Hello my loves
Thank you all for all your fantastic support. I have written a long chapter for you on the continuation tale of female Yuuri. Hope you enjoy it.
Please pardon the grammar flaws. I try to get them all but the little devils escape me at times.
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By the time Monday came around Yuuri was relieved to find she managed to get the hickey off her neck. Only thing was that she realized she may have another problem. Stepping out of the bathroom she frowned looking around her small room. Moving to the living room she looked around again then let out a low curse.
"What's up?" said Phitchit groggily.
She looked down at Phitchit who had been asleep on the sofa. She told him several times she didn't need a babysitter but he refused to leave her alone.
"I left my bag with my equipment in Viktor's car" she huffed then let out a frustrated groan "I'm going to need to go out and buy new stuff"
Phitchit yawned and sat up "I'll go with you. I hate that you live in Brooklyn by yourself. Why can't you come and live with Leo and me?"
Yuuri pinned him with a stare "I can give you three good reasons. One, you hover. Two, Leo has been trying to get in my knickers for a long time and three I am not going to become your live in maid so here I stay"
Phitchit laughed "Leo is gay Yuuri"
"Correction he is bisexual"
Phitchit came up short opened his mouth then closed it then opened it and to ask "He's hit on you? When?"
She rolled her eyes and walked back to her room but not before he said "I don't hover!"
Yes he did. He has always hovered.
Ever since they were kids he has been her knight. Yuuri suffered from anxiety and panic attacks. She was small for her age and so she was an easy target when they had been in school. He took it upon himself to look after her since her older sister wasn't in the same schools. He became her rock. Her solid pillar of support and he still was….if he didn't hover and fuss over her so much.
She came out wearing jeans and a loose flowing tank, her long ebony hair in a high pony tail. Making her way into the kitchen she desperately needed some coffee and breakfast. Phitchit was already there with a pot of oatmeal.
Yuuri made a face.
"If you think I'm eating cardboard you have another thing coming to you" she said going to the top of her fridge to get her special K cereal only to have the box snatched from her "Hey!"
He glowered at her "And this crap has no nutrition Yuuri. I mean it" he tossed the box in the trash "You get sick often. Go eat the damn oatmeal"
She briefly wondered if she could claim temporary insanity if she tossed him over her balcony. So tempting. In the end she sat at the table and looked down at the bowl of gruel. She grimaced at it then looked up to give her quasi brother a death stare "And you say you don't hover" she muttered but got up and went into one of her cabinets and grabs a small bag of brown sugar and some dried cranberries.
"What are you doing?"
Yuuri looks up at Phitchit stirring a spoonful of brown sugar "Only way I can stomach the stuff"
Phitchit rolled his eyes at her "As long as you eat it I guess"
Yuuri flipped him off and goes to eat the disgusting bowl of brown tasteless mushy goop. Phitchit was a worrier. He worried if she sneezed. He worried if she said 'ouch'. He worried if she sat quietly on the sofa. He worried constantly about her and it set her teeth on edge at times.
She had only been half serious about Leo. Yes he would sleep with her if he could but he wouldn't make her uncomfortable. No she didn't want to move in with Phitchit because she knew that she would end up bashing him in the head with a frying pan within the week of living together.
Hell a few hours of his constant fussing and she wanted to do it. Imagine the disaster if they were roomies. New York didn't need that hazard zone.
She didn't like that he had so little faith in her abilities to take care of herself but she knew it boiled down to her shy nature. But hey she could kick some ass if the occasion called for it. Unfortunately, Phitchit would always see her as his little sister that he needed to protect.
Once she ate the gruel they grabbed their stuff and headed out. As she was locking her front door the door in front of hers opened.
"Buenos días mijita*. Hola Pepe"
Yuuri smiled and tried hard not to laugh. Her neighbor always called Phitchit 'Pepe' since she couldn't pronounce it.
Phitchit sighed but smiled kindly "Hola Mrs. Diaz"
At 54 Mrs. Diaz was a short Hispanic lady with salt and pepper hair that she always wore up in a bun, kind warm dark brown eyes and a constant smile. She adored Yuuri and the older lady made her dinner every once in a while. Ever since she moved into the building and Mrs. Diaz discovered she lived alone she took it upon herself to make sure Yuuri was never alone. For one thing it did make her feel better that the older lady listened out for any trouble.
Yuuri bounded to her and leaned in to kiss her cheek "Hola Mrs. Diaz I am fine. Going to practice. How are you?"
"I'm fine mijita just my arthritis. I was wondering if you get a moment later can you get me a pan from the bakery near your studio. I have such a craving" she said closing her eyes as if savoring her sweet bread already.
Yuuri laughed "Of course. I'll see you for cafe tonight"
They left waving bye and stepped on to the busy city streets.
"Well at least it makes me feel better knowing you have neighbors who look out for you" commented Phitchit as they made their way to the subway station.
Yuuri nodded "She's a sweet lady. Although she's always trying to hook me up with some odd member of her very large family. So far I have met 5 cousins or something or other"
Phitchit snorted "Yeah that sounds like her. So what are possibilities that she will have some guy having coffee with her later tonight?"
Yuuri scrunched up her face "On a scale of 1 being not possible to 10 being possible? A solid 11"
When they finally were on the train she turned to Phitchit "Think you can get my bag from Viktor today?"
Before they had left her small apartment she had groaned in frustration when she remembered that her black bag in back of Viktor's convertible also had her wallet. Which meant she had to bring with her the emergency credit card her dad had taken out for her. She's never used it but he made her take it for if she ran into such an emergency.
The phone call she placed to her dad that morning was a bit uncomfortable. It was late in Japan but her dad answered all the same. She hated lying to them as to why she lost her wallet promising him that no she wasn't mugged and yes she was safe. He told her she had a $5,000 limit on it and to use it and not worry about it.
Has she mentioned how much she loved her parents? Her mother, bless her, was totally adorable. Short like her but rounded with wide glasses and a smile that could make even a cloudy day bright. She missed her momma's hugs and cooking. Then there was her dad. She smiled softly. Utterly devoted to his family and very patient with both his daughters. He dotted on them and encouraged their dreams. Which was why she hated to lie to them.
"Don't worry" said Phitchit pulling her out of her thoughts. He was trying to sound casual but she could see his jaw clench "I need to talk to him anyways"
Yuuri groaned "Please don't make a big deal. It happened. It was as much my fault as it was his. I just want my bag"
She could tell he wanted to argue but then sighed "Fine" he bit out then muttered "I wanted to break his legs"
Yuuri laughed at his sulking face.
After going to the studio where she bought her shoes from she added a new black bag, leggings, tutu and some bodysuits. She had been meaning to buy some new ones anyways so she figured this was the perfect opportunity. With new equipment in hand she raced off to the Broadway Performance Arts Academy where she practiced.
