The shemlen were all wide eyed, and none were armed with more than a belt knife. One had lost control of his bladder, and Elin wrinkled her nose at the sharp smell of urine. They were no threat.

She relaxed her bow and nodded to Tamlen."Let them go, lethallin. Their only crime is stupidity."

Forest birds chirped and called while the shemlen mumbled quiet prayers to their Maker, and Tamlen held his bowstring taut. Finally, wood creaked and Tamlen jerked his head sharply. "Go, then, before I change my mind."

One of the shemlen began to cry. "Oh, thank you ser. You're so kind, I –"

"Go!" Tamlen started towards the men and one of them gave a low, wavering moan as he turned to flee.

When the shemlen had disappeared from sight, Tamlen turned to her, eyes hard. "They'll just bring more."

Elin returned his gaze with a hard frown. "And if we had killed them and others had found out?"

His stare faltered and he raised a hand to his face. "Shemlen took everything from us."

Elin stepped forward and touched Tamlen's arm. "Hamin, Tamlen.Not those shemlen. Elvhen nan din'reth. We should tell the Keeper." For once, the thought of a move did not bother Elin. The forest here was thick and wild, and while game was plentiful, the wolves and bears were the most dangerous and aggressive in her memory. It was not safe to linger at the edge of camp once the sun had set.

"The shemlen mentioned a cave."

Elin studied Tamlen. He had that look that meant they were going to do something very impressive or very stupid. She narrowed her eyes. "Yes, they did."

Tamlen went wide-eyed and innocent-looking. "Don't look at me like that, you're too serious. What if there's something useful or valuable? We should go look."

"And if I say we should get the Keeper?"

"Then I say you have no sense of adventure." Tamlen grinned. "Come on, we'll look quickly."

Elin let out a deep breath and nodded. "All right, but – Hey! Wait!" Tamlen bounded ahead of her, laughing. She raced after him, unable to stop the smile that spread over her face.

Elin bolted upright, chest heaving as she struggled to breathe. The dream of caves and dead that walked had felt so real. She shivered and rubbed at her arms.

She ran shaking fingers through her hair and tried to steady her breath. It was just a nightmare. It had to be. Nothing like that could be real.

A sudden tap on the door of the aravel made her jump. "Elin? Are you awake, lethallan?"

Elin's pulse fluttered and she tried to catch her breath. "Merrill? What are you doing here?"

"I came to check on you." The door opened and sunlight spilled into the aravel. Merrill clambered in, brow furrowed with worry. "You've been so sick Marethari thought she was going to lose you." Merrill pressed cool fingers to Elin's forehead. "You're still a bit warm, but it's nothing like it was." Merrill wrapped her in a tight hug and rocked back and forth. "Oh, I'm so glad! Everyone has been waiting for you to wake."

Elin shook her head and grasped at memories that seemed to slip through her fingers. "What happened? How long have I been asleep?" Her mind was racing. There had been frightened shemlen, and a cave with a strange, twisted mirror. Everything beyond that was a confused haze of voices and blurred images. "Where's Tamlen?"

Merrill pulled away away and toyed with a metal ring on her robes. "A shemlen, a dorf'mi, found you and brought you here. You were so sick and feverish; Marethari thought you wouldn't make it. I was up with her, trying to heal you, but I'm not very good, and worse," Merrill glanced back to Elin, her green eyes wet, "we don't know where Tamlen is. We hoped you knew."

Elin shook her head in disbelief. "We were in a cave. I know where it is." She swung her legs over the edge of the bed. "I need to tell the Keeper. We have to go back." She pushed herself to her feet. Her legs didn't want to stand, and the ground seemed to ripple beneath her.

Merrill managed to catch her before she fell. "I'll tell the Keeper you're up once I get you something to eat. Just… stay here and don't get in trouble. Promise me?" Her friend's voice was all but pleading.

Elin nodded absently. "Promise."

The door clattered behind Merrill and Elin was alone again. Her breaths grew shallow and sharp, and panic clawed its way up her throat. Tamlen could be hurt and alone, and the ruins were dangerous.

He could be dead.

The thought made her breath hitch, and she looked to the ceiling as tears ran down her face. Creators save him.

"No, don't destroy it! We could learn so much. There's so little of our history left, please." Merrill ached to examine the mirror, to touch it, to study it. She could feel the power the mirror held, and it called to her. Something about it made her blood hum, like it knew she was Dalish.

The Grey Warden shook his head and blocked her path to the mirror. "It is tainted. If it stays whole it will continue to draw darkspawn and infect any who get too close. Your friend is still sick, and another of your clanmates has gone missing." His voice was calm, almost soothing, but his sword was already drawn.

Merrill looked to Elin for support, but her friend's face was pale and a thin sheet of sweat covered her forehead. Merrill's hands balled up in frustration. "Please, no!"

The Grey Warden shook his head. "I am sorry."

He lifted his sword and swung at the mirror. The shatter was deafening and dozens of pieces scattered across the floor. Merrill slumped as she felt the power waver and burst. An invaluable key to the past, gone.

"The darkspawn won't be drawn here any longer." The Grey Warden nodded towards the door. "Shall we go?"

"No." Elin's voice was low and hoarse. "No. We haven't found Tamlen. I'm not leaving until I find him."

Merrill nodded slowly. "We were sent to find him."

