She sat the little boy on the change table and began to undress him. He was quiet now and was just waiting for Liv to take care of him. She looked at him: he had brown hairs just as his father and green eyes. She softly began to clean him, always looking at this little boy who accepted her. She studied each details of his face, his little nose and chin, soft skin, little lips… Elliot was still standing near. He could not move after what she said. He could not believe she really thought what she said. He did not know how to talk to her. He wanted to say her he never doubt on her as a mother, he already told he found her great with kids, she is compassionate, careful, sweet, soft…but all he wanted to tell her did not fit with his current mood. He was mad at her for what she just said. He knew there was something wrong with her and the fact that she still denied it made him full of anger. Why the hell didn't she want to trust him? What happened? All these thoughts brought him on the verge of tears. He opened his mouth and just said with a sad voice:
El: Liv, I know you and you know it. I know there is something wrong with you but I don't know, I don't understand why you don't want to tell me. I don't know when I lost your confidence…but
Liv: You did nothing wrong El, I'm sorry.
She took new clothes from the wardrobe.
Liv: It's just…
El: …too complicated, I know you already told me that.
She sighed heavily.
Liv: I'm sorry for my behaviour.
El: I don't mind
She looked at him with tearful eyes, she opened her mouth but just bit her lower lip. She sighed again, put her hands through her hair, wiped her tears and looked at him straight:
Liv: I can't have children, El
El: What?
Liv: I had an appointment with my doctor, I thought a lot about having a child and he asked me to do some usual tests just to be sure everything would be alright…Tears were flowing down her cheeks. I did not know till now but I'm infertile, El. I learned it yesterday.
Mathew took her attention back; she wiped her tears, smiled at him. She took him in her arms:
Liv: Ready to go baby?
El stood there not believing his ears. He saw her smile at the little boy and his heart broke. He clenched his teeth as she passed near him with Mathew who found her necklaces really interesting.
She went downstairs and called for the social assistant who came to her rapidly. As Liv wanted to release Mathew to social services he shouted again. His cry made El come back to reality and he rushed down the stairs.
The situation was really hard, Liv had to going on with her job, so does the social assistant but Mathew did not agree. He was not willing to let anyone else than Liv to hold him in arms.
El turned to Liv:
El: You'd better go with Mathew to the social centre. I can finish here and then I will meet you there. Maybe with other children he would let someone else approach him. Liv, it's just…
Liv: You're right, we both know. We have to do the best for him. See you later. She smiled at him but with pain and in her mind she thanked him for not telling more.
He looked at her going with the boy in her arms. He sighed and Melinda came to him.
Melinda: Where is she going?
El: To the social centre with the boy. She is currently the only one who can touch him. I'll see her later. So what can you say about our victims?
Melinda: As usual I will know more after autopsy, but they fought a lot. The woman was raped, and as I could see is that she was raped some weeks ago too. They were both cut everywhere on their bodies and it seems that they died because of their injuries. And the position of the bodies suggests that some injuries were made after death or during death. They are displayed like puppets and I assume some bones are broken. I think of course there was more than one aggressor. By the way, it was a violent, suffering and long death.
El: Ok, thanks. He looked around him as the last policemen packed the last evidences and left.
OUTSIDE OF CARPENTER RESIDENCE
Munch: Did you find anything interesting in the house?
El: I just talked to Warner, and you?
Munch: The neighbourhood did not say an interesting word. Just some gossips they like. And of course anybody heard a thing.
Fin: Well, it depends on if you're a cop or a journalist. I wandered through the crowd and listened to talks between neighbourhood and the press, and every one has gossips, everyone heard some noise, but anyone has the same version.
El: Good! So we have a long list of nothing… great
Much: I'm disappointed El, I thought that after so many years working together you would expect us to have something at least…They are Ana and Harry Carpenter. He works as a finance manager in a design company and she works for an estate agency. They just have one boy, they arrived here few months ago and they are seen by neighbours as a lovely quiet family. They love the way she used to dress and how she takes care of their child, and they love him for taking care of his family and even if sometimes he works late he always find a way to please his family.
Fin: The perfect life…. Good jobs, no money problem, beautiful house with well-done garden, lovely wife, lovely boy, good husband, good car too…yeah perfect life… except that they are now dead.
El: That's why we are here Fin…ok. I assume we have now to interview their colleagues. I go to the design company and you go to the estate agency?
