Hey there everyone, I decided, "Why stop there, I can so take this further!"

That's right, this fic is no longer a one-shot, it is now an in progress fic!

Each chapter is about the characters (mostly Ed and Al) going over different types of fanfictions. Since the last one was about pairings with other cast members and yaoi/yuri fics, this one is about the dreaded "Mary Sues"(and in the girls' case "Gary Stu's)

I don't own FMA. If I did, Nina and Hughes would still be alive

Mary Who?

Ed was staring at a computer screen, his eyes sliding in and out of focus. He probably read the exact same sentence twice without realizing it. Al, who had just walked into the room, noticed Ed sitting in front of the computer, walked over. "Ed, what are you doing?"

Hearing Al's voice snapped Ed out of his trance. "Huh? Oh nothing."

Al peered over his shoulder. "Your on that fanfiction site again. I thought you hated that site."

"Yeah well, I couldn't just ignore this. I needed to see what other kinds of stories are on here." Ed said. "For all we know, there may be fanfics out there that may be even worse than pairings and yaoi/yuri fics."

"And what do you plan to do when you find these fics?"

"I read them. Depending on how they are, then that will judge what I will do to the author of the fic."

"What do you plan to do to the authors?"

"Probably punch them in the face. I would use my real arm if it were a good fanfiction. If bad, then let's just say that you'll be lucky if you're still alive and breathing through a tube." Ed said as he flexed his automail arm. Al shook his head and grabbed a chair as he sat down next to Ed.

"I might as well read these too in case there's anything here about me as well."

"Alright then, let's get started." Ed said as he was about to click on a link when all of a sudden, the door burst open. There, standing in the doorway, was a young girl about Ed's size with long blond hair and bright yellow eyes like Ed's. Her hair was kind of a dirty blond like how Al's used to be. She was wearing a state alchemist uniform in her own style (in other words, hers was different from the other officers) Ed noticed that she had an automail right arm like his as well.

"Hi there. I'm Mary Sue. I just got employed here as a State Alchemist. Roy Mustang told me that I'm to be helping you two out now." she said. Her voice was like the voice of angels and you could get lost in her eyes for days.

Ed blinked a few times before asking, "Wait...Mary Who?"

Mary Sue suddenly clapped her hands together. "I knew you felt the same way about me! I love you as well! We should definitely get married!" she squealed.

"Say what?" Ed yelled. "I am not getting married to a short person!"

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SMALLER THAN A SPECK OF DUST IN AN ANT'S EYEBALL?" she screamed at him.

"HEY, THAT'S MY SHTICK!" Ed said, now yelling as well.

Roy Mustang suddenly burst into the office. "What did I tell you two about shouting in here?" he yelled now. Mary Sue locked eyes with Mustang.

"OMG, I FOUND MY LOST RELATIVE!" she screamed happily.

"What the hell are you talking about Mary Sue?" Roy Mustang asked, now feeling very confused.

"Don't you remember? You died and I tried to bring you back, but I ended up losing my right arm to do so and it didn't work? Oh yeah, did I mention that I can do alchemy without a transmutation circle?" she said, and suddenly, she clapped her hands together and placed them on the floor. In doing so, this caused a huge spike to come up out of the ground and stab Mustang in the chest.

"Oh my god! She just killed Roy!" Al gasped.

"But I wanted to do that!" Ed whined. But suddenly, Roy managed to sit up, pulling the spike out of him. He turned to Mary Sue, a weird look in his eyes.

"How did you know that I'm actually a homunculus?" he asked suddenly as he transformed into somebody Ed had never seen before. He looked like a hot anime bishoun girls would claw their eyes out for, with sleek sexy hair and was wearing an outfit like Envys. The Ouroboris tattoo was on his arm.

"Well duh, it was so blatantly obvious!" Mary Sue said.

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU AND WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?" Ed said, finally losing his patience. The homunculus turned to Ed.

"I am the homunculus known as Gary Stu. Mary Sue tried to bring me back from the dead, but it didn't work so I became like this. And now I am here to kill Mary Sue for creating me." he said in an ominous dark voice.

"But Gary Stu, I just realized something...I LOVE YOU!" Mary Sue gushed.

"I love you too Mary Sue, but my heart belongs to Winry. I must go to her now." he said, and with that, he jumped out of a window and disappeared. Mary Sue pouted.

"Fine, I'll just go find Envy then!" she said, and then she immediately ran through a window as well and disappeared. Ed and Al stood there blinking for a moment before speaking.

"Ok...WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED?" Ed asked.

"I don't know Brother, but I'm scared now!"

"We better hide! I got dibs on the closet!" Ed said, as they then both ran out of the room and to the coat closet out in the hall where they both hid until it was safe to come back out.

Meanwhile on the other side of town...

"BUT I LOVE YOU ENVY!" Mary Sue whined as she firmly attached herself to Envy's leg. "Your my big sexy palm tree!"

"GET OFF OF ME YOU WORM! LUST, GLUTTONEY, WRATH, DO SOMETHING! I CAN'T GET HER TO DETACH HERSELF FROM MY LEG!" Envy started yelling.

"Actually, I find this quite enjoyable. Call it revenge for breaking Dante's computer." Lust said with amusement in her voice.

"Ha, Envy can't get rid of a mere human!" Wrath giggled.

"OMG, IT'S THAT SEXY WRATH AS WELL! HOW MANY OTHER SEXY BEASTS ARE THERE IN THIS PLACE?" Mary Sue squealed as she used alchemy to bind Envy to her as she started chasing after Wrath.

"Mommy! Get the scary lady to go away!" Wrath screamed as he tried to run away, but was soon pinned by Mary Sue using alchemy.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

And there you have it! Note: I am not trying to flame against anybody who may have a character with qualities like this in their fanfic, I'm just showing Mary Sueism to the most extreme levels.

R&R everyone, I stayed up all night writing this. The least you can do now is reply.

Gary Stu: Oh Night Rain Illusion...

Oh crud...

And this is where I take my leave! -Runs away-