The Things That Keep Us Apart

Chapter Two

One Week Later

"Are you ready for the press conference?" Romano asked Lucy as they sat in his office.

"It's happening in five minutes. Do I really have a choice at this point?" Lucy laughed. "Remind me again why you thought it was such a great idea to have a press conference in the first place?"

"This way it lets everyone know about the great things that you are going to be doing for this community."

"And it lets you rub it in Dr. Weaver's face, right?" Lucy smirked. "Elizabeth told me all about it while we waited for you at the restaurant last night."

"She has a big mouth sometimes." Romano joked. "But yeah. I can't pass up a chance to rub it in her face. That's not the main reason for the press conference though."

"Ok." Lucy sighed. "I'll do it."

He scoffed. "Like you had a choice."

Lucy just shook her head as she followed him out of his office and to the media room. She was surprised by the amount of press he had compiled for this announcement. Cameras started flashing as they took pictures and she was glad that Romano was talking first. Maybe she could use the time to get used to this for a few moments before she had to speak.

"Thank you for coming." Romano started. "Everyone at County General is thrilled and excited about our latest endeavor. Thanks to an anonymous donation, we will be creating a state of the art research center attached to the hospital. This will allow both students and doctors to have a place where they can come and research cutting-edge techniques and procedures."

"Heading up this research center is a massively over-qualified doctor who we are beyond lucky to have back. She was a med student here ten years ago, specializing in surgery. Then she went to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles, where she has not only perfected her surgical craft, but completed two highly successful research studies on the subject of trauma surgery. She has also been published in numerous medical journals and has won the prestigious Michael Whitehouse award twice in the past four years. Please help me welcome our new Director of the County General Research Center, Dr. Lucy Knight."

Lucy slowly walked to the podium and reminded herself to stand up straight. "Thank you. I am so very excited to be back in Chicago and working on such a worthwhile project. I truly believe that wonderful advancements in medicine will come from this research center and I can't wait to get started."

"Does anyone have any questions?" Romano asked.

"Do you have a main focus for the types of research the center will focus on?" Came a question from the front row.

"No, not as of yet." Lucy answered. "The goal is to create an environment where all types of research can be pursued."

"With the current climate towards equality for minorities and women in all fields, not just medicine, will preferential treatment be given towards those groups?" Came a question from the back row.

"No." Lucy answered. "We will evaluate all research submissions with the same scrutiny. There will be no preferential treatment given to any individuals or groups."

"Ok, that's enough questions." Romano replied. "There is more information in the press packet you received on your way in. If there are any more questions, please feel free to direct them to the public relations department of the hospital. Thank you."

Lucy followed Romano out of the room and let out a deep sigh.

"There." He smiled. "That wasn't so bad. Right?"

"Sure." She laughed. "Whatever you say."

"You did great." He reassured her. "So what is next on your agenda?"

"I think I'm going to go down to the ER and say hello." Lucy explained. She had been back in Chicago for a couple of days now and had been avoiding that area of the hospital. But it was time to go face everyone.

"So you want to slum it down there?" He laughed, rolling his eyes. "Suit yourself. Just don't take too much time because you have a lot of work ahead of you."

She smiled. "I know. I'll see you later." It didn't take her long to get to the ER. Things looked different since the last time she was here. That was years ago when she came back for Mark's funeral.

Lucy had sat in Doc Magoo's with everyone for about four hours after Mark's funeral, reliving their favorite memories of the fallen doctor. But now the group was starting to break apart and she reached for her jacket. She was surprised when Carter grabbed it first and held it open for her to slide her arms into.

"Thanks." She gave him a small smile.

"Do you want a ride back to your hotel?" He asked.

"That would be nice if you don't mind." She said.

"No, I don't mind at all." He smiled.

She waited for him to get his coat on and then they waved goodbye to Doug, Carol, Susan and the rest of the gang.

"My Jeep isn't too far away." He told her as they walked in the cold, January weather.

"Good. I forgot how cold Chicago is." She shivered. Since she now lived in LA she no longer had warm coats. Her lightweight coat wasn't doing much to keep her warm.

"Here." He opened up his coat and pulled her close to him, wrapping the side of the coat around her in an attempt to warm her up more.

"Such a gentlemen." She marveled.

"I do try." He laughed. Then he turned serious. "I'm glad you came back for this, Lucy."

"I had to." She admitted. "Mark was a great man and a great teacher."

"Yeah. I know I learned a lot from him. I still can't believe he is gone."