Phitchit promised to call her after he got her bag so she turned on her ipod and plugged the headphones attempting to block out the world as she walked to her studio.
Every time her mind wanted to wander to Viktor she quickly squashed them away. She blew out deep breathes. He was just a man. He has probably forgotten all about her. That thought would have been fine and all if it didn't make her heart constrict painfully.
As she walked she caught a glimpse of her reflection and turned away focusing on the crowd better. It wasn't that she thought she was ugly. It was that she thought she was ordinary.
She looked younger than her 23 years thanks to her prominent Asian features. Without makeup she had a baby face. Her eyes were a brown color, very ordinary. Her hair was black. Again very ordinary. Nothing about her really screamed beautiful to make a man as worldly and handsome as Viktor Nikiforov look twice.
He was like a walking Adonis. Tall with lean strong muscles that sculpted a dancer's body. Shiny silver hair that looked like molten mercury in the sun and his eyes. His eyes were perfect replicas of turquoise gems. He had proud royal features that stood out in a crowd. What would he see in someone as shy, meek and ordinary as her?
She sighed and shook her head and forced herself to stop. The direction her thoughts were going did her no good and only depressed her.
Once at the studio she changed into the black leggings throwing on a black halter top body shaper top then slipped into a short white tutu. Putting her clothes away she took her new shoes and sat in the locker room to shape them to just her liking. She flexed her foot in the shoes a few times then put in her toe gel inserts. After making sure her laces were secure she went up her feet then walked on pointe for a bit and deemed them just right.
Checking the walk clock she walked out of the locker room and headed to the room were Madam Baranovskaya taught her students.
5555
Viktor rose with a grin on his handsome face a determination in his veins.
He was going to forgo practice to today and find his swan. He needed to see Yuuri again. Had been surprised by how strong that desire was but he didn't fight it. He has been bored for so long that the thrill he felt now left him almost giddy.
Hoping in the shower he couldn't help but wish she was there with him. He could already picture her sweet face bright red. Her soft skin flushed from the hot water while his hands took extra care to clean her…..
'Damnit' he thought then turned the water to all the way to the cold setting.
Going his bedroom he took out some dark rinse jeans and paired it with a solid black cotton dress shirt. Rolling the sleeves to his elbows and undoing the top button he shook the damp silver strands of hair. He only took a moment to dry his hair and but some pomade so that it wouldn't stand in every direction. He paused in the living room to locate the black bag he brought up along with the flowers which were now in a vase on the coffee table.
Hmmmm….he would need to give her another bouquet.
Bag slung over one shoulder he took his car keys and wallet before proceeding out the door. It was late afternoon so he was sure Yuuri would be at the studio by the time he made it over there. He could haul a taxi from his loft in the Tribeca district to the Broadway dance academy but he wanted the freedom of his car for this visit.
He could feel a faint hum in his skin the closer he drove to where the woman who had ensnared him was. The thing of it was that it wasn't just one specific thing that drew his eye to her. Yuuri was the whole package. He never thought himself as having a type but remembering her quiet reserved presence, her blushes and her soft smile he didn't understand how he didn't notice it before.
While it took a while to get under the wall she held up to the world there was something so alluring about finally being on the other side of it. It was like he was the only man who got to see the part of her that the world never would and it set him on fire. Only he would know how her eyes sparkled in passion, only he knew her unique flavor that a man would only know by being her lover and he did not share. Yuuri has been untouched by any other man and he wanted to keep it that way.
She would be his personal muse. His swan. His little dancer.
Reaching the studio he parked and paused. He didn't want to just drop off the bag. What he truly wanted was another date with her. To be in her presence and most importantly he wanted her with him at the ice rink. He needed her there to give him the inspiration he got only when she was around.
He knew that Lilia was not a huge fan of his. He was always a defiant student and her strict manner of teaching was not his style. That was many years ago but she still thought he was a lazy and undisciplined person who got where he was out of sheer dumb luck. So knowing her the way he did he knew it was going to take lots and lots of suave smooching to get her to agree to share Yuuri with him. He would have liked to go have gone around Lilia but he would never do anything to jeopardize Yuuri's reputation since it seemed his wasn't the greatest.
Playboy…
He never considered himself a playboy just indecisive. Every woman he met were all the same with the same agenda and that to him was a huge turn off. He wanted a woman who shared things with him and only him. He wasn't going to lie to himself. He was a greedy bastard. Cold and possessive at times. If he had a woman then she was his goddamnit and he did not share. That meant she stayed with him. Lived with him and allowed herself to be taken care of by him. He could see now how other woman never would have satisfied him. They had been too aggressive.
Not Yuuri. She was kind and sweet. Their one date told him much about her and that part of him that craved to keep his woman close yearned to take her and see her in his apartment were the world could not reach her only him. To see her floating around his home, her soft presence a daily drug to his senses. To know that he could pull her into his arms and keep her there because he had the right to.
The ice has always been his mistress but Yuuri was soon replacing that.
Reaching the studio he walked in peering into the rooms following the sound of music playing.
"Very good. Again from the top"
Viktor smirked recognizing Lilia's no nonsense tone of voice as it carried down the long hallway. With a small bouquet of calla lilies which he knew were Lilia's favorite he set off towards the formidable teacher.
When he reached the large room he sucked in a breath and felt his body tense with anticipation and remembrance. A flash of a memory almost made him groan out loud. He remembered pulling her on to his lap. He remembered the feel of long silky hair caressing his arms. He remembered kneeling on his bed, his swan's legs wrapped around his waist while he pulled her up and slid into her. Yuuri's tight hot channel milking him as he thrust in deep and hard her soft voice a melody of moans.
He let out a breath. Blood hell he needed her in his bed again.
The flash was over as fast as it came. He stood by the door watching Yuuri on pointe turning one leg bent out with Lilia standing to the side observing her progress. He sighed softly watching Yuuri dance. The graceful fall of her arms, the innocence of her expression and the way her body moved as one to the classical song was so beautiful. He wondered why she was not the Prima Ballerina…...it was clear that she held all the skills for it. He smiled wistfully when she all but glided across the floor doing pirouettes on point….until she spotted him.
She had been so startled she stepped wrong cried out and fell onto the wooden floor. Before anyone could have reacted Viktor was already there lifting her up gently in his arms and walked to the chair across the room.
Yuuri felt her heart hammering and a deep yearning settle within her. She had an overwhelming urge to wrap her arm around his neck and just hold him. She may not remember their night together but apparently her body did because it was all but buzzing by his close proximity.
'God his arms feel so good' she thought dreamily her eyes locked into his aqua colored ones. The scent of his cologne reached her making her a little lightheaded. Everything about the man holding her made her insides turn into mush.
