I was brought back from my reverie when Castle's hold on my waist tightens; I snuggled in closer to his chest and buried my head further. His steady breathing soothed the uneasy feeling deep inside me. For the past two months, being with Castle had made me feel nothing but happiness. A true happiness that I haven't felt in a long time not since my mother passed away. It dawned to me how she won't be able to see me with someone that I loved or maybe the day me and Castle will be married. When she was murdered, a part of me died with her. Everyday I thought about her death, and every time I felt guilty for not catching my mother's murderer.

Grief ate up what was left of me, and I was unable to find true happiness until this day. Before I was terrified of letting someone in, worried that they would get hurt like what happened to my mother or worse. For years I lived in misery and struggled to live a normal life. A life that my mother would've wanted: a stable family, a house, a husband and hopefully children. But I know I was far from that. It wasn't until someone stepped into my life, bringing me back to life. I swear when I first glanced at his direction, nothing mattered but him.

The sadness in me disappeared when I looked at his charming face. And for the first time, I felt alive. I felt a strong pull towards this man, and his breathtaking smile, and from that day on, I had to be his.

A few months had passed and I began to be closer to him, I felt the attraction between us and surely he did as well. It was more like friendship at the beginning but later on we couldn't deny our feelings for one another.

We tried staying off as friends but it became torturous for the both of us. I couldn't take my eyes off him, and he couldn't with me. Even with a slight brush of our hands left us staring at one another, the scene around us didn't matter and was forgotten. It was a Friday night when Castle finally confessed his feelings for me; I was working on a case back at home when a knock snapped me from my thoughts.

I had opened the door, and was surprised as his lips instantly crashed into mine; my gasps were muffled by his moans. He had closed the door with his feet and shoved me gently against the wall and broke the kiss. I stared at his eyes that were glazed over with lust and hunger. I was breathing for air when his voice pierced the silence and our heavy breathing.

"Kate," he breathed out, and continued placing volcanic kisses along my jaw. I whimpered at the warmth of his lips, and wanted badly for those lips to crash into mine again. "Please, I want you so badly. I want all of you." Again he placed hungry kisses all over my jaw line and kisses my earlobe.

"Say that you want me too." I gasped as he nibbled on my earlobe and whimpered as his tongue licked the shell of my ears. His hands skimmed all over my body and stopped short where the zipper of my pants were. I willed for those hands to move but they stayed frozen in place. I glanced up at his face and saw nothing but lust and desire.

"Rick, I want you, always. But please…" I begged him. Even my own voice sounded raw, but I needed him right then and there. A smirk appeared on his face and his lips found mine again. That was two blissful months ago, when Castle claimed me as his, when he became mine and I became his.

xxx

I was so lost in my thoughts as Castle's hands trailed playful circles on my stomach. I sighed and breathed in his familiar smell that I've grown to love, and addicted to. I couldn't help myself but touch every part of his body; his surprisingly rock hard abs, his chiseled chest and the cut of his V. I heard him suck in a breath as I came close to his 'shaft' but I brought my hands up back to chest.

"Good morning," I say a little too shyly and stared at him through my eyelashes. I felt my face turn warm as he gave me his famous lopsided grin.

"Good morning, had a good night I take it?" he said.

I stiffed a giggle and playfully smacked his chest. "Quite interesting but I've had better," I teased.

He gasped and placed his hand above his heart, pretending as if he were offended. I laughed and made to get up only to be stopped by his massive hands on my hips, trapping me from moving.

"I'll prove you wrong, you'll regret that." I was about to respond to him when he lifted me up to straddle his hips. Without warning or so, he entered me completely and roughly. I groaned loudly at the sudden intrusion, but the pain subsided after a few seconds and was replaced with lust.

Our pants and moans echoed his room, and was the only sound you could hear. After a few moments, Rick exploded inside me, filling my insides with his warm seed and soon I followed in suite.

