.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.

Big thank you hugs to Snarkymuch for beta'ing and Gredelina1, Arrr and Mary-Alice-Brandon-Cullen for pre-reading. Love you ladies.

Chapter Two — It Worries Me

Edward POV

"No. I'm sorry, but no." Esme crossed her arms over her chest and fixed us with a stern glare. "You can't."

I shrugged. "Not to worry, I'm sure there are plenty of other suitable places for us to stay. Maybe we should just backpack for a while."

"Sounds perfect," Bella said, resting her head on my arm.

"You misunderstand. I didn't just mean no you can't stay on the island; I meant you can't leave at all. You are both going to stay here with your family where you belong."

I looked to Carlisle, hoping to find understanding in his eyes, but instead found conflict. Is this what you need?

I nodded. This was not a simple flight of fancy to take off and see the world; we needed this time to heal together.

He sighed in resignation. "I think it is a good idea. Bella and Edward deserve some time together. You will come back of course."

"Of course we will," Bella said brightly, not seeing the sadness in Carlisle's eyes. He was torn between his desire to keep the family together after so long apart and wanting Bella and I to rebuild our bond.

"You'll forgive me if I am not completely reassured by your words. The last time you left you hid in an attic for a year." Esme turned her fierce glare on Bella. "And you sat at the bottom of the ocean for two years rather than be with us. It doesn't engender trust."

Bella sighed sadly and fell silent. I was irrationally angry at her for allowing herself to be so affected by Esme's words. Her new stronger personality had faded in the face of opposition. Or so I thought.

She was quiet for a moment then nodded decisively. "Emmett, Alice, Jasper, Rose," she called to each of them in turn. "I know you are listening to every word, you may as well come join the conversation properly."

Like scolded children they trailed in from the kitchen, where they had indeed been listening to every word.

Bella sat up straight, drawing all eyes to her. "We need to talk."

I fought the urge to wrap my arms around her; not to comfort, but to stop her from leaving. She patted my hand comfortingly, as if knowing exactly what I was thinking.

"I don't know about the rest of you, but to me, these last two weeks have been bliss compared to how I felt before. We have been together and happy–"

"And now you want to run away and leave us again." Esme cut in.

Bella closed her eyes and took a deep breath before speaking again. "We have been together and happy, but we were also acting. We haven't addressed the deeper issues, and I think we need to now."

She stood and began pacing. In contrast to her animated movement the rest of us were statues. We waited in silence for her to continue.

"I ran. I woke up as a newborn vampire and ran away. I can't imagine how worried you must have been, and I'm sorry for it, but you all know why I did it. Edward left too. He left me, and you, and went to hunt Victoria. When that failed he holed up alone in Rio, you all know his reasons for doing that too. We both thought we were protecting the other."

She locked eyes with Esme and though she looked apologetic there was tightening around her jaw that showed her tension.

"You all left too. You didn't leave for me though, you left for Edward. You left because it was what he wanted. I know there was conflict and discussion, but you still left. At least you have the comfort of knowing Edward and I came back because we chose to independently. You came back because Alice had the vision of me in hospital. God knows I'm glad you did, but had she not seen me you wouldn't have come back."

They were all shocked by Bella's words, but there was no denying the truth. Had they not known Bella needed them they would not have returned.

"I'm not upset about it," she said, forestalling Esme's words. "Comas give you a lot of time to think, and I understand why you made the choices you did. Now you need to show us the same understanding. We need time alone together, and we are not going to be made to feel guilty for taking it."

"What if we promised to give you time alone here?" Rosalie asked hopefully.

She smiled sadly. "I don't think you could. Don't think I haven't noticed the eyes watching my every move. I understand why you do it, and I didn't mind when it was just me, but now it is affecting Edward too and that isn't fair. We need this."

There was echoing silence as she finished. They were all processing her words and trying to find a way of disputing them, but it was pointless. Bella had left them no room for argument; she spoke the truth and they all knew it.

Emmett was grappling for a new approach, his eyes danced with glee as he came up with what he thought was 'a dead cert idea'.

"You need time alone, I get that, but we should come too." He caught her disbelieving look. "Let me finish. We should come too as you and Edward haven't been out in the vampire world for a long time. What if you come across a nomad and need protecting?"

She smiled a little mischievously. "You may have a point, Emmett. It's not like Edward or I are capable of protecting ourselves."

"I knew you'd understand." He beamed happily at her.

"I do," she said, wide eyed and innocent. I could see trouble brewing, but Emmett was oblivious. He was thrilled that she was being so agreeable.

"After all it's not like we can just do this…" She waved a hand carelessly and at the same moment used her shield to send him flying backwards.

His shocked expression as he disappeared behind the couch broke the tension and we all laughed.

"You can use the island," Esme said, not entirely hiding the begrudging tone in her voice. It was the closest we were going to get to her blessing.

"Thanks, Mom."

