A Different Kind of Hero
~xxx~
Chapter 2
~xxx~
Sakura sat in silence, barely listening to Kakashi's words as he addressed the differences between substances and mixtures when branched from matter. Her pen swirled lightly on the paper of her notebook; a cluster of spirals covered the white lined page of her notes.
She didn't like holding grudges against people she was sure weren't all bad, but he'd let her down and it had struck a nerve that didn't want to be repaired. Her mind didn't want to forgive him, but her heart did and tried to tell her busy thoughts that he wasn't all bad and that perhaps his reason for not showing up was an infallible one.
"Sakura, are you with us?" Kakashi asked coolly for the third time in a row. She had completely zoned out of the conversation the class was having, doodling in her notebook. She'd done it yesterday as well, almost like she was trying to ignore him. He sighed.
She picked her head up, her cheeks going red, "Uh, yeah, sorry."
"It's fine. Can you name a substance?"
Shit, she thought, Should've paid more attention. "Um, Water?"
"Just water?"
"Yeah?" Her voice cracked as she slunk farther down in her chair, embarrassed to have been caught off guard.
He smiled at her, "Sort of right, you could say. Just water isn't considered a substance, but pure water is. What do I mean by that?"
"That it's not contaminated by anything, right? With no minerals, salt or pollution, just water?" Sasuke asked, his pencil still moving across his paper as he finished copying the notes on the board.
"Yes, that's right. A substance, summed up, is something that is always made of the same things, not matter where you get it, thus pure water." He grinned from ear to ear as he sat on the edge of his desk, glancing at his watch. "We made good time today, guys. You can pack it up."
Sasuke rolled his eyes and looked to Sakura who was again occupied with drawing swirls in her notebook. "Where's Kiba?"
Naruto laughed, "He stayed home yesterday and today; his mom called Coach and said he couldn't play tonight's game. You must have really done a number on him Sakura-chan." He patted her on the back jokingly. "So who won the other night?"
Sakura grinned fakely, "I've been working on my fatalities, and Noob Sai-bot kicked Reptile's ass."
Naruto shook his head, "You got cocky, Sasuke. She always wins in the end."
"Yeah…" She muttered; taking her stuff from the desk as the bell rang. She left without another word to them.
Naruto looked to Sasuke after a moment, dumbstruck, "Is she alright?"
Sasuke shrugged, "Maybe. You know how she is. She wrote for quite awhile in her tech-journal the other night. And what she doesn't tell us goes in there."
"So there is something wrong?" Naruto tried to make the connection.
"I said maybe, she writes about her day as well so maybe she had a good day?"
"Or a violent one."
"Mm…" He hummed in response, "I just wish she'd let us in on what's going on in that head of hers. I hate it when she goes all recluse on us."
"I do too." Naruto hugged his books tight to his chest, "It's not good for her."
"Come on ladies! Let's move those feet!" Anko yelled as she watched her fifth period gym class race down the sports field passing and dribbling soccer balls.
Sakura was panting, fatigued and pissed. She knew that her gym partner, Hinata, had noticed the bad mood when she'd passed the ball a little too forcefully, and been a little to aggressive playing 'dummy-defense' but she hadn't said anything, and Sakura thanked her for that.
She was letting herself get so worked up over nothing. It wasn't like her. Things didn't bother her, but just thinking of the fact that Mr. Hatake had said he wouldn't let the fight happen made her angry, even more so than before. And that's all she could think about. He'd lied, and she and Sasuke had paid, even though Kiba had gotten his too.
She looked down and kicked the ball across the field with the inside of her foot, sending it rolling to Hinata as she sprinted forward.
Sakura couldn't help but laugh sardonically when Anko blew her whistle signaling class was over. She liked the challenge soccer was to her; it gave her something to focus on other than the betrayal she felt towards a teacher she'd only just met.
"Good job today, Sakura. You really improved over the summer!" Anko patted her on the back a little too forcefully, pushing the Sakura forward the slightest bit.
"Thanks Miss Mitarashi…"
Sakura scowled when she went back inside; she was in a pissy mood and she didn't know what to do to fix it. She'd even changed her clothes with vehemence; and her mood only went down hill from there when Mr. Hatake greeted her on her way to lunch past his room.
"Oh, hey Sakura can I talk to you?"
She huffed angrily before answering, "I'd like to get to lunch actually. If you don't mind."