He didn't want to set her down. She was looking at him with those same mahogany bright eyes that made him weak. Her face was free of any of the artifice most women were keen on putting on themselves and she was all the lovelier for it. And good lord those lips…..
He had to fight the very strong urge to not kiss her and devour her. Instead he chose to smile at her.
"Hello again"
Yuuri swallowed her face going a dark shade of red "H….hi" she stuttered out in a low voice. She blinked when she felt herself being settled onto a black chair. She had been carried across the room and she didn't even pay attention to it. She had been so engrossed in the feel of being in his strong arms that the world had melted away.
As soon as he pulled away she sighed internally already missing the heat that came off his body. 'Oh I am so not right in the head' she moaned at herself.
"Are you alright?" he knelt down at her taking her foot in his large hands and moved it a bit.
That pulled her out of her daydreaming and winced at the movement "It's sore" she said hissing when his fingers messaged her ankle "It's not broken thank goodness. I just over rotated"
"What are you doing startling my student Viktor?" demanded Lilia frown down at him "She is the understudy to the academy's prima ballerina. I need Yuuri in top shape"
"I am sorry madam" said Yuuri softly "I should have not lost my focus" she twirled her fingers nervously "I will put ice and heat on it and should be right by tomorrow"
Lilia was already shaking her head "No no that's no good. You will take this week off and go easy on your feet. We cannot risk causing a greater injury. You have great potential Yuuri I will not waste it"
Viktor then stood up "This works out perfect then" he said smiling to Lilia handing her the bouquet of flowers.
Yuuri frowned wondering what was so perfect about this when they both started talking very rapidly in Russian. She only caught a few words she knew….her name….ice….help….and please. Her Russian was very limited but she had been practicing for her teacher. Lilia tended to go off in Russian when she was high strung and she figured it would be good to know what the woman was saying.
Ice? Help? She blinked when Lilia looked down at her wondering what was causing her to look at her like she was worried. That she knew of nothing got under Madam's Baranovskaya's skin. Yuuri gulped then watched as she suddenly turned and pointed a finger a Viktor eyes narrowing while she said something that even to her sounded like a threat.
Viktor only nodded and smiled. Lilia huffed then looked at Yuuri again "You contact me if he gets out of order" she said then turned around and called for the class to start continue their practice.
"Huh?" said Yuuri totally confused. What was that all about? But she didn't have much time to ask since she was once again hoisted up into Viktor's arms. She yelped almost losing her balance and had no choice but place one arm over his shoulder for support while he strode out of the room with her in tow "Hey!" she said squirming to be let down but only clamped down on her tighter.
"Stop Yuuri I'll drop you" he said then looked to either side of the hallway "Where is your locker?"
"Why?" she said "And I want you to put me down"
"No" he said offhandedly not even looking at her but looking down the long hallway "Where is it?"
Yuuri gritted her teeth "let me down and I can walk there". His close proximity was making her stomach do flips. He suddenly looked down at her eyes burning darker. He gave her a stare that made everything in her freeze. Her heart slammed in her ribcage and silently she pointed in the directions of the locker rooms.
He gave her a nod and started walking where she pointed. Good lord what had that been? The way he had looked at her still had her heart hammering. It was a look that screamed out that he was not a man to be denied and it scared the living shit out of her because it worked.
"The way I see it" he said walking slowly "You need to stay off your feet to prevent an injury and I need your presence when I practice. Lilia has given you a week off so you will be staying with me"
Yuuri looked at him mouth open in shock "Wait….what? Hold on Viktor" she said trying to squirm again but that was doing her no good "All of what you said made absolutely no sense to me. Why am I going with you?"
Viktor pushed the door open with his foot labeled Woman's Locker walked in
"Hey! You can't be in here!" she hissed at him but he was not listening. He just walked in like he owned the place and plopped her down on the bench then knelt by her "Do you have a hearing impairment?" she said folding her arms "Or is everything I say irrelevant to the great Ice King?"
Viktor sighed "Of course not Yuuri don't be obtuse. There is a great deal we need to discuss my little swan" he said taking her injured foot and messaging it
Yuuri sighed rubbing her eyes feeling a headache coming on and the sensation of that rabbit hole reappeared "And it couldn't wait?"
"No" he took her hands so that she could look at him.
Yuuri sighed and gave up "Ok" her voice soft and tired "What is so important that you couldn't wait for me outside the ladies locker rooms?"
He looked down at her hand "Many things but for now the first thing I want to know is if you are on any form of birth control?"
Yuuri's forehead furrowed in confusion "Birth control?" What an odd thing to ask and why did he…..oh...ohhhhhh no.
Yuuri felt all the blood drain from her face "Oh god…..oh god oh god oh god" she whispered feeling the room spin and all the air knocked out of her. Air…..there wasn't enough air. She vaguely felt his hands on her face but she was past noticing. Her panic took hold of her and gripped her like a vice. Why didn't she think of that sooner? Of course sex equaled babies if one was stupid enough to not be careful! Oh lord what if she was? What was going to happen to her? There a strange roaring in her ears that refused to allow Viktor's voice reach her.
"Yuuri breathe!" Viktor tried to get her focus on him but she looked so utterly terrified that he feared she was going to pass out "Baby look me…" he tried to coax her but he cursed when her eyes fluttered and she fell on him in a head faint.
"Fuck" he muttered then sighed pulling her on to his lap and just held on to her "So I'm taking that as a no" he said to himself. Deciding he could come back for her stuff later he lifted her up and walked out of the lockers.
Once in the car he buckled her in and started to make is way back to his loft. All the while he thought of what this could mean. If Yuuri did end up pregnant was he ready for fatherhood? He was at the height of his career with the Olympics to look forward to. Not to mention the numerous sponsorships that allowed him to lead a very comfortable lifestyle. He would be able to give his child the best of everything and perhaps…raise his own prodigy in skating. Now there was a thrilling thought. He glanced at her and there was not denying the strong pull he felt towards her. Yuuri would want for nothing. Everything about her had him enthralled even her defiance. Her eyes would darken when angry making her look so damn sexy and adorable all at once.
How could she do that? How can anyone be so complex and stunning? She was sweet and shy at first glance winning his heart with those huge eyes and innocence that seem to radiate from her. The she was all but hissing at him, eyes going black with her ire cheeks flushed and looking so damn fuckable he had trouble stringing words together. Finally she turned vulnerable and so very breakable it tugged on his instincts to protect the small woman and keep her safe in his arms.
Yuuri was in a word: perfect.
Reaching his loft he parked the car down in the garage then gently lifted his precious cargo into his arms and made his way to the elevator. Once on the main level the bellman gave him a raised eyebrow when he saw the passed out woman in his arms. He suppose he did get a few looks. Yuuri was still in her tutu and her pink ballerina shoes after all.
