Miles was surprised he hadn't killed himself during English Lit. He had debated numerous times whether to just pick up his stuff and walk out due to the irrelevance of the lesson to his life. Especially since he couldn't concentrate on anything except the clock. Why did they never teach you anything relevant in school? Like how to live up to your dad's expectations, how to heal from a broken heart? How to work out who you were and what you wanted? The last thing he cared about right now was Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream. Although to be fair, he couldn't help noticing the irony of the story when he compared it to his own predicament right now. A magic spell casted by a naughty sprite had screwed up everyone's love lives. Sounded about right.

Now that lunch had finally rolled round, he was using his back to prop himself up against his locker, eyes up, staring at the ceiling as he pondered his fate. He'd dropped a text to Tristan during the lesson to meet him here, ten minutes or so after the bell rang. He'd prayed Tristan's phone was on silent, the last thing he wanted to happen was to have their meeting delayed because of an impromptu detention. Slyly he'd seen Tristan reach into the back pocket of his jeans, find his phone and read his text under the desk. He hadn't replied, he hadn't even looked at Miles in acknowledgment.

He couldn't lie, that had annoyed him. Was it just him that was desperate to see him? Urgent to finally have a chance to discuss what the fuck was going on between them. If so, then that didn't seem fair. That's not the way it used to be. He remembered back in the day when it used to be the other way round. Tristan used to run around after him, he'd joined basketball try outs, been at all his house parties, they'd even had lunch dates at Chunky Chicken. When exactly did the tables turn?

Tristan turning down the hallway with Zoe distracted him from his in depth analysis of their friendship. He was laughing with her, gossiping about some drama that he probably didn't give a fuck about, looking like he didn't have a care in the world. Still though he found himself smiling involuntarily, he liked seeing Tris looking happy.

'I'll see you later and we can carry on this debate then!' Zoe sang as she ran off to spend her lunch break doing something more fun than crawling the corridors, her brown hair flowing elegantly behind her.

'Yeah don't worry! I'll still prove you wrong later!' Tristan yelled after her in a jokey way as he strolled up to Miles who was still leaning against his locker. Miles hoped he looked hot as he tried his best to look careless himself. His dark hair had grown out a bit and was flicking down to his eyes, framing his face nicely.

'So, you wanted to see me?' Tristan said, his voice full of promise and the cheeky smirk that had appeared on his face wasn't lost on Miles.

'What exactly were you two debating?' Miles asked, curious. He'd suddenly been overcome by nervousness now he had Tristan in front of him, willing to talk. He'd run through what he had to say time and time again in his head when they weren't at school. Now he didn't really know how to get the words out.

'Deciding who we think is hotter out of Zig and Eli.' Tristan said, so fucking nonchalantly Miles immediately felt his stomach twist.

'Oh yeah? Whose team you on?' Miles asked, eyes going dark with annoyance. He didn't even know why he was asking, he didn't really want to hear the answer.

'Well I can't really imagine me on Team Novak. Can you?' Tristan replied, cocking an eyebrow as if he just wanted to wind Miles up.

Miles hated Zig. He hated every inch of the guy. He'd messed his life up again and again, he'd taken Maya away from him by preaching his pathetic sob story to anyone who would pay him a moment's attention. He'd been the third unwanted person in the most important relationship of his life yet. He'd literally taken everything that was important away from him, and twisted and abused it until it was unsalvageable. Just thinking about him made his blood boil.

'Anyway –' Tristan continued sensing the tension, 'What did you want to see me about?'

'You know what.' Miles retorted not quite being able shake the frustration he felt firstly at the fucking mention of Zig's name and secondly the fact that Tristan was trying to act like what had happened last week hadn't happened at all. He saw the sassiness drain out of Tristan at his tone, his eyes stopped sparkling and turned serious.

'I don't know what to say.' He stated. 'I know it happened, I know it felt good, but I don't want to get hung up on something that's never gonna happen.' He continued, turning the volume down on his voice so that no one would overhear them.

Miles scanned the area around them, everyone was on the move for lunch, talking in their own huddles, discussing the daily waste of their lives that Degrassi was. They needed to be somewhere private, somewhere they could actually talk.

'Come with me.' Miles whispered and he dashed off down the corridor at top speed, on the hunt for a quieter spot. He could sense Tris at his heels, they were the same height, both with long legs and they could both move fast when they had to. After disregarding the canteen, the common room and the greenhouse he turned a sharp right, leading them in to an empty classroom.

'Better.' He confirmed out loud as his blonde crush shut the door behind them.

'Depends what for.' Tristan stated. Miles didn't have time to dwell on all the possible things that could occur between them both in an empty classroom with no one else around. They had to sort this out.

'Who said this isn't gonna happen?' Miles questioned, wanting to know what sort of impression he'd given off that had crushed his late night fantasies before they'd even really got started. He was a teenager and his urges were relentless yet consistent and they were all for the guy in front of him. He had told Tristan at his that it had felt right, what more could he have given him that symbolised a gigantic fucking green light.

'Well last time I checked, you were straight.' Tristan accused and Miles could sense the bitterness in his tone. That cleared things up a bit, Tristan thought this was his way of getting over Maya, he thought he was Miles irrelevant experimental rebound.

'I don't know what I am.' Miles replied honestly. 'Straight, gay, bi, I haven't got a clue. Doesn't mean I don't want you.'

'I know you don't want me. You want Maya. Weren't you saying a few weeks ago how much you loved her?' Tristan said avoiding his eyes.

'Yeah and then if you remember last week we were kissing.' Miles countered.

'It was a mistake. We're friends, we're best friends. I don't want to put that at risk.' Tristan said. That was a fair point. He didn't want to put it at risk either, put they kind of already had. The lines had already been crossed.

'Look Tris, just forget about Maya for a second. Forget about all the fucking stuff that makes this so complicated. I just want to know what you want, because if we want the same thing, then I don't see the point in us pretending. What sort of friendship is that?'

None of what was coming out of Miles mouth was what he had practiced. It was then that he realised you can never prepare yourself for moments in life like this. The moments that are important, the moments that decide where you're going to go from here on out. He could see Tris arguing with himself inside his head, battling between pretending he didn't really mind and the truth.

'I want you.' He eventually answered with a sigh.

'I want you too.' Miles rushed out, trying to reassure Tris he wasn't in any doubt about that.

'But that doesn't mean we can be anything. All of them things that make it complicated? Those things are important.'

'I'm not saying it has to be serious. But I don't think we can go back to how we were, not until we see how this goes. If I tried to tell you that I understand this, that I get it, then I'd be lying. I don't know where this has come from and I don't know why, but I don't wanna lose you.'

Miles felt like his heart was on the line. The one person who had never walked away from him, with the exception of Chewy anyway, was Tristan. For once it wasn't him with the power, in that second he gave Tris the choice, the choice to give up on him if he couldn't do it. If he wanted to leave, he was free to, no strings.

'Can't we just –' Tristan began before shaking his head, re-evaluating what he was going to say, but Miles didn't want that. He didn't want well thought out words. He wanted whatever felt real.

'What?' he pushed.

Tristan looked up at him properly for the first time in a week and looked him square in the eye, finding his determination to voice how he felt.

'Can't we just take it slow?'

Miles thought about that. Slow. Slow wasn't something he'd really bargained on. He'd been imagining a secret affair, fast and risky. Scenario's that had his blood pumping and adrenaline racing. On thinking about it, he should have known better. This was Tristan, he was gentle and sweet. In time, Miles thought, maybe he would change that, but right now, he'd take what he could get.

'Slow sounds good.' Miles answered, a smile tugging at his mouth, lifting all of his features with it.