ACT ONE
FADE IN:
INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY - DAY
ANGLE: MARY CHERRY
head on, looking curiously at something. Soon she is joined
by Carmen on one side, and Lily on the other. After a moment,
the scene shifts to show one of the contest posters, with the
Kennedy name (crudely) filled in.
CARMEN
"School Spirit Contest"?
LILY
(reading)
"All students should enter this
exciting contest. Be the guy or
girl who exemplifies the
principles of your school, as
determined by a vote of your
fellow students."
MARY CHERRY
Sounds like fun! Of course, I'm a
shoo-in.
LILY
What? You are NOT!
FLIP CUT TO:
INT. SOCIAL STUDIES CLASS - LATER
Brooke and Sam are sitting in adjoining desks, but not
interacting. Harrison walks by; Sam grabs him, spins him
around and plants a kiss on him. Brooke carefully looks away.
SAM
Hey, you.
HARRISON
(flustered)
Hey. Wha—what was that for?
SAM
(shrugs)
Nothing. Is there something wrong
with me kissing you?
HARRISON
Uh, n-no. Of course not.
The awkward moment is interrupted by the rowdy arrival of Mary
Cherry, Carmen, and Lily, who are in the midst of a spirited
discussion. Harrison takes advantage of the distraction to
slip away.
MARY CHERRY
I am still waitin' for an
explanation for that slanderous
remark, Lil Lily!
LILY
(rolling her eyes)
Which one?
MARY CHERRY
How could you insinuate that I,
Mary Cherry, do not exemplify the
values of our fair school?
LILY
Uh, because greed, avarice, and
the shallowness of a wetland
that's been drained for
development AREN'T the values of
this school?
MARY CHERRY
Why, of course they are! They're
the values of all red-blooded
American high schools!
LILY
No, they aren't!
She turns to Brooke and Sam.
LILY (CONT'D)
Sam?
SAM
(holding up her hands)
Whatever you're talking about, I
don't want to get involved.
LILY
(imploring)
Sam—
BROOKE
(breaking in)
Wait—is this about that stupid
contest?
CARMEN
Yes.
Mary Cherry holds up a flyer that is a miniature copy of the
poster.
MARY CHERRY
You could enter, Brooke. Second
place isn't bad.
BROOKE
An extreme no, thank you. It's
just one more pointless popularity
contest. I've been through enough
of those to last me my whole life.
SAM
For once, I totally agree with
Brooke. The whole thing is
completely bogus.
MARY CHERRY
(miffed)
Well, that's a fine attitude to
have!
LILY
Mary Cherry, I'm sure there are
lots of shallow people at this
school who would love to compete
against you.
MARY CHERRY
I'm sorry, but when it comes to
popularity, no one competes
against me.
BROOKE
(looking off)
Maybe you guys should sit down?
The girls quickly find seats as the teacher, a distinguished,
slightly exotic-looking man in his late forties, enters the
room. Standing at the chalkboard, he writes "Mr. Eric
Osbourne", and then turns to face the class.
OSBOURNE
Good morning. For those of you
who are unaware, my predecessor in
this position, Miss Thornapple,
won five million dollars in a
poker tournament in Las Vegas this
last weekend, and thus decided to
immediately retire from teaching.
He looks down his long nose at all of them.
OSBOURNE (CONT'D)
Now, I am informed, by reasonably
reliable sources, that you are
high-school seniors. I shall
therefore begin my instruction by
making the charitable assumption
that you—at least, most of you—
possess the ability to think.
He turns back to the chalkboard and draws a large "0" on it.
OSBOURNE (CONT'D)
However, you shall have to prove
that ability to my satisfaction.
Everyone in this class begins,
now, at zero. You will accumulate
points for work done, here and
elsewhere; the total number of
points you have at the end of the
school year will determine your
final grade. You may also, from
time to time, receive bonus
points. When you have accumulated
enough of these, you will receive
a partial step-up in your grade.
Osbourne takes a stack of papers from his desk and hands them
to the students in front, who begin passing them back.
OSBOURNE (CONT'D)
You may discard any notes or other
materials you have previously
collected from this class—as of
now, they are irrelevant. I have
studied Miss Thornapple's lesson
plans; the knowledge required of
you under her auspices seemed
limited to such things as the
capital of Texas—
MARY CHERRY
(waving)
Ooh! I know! Austin!
Osbourne subdues her with a look.
OSBOURNE
That's geography, Miss Cherry, not
social studies. And certainly not
what WE are going to study in the
coming months.