Viktor sighed and went to wait for the elevators.
"Mr. Nikiforov?"
Viktor looked to his left to see the front desk security give Yuuri a concerned look then looked at him.
"Do I need to call the paramedics?" he said uncertainly.
Viktor shook his head "Thanks Randall but no. Yuuri just fainted. Injury during practice" he said then turned to look at the man "You'll be seeing a lot of her. If she requires it give her access to my loft"
The man looked at Yuuri then at him "Please tell me she's old enough"
Viktor glared at the man "She is my girlfriend of course she is old enough" the elevator dinged and he walked in ignoring the look of shock from not only Randall but the few people who were near him. Oh well…..word would eventually get out at some point.
Perhaps he should have asked Yuuri to be his girlfriend first but to him that was only a trivial matter. Once she felt better he would get her situated and ask her. If she was pregnant then she would have to move in anyways he was not going to have the mother to his child living by herself in Brooklyn of all places. He shuddered to think of it. What was Yuuri doing living in a rough neighborhood like that anyways? She deserved to live like a queen and that was where he came in. Yes he went through her bag and was glad to find her wallet along with her ID that gave him her address. He had shuddered when he saw the Brooklyn address.
As he moved Yuuri so that he could hold her with one arm he was grateful for her slight frame and weight while he fished for his keys then grew worried. Opening the door he frowned looking down at her. Should she be so light?
Moving up stairs to his bedroom he laid her down and was struck by how much he enjoyed seeing her in his bed. It looked like she belonged there and he felt his resolve harden. He sat on the edge of the bed and watched her for a bit before she sighed and turned on her back.
Those long sooty lashes fluttered opened for a moment looking confused.
"You are in my apartment" he said quietly observing her reaction.
Yuuri looked over at him then looked around his room before she sighed and closed her eyes again "I have decided I don't like this dream. I'm going to go back to sleep and hopefully wake up to a different one" she said her voice tired but with a bit of that sass he was growing fond of.
"You fainted at the academy so I brought you here to rest" he said taking her hand and brought it up to his lips "Is that not the chivalrous thing to do in that kind of situation?"
Yuuri opened her eyes to look at him. She was not prepared for this and he frightened her. Well no that wasn't right…her reactions to him frightened her. She could feel the touch of his lips on the back of her hand and it was making her body shiver with just that small bit of contact. She steadied herself and threw up her wall hoping that it would last long enough to get herself out of his apartment.
She gently removed her hand from his and sat up but he was already trying to prevent her.
"I'm fine Viktor" she said pleadingly "The shock was just too much but we do need to address this"
Viktor wanted to argue but he could see the stubborn set in her delicate jawline "Very well" he said taking his other pillow and brought it to the one she had been laying on and propped it.
Yuuri frowned "What is wrong with talking in the living room?" she did not want to spend any more time on his bed than what was necessary.
"You twisted your ankle and fainted Yuuri. Humor me please" he said waiting for her to get situated.
'Why me?' she thought to herself and wondered how far she would get if she made a run for it. She looked over at the doorway but Viktor's close proximity to her told her that the odds were so not in her favor.
Viktor seemed to know where her thoughts went because he let out a deep chuckle that made her almost squirm in desire. Holy hell that sound should outlawed.
"You would not get very far and you could really injury that ankle" he said then pouted slightly at her "Does my presence bother you that much?"
Yuuri felt her whole body deflate "Hells bells Viktor" she said in a low tone "No it's not that. I told you I'm not good around people" she looked back at the comfortable pillows and scooted back and rested against them looking at him "Happy?"
He took her hand again and kissed it softly "Yes. Now….about our lack of control two night ago" he said then went on "I'm sure you can guess by my earlier question but just so it's out in the open no we did not use protection"
Yuuri groaned to herself "I never needed birth control"
"What would you have done if you met someone?" he asked but felt the jealous monster within him. No one was going to have her.
Yuuri shrugged "See a medical provider? Being in a relationship has never been a priority for me. I was waiting to meet the right one and fall in love before having sex"
He almost felt bad…..almost. Why couldn't he be her 'right one'? Shaking himself out of his thoughts he nodded "I am not sure how high the possibility is for a pregnancy" he smirked at her "It was a very active night"
Yuuri snorted "Glad you remembered it" she said crossing her arms almost sulking.
Viktor blinked "Wait…you don't remember?"
Yuuri shook her head "There is a reason why I try not to drink so much. Everything turns into a blur. I was so wasted my memory goes from eating at the restaurant to waking up here. Everything else is a blank"
That did not settle well with him. They had been magnificent together. The memory still had the ability to make him painfully hard. He clenched his jaw "I see" he bit out trying to keep his temper at bay. He wasn't angry at her but at the fact that she had been so drunk that she blacked out and he did not notice it. How could he not have known? It was no better than if he drugged her. The thought sickened him.
She must have read something in his expression because she timidly brought her hands to his face so that he could look at her.
"Even if I don't remember, it was consensual Viktor….I know that much" she said blushing a deep red that made his heart melt.
Placing a hand over hers on his face he moved closer to her until she was so close he could scent her floral perfume. He moved his hand to the back of her neck gently and leaned in close to rest his forehead to hers.
"Thank you for saying that" he said closing his eyes and just savored her presence.
Yuuri on the other hand was close to having another panic attack. 'Too close….too close…much too close' she chanted in her head while discreetly trying to lean away from the Russian.
Viktor must have noticed her discomfort since he pulled away from her giving her an amused smirk "I'm sorry"
Yuuri shook her head "No…It's ok. Not a touchy feely person remember" she then sighed "So….ok back to the matter at hand. I will go down to the pharmacy and get a morning after pill…it's not too late and I…."
"No" he cut her off firmly.
Yuuri frowned at him "No? No what?" she then rolled her eyes "Fine you can go down to the pharmacy and I'll stay put"
Viktor shook his head "No meaning I don't want you to take one"
Yuuri stared at him blinking her mind reeling. He didn't want her to take a morning after pill? Those words not only did not make sense to her but it took her a while for her mind to register what that meant. Was he serious? She had her career ahead of her and he had his. They didn't know each other….
"Viktor…." She said slowly "We both have demanding careers. We don't have a relationship…this is the best option"
He shook his head "I'm sorry but it just goes against my beliefs for you to do that" he said then tapped an index finger to his mouth "When is your next cycle?"
Yuuri blushed a bright red "I…..I..am NOT telling you that"
Viktor pinned her with a look "Yuuri I am being serious. How likely is it that you are?"
Yuuri pulled her legs up to her chest and dropped her forehead to her knees and counted. She was very regular and never missed a cycle. When was her last period? What day was it?