We stayed in that position for what seemed like an eternity, but in truth, only minutes had ticked by. With my head against Rick's chest, I stared at his clock that's facing in my direction, and watched as the long hand ticked by leisurely. I only wished time stood still just so Rick and I could stay wrapped up in each other's arms for the remainder of the day, but I know sooner or later I'd have to go to work.

The sun had risen a few hours before, cast a stream of light inside Rick's room, brightening every inch and corner of his room. I gasped in amazement at how his room beautifully glowed a shade of bright orange; his picture frames that were scattered about his room reflected the light and onto the ceiling making it looks as if they were large stars. As I inhaled deeply, I could still smell both our arousal and sweat that overflowed the air and filling my nose. It was his scent that was intoxicating, that drove me wild and turned something dark in me that got me lusting more of Rick.

One word from him and I was done for, my insides would melt like molten lava and my stomach would flutter uncontrollably. Just one touch or even a single brush of his skin always sends electricity up and down my spine, that one touch from him I would instantly loose myself. Everything about Rick fascinated me; his childish sense of humor, his protective side and also his romantic side.

I hummed in satisfaction when his hands rubbed my waist soothingly, almost lazily. "How about you take a magnificent shower while I make us something delicious to eat?" his chest vibrated as he talked, my stomach fluttered wildly hearing his rough voice.

"Sounds great," I smiled warmly and glanced up at him through my eyelashes, and tapped his chest playfully. We both got off his enormous King size bed and instantly winced at the pain that throbbed between my inner thighs. I had yet to get used to Rick's massive size, and after two months with him still felt like it had been my first time.

I walk towards Rick's shirt laying on the floor beside his desk and bent down from my waist to grab it. From behind me I heard Rick suck in a deep breath followed by a soft moan. I glance back to where he was still seated at his bedside with the blanket covering his lower half. Even with the blanket covering half of his body, I could noticeably see his length slowly but surely rise beneath the thin sheets. I stifled a giggle that almost escaped my mouth as I stared at his aroused cock and the newly wet stain around it. It seemed like our morning sex wasn't quite enough for him, let alone what happened last night. My eyes traveled up to his face and nearly laughed aloud seeing his jaw hang down openly as his eyes bulged out. His eyes twitched at the sight of my naked body bent over in front of him in an inviting way. With my bottom raised up and my upper body bent half way down, i could see his eyes imagine a naughty scene with the position I'm in and him flushed against my behind. The corner of my lips turned up into a devilish smirk as a thought raced through my head. Picking up his shirt off the floor, I turned around to face an aroused Rick who in return closed his mouth to lick his dry lips. I slipped in both of my arms inside the sleeves and stretched my arms over my head.

"Kate, stop teasing," he said as if he were in pain. He gripped the sheets around him tightly before throwing it aside to reveal his erected dick. He stood up and walked towards me, wrapping his arms around my waist firmly. He pressed our bodies close, if it were possible enough, and rubbed his rod up and down my inner thighs and moaned at the friction.

"Still up for more?" I breathed in to his mouth, and felt him nod desperately. I grabbed both of his hands that were on my hips and placed them on my shoulders. His eyes sparkled at what I'm about to do, and pushed my shoulders down gently. My knees hit the wooden floor with a soft thud, and my arms immediately grabbed his hips. Staring straight at me is his swollen member leaking with pre-cum at the tip, and his sack turned agonizingly red. Sucking in a deep breath, I blew on his tip and that got me a raspy moan from Rick. I opened my mouth and licked the warm liquid escaping his slit, before taking him into my mouth. I hum a random tune around his shaft and pulled back, swirling my tongue along his head. His fingers snaked my hair, pulling it taut as I slam back down his length and back up again. I bob my head faster and increase the pressure, causing him to whimper and buck his hips. I could feel his body rippling close to his climax with each bob of my head.

"So close, Kate, so close." He all but whispers out, just as he comes, I pull back from his cock completely with pop, and stand up. He stands still as a stone, jaw hanging all the way to the floor as he stares at me in pure bewilderment.