He shook his head, "I mind, actually. I wanted to apologize for not helping with the fight when it happened, I was caught up in something important and when I did get out there it was over."
"Your apology isn't going to turn back the time, make me like you, or fix the bruise that Sasuke took to his self esteem." She hissed at him, "So save the sob story and let me go to lunch and eat."
He nodded, disappointed, "I understand." He tilted his head toward the cafeteria, "You can go now."
His heart felt heavy. He didn't like letting people down, and in a way, she'd let her down in a very big way.
She turned on her heal and left him standing in the hall by himself.
"Hey, Hatake. Long time no see!" A deep voice said from behind the silver haired man. Kakashi turned with a smile.
"Asuma! How have you been?" He asked reverently. "Good, I hope?"
"Pretty good; sad we couldn't catch up sooner; but I'm on hall duty Thursday's, so I guess that can make up for lost time, ne?" The burlier man laughed heartily, "So how have you been?"
"Mmm, fairly well I suppose. I've seen Genma, Iruka and Anko already, caught up and stuff. I'm going to dinner at Genma's tomorrow actually, though I don't think his…Sakura Haruno cares for me much."
Asuma's brow rose, "Sakura, not like you? What'd you do to get on her bad side? She's probably the least predisposed kid in this school."
"Mm, I believe I let her down the other day. I didn't have time to speak with her yesterday, but the day before she came to me saying that there was going to be a fight and she didn't want anyone to get hurt."
"The one between Sasuke and Kiba, I heard about it from Ino Yamanaka. She said it was over pretty fast."
Kakashi shrugged, "I feel bad for letting her down though, so I apologized and she doesn't want to talk to me at all. She's acting weird, of course that could just be because of me."
"Nah, Genma noticed it too, and so did Kurenai." Asuma told him as they strolled the length of the hall, "She has those days and she's pretty reserved and likes to sort things out herself. Give her time, she'll forgive you."
"I heard somewhere that she's going to graduate with a perfect one-hundred average?"
"That's the plan if she keeps this year's grades up. Why?"
He scratched his jaw casually, "I was curious."
"Yeah? Well, she's a good student, so don't let her shitty mood throw you off."
"I'll remember that...Do you still smoke?"
"Yeah, but I cut down to three packs a day." He held his hand up, showing his achievement with the same number of fingers.
"That's good. I quit completely about a year ago."
"Good god, how'd you do it?"
He laughed lightly, "Cold-turkey; it was a bitch, but I did it."
"Well, I'm proud." Asuma laughed along with his friend, "Have you seen Ibiki lately?"
"Told you, I haven't seen anyone yet. I've been back and forth from here and home trying to still unpack, and I've been trying to get all my paperwork straight." He rubbed that back of his head sheepishly. "How's the sadist doing?"
"Alright, you were assigned pages three-twenty-four through three-thirty-nine to read and comprehend and then you were to answer questions one-through-fifty." Ibiki stood at the front of his math class writing the due assignment on the white board. "Pass them forward. You've had two days to do it, and it should be done, and done right."
Sakura shrugged when Shikamaru turned back in his chair to take her paper and gave her a skeptical look, she handed hers forward and sighed when every set of eyes in the room focused on her and her completed homework.
'Nerd'-'Geek'-'Freak'; she tried to ignore the whispered insults as Mr. Morino started in with the next lesson in their text books.
She sighed and started doodling over her notebook cover, still trying to ignore the grievances people had against her. She didn't even flinch when a wadded up ball of paper hit the back of her head and landed by her feet.
She just sat there and continued doodling. She moved slowly when the bell rang and she made her way slowly to her study hall and after that her locker, the end of the day a warmly welcomed thing. She could go home and write, listen to blaring music, and not have to deal with the human race for a few hours.
"Hey Sakura." Hinata greeted her as she walked through the double doors.
"Hey." Sakura said with a weak smile, "Good job in gym."
"Th-thanks. You too, you were really good t-today." She smiled at her taller friend, "What are you doing t-tonight?"
"Going home and sleeping," She laughed lightly, "You?"
Her eyes sparkled with joy, "Going out with Naruto, h-he's t-taking m-me to dinner."
"Sounds fun." Sakura liked Hinata. She was good for Naruto, and it made her smile thinking about how worked up the girl got when they talked about him, her barely noticeable stutter becoming for defined with excitement.
"Mmm…" Hinata hummed as they met the boys at the top of the steps, "Hey." She smiled at her boyfriend before kissing him long and hard on the lips.