"I need a calendar" she muttered still not looking up at him. She felt him get up and walk down the spiral stairs. She used the time to get her barring together. She felt very very sick all of the sudden and the fear was making her shake. How could he not want her to take a morning after pill?
She felt the bed dip and she looked up and took the calendar. She looked at the dates and went back two months. That sick feeling turned into full blown nausea.
"Oh god…" she whispered looking at the day of her debut.
She had been ovulating.
"Well?"
Yuuri just stared at the paper for a bit before looking up at him "The chances are very high" she said almost numbly. She let out a shaky breath "I was on one of my fertile days that night"
Viktor didn't say anything just nodded. He leaned over and kissed her cheek "No pill Yuuri. We are adults and we will face what is to come if it does" he said taking the calendar back and stood up and left the room giving Yuuri some much needed space.
Walking down the stairs he stopped by the kitchen counter top feeling like was floating on air. Then looked around and frowned. He would need to get a new place. The city wasn't a good place to raise family. He wondered what Yuuri thought of moving to Russia.
A knock on the front door pulled him out of thoughts of doing research on the Russian house market.
He opened it to find Chris holding his precious Makkachin.
"There you are" he said smiling taking the now groomed bundle of brown fur laughing when he licked his face.
"He put up quite a fight getting into the kennel" said Chris walking in setting the black dog carrier by the door and going to the fridge taking out a mineral water.
Viktor laughed "He's always been like that. Thank you for taking him to the groomers" he put him down and smiled at him "Go guard Yuuri for daddy okay Makka?"
Makka licked him and turned to head towards the spiral stairs.
He chuckled softly when he heard Yuuri's laughter reached his ears.
"Oh?" said Chris walking up to Viktor with a smirk "Is that the melodious sound of a woman in the bedroom? Viktor you bad boy I thought you skipped practice to do something important not someone"
Viktor snorted "Don't say it like that. Yuuri is not like those other women"
"What makes this one so special?" said Chris leaning on the marble counter examining the body language of his longtime friend. Viktor wasn't known for being the romantic kind. From what he knew of him he didn't bring women home unless he was fucking them. All his relationships were short flings before he got tired or bored.
Chris watched his friend smile in a dazed goofy sort of way "She's my inspiration" he said but the way his eyes glassed over told him enough to know that Viktor has already fallen hard for this Yuuri person.
"Can I meet this mystery lady?" he asked curious to get a feel on her. If she turned out to be some gold-digger they were going to have some serious words. Viktor and he have been through not only competitions together but they have been best friends since their junior days. He felt it was his responsibility to weed out the hookers from Viktor's life.
Viktor nodded "Give me a sec" and walked to the staircase.
Chris stood back and walked to the living room. Viktor never had personal photos around his loft. Pictures of Makkachin and professional landscape photos but that was it. His medals and awards stood in a cupboard to the corner. Chris looked at them all and shook his head.
Viktor just wasn't human. So many gold medals….
He was reading the engraving to one when he heard what sounded like a hissing woman.
"I can walk Viktor! Oh for the love of…." The voice sounded exasperated and angry.
Chris turned and tilted his head when he saw Viktor grinning widely a sulking small woman in his arms. She was so not what he had been expecting. Viktor's old conquests were experienced woman. Woman who flaunted their physiques. Worldly women who were just as jaded as the Russian skater. This Yuuri was a complete opposite.
She had a very delicate face and bone structure that he was already putting imaginary makeup on and large warm red brown eyes that still regarded the world with wonder, bless her little heart. She was slight and small and if he wasn't mistaken wearing a tutu and ballerina shoes?
She was a ballerina? Good lord almighty Viktor really did fall for the polar opposite.
The woman looked at him and blushed an alarming shade of red then turned to Viktor and narrowed her eyes "Nikiforov I swear by all that is good and green I will hurt you if you don't put me down right now" she hissed her eyes flashing with anger.
Chris put his hand on his mouth to keep from laughing "Oh you are totally adorable" he said walking up to her "Christophe Giacometti I'm the brute's best friend"
Yuuri turned still beet red and gave him a small laugh which wouldn't you know it warmed him instantly to her.
"Yuuri Katsuki…kidnapped damsel in distress by said brute" she replied making Chris beam at her.
"Oh I like you" he said grinning at her "She's got spunk" he said looking at his friend now.
Viktor made a face "Yes that she does and doesn't like being told what to do even if it's for her own well-being"
Yuuri looked at him "My ankle isn't broken Viktor. I can be careful" but Viktor's jaw clenched in annoyance.
"And have you risk falling?" he said the shook his head "Sorry Yuuri but I am not taking a risk with your ankle and having your dancing affected"
Chris sighed "Oh oh…looks like you triggered 'overbearing' Viktor" he wondered what had his friend acting like a caveman. It was very very rare when he got into that mindset but when he did he would not let go. Viktor was acting very protective and that always meant that he tended to be overly smothering.
Yuuri looked at Chris rolling her eyes "Apparently I did….does he have an off switch somewhere?"
Chris grinned at her causing the Russian to hold her closer to his body. She turned and glared at him. Viktor glared right back at her. In the end she sighed and laid her head on his shoulder in defeat.
Looking very smug and walked over to the sofa and placed the woman on it then took a pillow and placed it under her left foot and another one on her back. He leaned down and kissed her forehead before pulling back. Yuuri sighed looking down at the brown fluff ball whining to be picked up and pulled Makkachin up placing him on her lap to pet the young dog.
"Will you be ok watching over Yuuri for me?" Viktor turned to Chris "I need to get her stuff from the academy"
Yuuri groaned throwing her head back before looking up at him again "I don't need a babysitter Viktor"
Viktor looked at her "You will get up and start walking around if I allow you. Chris will stay and make sure you behave yourself"
Yuuri looked up at him raising one eyebrow "I'm sorry….'if you allow me?' Last I looked you weren't my husband to allow me to do anything Nikiforov"
Viktor didn't say anything at first just walked over and leaned to her placing a hand to her stomach making her tummy to summersaults. His hand on her abdomen felt very possessive like he was claiming ownership of her.
"That is still yet to be seen" he said in a low tone kissed her nose then stood up. He up looked at Chris his eyes flashing irritably "Watch her" then walked out surprising both occupants.
Yuuri couldn't help the fat tears that fell from her eyes as her heart hammered in her chest. Shit…she was way in over her head. Viktor was like a deadly force sucking you into his world. He only seemed whimsical and he really was at times but under that lay another side that she was beginning to see was wanting to consume her.
