Becky sat in the circle, glancing at the boys and girls surrounding her. On her left was another girl dressed in a pink t-shirt paired with a white skirt. Her legs were crossed and she was examining a painting on the wall, her expression almost bored. On her right was a boy wearing a blue tank and jeans, his eyes on his phone as he typed quickly. There were three other teens in the room: a girl with a short pixie styled hair and two boys holding hands although as the door opened, they quickly shifted away from each other.
Becky turned to face the new arrival and saw an older woman wearing a pink sundress. She took a seat directly across from Becky before clapping her hands, causing everyone to face her as though trained. Becky glanced around, gaging the other teens' reactions as this woman with the fake smile and plastic face began introducing herself as Eve, the person in charge of their path to healing.
The girl next to her rolled her eyes while the boy quickly put away his phone, training his eyes on Eve although he quickly lost interest and seemed to start daydreaming. The other girl had snorted when Eve continually used the word "healing" and when she received a reproachful glance from Eve, she just leaned backwards in her chair as though entertained. The two boys had their eyes on the floor although Becky saw them keep glancing at each other, quickly looking away whenever they made eye contact. They were afraid.
"Today we have a new girl joining us," Eve smiled at Becky, "Why don't you introduce yourself?"
"I'm Becky Baker," Becky whispered softly when all eyes turned to her. Eve gestured for her to go on and she swallowed, trying to find her voice, "I… I'm confused. My parents sent me here to try and help me."
"Tell us, Becky, when did you first begin having these sinful thoughts?" The girl on the other side of the room snorted at Eve's words, but when the older woman glared at her, she just raised her hands in mock surrender. The boys sitting near her, looked even more nervous at the word "sinful."
"I… I don't know," Becky looked down, "I didn't know he was… he was just so… he confused me."
"He?" The boy next to her questioned, "Honey, do you know the reason behind this place?"
"No… I meant…" Becky tried to find the words – the words that her parents had been telling her the past few days. But she still found herself having trouble believing them. "He… Adam is a girl. He… she just dresses and acts like a boy. She confused me."
"He's transgender?" The girl who kept making a mockery over Eve's words asked.
"She, Jamie," Eve stressed, "You don't want to keep confusing, Becky."
Jamie rolled her eyes again.
Everyone had a story.
Stacey, the girl next to her, was being forced to attend by her parents who were threatening to disown her. She didn't share much except for that and as Becky stared at her, she thought that maybe her parents were mistaken. Stacey didn't look like a lesbian and she didn't say anything about liking girls either.
Damien, the boy next to her, talked about sneaking into gay clubs and going home with boys all the time. He didn't seem ashamed and he grinned every time Eve cringed whenever he said ass. He said he was going only to help his parents' relationship, but his mom hadn't seemed to care at all about his sexuality.
Dante, the taller of the two boys, lived in foster care and talked about how he loved watching his classmates' undress in the locker room. His foster father, a priest, had sent him to therapy, talking about how no one would love him because of his sins. Becky felt for the boy, but he seemed surprisingly upbeat.
Clayton, the other boy, seemed the only one really interested in healing, but Becky thought back to when he was holding Dante's hand and wondered if him talking about healing was just an act for Eve. But when he started crying about his younger brother who hadn't spoken to him in years, he seemed genuinely interested in getting better.
Jamie didn't talk much. She just said (and Becky cringed as she said it) that she liked pussy and then crossed her arms, grinning in response to Eve's glares.
"Sharing" went on for about an hour before Eve allowed them all to talk to one another without her company. It was supposed to help them "get along" better with the opposite sex although Becky watched as the serious conversations Eve had been trying to initiate evaporated as soon as the door was shut.
Stacey, took out her phone and started texting. Dante and Clayton linked hands again and began whispering to each other. Jamie and Damien walked over to Becky who had been leaning against the wall awkwardly.
"Hey," Jamie said, grinning, "What's up?"
"I… I don't," Becky looked away suddenly finding herself shy. She didn't know what to say. These people weren't like her. They weren't trying to get better. They made jokes about Eve and none of them seemed to care that they were… gay.
Jamie snorted, "You're not going to turn gay by just talking to me."
"I… I know," Becky whispered, "But I'm already…"
"Gay?" Damien grinned, "Honey, you are not like us. You don't want the same thing."
"Actually, Damien, I think you and her want the same thing," Jamie laughed and Damien stuck his tongue out at her.
"I… I don't understand," Becky looked at them. What did they mean she wasn't like them? They were all there to be healed right? They were all "sick" even though she was the only one trying to get better.
"You and Damien both like guys," Jamie explained, "Trust me I have good gaydar and you are not gay."
"But Adam…?"
"Is a boy," Stacey interjected, looking up from her phone, "You said so yourself. You only called him a 'she' twice when you talking about him. You know he is a guy so why are you hear listening to all this crap?"
"I want to get better," Becky explained before staring at Stacey, "You don't look like you should be here."
"Why? Because I'm not butch?" Stacey laughed, "Becky, I don't have to have short hair or drive a Harley to be a lesbian. I want a family just like any other girl, but I just want a wife instead of a husband. I want to have the normal American life and me being gay won't change how much I love my kids."
"Becky, think about it, do you like girls?" Dante asked, turning his attention away from Clayton and facing the others, "Don't think about Adam or your parents. Do you like girls?"
"I don't…"
"Becky," Dante pressed the issue, "Are you attracted to Stacey or Jamie or any other girls you know?"
"No…" Becky then glanced at Jamie and Stacey, "I'm sorry…"
"Don't be," Jamie grinned, "Straight girls aren't my thing."
"Straight…?"
"Yes, straight," Jamie laughed, "You like boys, right?"
"Yes… I've only liked boys… I've only dated boys."
Everyone shared a glance.
"What?" Becky asked, looking at everyone, "What?"
"You dated Adam," Dante smiled.
"Yeah…?"
"You just said you only date boys," Dante explained.
"I don't… this confuses me," Becky dropped her head and she felt someone take a seat next to her, resting a hand on her back. She looked up and saw Clayton who gave her a weak smile. She returned it before looking down again and whispering, "I don't want things to be complicated. I didn't want to love…"
Becky paused.
There was silence for a couple of minutes.
"Love…?" Jamie grinned.
"I think I love Adam," Becky whispered, "And I think I can only fall in love with a boy."
"Hallelujah, she's seen the light," Damien said and everyone laughed.