Sakura exchanged glances with Sasuke before waving her goodbyes to her friends and heading home, her mind racing.
She slammed the front door of her house as she entered and stomped her way upstairs, completely ignoring Shizune's look of question. She just wanted to be alone and her nosy sister didn't understand that.
She pulled her laptop from its drawer after kicking her sneakers off and dropping her bag by her locked door. She turned it on, turned on her music and opened her writing program her fingers typing her emotions furiously fast.
…The nerve of him! Apologizing after that? Does he really think that will help? A close friend now bears the scars of that utterly useless battle, both inside and out and I?I bear the vigor of a serpent ready to strike down its prey.
Perhaps I am too quick to judge the man; his past deems him shadows of dark whilst his personality screams of a radiant jubilance. Still yet, he lied to me, concerning a very serious matter of that which could have taken a turn for the very worse had someone thought to pull a weapon.
I am struggling again in that stupor which drags me down and I feel as if I'm drowning in my own emotion because of it. The darkened dungeons of my melancholy thoughts have once again opened their doors to me and I am only more than obliged to enter through them…
Sakura looked up from the screen as Shizune called her name from downstairs, no doubt wanting to talk about her mood. She was more than positive that Genma had noticed during History, and she was fairly certain her sister had noticed when she'd stomped up the stairs and locked herself in her room without a word.
She hated explaining herself. She was eighteen; she should be allowed to pout. "Coming!" She yelled as she exited out of the program. She crawled off of her bed and slowly went down stairs to meet Genma and Shizune in the kitchen.
"You're home early," She noted as her gaze flickered to Genma's.
"I'm home at my usual time, pinky. You've been upstairs so I hear."
She shrugged, "So?"
Shizune looked at her pleadingly, "Is everything alright?"
"I'm fine, I'm just tired." She sighed, sitting up on a stool at the island. "Is that all you wanted?"
Shizune nodded, "Yeah. Oh, and don't forget, Kakashi is coming over for dinner tomorrow, alright?"
"Whatever…" She muttered as she headed back upstairs. "I could care less."
Shizune only shook her head and looked to Genma sadly, "Why won't she talk to us? It's not like were going to rip her a new ass if she's having problems."
"You know her, baby. She likes to keep to herself."
"I just wish she wouldn't."
Genma looked to the empty doorway, "I know…"
Sakura looked up occasionally as Kakashi spoke about defining an element. He rambled on more to himself, she laughed silently, than he did to the class. It was almost like he was nervous teaching them. His eyes would move from them to the ceiling and then to the back of the room and to them again.
She scrawled the notes down quickly as he changed pages and she went back to doodling and occasionally staring out the window aimlessly. She sighed and looked back to the board where Kakashi had scribbled the formulas for water, glucose and salt.
"These are made up of elements, what are they called?"
Sakura just stared at the letters and numbers and looked to Sasuke as he answered the question with a simple, "Compounds"
"Very good." He smiled, and turned to the board, scrawling the word compounds in big sloppy letters. "Elements make compounds. Thus completes our substances part of the diagram. There will be a test on this Monday, so I suggest studying and doing that sheet I gave you at the beginning of class." He told the class as they packed up and got ready for their next class. "If you have any problems I suggest you come in and talk to me during my free periods or even during a class. That's all for today."
Sakura closed her notebook unhurriedly and turned to smile at her friends, "So, this test should be pretty easy."
Naruto nodded, "Yeah. I like chemistry."
Sasuke swatted at Naruto's shoulder, "Don't be saying that in front of the teacher, dobe, he could make our lives a living hell if he wanted to."
"He seems pretty nice to me." Naruto scratched the back of his head before lacing his fingers at the base of his neck. "I don't think the guy could be mean if he wanted to be. He's so…happy."
"Mm…" Sasuke hummed in agreement. "You don't seem to like him very much Sakura, what do you have against him?"
"I don't have anything against him. I'm just tired." She looked up at the clock pleadingly, the minutes seeming to slow down with the topic of the current conversation. Why did everyone feel like prying? So she was in a bad mood, didn't everyone have them?
She huffed in relief when the bell finally rang and she headed to Health class with Asuma. She had to laugh at him, he knew how to lighten the mood with the most awkward of situations and she thought it ironic that he was the health teacher and he smoked constantly.
She smiled weakly at him as she sat down next to Ino.