Chris shook his head a this friend then went to sit by the small woman "It'll be ok honey…..he's just a bit overwhelming at times but I swear I've never seen him like this"
Yuuri shook her head "It's all my fault" she sniffed feeling like her life was spiraling out of control "If only I wouldn't have drank so much he wouldn't feel like he has such a claim on me"
Chris didn't know what was happening to Viktor but he was telling the truth, he had never seen his friend act that way. Viktor has never been so serious about anyone before…not to the degree he was with Yuuri at least.
"Whatever has his boxers in a nitch I'm sure we can figure it out" he said placing a hand on hers then gave her a sly smile "Or plan B would be for me to take him out back and beat the holy shit out of him"
Yuuri laughed wiping her tears "I feel so out of control. Nothing makes sense and Viktor is not making things better" she sighed putting a hand on forehead "I don't know him other than what I see on television and he is taking over my life. I don't know what to say to make him stop long enough to listen to me either!"
Chris blew out a breath "Well hell honey I see where you're coming from" he said standing up he walked over to the fridge and took out the bottle of vodka Viktor always had on hand. Taking the cranberry juice he added a splash of it with a bit of orange and some ice and walked back to Yuuri and handed it to her "You look like you need this"
Yuuri took it gratefully and took a small sip and sighed "I can't even taste the vodka"
"I didn't put too much in there" said Chris doctoring one up for him with a significant amount of alcohol "You ballerinas are itty bitty little things. I don't want you getting sick"
"Thank you Chris. You are a good guy"
He blonde haired man laughed "I'll be sure to call you so you can let my boyfriend know that when gets angry at me for being too naughty" flashing her a smile.
Yuuri laughed "Deal"
Settling back down on the sofa Chris turned on the television and looked for a movie on Netflix so they could watch. They decided on Sherlock Holmes since Chris had a thing for Sherlock's character. "Brainy is the new sexy" he said winking at her. Yuuri liked being around Chris which she found a surprise since she wasn't good around men in general but there was something so fun about his flirty banter especially since she knew he didn't swing her way that made him easy to hang out with.
Viktor came back by the time the show ended. He took one look at the vodka on the table then at Yuuri who was sipping her second drink and scowled. Setting down her two bags and the bag of food he brought he walked over and took the drink out of hand and sniffed it.
"You know you can't have this Yuuri" he said walking to the kitchen tossing the drink away "What were you thinking? Alcohol is prohibited"
Yuuri laid back on the sofa fighting the tears and the urge to smack him upside the head "We don't know that yet Viktor"
"You did say there was a high possibility" Viktor responded putting the vodka bottle away.
Yuuri sighed leaning against the sofa sulking again.
Chris looked from Yuuri to Viktor his eyes wide. He turned to Yuuri "You're pregnant?"
Yuuri shrugged "I don't know. There is a huge possibility but Viktor doesn't want me to take the morning after pill"
Things suddenly made a whole lot more sense to Chris. He wasn't sure how much Viktor was aware of the fact that he had been recently more and more drawn to kids ever since he turned 27. When the kids would come into the ice rink for their lessons Viktor would hang back for a bit and meet with them. The little ones were his favorite. He would get the biggest grin on his face when a 3 year old would skate to him.
If there was even a slight possibility that Yuuri was pregnant then Viktor would fight her teeth and nail for her to keep the baby. Chris whistled "This is getting better than Days of Our Lives"
Viktor rolled his eyes walked over to Yuuri and plucked her off the sofa. "I'll be back. Yuuri needs her rest" went to get a white bag that had 'Macy's' on it and then went upstairs with Yuuri in tow who turned and gave him a look that clearly said 'here we go again'
Yuuri saw no point fighting with him so she lay passive while he carried around like a sack of potatoes.
Once in his bedroom he walked past it and into the bathroom setting her down gently.
"Oh does this mean I'm allowed to walk all by little myself again?" she said in a sweet sarcastic tone smiling up at him.
Viktor pinned her with an 'I am not amused' glare setting the bag down on the counter top then walked out and went his closet.
Yuuri didn't know what he was doing but she peered into the bag then wished she hadn't. When he walked in with a white cotton shirt she had her arms folded "What the hell?" she said her face bright red "Why did you buy me underwear and bras?"
He chuckled placing the shirt on the countertop "There are also some shampoo, conditioner, and face stuff the lady put in there. She said they are their best sellers so I figured you might like a little pampering"
She was almost afraid to know but curiosity got the best of her and she moved the intimate apparel to see bottles of facial cleansers, moisturizers, face serums and masks from Chanel, Clinique and Dior along with some free gifts from the looks of it. Yuuri closed her eyes and breathed out an exasperated breath "Viktor…." she started but again he cut her off.
"Hear me out Yuuri" he said leaning against the counter top folding his arms "I don't want you to take the morning after pill. This is as much my problem as it is yours. It takes two and as the father I have would think I had some say on whether I want a child or not"
Yuuri started trembling "I'm too young….." she whispered "I wanted to be married and in love when I became a mother" She couldn't do this…
Viktor reached over and pulled her into his arms and held on to her placing her head on his chest while he rubbed her back "I will be here Yuuri…" he raised her face so that he could gently place a soft kiss to her lips "You may not be married now but won't you give us a chance to become something other than a one night fling?"
Why did he have to feel so good? Why wasn't she stronger around him? She should have demanded for him to take her home. To stop being an ass and stop trying to control her instead she leaned into him and parted her lips for him when his mouth asked for entrance. The scent of cologne and something utterly masculine made her weak for him, eager for his touch.
When he slanted his mouth over hers her whole body sang just for him. Every single cell thirsted for this man and she followed blindly. She could feel her hair falling from her undo the heavy curtain loose from the confinement of her bun. She sighed contently. His tongue tasted her as she tasted him feeling incredibly lightheaded. He was like a drug to the blood stream and she was turning into a junkie for him.
He pulled back with a low moan deep in his throat that made her center ache. Oh god she needed him. She felt so empty it hurt. Looking up at him she felt her whole body shudder slightly. His eyes were the most smoldering shade of dark turquoise it almost made her whimper for him to continue.
"If we don't stop I will take you right here and now Yuuri" his voice was gruff his breath came out in pants making her slick with need.
She nodded swallowing thickly but unable to step away from him. She couldn't find the willpower to pull away from his arms. She tried to get her left hand to uncurl from his silky silver hair, tried to pry her other hand away from his warm chest but her body had no control. She could the rise and fall of his chest, feel the lean muscles tempting her to lift up his shirt and lick and nibble every inch of his perfect skin.