Like Emmett with his new moniker, nothing made Esme happier than being called mom, especially by Bella. She and Carlisle really felt like parents to her, she had depended on them so much more than any of their 'children' had.

"I like the idea of backpacking though."

I had only suggested it to prove that we were going away together whether Esme allowed us to use the island or not, but the more I thought of it the more the idea appealed. Bella hadn't travelled much as a human, and I wanted to be able to show her some of the places I had been in my long life.

"How about we backpack and finish off on Esme's island?" I suggested.

"Finish off?" Esme's eyes narrowed. "How long are you planning on be away for?"

Bella shrugged. "No idea, but how about we make a deal? If it looks to be a long time, we will arrange to meet up with you every now and then. Call it a Cullen family vacation plan."

"That sounds fair," Carlisle spoke before Esme could start bargaining. "You call us when you can, and we will arrange to meet somewhere."

"Deal." I was eager to get this discussion over quickly. The longer we were gathered, the more arguments against our trip the family seemed to create.

Resigned to our plans the family began suggesting locations for us to visit, conversation was animated with one exception. Jasper. He and Bella were apparently using their emotional connection to communicate. Whatever she was saying, he wasn't happy about it. He had become skilled at hiding his thoughts, so I couldn't hear what she was saying.

He nodded curtly and strode from the room, leaving the front door wide open. Bella sighed and sank back into the chair.

"What was that about?" Emmett asked.

"Nothing for you to worry about," she said tiredly. "I'm going to take a shower." She plodded from the room with slumped shoulders.

I was angry at Jasper for spoiling it for us. She had been doing so well, and now she was miserable again. I wondered if she would still want to go away with me now. He was apparently opposed to the idea, and she would hate to upset him further.

"Don't do it, Edward" Alice said, fixing me with a stern glare.

I tried to look innocent. "Do what?"

"I know you are thinking about going after him. Let him get whatever it is out of his system, then you can talk."

"I didn't see that," I argued.

"Because I didn't look. I know my husband though, if you go out there now, I assure you it won't end well."

I knew she was right, but my anger still raged. It felt like my relationship with Bella was now extended to include him too. It wasn't enough that I had to share her heart with him, now he was taking away my time with her too. He had his own mate. He should leave mine alone.

Son, I really don't think this is wise. Listen to Alice, allow him time. Carlisle cautioned.

I didn't want caution. I wanted to use my anger to finally have the discussion with Jasper that had been brewing for the last two years. On the rare occasions that we would meet with him and Alice in our search, I would hear his thoughts. I knew he was feeling her absence almost as much as I was, and it was wrong.

"I'm going to see Eleazar." I lied and walked from the house before anyone had a chance to argue.

I headed in the direction of the Denali house at first, changing path when I was out of sight and tracing Jasper's scent. I found him in the clearing he and Emmett had been in when Bella returned.

He heard me coming and growled low in his throat. "Not now Edward."

"I think now is the perfect time," I said with equal ferocity. He was projecting his anger and it was feeding into my own. "What were you and Bella talking about?" I demanded.

"That is not your business."

"It is when it affects my mate. You have upset her, and I want to know why. You are always having your secret conversations and keeping me out. Now tell me what you said." My last words came out as a growl.

"Fine," he snapped. "You want to know what we were talking about? I was asking her why she was deserting me again. Why after staying away for two years, she was running off with you and leaving me behind. I know she doesn't want to go, but she can't deny you anything because she's scared you'll leave her again. You destroyed the last three years of her life and now you are taking her away again. I'm not going to let you."

"Leaving you behind? Think about what you are saying, she is my mate, not yours. You don't get a say in this." My voice was uneven because of the low growl building in my chest.

"The hell I don't. I was the one that took care of her; I believed in her when nobody else did. She will listen to me, you are not taking her away again." He was losing control completely, his rage coming from him in waves.

It was all I had feared. He was going to stop her. He knew the influence he had over her and was going to use it to take her away from me. I wouldn't allow it to happen; I couldn't.

I felt the fury building in me as my vision took on the red haze that portended the fight. There was only one solution.

I charged at him.

Bella POV

I hated that I had upset Jasper but this is what had to happen. I owed Edward my first loyalty, and he needed time with me.

I finished my shower and came back to the lounge combing my drying hair. The family were still seated where I had left them, with one glaring exception. Their eyes followed me as I searched the room.

"Where is Edward?" I already knew the answer but a small optimistic part of me hoped they would tell me he was still here.

"He went to visit with the Denalis," Esme said with forced calm.

"That stupid shit," I hissed, running for the door.

They were easy to find, the same pull I always felt for Edward was dragging me towards him. I heard their growls and snarls with the sound of crashing thunder. I was too late.

I pushed myself faster, sending my shield out ahead of me. I felt them come under its range and I dragged them apart. I had never attempted to split it before, but like most things with my shield it was instinctive.

They were not lost in the rage enough to be oblivious to my arrival. When I got to them they were standing calmly, held twenty feet apart by my shield and looking as if I had merely interrupted a heated discussion.