"How is Elizabeth doing?" Lucy asked. "When I talked to her before the funeral she seemed to be holding up fairly well but I couldn't tell if it was just an act."

"I think she will be ok." Carter sighed. "It's not like Mark's death was sudden. She had time to try and make peace with it. And at least they got to say their goodbyes."

"Yeah."

They got to his Jeep and he held the passenger door open for her before walking over to the driver's side and getting in.

"I have to admit that I didn't just come to honor Mark's life." She said quietly. "I missed you." It had been several months since he last came to see her in LA.

"I missed you too." He said just as quietly, grabbing a hold of her left hand while he kept the other hand on the steering wheel. The rest of the drive was quiet so she stared out the window. It didn't take long to get to her hotel.

"Do you…maybe want to come up with me?" She offered, looking over at him.

He sighed. "Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"No." She shook her head and chuckled. Then she smiled at him. "But I'm still offering anyway."

"I shouldn't…" He trailed off. "But ok."

She found her way to the lounge and entered, surprised to find it full of doctors. "Hey guys." She greeted with a smile.

"Lucy?" Dave laughed, getting up from the couch to give her a hug. "How are you?"

"I'm good. You? She asked.

"Can't really complain." He smirked.

"Lucy, what are you doing here?" Kerry asked.

"I'm actually working here now." Lucy announced, waving hello to Luca.

"Are you back in the ER?" Dave asked.

"No." Lucy shook her head. "I'm the new director of the research center."

"Shut up!" Dave exclaimed happily. "That's amazing. Congratulations."

"Thanks." She smiled.

"Yeah, congratulations." Kerry replied, though not as enthusiastically. "I should get back out there. Nice to have you back Lucy."

"Thanks." Lucy replied, realizing that the center was a sore subject for Kerry. She wouldn't take the woman's iciness personally. She then went over to sit next to Luca. "So how are things with you?"

"Good." Luca replied. "I'm back with Abby."

"Oh. That's great." Lucy nodded, wondered how that happened. The last time she asked Romano about Carter he told her that Carter was still dating Abby. It made her heart skip a beat at the thought that Carter might be single now.

"Hey Luca…your films on the patient in one came back…" Abby trailed off. "Lucy. Hi."

"Hey Abby." Lucy greeted. "How are you?"

"Great." Abby smiled. "What are you doing back?"

"She's the new director of Romano's research center." Dave announced.

"That's great." Abby nodded. "Congrats."

"I need coffee…" Carter exclaimed, stopping in his tracks when he saw her.

"Hi." She said, giving him a small smile.

"What are you doing here?" He asked.

"I'm starting to think I should get a shirt made with the answer to that question." Lucy laughed. "I'm the new director of the research center."

"You know, the one that makes Dr. Weaver seethe with anger every time you mention it?" Dave interjected.

"Yeah. I know the one." Carter nodded, walking over and getting coffee. "Congratulations."

"Thanks." She said.

"So Abby, you said the films are back on my patient?" Luca questioned, standing up.

"Yeah." Abby nodded.

"You want to come with me and check them out?" Luca asked.

"Sure." She quickly followed Luca out of the room.

"So Lucy…" Dave started.

"Do you think maybe you could give Carter and I a moment?" Lucy asked Dave.

"Oh…uh sure." He chuckled. "I get it."

Lucy waited until the room was empty before standing up. "Surprise!" When he didn't respond, she realized her joke had fallen flat. "Carter…"

"I have patients to see." He told her.

"Can we go get coffee sometime?" She asked. "My treat?"

"Why?" He asked.

She could tell by his dismissive tone that this was going to be difficult. He was shutting down and she wasn't sure she would be able to reach him this time. "You never replied to any of my emails."

"I didn't see the point." He told her. "And I figured you would get the hint eventually."

"Can we please talk about what happened?" She asked.

"I don't see how that will change or help anything." He said, looking anywhere but at her. "I should probably get back out there."

She could see the anger and hurt on his face and knew she was the one who put it there. "So is your plan to avoid me forever?"

"I don't have a plan when it comes to you." He chuckled. "In fact, I don't even think about you."

She was hurt by that statement, but decided not to let it show. "Well I think about you." She said quietly.

He sighed. "What do you want from me, Lucy? Do you even know anymore? You're like the ocean. One minute you pull me close and then the next you push me away. Well I'm tired of drowning in you."

