to track 4, which had the song Loves Divine by Seal.
I put the music down slightly and turned to the stove where I kept watch over the chicken so it wouldn't burn. I sang the words out loud, hoping they'd reach the ears of the one whom stolen all I had to offer, my heart and love. I silently wished beyond all wishes that some where some how he'd hear me.
"Then the rainstorm came, over me
And I felt my spirit break I had lost all of my, belief you see And realize my mistake But time through a prayer, to me
And all around me, it came still
I need love, loves divine Please forgive me now I see that I've been blind Give me love, loves is what I need to help me know my name," I belted out.
Darien stared at me through the glass of the door. His eyes softened and his mouth hung slightly open. He seemed in awe, as though he was seeing me in a new light. He was amazed by my voice, which seemed to hang on the air and blow past like a soft breeze. He looked at me and felt a new wave rush past him. How could she sing like that? Could she always do that? What else is she hiding away?
I turned to the side and blushed brightly, my eyes wide open and my mouth set in a slight frown. I walked slowly towards the door and pushed it open. We both stood there without saying a word for a few seconds. His gaze seemed fixed on my eyes, trying to sort something out. I looked back in his eyes, giving him a look of my own.
"It was open," I stuttered slowly. His gaze was beginging to unnerve me. What was he looking for? What did he see?
He remained quiet for a few seconds, "Sorry. I didn't mean to watch."
"It's alright. I shouldn't have in the first place," I said as I scurried into the kitchen and quickly turned off the music.
"Why are you apoligizing?" he asked as he moved into the kitchen and walked to the speakers.
I was at a loss for words. I just concentrated on the chicken and moved it off the stove. He turned on the CD player and put the song back on, very low but noticeable.
"Go ahead," Darien replied as he sat down.
I walked briskly past him and cut the chicken and divided the rice for two people. I put it both on two plates and put one down on the table in front of him and one for myself and poured us both glasses of iced tea.
"You don't need to do this," Darien said.
"Well I wanted to. I need to be a good host after all, can't have my brother's best friend starve."
"Oh," he said a little disappointed.
We both took two bites. I was afraid of his reaction. Would he like it? Would he spit it out? Just what would his reaction be?
He moaned, "This is good."
I blushed again and looked down at the plate.
"Your dad sure knows how to teach cooking. Glad he's such a great chef."
I wanted to open my mouth but found the familiar lump in my throat settle. He still had no faith in my abilities. Didn't he realize I had taught myself? Didn't he see I had done it all myself? Couldn't he just realize I could do something on my own?
He finished his plate and took it over to the sink and put it amongst the plethora of pots and dishes. He said his thanks and ran up the stairs. I heard the familiar slam of my brother's wooden door. I sank down in my chair and steeled myself. I heard a crack of thunder outside and turned to see the rain patter against the windowpanes.
"And then the rainstorm came over me," I sang to myself, feeling my own rainstorm begin inside.
I turned to the window and sighed.
"Love is what I need to know my name."