I smirk at him, playfully smack his chest, and said, "Wouldn't want to be late for work, sorry!" and retreated to the bathroom before he could say anything else. Through the door, I heard his frustrated growl and the slam of his bedroom door as I got into the shower. I turned the knobs and scalding hot water splashed my skin, it was at the right temperature and refreshed my sore body.

After my warm shower, I walked back into his room to see my outfit lying perfectly on his bed; he must've taken it out before he left the room. Since Rick and I have been together, we both decided to move a few of my belongings such as my clothing into his apartment. I haven't fully moved in with him, knowing that it's only been two months, and I didn't want to rush our relationship if I were to move in now. Having some of my clothing in Rick's apartment came in handy whenever I stayed the night with him. A few moments later, I navigate my feet towards the kitchen with the heels of my stilettos clicking at the contact of the hardwood floor with each step I took. The second I stepped into the kitchen, I was met by warm hands around my waist as I was pulled close to a toned chest. Warm breath tickled the back of my neck and I shivered in delight, and angled my neck against a broad shoulder. Soft yet rough lips trailed kisses along my exposed neck to my jaw-line; those lips planted a hungry kiss upon my own as a gasp left my throat. My breathing became erratic, my heart began to pound against my chest and our kiss deepened with his tongue tracing my bottom lip.

A fit of cough interrupted both of us from our heated moment and we broke apart to stare at a horrified Alexis. "You aren't the only ones in here you know!" she exclaims, rubbing her eyes harshly as if to erase the scene she just saw. Rick and I chuckle at Alexis who stopped clawing her eyes, and smiled nonetheless seeing us happy, which I smile at her in return.

"Good morning Alexis," I say as I sit next to her. Rick places a cup filled with coffee in front of me, and for a second the smell of coffee made my stomach turn.

"Morning Kate," says Alexis, she didn't look up from reading a thick text book with pictures of the human body. She sighs in frustration, and flips on to another page while nibbling on a piece of French toast. Her amber hair was pulled up into a messy bun that piled high on her head and bobbed slightly whenever she turned her head or when she shook her head at something she mumbled.

I always thought Alexis is beautiful with the way her clear blue eyes shimmered and the way she smiled truly resembles Rick's famous smile. Alexis and Rick are the complete opposite of one another; Alexis having her mother's genes which gave her bright amber hair while Rick on the other hand, has that chocolate brown hair. Even though they are the opposite, their relationship as father and daughter is something I felt jealous of. The bond between them and the bond I had with my father weren't as strong compared to theirs. They were filled with love, happiness and care for one another, and I felt a pang of jealousy just seeing them laugh with contentment. My father became distant ever since that tragic night when I lost my mother, and I had never gotten the chance to spend quality time with him.

The sudden smell of bacon and eggs floating in the air engulfed my nose. I started to feel nauseous as the pit of my stomach dipped.* the aroma of the food became unbearable, I felt the bile slowly make its way up my throat but before it did, I ran to the bathroom and threw up the remaining of my stomach contents. Rick followed me and is instantly by my side holding my loose strands of hair that clung to my sweaty face, whispering and rubbing my back reassuringly. My throat burnt as the acid traveled up and out of my mouth, it felt as if the acid were hot lava pouring and burning the back of my throat. I clung to Rick's thick arms tighter as another wave of nausea hit me full force causing me to vomit roughly. Tears formed in my eyes making my eye sight blurring, I blinked them away and felt the cool tears run down my flushed cheeks.

I sigh and lean into Rick's chest as he lifted me up by the arms and guided me to the sink. I bent over and washed my mouth as well as my tear-stained face with lukewarm water. Rick's hand rubbed my back once again in a soothing rhythm while I steadied my breathing.

"You should stay here, and call in sick for today, Kate," Rick softly says. I could see myself reflect his worried eyes. I shook my head and walk out the bathroom with Rick following close by.

"I'm not going to miss work just because of that, Castle." I say, using his last name to persuade him.

Alexis finally looked up from her studying and furrowed her amber brows, "what happened?"

