What do you know, I had to get more out of my head today!
Loneliness…my constant companion. For no matter what celestial entity I'm on, no matter which galaxy I've traveled to, it is always with me.
And here, on this planet called Earth, I stand….alone.
Always alone.
My brother is gone.
My sparkmate, Elita, is somewhere amongst the stars far from me.
Each night, my optics scan the stars as if I could miraculously find her. Each moment alone, my spark aches to know that she's safe.
I sigh. My optics go offline. My normal proud shoulders sag slightly.
"You are too far from me, my love," I whispered. "My spark misses yours…desperately. I really need you now. You are the only one with whom I could share my grief over the loss of my brother. The only one who could lift me from my anguish. The only one who could understand why I was more willing to sacrifice myself than my brother. You…Elita…you who know me better than I know myself."
I bring my optics back online and resume searching the stars.
I know shouldn't despair so much. During the Earth month since the destruction of the Allspark more Autobots have arrived, increasing our numbers. I allow my comrades in arms to celebrate during this reprieve for ever how long it may last. Primus knows it's been a long time since we've had a chance to relax.
But as their leader I cannot allow myself to relax. I'm responsible for them all. I worry about them all too much. I cannot afford to make another mistake. I must be prepared for anything.
Even though my brother is gone, I know another has already taken his place as leader among the Decepticons. Who that is, I do not know but I have my suspicions. Their lack of activity since Megatron's death worries me. They're planning something. I feel it in the core of my spark.
"Why must you always stand alone, Sir?"
Startled, I turn to see my good friend's concerned face. I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that I didn't even notice my internal sensors telling me of Bumblebee's approach.
"It is my burden to bear as leader," I answer, returning my gaze to the stars.
"You do have friends, in case you've forgotten."
"I could never forget my friends. I worry for them constantly."
I sigh then face my friend.
"I'm sorry, Bumblebee. It was not my intention to let you be captured."
"There's nothing to forgive, Sir. I wasn't angry with you. I could never be angry with you. You're my friend, my leader. I trust your decisions better than I trust my own. And I understood you had to choose between an entire planet's race of beings and a single life."
"Thank you. That means a lot to me to hear you say it."
"What are friends for?" he smiled. "I actually came to inform you that we received a new signal. Another Autobot responded to your transmission. I thought you'd be happy to know you're second in command is still alive and kicking. Prowl is expected to land in just a few Earth hours."
My spark sank. While the news was good, I kept hoping for one signal in particular to come.
"Thank you, I'll head out to greet him at the designated coordinates in a few Earth minutes," I responded.
Bumblebee was about to say something but cut himself off. He simply nodded then walked away.
Once again, I was alone.