"What the hell are you doing?" I demanded, my fists clenched at my sides.

"We were just wrestling, love," Edward lied. I hoped he knew me well enough to know I wasn't going to believe that.

"Jasper?" I asked, locking eyes with him.

"We were just wrestling," Jasper said. "Sorry if we worried you. It was a friendly sparring match."

I closed my eyes and counted to ten. I needed to get a grip on my own emotions before I dealt with theirs. I felt my shield drop from them as I calmed myself and held my breath for a moment, hoping my presence would be enough to stop them from attacking each other again.

"I was going to see Eleazar," Edward said. "Do you want to come?"

"You go ahead, I'll be there in a moment. I need to talk to Jasper first."

Edwards face fell. I knew I needed to deal with his insecurities, but there was a more pressing issue to address first.

"Please, Edward, I won't be long."

"I really think Jasper needs some time to calm down first."

"He looks perfectly calm to me. Besides you were just wrestling weren't you? I will be perfectly safe."

He looked uncomfortable, torn between his desire to keep me unaware of their fight and his need to keep me safe.

"Trust me, I will be fine."

It was underhanded of me to play the trust card and we both knew it. I needed this time with Jasper though, we needed to have this discussion now while he was still able. If allowed to calm again, he would return to his happy, understanding act.

Edward nodded sadly and ran through the trees toward the Denalis' house. I wrapped him in my shield, keeping it elastic so he would not feel it. When I felt his signature spark fade, I knew he was far enough away and I turned to Jasper.

"What did you do?" The calm I had held to when Edward was here dropped, and I allowed him to feel my own anger.

"I told him he couldn't take you away again. You are only going because of him. I know you don't really want to leave us and I said so. You don't have to go now."

My anger faded as I looked at him. He truly believed he was taking care of me. He didn't see that I was able to do it for myself now.

"I want to go away though. Didn't you hear anything I said at the house? We need this time together, and we are going to take it."

His eyes hardened, and I knew his anger was building again. "How do you know he will stay though? What if he runs off again and leaves you? You will end up at the bottom of the ocean again, and we will never find you."

"He won't leave me, he can't."

"You sure about that? You weren't so sanguine when we were begging you to accept the change. 'I don't want forever alone.' Isn't that what you said? How do you know you can trust him now? Something could happen and he'll run off again like the coward he is."

His words were like darts against my skin, uncertainty washed over me. I had to fight the urge to run to Edward now, to hold him to me and beg him not to leave.

"See, you don't trust him either. You need to stay with me so I can take care of you."

I almost lost my footing as the depression crept in again. All my certainty from before was gone. I felt like the girl trapped within her own body again; reliant on others for everything, even the ability to speak. Had Jasper not been there, I would have been lost forever. His ability to feel my emotions was all that had saved me.

The fear was crushing me. He was going to leave me. I was going to be left all alone.

In comparison to my gut wrenching pain, Jasper was calm. He looked almost satisfied as another wave of depression coursed through me. I wasn't shielding myself, he should have been affected by my emotions… my emotions. Not mine, his.

I felt his artificial pain leave me as my fury eclipsed it. I locked myself in place, using the shield as I had in the midst of my change to stop them seeing my pain. Now I used it to stop from launching myself at him. I had never been so angry. Not even when I thought they had dragged Edward home against his will.

"You bastard," I snarled. "How dare you do that to me. You think I haven't suffered enough? You use your gift to hurt me."

I wasn't hurt now. I was enraged. I allowed my anger to fill me, creating a haze in my mind, then I sent it at Jasper with all the force I could muster. I saw the moment it hit him, his eyes changed from clear gold to pure onyx. A fierce growl ripped though his clenched teeth.

"Stop it, Bella," he snarled.

"Like you did? It was okay for you to influence me, why shouldn't return the favor?"

His expression was murderous, and it only served to increase my rage. I wanted to hurt him like he hurt me. I pulled my arm back and aimed a punch at his jaw.

I underestimated him. With a roar he shoved me away, sending me crashing into a forty foot spruce.

Well now I was pissed.

I know Jasper is being a bit of a douche in this chapter, but he has his reasons as will be explained in the next chapter. I was aiming to keep to a once a week update schedule with this story but as this is a bit of a cliffy ending - though not in comparison to the IOS cliffy extrazvaganza - I will try and get the next chapter posted a little sooner.

I think I got teasers to all of you that asked, if I missed you out, I apologize. If you would like a teaser of the next chapter let me know in a review or PM.

I'm Only Sleeping won an Emerging Swan Award. Thank you to all that voted.

I asked and you answered; the lyrics are back - this time complements of Mary-Alice-Brandon-Cullen. Same set up as before. If you can tell me the song and artist for these lyrics I will dedicate the next chapter to you. Good luck x x x

~ If you love me, then let go of me I wont be held down by who I used to be ~