Dislcaimer in previous chapters. Please see Author's note at the end for minor explanations.
Chapter two: Project Princess Roy
"Okay Uncle Roy, you get to sit in the special princess chair. It's right over… here."
Roy plopped down into a soft, furry, hot pink chair. He looked up to see Elysia wearing a look on her face that looked disturbingly similar to Hawkeye's when he didn't finish all of his paperwork on time.
"I'm going to get everything we need to make you a princess," she told him sternly, "So be a good boy and don't move until I get back."
She ran off in the direction of her bedroom, leaving behind a gaping Roy in the playroom. Wait, wha-? She wants to make me a princess? Shouldn't she be the princess? ... Oh. She said princesses before didn't she? Good job Roy, give yourself a pat on the back… or not, since I'm not supposed to move. Why am I afraid to disobey a three year-old again? Oh yeah, she used the patented 'scary Hawkeye' look on me. Those two must be spending too much time together.
Just as he finished this thought, who should walk back in but Elysia, pulling along a little pink wagon. It looked like it was full of… nail polish various different glittery items and play jewelry. Oh no, this is so not going to end well…
"Alrighty Uncle Roy, since Mommy won't let me use make-up without her helping me, so we're just going to stick with nail polish and glitter. Now close your eyes so the glitter won't get in them." Roy closed his eyes, and soon heard her begin to use the bottle of spray glitter.
Squirt, squirt, squirt…
"Okay Elysia, I think that's enough…"
He began to open his eyes, only to snap them back shut to the sound of a shrill "No, don't open them yet!" in his ear. With a sigh, he leaned back in his chair, patiently waiting for her to grant him permission to open his eyes once again and assess the damage that had been done so far.
Wobble, wobble, wobble, DUMP.
"Ahhhh! Elysia, why'd you do that!"
"Well, I wanted to make sure that the glitter wouldn't just fall off. So I opened the bottle and dumped all of it on you. It'd take too long to spray all of it on, and this way was faster. Don't worry, the glitter will stay once it dries!"
Ugh, I sure hope this stuff washes out. "Hey, can I see that bottle for a minute?" he asked, pointing to the plastic bottle she held in her hands. "Sure, Uncle Roy!"
Roy looked at the label on the back of the now-empty bottle of pink (what other color would it be?) glitter-gel and scanned it for any information on using it in someone's hair. When he found it, it only added to the already unfortunate situation he was in.
WARNING! DO NOT USE ON HAIR!
Use on hair will result in hair becoming dyed the same shade as the base glitter color, and will not wash out.
Crap. If he washed it out now before the chemicals could react all the way, then his signature raven-black might be saved. But he couldn't do that without making Elysia upset. And upset Elysia + responsible babysitter + overprotective father coming home to find said Elysia upset (equal sign here) one Flame Alchemist in BIG trouble. That would be bad. Very, very, very bad.
He decided to make the obvious best choice, and turned his attention back to Elysia, who looked as if she was ready to continue.
"Now that the glitter's all done, we can paint your nails."
"How about I go ahead and just paint your fingernails?"
She giggled. "Because, silly, mine are already painted. Now, just make sure that you don't wiggle your fingers, or the nail polish will smear."
Once again, she chose a hot pink nail polish color that, unsurprisingly, had glitter mixed in. He had to admit, she did a lot better painting his nails than he could have done. Not too long afterwards, all ten of his fingers had been painted and were beginning to dry.
"Now all that's left to do is put some pretty pink hair clips and find you a crown."
Less than ten minutes later, Project Princess Roy was completed. His hair matched the color of his hot pink, glitter nails, and was accented with well-placed pink hair clips. But you couldn't see these hair clips very well, as they were hidden by a homemade crown.
Actually, that homemade crown just so happened to be his hat. His only hat, seeing as Black Hayate had claimed his military-issued hat as a chew toy when Hawkeye wasn't looking. Needless to say Hayate learned his lesson, but that doesn't mean that his hat managed to survive the ordeal.
One of Elysia's play dress-up tiaras ended up being glued to the charcol-grey hat since it didn't quite fit him.
So, after stepping back and surveying her hard work, the three year-old fell asleep on the spot, all energy drained from her accomplished task of turning her Uncle Roy into a princess.
Okay, so first of all, the reason why Roy's raven-black hair was able to change dramatically into hot pink is because I'm the author, and I said so, for the purposes of this story. Also, the two hats mentioned: the military-issue one is the hat Roy wore at Hughes' funeral. The other hat (the charcoal-grey one), is the hat Roy wore in the last episode or two when he and Hawkeye were on their way to the Fuhrer's estate.
Thank you to reviewers, it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside! Chapter 3 will be up as soon as I'm done editing and typing it up. 3 days tops.
Flames, constructive criticism, and anonymous reviews are all accepted with open arms.