Rick sighs and ruffles his hair while staring at me, "She threw up,"

"And I feel fine. I'm going to work whether you like it or not," I grabbed my keys that's lying on the kitchen counter and turned to face both of them. "Don't worry about me, I'll see you two after work when you get back from the movies." I started to head for the door when Rick gently grabbed my wrist, turning me around to face him. His lips landed on my own, surprising me yet again.

"Take it easy all right, Kate?"

"I will," I pecked his lips before opening the door and leaving his apartment. Behind my back, I heard Rick sigh, and the click of his door closing.

The precinct had been busy upon my arrival, packed full of weeping family members with the case that just happened just this morning.

The commotion of it all left me with an aching headache. I was about to go to the break room for coffee, but then decided against it. I couldn't afford going

Walking back to my desk, my cell phone ringed indicating me that I had an incoming call. I hesitated on answering, thinking it might be Rick calling to check up every hour if I was any better. But I couldn't ignore Rick like that; he was only worried about me, and even cared about me more than I care about myself. Instead of his name blinking, I was surprised to see Lanie's, but at the same time I was glad. It rang for third time and before it went to my voice message, I answered.

"Hey, Kate!" Lanie said excitedly.

"Hey," I replied with a smile. I tucked my phone between my neck and shoulder to organize today's case and piled it along with the other case I've been assigned to.

"Are you busy? I was thinking if we could go to that new café down the street for lunch?"

"I'm actually on my break just now, that café sounds, Lanie," it's been over a week since we've spent some time together, due to me being busy with my work and her being busy with her own. Plus, she always knew how to cheer me up when I was having a bad day, and today was the perfect timing.

"Okay great! It's on me then, I'll see you in a bit!" she all but yelled excitedly on the phone.

I put my coat on that was behind my chair and walked towards the elevator Just as I got there, Esposito and Ryan exited the interrogation room from questioning another witness. Dark circles rimmed both of their eyes, and judging at what they look today, it seemed like they haven't rested in days.

"Did the witness have any information?" I asked with a small smile.

"Nothing that we already know of," Ryan said tiredly, he crossed his arms across his chest as a frown formed in his brows.

"Yeah, but hopefully we'll have something by the end of the day," Esposito reassured Ryan.

"Don't stress yourselves out, it's been a long morning but we'll find out what exactly happened. I'm headed out for lunch with Lanie, if you have any lead with the suspect or suspects; you know what to do,"

Esposito and Ryan nodded their heads simultaneously, and started heading toward their desk as I pressed the button to the main floor.

When I finally arrived at the cafe, I saw Lanie waiting patiently for me at a table that's beside the window. The dim lights above shadowed half of her face, as she read today's article. I walk towards the table and sit myself in front of her. She seemed too concentrated on the newspaper to notice my presence, but jumped slightly as I call her name.

"How are you doing Kate?" She asks me while folding the paper neatly aside and placed her arms on the table.

"I'm fine."

"Fine?" she scoffs, not believing my words, "that's all? Come on I need details."

"Details?" I raised an eyebrow at that, slowly a smile spread across my lips.

"You and writer monkey!" she teased, playfully smacking my hand.

"For some reason I keep forgetting that you know about us," I teased back, winking at her. It's not easy hiding things from Lanie, especially my relationship with Rick. She knew off the bat that we've been secretly dating, and seemed rather excited for both of us. Two days after we decided to be together, she found out immediately by the look of our faces. Looking back now, it was obvious how I stare at Rick and him at me; it was in our eyes that gave it away. Thankfully, Lanie is the only one who knows, and I might add, a better detective than Esposito and Ryan. Combined that is. Rick only hinted the two that he has a girlfriend but wouldn't give away hername, only until he's ready to tell. Well, when we're both ready.

"Everything's going perfectly but something happened this morning," I told her with a frown.

"And what happened this morning?" she asks, leaning closer to the table.

"I threw up all of the sudden, and we had a little argument over it. He wanted me to stay at his place for today but you know me, I'm a workaholic and I can't just miss work because of it." I explained and sighed at the end.