"Your friend is gone. He has been sick with no healing for days. I have seen no body, and the darkspawn could have –" the Grey Warden cleared his throat. "If there was something to find, it would be here."

Elin bristled. "You don't know that! He was a skilled hunter, a skilled fighter. He could protect himself."

The Grey Warden shifted and gave a short sigh. "And if he was unconscious like you have been? Is he so great a fighter that he can do so sick and asleep?"

Merrill's breath caught in her throat as Elin lunged toward the Grey Warden.

He caught Elin's wrists easily. She struggled against him, and gave a weak kick at one of his shins. The shemlen winced, but held his ground. Merrill looked between the two of them and drew on her magic, watching and waiting. She didn't know how to make it stop, but she knew it would be her fault if either was hurt.

"Let me go! I have to, I must, I –" Elin shook her head frantically. "Please."

The Grey Warden gently released Elin, and she sank to the ground with quiet sobs.

"Oh no, please don't cry." Merrill rushed to Elin's side. "Tamlen wouldn't want that." She cupped Elin's face in one hand and gently wiped away the tears. "And we have to tell the Keeper what we saw. You're one of the Elvhen, Elin. Your blood is strong."

Elin nodded against Merrill's palm and let out wavering sigh. "Abelas." Elin scrambled to her feet and clenched her jaw so tightly Merrill was certain her teeth would break. "I will try."

Merrill gave a half-hearted smile and patted Elin's arm. "There, it's all right to have tears now and then." The thought of the mirror was enough to make her weep, but Elin needed her now. Merrill would mourn that loss later. "Come along, we shouldn't keep Marethari waiting."

The walk back to camp was silent.

"Keeper, please. Don't ask me to do this. I want to stay with the clan." Elin's eyes were wild, and her voice began to crack. "How can I help the clan if I am away?

Marethari shook her head and steeled herself for what must come. "Abelas da'len, but you must help us by joining the Grey Wardens. Fight with them and you protect us." No matter what the old treaties said, giving one of her own to the Wardens felt like cutting off a limb. It was only made worse by Tamlen's disappearance. "I can't let you die when the Wardens can save you."

Elin closed her eyes tightly and said nothing for a long time as tears streaked down her face.

"Da'len." Marethari touched Elin's arm. "You must do this."

Elin nodded stiffly, but it was easy to see the tremble in her lips. "If… if it is for the good of the clan, then I will go."

Duncan stepped forward and gave a short bow. "Then may I be the first to welcome you to the Grey Wardens, Elin. The few Dalish who have served in the order have served well. We have great respect for your people."

Marethari nodded, hoping Elin would find comfort in the words. Of all the shemlen she had met, Duncan was the one Marethari trusted. He had always been respectful of the clans. "You must leave us, but our blood will always be yours. May Mythal protect you, wherever you may walk. Dareth shiral."

"Ma nuvenin, Keeper." Elin's tone was flat against an angry expression, and her fists were clenched tightly at her sides..

The anger cut Marethari to the core. Even as a Grey Warden, most shemlen would see her as nothing more than an elf. The world that Elin must go to would not be kind, or safe, and Duncan could only shield her from so much.

It was such things that were a Keeper's burden, and she must keep her people alive, even if it meant losing them. The blood of the Elvhen was precious.

Elin slid her knife between muscle and skin, cleanly parting one from the other. It was a task she had completed a thousand times, and the familiar movements allowed her a few moments of peace. She could nearly pretend she was back at camp, and that Tamlen and Merrill would be there when she looked up. She frowned. It was a foolish thought.

"Is something wrong?" Duncan's voice was calm and even.

Something about the question put her on edge. Duncan knew what was wrong, or he thought he did, but he could not understand. "No."

Duncan let out a long sigh. "I know you don't want to be here, but you are here. Sitting around sulking won't change anything, and it makes you a rather unpleasant travelling companion."

The words shamed her. The shemlen had been nothing but kind to her, and she had returned his kindness with quiet anger. He had done nothing wrong. "Abelas, Duncan. I have not been myself. Ma serannas. I am grateful you saved my life."

"You have been through much these past days. How are you?" His tone was sincere and worried, and the kindness made her ache for her clan.

Elin skillfully parted the last bit of skin from the rabbit and gently laid the pelt aside. "Sad." She did not know how to tell him that her breath hitched when she thought of Tamlen. She did not know how to tell him that tears threatened to overwhelm her when the air was still and quiet, because she expected Merrill's happy chatter to fill the silence. She did not know how to tell him that she was hurt and angry and lonely.

She did not know how to tell him these things, so she did not.

"And your sickness?" Duncan's brow furrowed and he half-closed his eyes. "I can still sense it, but you still seem strong."

She wiped her forehead with the back of a hand and scowled when she found it damp. "Still sick." With luck, he did not see the way her hands trembled after hours of walking, or notice that her breathing grew more strained as the days passed.

Duncan pushed the coals into a long, narrow line with a stick. "Many of the recruits leave everyone they know when they join. The Wardens become their friends, as well as their family." Duncan blew lightly on the coals and motioned towards the rabbit. "Give them a chance."

The thought was almost impossible. She had been told there was not another woman among them, much less an elf. But Duncan was reasonable, respectful. He fought well. He had saved her when he had no care for who she was. If the others were like him, maybe there was a chance. Maybe. "I will try."

His fingers were deft as he trussed the rabbit to a long, straight stick. "That's all I ask."

Thanks, as always, to xogs for the beta and feedback!