He wasn't faring any better. The need to be inside Yuuri was riding on him like damn harpy until all he could hear was her heavy breathing. The glazed look in her eyes was not helping things either "Yuuri" he moaned out and captured her lips again. He heard her moan and knew he was lost. He roughly tore at her leggings and tutu his tongue fucking her mouth eagerly loving the small mewls she made in her throat. Once the annoying fabric was off of her he quickly discarded her top with one hard yank up then pulled her naked body to him his hands caressing and coaxing her into a frenzy of passion. That all-consuming need was taking over again and all he could think about was being in her tight heat. Her hands yanked on his shirt trying to get to him. Pulling it off he shuddered when he felt her nails scratching at his skin deliciously.
Hulling her up he turned then around and set her ass on the counter angling her pelvis to his while one hand undid the front of his jeans. He. Needed. Her. Now.
Freeing himself he only took a second to shut the bathroom door close then thrust into her tight welcoming heat in one masterful stroke causing the world to dissolve around them.
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Yuuri gasped trying to get enough air into her lungs but Viktor had fallen on top of her. Her body trembled with aftershocks that made her body clench around his pulsing cock as he drained his seed inside of her again. She was sore all over but felt so incredibly sated that she could sleep where she lay but the cold tiles were uncomfortable.
She let out a small whine when she felt Viktor pulled out after a few minutes. She sighed closing her eyes. Again they had forgotten all about protection. What was wrong with her?
Why did this man make her lose all inhibitions and good sense? She felt his lips kissing her neck, shoulder then moved down. Oh she loved his lips. She ran her hands through his silver hair but paused when he reached her stomach and kissed it gently…...lovingly.
"My Yuuri" he whispered then moved up to lock his gaze with hers and smiled at her.
Yuuri felt at a loss for words. Viktor looked like he was radiating happiness. What could she say to that? She didn't know so she gave him a small smile. That seemed to be the right thing since he crawled up her body and gave her a deep soul searing kiss that made her toes curl.
"Take a shower with me" he said against her lips then moved to pull her up.
Blushing red she nodded. She watched him move to the large walk in shower and turn on the different jets. She loved how confidently he moved. The flow of his lean muscles had her tracing the different plains of his body appreciatively. When her eyes landed on the red scratch marks on his back she really couldn't help the small feminine pride that blossomed. Those were her marks. She had lay her claim to him as he did to her. Dangerous thoughts those were.
Turning to look at her he strode over and took her hand leading her to the large shower then went into the bag and took out the shampoo he had bought for her.
She might have died and gone to heaven. His shower was pure seduction. She could live in the shower alone and be happy. It had three head above her and three on either side. It was almost sinful. Never having showered with a man before she was a little scared. He seemed to have noticed this and pulled her against his body just holding her.
"It's only me" he whispered leaning down to kiss her neck "I am all yours to explore my little swan. Touch me all you wish" he whispered against her neck taking her small hand and brought it up to his chest. Timidly she looked up red in the face but curious all the same she slowly did just that. Traced the defined dips and curves of his sculpted body, memorizing the texture of his skin. The color of it and the way his muscles would slightly jump under her fingertips. She's never been so close to a man before, never examined the male body in such close proximity.
"I can see this is all new to you" he said pulling her closer to coax her into a melting kiss "And you don't know how fucking sexy that is. Can I wash you now?"
Blushing red she nodded and allowed him to clean her body gently all the while placing open mouth kisses on her shoulder occasionally giving her skin a bite. She shuddered to think what her neck looked like now.
By the time they finished and she dressed in her new underwear and bra she was so very tired. She didn't fight him when he pulled on his shirt over her head.
"Why am I wearing your clothes?" she asked but she was already leaning against him half asleep.
Viktor chuckled. She was so heartbreakingly beautiful and she was all his. Picking her up, she sighed contently leaning into him. A thrill shot up his body. She was starting to accept him and his touch.
"Because you couldn't have slept in your practice clothes malysh" he said walking into his room lifted the blankets and tucked her into bed. She yawned and turned to her side already deep asleep. Viktor watched her there for a moment. It felt so natural to have her close. It wasn't so much that he was getting to know her but it felt more like they have been separated for years and they were reconnecting. Now she was exactly where she needed to be. Home.
His body felt tired and sleepy as well but he wanted to stay up and do some research. It was still early but he would let Yuuri sleep a bit before he woke her up. She needed eat. She was much too thin and he worried if that would cause a miscarriage if she was carrying. He walked down to see Chris on the sofa watching a movie drink in hand.
"Finally" he said standing up "Thought you were never going to leave that poor girl rest"
Viktor went to get the bag of food and set the items on the countertop "Yuuri is sleeping"
Chris stood up and went to sit on a barstool looking at him seriously "Viktor I know how you get and I know you are probably already thinking of baby names but you have to give the girl a say. She is going to be the one carrying the baby for 9 months. That's 9 months of her not being able to do what she loves. Yuuri may lose that scholarship she told me about"
Viktor shook his head "I have already thought of that" he said taking the roasted chicken and popped it into the oven and set it on low to keep it warm "Yuuri is talented enough to be able to attend The Vaganova School. If she is pregnant then once she has the baby I will help her get back into shape after our son or daughter is a year old and I will made sure she dances again"
Chris shook his head at him "Unbelievable" he muttered pinching the bridge of his nose "You are seriously unbelievable sometimes Viktor" he honestly was feeling bad for Yuuri and hoped that she wasn't pregnant. A large part of him wanted to get her out of Viktor's grasp before he did end up planting a baby in her.
"What?" said Viktor defensively "St. Petersburg is a good city to raise a family and I had been thinking of returning to Russia for some time. Yuuri can go to one of the top ballet schools in the world and I can continue to skate for my country. My sponsors would up the amount they give me if I move more locally as well"
Chris was shaking his head "What does Yuuri say about all this?"
"I will tell her little by little. Once we know if she is carrying then we go from there"
Chris rose an eyebrow "And if she's not?"
Viktor shrugged "We shall see when that happens"
Chris wasn't so sure his friend would let things go though "So when do you know by?"
"Hopefully in three weeks or so"
"Well then let me what the outcome is" he said hopping off the barstool "I'm heading home. Michael is due to come home soon"
Once Chris left he put the rest of the groceries away took his laptop and went upstairs to sit by Yuuri. His cell phone rang a few times but seeing it was Phitchit he ignored them then heard the sound of a phone ringing from Yuuri's bag. Locating her gym back he took her phone out and flipped it on vibrate. Yuuri didn't need the stress.
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Yuuri peered at the dark room and frowned.
Oh right….she wasn't home. Again she looked down at the arms holding her hostage and almost wanted to laugh. Seems Viktor was a huge fan of cuddling and while she would have just liked to fall back to sleep…. her bladder had other ideas. Wiggling herself free from the cuddle monster that was Viktor she crept silently into the restroom limping slightly. Once done she yawned turning off the bathroom light and stood there debating if she should 1. Getting back into bed and just say fuck it. 2. Go downstairs and raid his fridge….she was hungry or 3. Sneak out and go home.