"Good Morning Health class, how are we doing today?" He joked as he sat on his desk in the front of the room. "I thought it would be nice if we talked about something that interests you guys for a change, any ideas?"
A few of the kids muttered their ideas to themselves while others rolled their eyes. Gaara raised his hand.
"Yes, Gaara?"
"We could talk about the reproductive system…again."
Asuma shook his head, "Why is that topic so interesting?"
Ino laughed, "We could talk about sex instead. It's Health related."
Sakura smiled at Ino and glanced at Young Sarutobi, as they referred to him so as not to mix him up with his father, the principal. It was funny how that one little word perked everyone in the class up. "Are you giving out free condoms again?" She asked amused.
"Depends on the discussion. What about sex do you want to talk about, STD's, teen pregnancy…the reproductive systems?"
"Protection?" Choji Akamichi suggested.
"Condom promotions?" Another suggested.
Asuma shook his head with a booming laugh, "Make sure to wrap it, before you tap it boys and girls."
The entire class let out a riotous giggle.
"Children in the backs seat cause accidents, accidents in the back seat cause children."
Sakura shook her head and opened her notebook, "This day just gets better and better…." She muttered to herself as she started scribbling.
When the bell rang, the class moved in a rush for the door to go to lunch and Sakura's notebook sit lying open on the desk forgotten in the interesting conversation held in her Health class.
Asuma walked through the aisles picking up the trash left by his class, his brow furrowed as he came to the desk shared by Ino and Sakura. He turned the notebook around so he could clearly see the picture that had been drawn in it. He picked it up and left his room.
"Hey Kakashi!" He called down the hall, catching a glimpse of his friend as he turned the corner going to the lounge for his lunch.
Kakashi turned around to face Asuma, "Hey. What's up?"
"I wanted you to see this…Sakura left it on her desk in my class by accident. I don't usually pay attention to what they write in the notebooks but…I think you need to see this." He held out the spiral pad of paper for his associate to see.
Kakashi's brow rose, "That's Sakura's?"
"Yeah."
"You should probably show Genma that…" He said slowly as he looked over the black and white picture drawn in pen.
Asuma shook his head, "They would worry."
"They should if she'd drawing things like this." He referenced to the notebook in his hand. "She's obviously having issues."
"You show them then. Or why don't you talk to her?"
Kakashi shifted uncomfortably, "She doesn't like me." He played with the strap of his bag on his shoulder, "And I don't want to be in the middle of that…Why did you show me?"
"You know exactly why."
Kakashi's eyes left his friends and shot for the floor, "It's not like I can just magically fix her problems..."
"Here's your chance to redeem yourself." He said putting his hand on his friends shoulder.
"She won't hear of it." He shook his head.
"Well someone better before it gets worse."
"If you were smart you'd put the book back before she realizes it's missing."
Asuma shook his head, "I thought you'd do something to help her."
Kakashi hung his head to his chest as his friend walked away and back to his room. His heart heavier than before, had he caused her to draw that picture of the girl dying? He wasn't sure if he would be able to not intervene if he had been the reason for her despair. She obviously needed someone who would understand what she was going through, but that was the problem, he didn't know.
Her home life sounded pretty decent and she had real friends that cared about her more than anything. It was in his opinion the happiest an angst ridden teen could be.
Sakura rummaged through her bag ninth period as she looked for her doodling notebook. It was no where to be found. "Shit…" She muttered before walking up to her study hall teacher. "Miss Yuuhi can I go get my notebook? I left it in Mr. Sarutobi's classroom."
Kurenai looked up from her test papers, "Yes. Just sign out."
Sakura wrote her name on the sheet and left the room. She slowly walked down the hall, hoping and praying that he hadn't seen the picture she'd drawn over her notes. She was feeling down. Even more so than usual, and she knew that it had more to do with her emotional state rather than Kakashi's broken promise. She just didn't know what to do with it, with her emotions but write them out or draw them in angsty pictures.
She knocked on Asuma's door before entering the room and smiled fakely at him. "I left my notebook."
He nodded to her desk, where it sat, "Still there."
She grabbed it quickly and left with a curt nod; in too much of a hurry to notice that it was opposite her chair. She closed it as she walked down the hall and signed back into study hall. She didn't need anyone reading it; it would only get her in trouble.
She sighed with relief when the bell rang shortly after and she left. She stopped at the top of the steps to wait for Naruto, Sasuke and Hinata. They met her a few moments later outside.