Munch: ok boss! Come on, Fin we have to buy a house.
IN THE SOCIAL CENTER
Olivia entered the centre with Mathew still hanging to her. A tall and tough man came to her.
Walter: Good morning! Here is the monster I heard about? My name's Walter and you're…
Liv: He's not a monster. He's just a child afraid and he needs care, sweetness and most of all, patience!
Walter: ok, don't be so hard, I was just joking. I love children, that's why I decided to take the lead of this centre. I did not hear your name?
Liv: I'm detective Benson.
Walter: Nice to meet you detective, let me introduce you Lucy, she is the nanny who will take care of him.
Lucy: Welcome to the centre. I heard by my colleague you met at the house that he was crying hardly and did not let anyone approach him until you arrived?
Liv: Yeah, I don't know why, that's really strange. I mean, I'm not a mother, and your colleague is used to deal with this kind of situation and…She looked at Mathew who smiled at her. She smiled back. Anyway we are here now and I have to go back to work, but I'm afraid he would not let me go.
Lucy: Come with me we have a quiet room where we could learn each other more. We used to do this when some children are like Mathew.
Walter: Lucy, I have some work, I let you, please give me more information later!
He walked down the wall to turn in is desk.
Liv: He seems to be really concerned. Liv followed Lucy down a hall with paintings of bears and cartoons on walls,
Lucy: Yeah. We have plenty of kids here and leading such a centre requires a lot of work but he knows each child here, his story, his birthday, we have to register everything and he wants to know everything, till who lost a tooth, when and how. He's good, but sometimes a little too much concerned. Sometimes we would like to tell him: Just let us do our job. But he's the boss, you know. Here we are!
They entered a room with a lot of cushions, toys, teddy bears and tables with little seats, papers and pencils.
Liv: Eh Mathew, baby! Look at this wonderful room! Look! This teddy bear is almost as tall as you! Wanna touch it? Mmh? Come with me and let's touch it, I'm sure he's sweet. She kneeled down and put Mathew on his feet. His left hand was still gripped to her shoulder but as she touched the teddy bear he did the same and laughed. He looked at her. She smiled at him:
Liv: I think he wants to hug us. Ok, let me try first. She took the teddy in her arms and kissed it. Your turn, Mathew. He looked at her, laughed again and shyly held his hand out to the teddy bear. He touched it but as if it was warm he took is hand back, laughed again and looked at Olivia. You can hug him you know, look, I do it again. Let's try! She said softly. The nanny came to them and kneeled near Mathew.
Lucy: Hi Mathew, my name is Lucy.
He went straight to Liv's arms.
Lucy: Oh sweetie, don't be afraid, come with me?
Mathew shook his head.
Liv: Mathew, Lucy is a friend of mine, look! She pushed him just a little to have enough space to hug Lucy. Look, Mathew, you can hug her too. But Mathew was still gripped to Olivia and bit his lip.
Lucy: Ok, sweetie, I'll come back, ok? I let you here with…
Liv: Olivia, my name's Olivia.
Lucy: Stay with Olivia, I'll come back.
Liv: Where do you go?
Lucy: He needs to adapt himself to this new surrounding. He's not willing to let me approach him so we have to do it step by step. I let you with him for a while but I'm not far. If you have any problem I'm always there.
Liv: And what I am supposed to do?
Lucy: Stay with him! Just stay with him, you seem to have a good connection with him and you manage very well!
Liv stood open mouthed as Lucy left. She looked at Mathew who laughed again.
Liv: ok, little boy, it seems that you decided not to let me go to work. What are we going to do now? She asked him. He laughed again and took the teddy bear in his arms.
Liv: Ok, so now you prefer Teddy than me? Ok, so I go! She got up and he called her by a little cry. She turned:
Liv: What?
He put one finger in his mouth and looked at her.
Liv: No this kind of glance doesn't work with me!
He smiled at her and held his arms to her calling her with another little cry.
Liv: Oh my God!
She took him in her arms and kissed him on the cheek. You're so cute. She went to the toys and sat. She crossed her legs and put him between them.
Liv: Ok, let's see what this box can offer us….Awwh! A dinosaur! Do you like dinosaurs, Mathew? I do! And here, we have…..ouch…a half of a duck…the other half must be in the stomach of the dinosaur. What do you think? He turned to her laughing. He got up to rummage in the box and introduced his new friends to Olivia who welcomed each one.