LILY
(raising her hand cautiously)
Uh, Mr. Osbourne? You know our
names? Already?
OSBOURNE
Indeed I do, Mrs. Ford. I spent
yesterday studying your records.
(considers)
Also, I was cornered this morning
by a certain Miss Roberta Glass,
who seemed determined to speak at
length about all of you. She
apparently wanted me to take her
opinions as my own—but then I
decided to consider the source.
Sam and Brooke exchange a glance, raised eyebrows and a barely
audible snort—which does not go unnoticed.
OSBOURNE (CONT'D)
Miss McQueen? Miss McPherson?
You find something amusing?
The girls instantly sit up, straight-faced.
BROOKE
Uh, no, sir—
SAM
No—we, we just think—
BROOKE
We think Miss Glass, she's...she's
a little—
SAM
—a little biased.
BROOKE
Right. Just a little.
Osbourne appears to consider this for a moment; then he goes
back behind the desk and makes some marks in a ledger.
OSBOURNE
I agree with you. You each
receive ten bonus points.
MARY CHERRY
Hold on—they get bonus points
for—
OSBOURNE
Opinions, Miss Cherry, as you will
discover, are what this class is
all about.
BROOKE
(suspiciously)
Wait...are you rewarding us
because we said something, or
because you agree with what we
said?
Osbourne peers over the desk at her.
OSBOURNE
You will have to reason that out
for yourself over time, Miss
McQueen.
(making another mark)
However, you do get an additional
five bonus points, for realizing
that the question exists.
Brooke settles back, looking somewhat satisfied with herself.
OSBOURNE (CONT'D)
Now then, shall we begin? Is
there a subject—some issue
relevant to the human condition—
worthy of discussion? Something
social to study, as one of my
students—whom I flunked—liked to
say?
The kids look around at each other, at a loss. Roaming around
the room, Osbourne snatches the contest flyer off of Mary
Cherry's desk.
OSBOURNE (CONT'D)
This will do.
Sam rolls her eyes briefly—and Osbourne turns on her.
OSBOURNE (CONT'D)
You have an opinion, Miss
McPherson? What do you think of
this contest?
SAM
Honestly?
OSBOURNE
(severely)
Dishonesty is useless to me, Miss
McPherson. You're allowed to ask
that once. Don't ask it again.
Chastised, Sam drops her gaze.
OSBOURNE (CONT'D)
(prompting)
You had an opinion, Miss
McPherson.
SAM
(shaking her head)
It's meaningless. It doesn't have
anything to do with school spirit.
It's just another popularity
contest.
OSBOURNE
I see.
He crosses to his desk and leans against it casually, arms
folded.
OSBOURNE (CONT'D)
A valid interpretation. And is a
popularity contest a good thing?
SAM
Huh?
BROOKE
(cutting in)
Everyone knows who's popular
around here and who isn't.
Osbourne shifts his attention to Brooke.
OSBOURNE
Expand the question, then, Miss
McQueen: is popularity a good
thing? Or a bad thing?
Brooke shrugs helplessly. Osbourne rights himself and heads
for the bookcase.
OSBOURNE (CONT'D)
Let's back up several steps.
He pulls out a book and opens it.
OSBOURNE (CONT'D)
The definition of popularity is,
and I quote, "the quality of being
admired or desired by many
people". Miss McPherson—attack
or defend that statement.
SAM
(quizzically)
You want me to attack the
definition of popularity?
OSBOURNE
Or defend it. Your choice.
Sam thinks for a moment.
OSBOURNE (CONT'D)
Well, Miss McPherson? Attack or
defend?
Sam puts her palms out flat on her desk.
SAM
All right—attack. It's not about
being wanted, or even admired.
Sure, people want to be around
you, but—
BROOKE
—but it's not about YOU. I mean,
people aren't popular for who they
are. They're popular for how they
look, or what clothes they wear,
or how they act...
The flow of conversation falters for a moment.
OSBOURNE
And what does that mean?
(pause)
Anyone? Mr. John?
All heads turn to Harrison.
HARRISON
(thinking on the run)
It means...you're just doing what
everyone else has already decided
is popular.
CARMEN
What?
HARRISON
No, think about it. Everybody
thinks popular people are leaders,
but they aren't. They're just
following the popular "thing". If
you try to do something
different—
LILY
—you instantly become unpopular.
MARY CHERRY
That's crazy! Who doesn't want to
be popular?