"Hey Sakura-chan. Are you coming to our game tomorrow?" Sasuke asked casually, adjusted his bag on his shoulders. "We're going against Kusa, and we're going to kick ass."
Sakura shrugged, "I might. Is it home?"
"Nah, that's next week's game against Suna and we'll win then too." The young Uchiha said with a wide grin plastered across his face.
"Don't let Gaara here you say that, he's still pretty dedicated to the Sand."
Naruto snorted, "Leaf freaking rocks. Our soccer team will be undefeated this year."
Sakura smiled, "Let's hope same goes for the football team. Don't want to be beat on our home turf."
"Hells yes we'll be national champions this year, you watch." Naruto nodded. "Oh, and have fun with dinner tonight!" He yelled down the steps as Sakura started for her home.
"Bite me!" She yelled back with a slight grin.
She walked through the front door and went into the kitchen after dropping her bag on the stairs. "Hey sis."
"Hey. We're having miso soup with my famous teriyaki."
"Sounds good. I can't wait." She said as she opened the fridge and grabbed a water bottle.
Shizune looked at her as she opened the bottle, "You will be joining us, right?"
Sakura scowled, "Do I have to?"
"It would be nice."
"Fine." She uttered, "I'm going online for a bit, then I'm hopping in the shower before dinner. Okay?"
"That's fine. Six-thirty, we eat." Shizune told her sister as she started getting her pan out for the meal.
Sakura started upstairs and kicked her shoes off as entered her room. She went to her bed and grabbed her computer before curling up on her pillows.
The ocean of turmoil I feel seems to be getting progressively worse, I'm still able to function like a human, but I wonder if my thoughts are what will be my downfall. I don't feel happy, or cheery but merely down and confused and hurt.
I asked only days ago the pain that lie behind the charcoal eyes of a hero-gone-villain, but now my thoughts are that of do people see the pain behind mine own eyes? I certainly hope not, for I fear the fussing that would pursue the conformation of my internal struggles.
Why do I even bother to hide what is so predominately clear? Of course they've noticed a change in my moods, my false happiness, how long will this charade of mine last until the dreary dark is lightened in my mind? How long must I struggle with these raging feelings? They say that the morning after the storm is always the brightest, so I hope that in time, my storm will fade away leaving only brightest of lights.
Until then, my only light seems to be the support of friends, yet I don't believe they truly comprehend my struggle with these emotions. Sometimes knowing that they're there for me is enough to be my candle in the dark and guide me to another day…
Sakura looked to her clock and turned her computer off. After grabbing a change of clothes she made her way to the bathroom to take her shower. She turned the water on and let the steam gather before stripping down and stepping in.
She let the water run down her back and through her hair, almost as if it would wash away the pain she felt inside. She shuddered and began to soap her body, scrubbing roughly with a washcloth.
After washing her hair, Sakura climbed out, shut the water off and dried off with a fluffy white towel. She pulled her change of clothes on (a tank, hoodie, and a pair of jeans) and began brushing her hair out.
She didn't feel like drying it, so she merely combed it into a ponytail and left the bathroom and leisurely made her way down the stairs. A light knock on the door.
She sighed and opened it. Kakashi stood outside, wearing nothing but a pair of loose fitting jeans, a tight grey t-shirt and black vest. He had a great sense of fashion. Sakura would give him that much.
"Um…come in, I guess." She muttered to him as she stepped back from the door. He walked and smiled at her.
"Genma told me to come by around six."
"He won't be home for another half hour then, its quarter of. Shizune should be in the kitchen though, come on…" She lead him into the kitchen her sister no where to be found. "Shizune?" She called out.
Kakashi looked around the kitchen coolly, admiring the granite counter tops and molding along the ceilings. The dark green color was calming and he couldn't help but smile. He liked earth tones.
Sakura picked a note up from off the table and read it to herself silently.
Sakura,
Ran to the store to get chicken, I forgot to pick some up earlier. I'll be back soon. If Kakashi gets there before I get back, try to be nice.
-Shizune
"Um looks like she went out for something. She'll be home soon." She turned around awkwardly, "Um…"
Kakashi laughed, "So did you do your homework?"
She shook her head, "Nope. Waiting till the last minute.'
"Ah." He commented before asking a question that had been plaguing him for a few while "Are you mad at me?"
She cocked an eyebrow, "What gave you that impression?"
