Past
'Thank you.'
He says, as he washes his hands
in a bowl of warm water.
'I don't know
what would have happened
if you hadn't saved me.'
I look down
and pat my curly hair down
willing it to lie flat
for once.
'So,'
I clear my throat.
'What brings you to Tortuga anyway?'
The look on his face
makes me wish I hadn't
asked the question
in the first place.
'Complications.'
He says.
I ask him no more questions.
Commodore
I wish
I had something
more substantial to give him.
I look down at
the stale roll
that breaks our teeth
as we eat
and the fruits
which reek of alcohol
while we eat breakfast
and hastily stuff it into my mouth
wishing to remove it
from my sight.
He seems happy
to eat something solid
and eats the food
as if he was a beggar
who hasn't eaten for days.
Not for the first time
I try to look through the dirt
which covers his clothes
to see the man
he once was.
Shiny buckles and
blue cloth meet my eyes.
His commodore uniform
looks so out of place
in my home
where the flowers wilt
to nothing
and the fine gatherings
he must be used to
are nothing but
a man and a woman
eating breakfast together
at a wooden table.
Thoughts of Tomorrow
I have to understand
that even though
he may be
talking to me
like I'm a real person
like I'm not some idiot,
a daughter of a drunk
that it will not last.
Tomorrow,
when he leaves
to continue
sailing the world
he'll forget.
He'll forget
how I saved him
how we talked
he'll forget me.
And that's what hurts the most.
The thought that
for today
I may be the light
that brought him
to safety
but tomorrow
I'll just be another grain of sand
in a sea of beautiful shells.
Wind
It brushes our face
as we walk
along the cliff
in Tortuga
and paints on us
words that want to be said.
I want to talk to him
but the words
get stuck in my mouth.
Is it the harsh gusts
of the wind
that's making his eyes water?
or is it thoughts of the past?
She haunts
It takes all of my strength
to ask him a question.
I'm afraid of
what the answer will be.
But I swallow.
Open my mouth
and the words come out.
'Who was she?'
I can tell from his face
that he was surprised
I had figured it out.
But it wasn't that hard
The glint of sadness
that was ever present
in his eyes
was clue enough.
'She… she'
The tone
of his voice
changes to despair.
'She was mine'
He said.
'We were.. one.'
He looks into his knees.
'And I lost her.
I let her go.'
He whispers her name
like its his last hope
for life.
A whisper
into the dark.
'Elizabeth.'