"Hmm," she hummed thoughtfully, "What could be the reason why you threw up 'all of the sudden?'" she rephrased my words but right before I was about to reply, the waiter came over to the table and asked us what we wanted. Lanie ordered first, ordering a cup of coffee, a wrap and a mini salad, while I ordered a glass of water and a blueberry muffin.

"That's all your getting, are you sure you don't want anything Kate?" she said flabbergasted at my choice. She raised an eyebrow at me before sending the waiter away.

"It's the smell of food, it sickens me," I told her. She went from shocked, concerned and than excitement in two seconds flat. I refrained from chuckling at her reaction, and jumped slightly when she yelled, "What?" I leaned in close to her and whispered, "keep it down, everyone's looking at us now," and true to my words, most stared at us with eyebrows raised.

"Well, Kate, may I ask you this? When was the last time you've gotten your period?"

Right when she asked that question, everything around me slowed down, the chatter of the people around were muffled by my increasing heart beat. The blood from my body went straight to my head, blackening and blurring my vision. The world seemed to go in a dizzy circle; I stared at Lanie in front of me, and she too was spinning. A snapping sound broke my dizziness, but the headache is still there. I try and focus on her face but the headache got worse with each second.

"I need a glass of water in here, please!" I hear her voice call out, it was faint but I managed to hear it. I closed my eyes and rested my head on the palm of my hand, and warm hand gently touched my shoulder. "Kate, drink it." A cold glass is pressed against my lips, and I opened my mouth and drank the cool water greedily. Instantly, the aching in my head faded. I look up to see a worried Lanie and force a smile.

"Are you alright?"

I nodded once and said, "I-I can't remember when I last had mine," I choked out, answering her question earlier on. I gulped hard and continued, "It'd been awhile, a month and three weeks to be exact," I shook my head against my palm, I couldn't be. No, I couldn't be!

"You need to try, Kate." She said with a reassuring smile.

"Lanie, I'm not ready for this, I can't be!" I demanded, while shaking my head again.

"Were you prepared?"

"Of course!" As soon as I said that, I realized I wasn't prepared. Reality sank in and I groan aloud, "oh, no." I look at her with a worried face.

"Kate, don't panic. It'll be ok, but just take one just to make sure, okay?" She rubs my both my arms trying to calm me but I'm far from being calm. She always knew how to calm down. But in this situation I couldn't stop thinking and worrying about it. After we ate our lunch, we parted ways and said goodbye. As the day was nearing to the end, I couldn't help but feel anxious. Questions rushed in my head, some I could answer and some I got too terrified to answer at all. Am I ready for this? Are we?

On my way to Rick's home, I stopped at a local pharmacy and picked up what I needed. When I got to the cashier, I shook with nervousness. I began too have second thoughts, and even thought of running out of here, I couldn't take the tension that had been building on my mind. I look up at the lady working the till; a smile broke out of her thin lips as she says, "First time?"

"Pardon?" I replied not really realizing what she was talking about. Her gaze traveled at the box, indicating what she's talking about.

"Yes, first time. A little nervous, really" I confessed.

"I remember being in your shoes, although it has been many years. I'm a mother of four" She implied, smiling at me. I gave her a smile, and then took the bag from the woman's hand.

"Have a lovely evening" she said as walk away.

"You too," I replied and walk out of the store, hoping I would never have to go back there again.

I finally arrived at his place, relieved that the apartment is empty and Rick-free. I wouldn't be able to think if he was here, or be able to do what I'm supposed to do.

I could feel a cool draft filling the air; I turned the heat on and sat down on the couch with the stick in my hand. Since Rick and Alexis were still at the movies, I decided this would be the perfect time to take it even though I really didn't want to. I went to the bathroom and did what I was supposed to do, I was grateful for the instructions that were inside the box. I had to wait ten minutes before it would tell me the results. Although it was only ten excruciating minutes, it felt like a life time. I kept pacing about his living. My forehead, back and hands were slicked with perspiration by the time ten minutes is up. This one moment would change my life forever, as well as Rick's. My heart pounded painfully against my breast bone. As I lifted the stick, my heart stopped…