"Well, you did yell at me yesterday and say you didn't like me." He rubbed the back of his head nervously as he shifted from one foot to the other nervously. He hated awkward situations and this was one of them, did he bring up the notebook thing, did he leave it be? These were the thoughts crossing his mind.
She rolled her eyes, "Sasuke got beat up, I got hit in the face and Kiba got his nose broken. You lied, you said it wouldn't happen, so I'm going to be a little pissed don't you think?" She crossed her arms over her chest as she sat on one of the stools at the island.
"I apologize for not being able to help. I mean it genuinely when I say that I tried to get out there."
"I went to you because I thought you'd actually help us out. You're just like the others though…"
"That's not true, Sakura. Believe me when I say that I meant what I said, even though my actions don't speak so clearly of that." He sighed and leaned his hip against the island, "I really want to help."
She looked up confused, "Help with what?"
"Something is bothering you; please tell me you aren't drawing pictures of dying people because I couldn't break up the fight in time."
Her face paled and her stomach seemed to drop with the look he gave her, almost like he could see what was going on in her head, "You know about that?"
"So does Asuma."
"You didn't tell Genma…did you?" She swallowed hard and prayed the answer was no.
"No."
Her chin rested against her chest, "I don't want to talk about it."
"Was it me though?"
"No, not really."
"Not really?"
She picked her head up, "I don't want to talk about it." She looked to the doorway as Shizune came inside taking her jacket off, her bag of groceries switching hands.
The older woman looked into the kitchen. "Kakashi! Ah, long time no see!" She smiled brightly, "Sakura was nice to you?"
He smiled back at Shizune, "She was a lovely host." He looked to her seriously, "We were just talking about chemistry class and how much she likes it."
Shizune smiled to Sakura, "Oh well that's great that she likes it." Shizune put the groceries on the counter next to the stove. "Genma will be home soon."
"I'm going to go upstairs." Sakura told them as she hopped from her stool and headed from the doorway. She turned, "Just call me down when he gets here."
"Alright." Shizune said as she turned on the stove and began cooking.
Sakura shuddered, the look Kakashi gave spoke the words he didn't say 'we will finish this conversation'. Just the thought of being alone with him again made her nervous. What was it about him that made her feel like that?
She went into her room and sat down in front of her mirror, playing with her BC glasses. She felt almost naked around him, despite her extra layers of clothing. It wasn't even that she felt alien in her own skin, but that she felt like he saw through her despite their limited contact.
"Fuck…" She muttered as she laid her head on her desk, the cool wood pressed against her cheek. She started humming as she waited to be called down stairs, her songs changing but all with the same message. She needed someone, anyone to pull her from the darkness she'd fallen into and be her guiding light brighter than the small candle she carried.
She got to her feet when she heard the door open, and made her way down the stairs as Genma took his coat off and hung it on the rack by the front door. "Hey." She said weakly.
Genma looked up with a smile, "Hello, Gorgeous." He reached out and ruffled her hair, "Is Kakashi here?"
"Yeah…He's in the kitchen with Shizune." She watched as he started for the kitchen, "When are you literally moving in here?"
"As soon as my lease runs out, and that's only a couple weeks. Does it matter though; I spend ninety-nine percent of my time here."
She shrugged, "I was just wondering, I knew it was soon but I didn't know when." She tugged at the strings on her hoodie as she followed Genma into the kitchen where Kakashi and Shizune sat seemingly deep in conversation.
"Hey, Baby." Genma cheered as he put his hands on the older woman's shoulders and kissed her cheek. "Hello Kakashi."
Shizune smiled up at her lover, and Kakashi merely nodded to his friend acknowledging the greeting. Kakashi's gaze slipped from the couple in front of him to Sakura, who stood brooding in the doorway with her head hung and her hands in the pockets of her sweatshirt.
Genma looked to Sakura after pouring himself a tall glass of milk, "Why don't you go turn on the TV in the livingroom or something, from the looks dinner will be a little late tonight."
Sakura rolled her eyes and looked to Kakashi, "Do you want to watch TV?"
He shrugged and she sighed.
"Just call me down when dinner is done."
"Why don't you show Kakashi some of your writing? If memory serves he was quite an avid reader in high school." The older woman suggested with a smile. "Granted it wasn't exactly school appropriate but he still used to read a lot.
