author's note: I'm not a review whore. But I honestly love criticisms. If you have any, PLEASE give them. I want to be a better author. thank you!

disclaimer; twilight = not mine

bpov

"you exist! you always will!", I uselessly screamed at my dream Edward. "I love you, Edward.", I blubbered. I particularly hated this dream. The forest nightmare. The breakup nightmare. It hurt just as horribly as that day. How could I forget about him when he would not leave my dreams alone? He was, in a sense, with me for eight hours a night. Even if in the worst of situations. His eyes cold and unloving. But something strange happened, my dream Edward, instead of running off into the woods, as is his nightly custom; approached me and wiped away my tears. The sensation of his cool hands overwhelmed me and sent a shock through my system. The same shock I had felt in Biology not so long ago. This was no dream, at least not this touch, it felt too real- the coolness, too tangible. With great effort, I managed to pull myself out of the forest and back into my room. The curtain of my heavy damp lids was pulled back and I almost fainted at what I saw.

Better than any dream. More real and tangible than myself. And staring at me with pained eyes, was Him. My Edward. Well, not my Edward anymore; but I can pretend and he can't read my thoughts anyway. I opened my mouth to speak, but his hands that were still on my cheeks motioned for me not to.

He simply stared at me for an unmeasurable amount of time as he prepared himself to speak; sorrow etched on his face. He must be disappointed that he was still in my dreams, that he couldn't erase my memory, that I would always reach out to him in my unconscious state. Maybe he was here to kill me. So I wouldn't be a threat to his family, he might think that sooner or later I would tell their secret. But of course all of these ideas were just errant thoughts I was rummaging through to try and justify his reasoning. Not to mention, I was still half asleep.

I figured I would let him say his piece. There was no other time in the world where I felt more stupid than when I assumed Edward was taking me away from Forks. Taking me away so we could be together. Only to reveal his true feelings for me in the forest.

So instead of jumping to my own conclusions, I would hear whatever he came here to say. Or do. My mind somehow lingered on the killing me idea. His beauty was so distracting, even in the absence of light, he still seemed to glow. I had forgotten how truly magnificent he was; even with his apparent grief. I suddenly became aware of how terrible I must look, I knew that Charlie and everyone at school was worried about my health due to my pallid appearance and sunken eyes. I never felt like eating anymore, and sleeping was difficult to do when I knew what would await me. I blushed, obviously embarrassed by my sallow state. At my blush, a small smile stole across his perfect mouth and his thumbs caressed my cheeks again; he looked wistful. His mouth opened ever so slightly, drawing in breath; preparing to speak. I waited. I wasn't about to halt his touches, I had needed them so badly, I suddenly realized I sounded like a drug addict. He was my heroin, not the other way around. He said nothing. His actions repeated several more times: The caress, then the intake and then silence. My brows furrowed, tired of waiting I almost began drawing more conclusions.

He must have noticed my impatient stare because he swiftly dropped his hands and sank lowly to the floor. Silent once again and still staring at me with his molten butterscotch eyes. I noticed that his pose was submissive, his face repentant and filled with sorrow, but mostly love.

He was here to beg.

It all made sense now. He didn't say it, and to hell with conclusions! I was right.

He was sorry that he had left me and realized his mistake. He loved me as I loved him! Eternally.

He started to speak again, his voice shaky and rough; the words actually made it out this time and his voice was pleading, "Bella, I am so sorry, my darling, my angel, my light, my life! I am even more of a monster than I thought possible, and i swear to you that-"

But I put my finger on his lips to silence him as sat I upright on my bed dropping my feet down to the floor on either side of his beseeching knees. His face displayed utter shock, probably thinking I was shushing him because I didn't want to hear it. Well... I didn't want to hear it, not now anyway. His words confirmed my suspicions and suddenly everything was right with the world. I felt whole again. Hell, I felt downright giddy.

"Edward," I smiled. rejoicing at the sound of my voice speaking his name. His beautiful name. I removed my finger from his lips and giggled slightly at his expression. I leaned my face in closer to his until our foreheads were almost touching, my hands gently cupped the back of his neck. "You don't need to say anything. I forgive you. I love you. But could you ever forgive me for not believing in you and in me, for believing the lie and not the truth?" I realized that I only made it too easy for him to walk away and should shoulder some of the blame. I searched his face for a reply. No sooner had I looked then felt my back against the mattress and Edward's slight and cool form hovering above me. His smile was ecstatic, "Of course Bella! You have nothing to be sorry for, except for the fact you have the worst boyfriend on the planet. I am such an arrogant, masochistic, controlling-"

I silenced him again with my entire hand this time. "Don't. Edward," I blushed, "Edward... will you, um, kiss me, please." I was barely able to get the sentence out. No sooner had I said please then I felt his sweet icy lips ensnare my own, roughly and tenderly at the same time.

"I have lived without your lips for too long, Miss Swan." he murmured against my neck passionately once I resurfaced for air.

"Edward?" I asked tentatively, "will you sing me to sleep? I am REALLY tired." I grinned.

He smiled up at me and soon I was in my most favorite place in the world: Edward's arms. I quickly fell into a peaceful sleep. I knew nothing more needed to be said, sure Edward would definitely flip once he read Charlie's mind seeing me in zombie mode, and would emotionally punish himself for a few days at most. But I was fine now. I was whole. My other half had returned with my heart, and the soul that he so desperately wanted to protect. His actions were all well intended, and since he came back because he wanted to give me what I wanted; I resolved to give him something he wanted fiercely...

hope it wasn't a waste of your time!

suggestions, please! i like it when these stories are a group effort.