BROOKE
(soberly)
I don't. When I was the most
popular girl in school...I was the
unhappiest I've ever been in my
life. Every moment, I was
consumed with maintaining my
social standing, doing exactly the
right thing...it was horrible. My
whole life was about playing the
popularity game.
MARY CHERRY
But...but...it's worse to be
UNpopular!
LILY
Is it? Okay, you don't have
legions of hangers-on, but...
you're free. You can do what you
want, be who you want, without any
pressure—
MARY CHERRY
Well, darn, I just don't get it!
Bein' popular's, like, you're
right at the top of the social
heap. I KNOW it's better to be on
the top than on the bottom!
BROOKE
Mary Cherry...
When Mary Cherry—and everyone else—turn to face Brooke, her
eyes are deadly serious, and her voice cuts through the room
like a knife.
BROOKE (CONT'D)
You've never been on top of the
social heap here. You have no
idea what it's like. Being
popular almost killed me. Twice.
She turns to Osbourne.
BROOKE (CONT'D)
It's NOT a good thing.
Osbourne tilts his head in acknowledgment.
OSBOURNE
All right, we've established the
effect—or at least one effect—of
popularity upon its objects.
(holding up a finger)
Now, let's examine popularity from
the viewpoint of the others—the
"hangers-on", as you call them.
What function does popularity
serve for them?
SAM
(cynically)
Mindless imitation?
CARMEN
Well...popular people ARE role
models.
LILY
But what good's a role model if
it's a BAD role model?
SAM
Carmen's right. If nobody knows
who you are, you can't be a role
model.
HARRISON
Hang on, I'm not sure I buy this
idea. I mean, not everybody who's
famous is just, you know, evil. I
don't think they're always
connected.
SAM
They don't have to be. That's one
of the things about popularity:
you can't control what people
think about you, or if they want
to be like you. You might think
you have this power over people—
BROOKE
—but you really don't have any
power at all.
CARMEN
So what about someone who signs a
ten-million-dollar contract for
shoes?
LILY
That's different—that's
commercialism.
CARMEN
But they're still telling people
which shoes to wear. Isn't that
power?
MARY CHERRY
That's right!
LILY
No, no...
As the discussion grows more animated, the scene pulls away
and focuses on the wall clock...
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. SOCIAL STUDIES CLASS - LATER
The clock, which had read 10:20, ticks over to 11 o'clock.
Several of the kids are talking at once when the school bell
cuts them all off.
Osbourne claps his hands together.
OSBOURNE
Well, I think we've made a
constructive beginning. Everyone
here gets full credit for today.
Tomorrow's assignment: a class
project, demonstrating what we've
discussed today. The entire class
will be graded as a unit; co-
operation is encouraged.
Dismissed.
As the kids file out, Osbourne takes a seat behind his desk.
OSBOURNE (CONT'D)
(beckoning)
Miss McQueen, Miss McPherson.
Brooke and Sam stop at the desk, waiting. Osbourne looks up
at them, regarding them for a moment.
OSBOURNE (CONT'D)
I'm not impressed with you yet—I
don't impress easily—but I could
be. You argue well, when you
agree and when you don't.
(pause)
I have a feeling this class may be
more interesting than I had
originally thought.
(looking down)
That's all.
CUT TO:
INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY - LATER
Sam and Brooke are walking down the hallway side by side.
SAM
Well, he's...interesting, anyway.
BROOKE
Definitely better than Miss
Thornapple, though.
SAM
I don't know...I was kinda looking
forward to state capitals.
Suddenly Mary Cherry prances across their path, waving a
paper: an application form for the school spirit contest.
Sam and Brooke just shake their heads at each other.
CUT TO:
INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY
Lily is talking animatedly to Josh while he is rummaging
through his locker.
LILY
...so we ended up just talking,
and it was really cool. All these
ideas just flowing around the
room, not like the rest of our
classes.
JOSH
(distant)
Uh-huh, yeah.
LILY
Josh, are you listening to me?
JOSH
(shortly)
Sure.
LILY
(sighs)
Josh, are you still upset?
He turns to glare at her.
JOSH
Naw, Lily, why would I be upset?
LILY
Josh—
JOSH
First you show up at practice and
embarrass me in front of the guys,
and now you're here, all amped
over this social studies guy and
his flowing ideas, while I'm stuck
in jock classes, which is where I
belong anyway.
LILY
Josh, that's not—
He slams his locker shut, making her jump.
JOSH
Go be with your smart friends,
Lily.
Josh turns and stomps off; Lily hugs herself tightly as she
watches him go.
FADE OUT.
END OF ACT ONE