Outside of the room Lucy looked at this scene with a smile. A lady came to her.
Lady: Good morning Lucy! May I know the subject of your smile?
Lucy: Good morning! A strange situation. Do you see the little boy and the woman with him? She's a cop. His parents were killed and she went to their house for the case. He did not let anyone approach him except her. So she is here with him instead of going to work. She's good with him, he seems to be traumatized and it will be difficult to become trustable for him. Look, she is completely at ease with him and vice versa.
Lady: Does she have a child?
Lucy: No.
Lady: She should.
Lucy: Yeah I think so. I let them together in this room and in few minutes I will join them. I hope he would let me take care of him. I don't think she planned to stay all the day here.
Lady: ok, I have to go but we keep in touch?
Lucy: As usual, of course, see you later!
A half an hour later Lucy entered the room with some drinks for her and Mathew.
Lucy: Someone's thirsty?
Liv: Oh God! I did not hear you enter.
Lucy: Excuse me. How are you?
Liv: We're good!
Lucy: What happened?
Liv: Well, I'm afraid the dinosaur ate a half of a duck, the dog barked at the dinosaur so the dinosaur ate the dog, and as the dinosaur ate the dog the cat scratched the dinosaur, and then…
Lucy: ok ok I see. Animal fights.
Liv: Exactly!
Lucy: Who won?
Liv: The donkey of course! She said with the donkey toy in her hand. Mathew got up from Liv's legs and laughed as he saw the donkey in her hand.
Knocks on the door.
Lucy: Come in!
Elliot stepped in a little:
El: Excuse me for disturbing you, I just wanted to have some news from you, Liv. Are you ready to go?
Liv: I'm sorry, I didn't have time to call you, you know, the donkey had to put the dinosaur down, so Mathew and I had a lot of stuff!
El: Mmh… I understand… and finally who won?
Liv: Tsss….. El, I can't imagine you could ever ask this question….
Lucy: It's time to try to leave.
Liv: I know.
She took the hands of Mathew in hers and looked at him.
Liv: Mathew, sweetheart, I have to go. But you know Lucy now. I promise you to come back, ok sweetie? Stay with her, she's my friend.
She got up and put the hands of Mathew into Lucy's.
Liv: See you later, Mathew.
He began to cry.
Liv: No sweetie, I'll come back, I promise you, but I have to go now.
Tears were coming into Liv's eyes.
Lucy: Olivia, go now, please, I will take care of him but you have to leave, now.
Liv: I know. Please call me if there is anything.
She held out her card.
Lucy: ok, don't worry!
Liv looked at Matthew once more, she bit her lip and left. Mathew shouted and cried as she made her way to the door and tears flowed down her cheeks. Elliot closed the door behind her and joined her in the hall. He put his hand on her shoulder as they walked.
El: Wanna a cup of tea somewhere before going to the precinct?
She wiped her tears.
Liv: Yeah, a cup of tea sounds good.
They exited the centre.
AT A BAR, FEW STREETS FURTHER
Olivia was looking at her cup of tea. Elliot took a sip of his coffee:
El: You don't like your tea?
She lifted her head to him and smiled.
Liv: Yeah, I do.
El: I'm sorry, it was obvious, I should not have asked.
Liv: What?
El: The donkey! We all know the donkey always wins!
Liv smiled as she took a sip of her tea.
Liv: Yeah…the donkey always wins.
El: We should keep this statement as a password. You know, if I come to your home, I call you through the intercom and as you hang up you'll say "password" and I'll answer "the donkey always wins".
Liv: You crazy, El!
El: What?
She shook her head.
El: Wanna talk about it?
Liv: I don't know.
El: I'm here for you
Liv: I know
El: So feel free to talk at any time
Liv: Thanks
El: Liv, I'm sorry. I mean, I am really sorry. I assume it must not be easy to talk about it, especially when I am a father.
Liv: El…
El: Let me talk Liv. I want you to know that I am for you, I want you to be sure of that.
Liv: I know…
El: Don't let the fact that I'm a father avoiding you to talk to me, ok? I'm your partner, your friend.
Liv: my love
El: Promise me, Liv.
Olivia looked at him straight in the eyes
Liv: I promise.
El: Good.
He smiled and took a last sip of his coffee.
El: You're ready? I think Cragen is crazy for waiting for us and it's a chance he did not already…
Ring
El: I remove what I said. Yeah Cap', we're on our way.
They stood up and left.