Yuuri looked down at her sleep shirt and shook her head. His dress shirt fit her so big the hem reached her knees and it fell off one shoulder. She didn't like not having any pants on though…..
She looked around and spotted his lounging pants on the side of the bed next to Makkachin who was sleeping adorably on the foot of the bed. Taking them she pulled them on, tugged on the drawstring them folded the waist a few times. They still dragged but at least she didn't feel so naked. Walking to the nightstand she groaned in her head.
3:02am.
'What the hell body' she scolded at herself. She hated being up without a reason. Looking over to make sure Viktor was sound asleep she made her way down the stairs making sure to keep as much weight off her left ankle. Opening the fridge she opted for the strawberries taking a few. She saw her bag and remembered she was supposed to meet up with Pi.
"Crap" she muttered fishing for her phone and saw she had multiple calls, messages and voicemails. This was not pretty.
Going to the sofa she placed the bowl of strawberries on the coffee table silently and unlocked her phone.
-1:23pm: Yuuri where are you? Pi
-2:45pm: Yuuri I called the school and they said you left with Viktor. Fucking answer your phone. Pi
-5:04pm: Yuuri I am not kidding around I will kill him. Where are you? Pi
-10:28pm: I will call your parents Yuuri….I mean it! Pi
-12:55am: He is a dead man. Tell him that. Pi
She felt her anxiety loom over her so strong her hands were shaking. How much could she take before she snapped? She knew that if she called Phitchit right now he would come for her but she hated to think of the scandal that would cause Viktor. Then there was Viktor.
The man was a downright dominating pain in the ass. He took her life and turned it upside down. She tried to meditate through the overwhelming panic she felt when she thought of being pregnant.
She couldn't be. She just couldn't.
Viktor didn't do commitment. She wasn't stupid. She was a passing fancy for him. When he got bored he would move on and leave her with a child to raise on her own. Sure he would give her child support and she was sure he would visit every now and again but she was not deluding herself into believing he would settle down with her.
She didn't know how long she sat there crying feeling like the walls were closing in on her but she jumped when a pair of arms snaked around her from behind the sofa.
"You're shivering malysh….what's wrong?"
Baby. He was calling her baby in Russian. God he was going to destroy her when all this ended.
"It's just a lot to take in" her voice was low barely above a whisper. She heard him sigh softly his hand pushing her heavy hair over one shoulder so that he could kiss her neck giving her goosebumps.
"I understand but things will work out Yuuri"
Yuuri turned to look up at him "No Viktor" she said standing up walking away from the temptation of being held by him "Things won't 'work out' until you can listen to reason. You slept with me twice and already you are acting like we are a married couple. I haven't been home. You are dictating my every move and you want me to risk a pregnancy knowing that I am on a scholarship" she rubbed her face "I know you don't mind a baby but what about me? Doesn't my opinions matter?"
"Of course they do but I am confident that this happened for a reason too" he said walking up to her. He pulled her into his arms "I'm sorry if you feel like I'm taking your choices away from you Yuuri. I don't want you to feel like that but…Yuuri can I ask you what you feel when you are in my arms?"
"I…." she couldn't find the words and she couldn't find the word and she couldn't admit to him that she felt safe in his arms. She felt that ache leave her when he held her or that he made her anxiety disappeared. That would give the man too much power over her.
"I can see you won't tell me and that's ok" he said smiling "I already expected that from you but I can tell you what I feel"
Yuuri eyes widen.
"I feel like you belong here" he emphasized that by holding her closer "Like you have always meant to be here. I don't feel like I just met you Yuuri. I feel like I've met you years ago but something kept us apart and we finally found each other again"
She knew what he meant. She hated being around strange men. They frightened her and she could never relax in their company. This apartment felt normal. Climbing down stairs and going into the fridge had felt like she has done it a million times here. Waking up in bed next to him did not send her into a frenzy of nerves….in fact if she was honest with herself she had been thinking of climbing back under the blankets and cuddling up next to him before he came downstairs.
Still….
"Trust is the biggest issue I have with you" she whispered. Stories of his conquests and his romances plastered all over the papers made her feel small and inadequate. How could she compare to woman like the ones he use to date?
She felt and heard him sigh "This is about my past isn't it?"
Not feeling brave enough she nodded. It was petty of her but she hated his past.
He pulled back and tipped her face up so that she could meet his gaze. She looked into his turquoise eyes and saw sadness and self-loathing in them. Her heart felt like it got caught in her throat. She didn't like that expression. It moved her heart as much as she tried to remain detached. His mask that he wore to the rest of the world fell away and she saw stark loneliness looking down at her that she felt like she was drowning in it.
This was not the playboy the papers wrote about. This was a simple man who looked like he was longing for affection or some kind of gentle emotion. There was a desperate gleam in those eyes like it just beyond his reach and he was trying hard to hold on to it.
'It's me' she finally realized in wonder and amazement 'I'm what he's is trying to keep but I shy away from him'
"I know you have no reason to believe me Yuuri, I get it I really do" he said his voice was low and sad his emotions bare for her to see "But I do know you are not like them. You are not some random female a man can turn to get off on. You are more" one hand crept up to her hair "I am more than happy to leave my old ways behind me if only you say you'd give me a chance Yuuri….would you?"
"I don't know Viktor…A baby is a huge thing" she whispered feeling her eyes beginning to droop. Viktor had his hand in her hair massaging her scalp while the other held her close. God that felt so good. She breathed in his scent and felt her heart settle. How could just his scent relax her so much? He needed to bottle that because it worked better than a sedative.
"It is" he said holding her closer "But it makes me sick thinking of the alternative but…..if you are really against it tomorrow I will buy you the pills" he then pulled away to look at her again "But that won't change my mind Yuuri. I still want you to be mine"
Yuuri's vision blurred and her heart tighten painfully. Could she really do it? Could she trust him? And could she really take the pill knowing there was a good chance she was carrying his child? A child that from the looks of it he really and truly wanted.
It wasn't like she was against having babies…..she loved children but she wanted to do things right before she could even dream of a family. Things were getting so complicated. She sighed and yawned feeling like the flurry of emotions were beginning to truly burn her out.
"You need to sleep Yuuri" he said picking her up again "We will talk in the morning"
Deciding nothing was going to be resolved today she nodded and let him tuck her back into bed all while he held her close. As she lay there breathing in his scent she wished she could keep him.
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*** Mijita= spanish endearment meaning sweetie or the equivalent of. Mostly used by an older person when addressing a younger person they care about.
Continue? Should I make Yuuri pregnant or just a close call?
I do have a plot already thought out and if I do continue I will write at least 2 more long chapters. Dark Angel of Mine is in its epilogue chapter that I will try and drill out by the end of this week.