"Carter, I'm…"

"Look, it doesn't matter anymore." He shook his head. "It's time we stop this once and for all. This endless, toxic cycle we've engaged in has gone on far too long and one of us needs to stop it. Looks like that will be me. Congratulations on your new job. I'm sure you'll do a fantastic job because you always put 100% of your energy into your career, unlike your relationships."

She watched as he left, unable to say anything. It broke her heart to realize that she had finally, completely lost him. A part of her thought that she got what she deserved though. What he said was true though…she did have a habit of pulling him close and then pushing him away.

Carter stood on the roof later that night on a break from his shift. He couldn't believe that Lucy was back and seemingly for good this time. She had previously made it seem like she was never going to come back and live in Chicago. So he had to wonder why now all of a sudden she was back. But to find the answer he would have to talk to her again. That was something he wasn't sure he could do.

It took every bit of willpower in his body not to run and hug her this afternoon in the lounge. He was elated that she was back, but he was also conflicted. He felt like he was Charlie Brown and she was his Lucy. Every time he thought they had the slightest chance of working their problems out she would take the football out of the way at the last second and he would fall flat on his butt.

It happened time and time again, but he kept coming back for more. Well not this time. He was done. No matter how badly it hurt…no matter how badly every part of his being told him to hold on to her and never let go…he was done chasing after her. Enough is enough. His pride and his heart couldn't take it anymore. He thought back to the last time he went out to see her in LA.

"Hmm…morning." Lucy said, snuggling closer to him.

"Morning." He replied back, kissing her head.

"What do you want to do today?" She asked.

"Doesn't matter to me." He watched as she got out of bed and grabbed a short, silk robe to put on over her tank top and underwear. "We can do whatever you want."

"Well right now I want to make some coffee." She told him. "You still take one sugar?"

"Yeah."

"Ok." She nodded. "I'll be right back."

"Hey Lucy?" He called out, causing her to turn around when she got to the door.

"Yeah?" She smiled.

"I love you." He had been trying to find the perfect time to say it to her, but finally couldn't hold it in any longer. He watched as the smile on her face started to fall.

"John…"

There weren't many times that she called him by his first name. Lately those times meant she was going to say something he didn't like.

"What are you doing?" She asked quietly.

"Lucy…c'mon! You had to have known that I still love you."

"Yeah, I thought maybe you did." She told him. "But that's not what this is between us anymore, right?"

"Then what is this?" He asked. "Some friends with benefits situation?"

"I don't know exactly how to label it and I didn't know we needed to label it!"

"Look, I've tried not to love you." He sighed. "I really have. And I've tried to give you the space you said you needed to advance your career. But you're accomplished in your career now and I still love you…"

"Please stop saying that." She interrupted.

"Why?" He asked, starting to get angry. He got out of the bed and walked over to her.

"What we have now…"

"Isn't working for me anymore." He interrupted angrily. "I don't want to just see you every once and a while for a day or two. I want to see you every day. I still want to marry you!" He looked at her face. "But that's not what you want, is it?"

"It's complicated."

"Then explain." He asked.

"The last time we were together, we didn't work out…"

"Because you wanted to advance your career above all other things…" He yelled.

"And you proposed to me as a way to manipulate me into staying!" She yelled back. "Just like right now. You propose as a way to get me to do what you want!"

"I propose because I love you!" He screamed louder so he could be heard.

"If you really loved me, you would have tried to understand why I needed to come here. You wouldn't have tried to bribe me!" She yelled.

"You wouldn't explain it to me. It was like one day you woke up and decided that you needed to leave in order to be successful but you didn't care if you left me behind."

"How can you say that?" She exclaimed. "It broke my heart to leave you."

"I don't think it really did." He scoffed, finding his pants and putting them on. "I think I've been making a fool out of myself these past few years coming here like this. And I think I should leave." He grabbed his shirt and started putting it on.

"Please don't leave yet." Lucy said, closing her eyes.

"Either tell me you love me or explain why you don't." Carter told her. "Those are the ways you can get me to stay." When she was quiet, he sighed. "That's what I thought." He moved to get past her since she was in front of the door but she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Please…"

"I can't stay here Lucy…" He gently untangled himself from her. Then he left without saying another word to her.

He was telling the truth when he said he wanted to marry her. He went there with a ring and everything. But he got tired of feeling like she was using him. It wasn't a healthy situation and he told himself he would be happier if he could get over her.

So after a while he started to date Abby. He thought that relationship would last because they seemed to have a good thing going. But the shadow of Lucy on his heart prevented their relationship from thriving long term, just like every other relationship he tried to pursue.