Sakura felt her face go red, "I…" She stopped mid-sentence and looked to Kakashi. "Let's turn on the TV." She left the kitchen with a sigh and went into the livingroom and turned on the TV manually before sitting in one of the easy chairs, Kakashi following shortly after.
She flipped through channels with the remote, occasionally glancing to Kakashi, who sat on the couch with his ankle resting atop his knee, his arms spread over the backrest. There wasn't anything good on, she thought to herself. She tossed the control to Kakashi, "Watch what you want." She stood and quickly made her way up the stairs to grab her computer and her headphones.
Kakashi watched as she stomped her way up the stairs before paying any mind to the screen hanging on the wall in front of him. There was absolutely nothing on, he mulled silently before settling with the science channel on a show about the reproductive organs of mammals. That was Asuma's territory, he thought with a smile, what that man saw that, he didn't understand.
That made him think about the last time he'd had sex, seeing as how his thoughts had slipped to the subject of reproduction. He hated that he couldn't recall the last time, and wondered if it had been one of those 'unforgettable nights' in a bar. While he doubted it, it definitely made him think on the matter. Maybe that's what he needed to get his new-old life in Konoha started again, was to get laid. Anko was single again, he thought humorously, wondering what Ibiki would do if he found out that he was thinking her in such a way. The man would surly hang him above his fireplace by his balls.
He needed to stop reading those damned books in his free time; they were starting to affect his head in a gutter-like way.
Sakura went back downstairs and sat back in her chair, computer in her lap with her headphones in, music blaring loudly as she wrote:
One day I realize, the small flickering light of a small candle won't be enough to find my way through the darkness and while I should approach the subject much sooner than intended I leave it to lie until that day comes when the darkness becomes so indefatigably overwhelming that I become lost in it's depths without the light of that hero soul to guide me from the bottomless culvert of the shadows of my thoughts and actions.
Superheroes don't exist, and if they do, I've never met one to reveal his identity. Yet the man sitting to my left once held the possibility of hero-champion, he's the closest I've come, but I now sulk in the falseness in which he led me on. I ramble insistently of the mishap between us, the sting of the wound still healing over slowly, too slowly perhaps for my own liking.
What is wrong with me? Why am I, usually happy and carefree, now dreary and sulking inside with a false exterior worn to hide the pain I feel from the torment I'm suffering…
When Shizune called for dinner, Sakura closed from her writings and sat across from Kakashi at the small table as they began to eat.
She moved her fork around her plate, after taking a few bites and just stared at the food in front of her. She wasn't in the mood for food or the pointless dinner conversation that they made; talking of the past, future, where their careers had taken them and other nonsense she could've cared less about. She didn't perk up until Kakashi began speaking of his high school experiences.
"Remember when Tsunade first caught me with the Icha Icha novels?" He asked his friends with a laugh, "She nearly took them away and told me such smut was not allowed in her classroom."
Genma let out a howl of laughter, "I remember that. Obito took them after that and read them out loud in class; we got a formal detention for it." He shook his head with a smile, "Good times, good times."
"It was after that when Obito died…" kakashi's smile dimmed.
Who was Obito? Sakura thought as she became more intent on the conversation.
"Rin had always told me that I pulled him through everything and the reason he hadn't told me what was going on was because he didn't want to worry me…It's hard to believe looking back now that he did what he did. He always seemed so happy and upbeat, but no one really knew he was struggling so much with everything."
Sakura cleared her throat, "What happened?"
Three sets of eyes; Brown, Black and Charcoal; looked to her. Kakashi's face seemed to dim even more so, "He killed himself." He poked at the food on his plate, "People bullied him, and truth be told I was guilty of that for the longest time, until freshmen year and we got two-weeks of formal detention for fighting in the hallway. After that we were nearly inseparable, he became my best friend."
Sakura's heart dropped and her stomach seemed to flip as her eyes left Kakashi's momentarily. "Oh…"
"That's why I was so proud when you stood up for Sasuke the other day. It really hit home for me, because I knew what it was like to be bullied and be the bully, and I know how hard it was for you to do that not only for yourself but for your friends as well." Kakashi sighed, "Hindsight is always twenty-twenty, and I wish I was more like you when I was younger."
"You stopped bullying him though, that's something." Sakura told him quietly.
Kakashi smiled weakly at her, "Yeah, I guess it is."
Sakura couldn't help but smile as her impression of Kakashi seemed to jump up again, the slightest bit. She knew he understood now, her faith in him once again developing but still skeptically outweighed.
~xxx~