Wow, thanks for the amazing support! It means a lot and has motivated me to continue this fic. I have a vague idea of where it's going, so it might take a while between updates but now I do want to finish it. :)
She wasn't always pretty.
There was that terrible Lucy Caboosey phase.
Quinn doesn't talk about it much. See, when she was born she was perfect. Yay, perfect. That wasn't any sort of pressure or anything. From when she was born to when she turned about 10, she was the cutest little thing. The perfect ornament for the Fabray family tree. Her dad basically doted on her hand and foot because she was his little doll. Franny didn't exactly take it well, so there was always that rift between the sisters. If their dad needed an accessory, Quinn was the choice. Then she gained a few extra pounds. And it was honestly not that much. But she was no longer picture perfect. And her dad hated that. And the anxiety made Quinn eat more, made her start hating herself more. Badness ensued.
It got to a point where her own father ignored her.
She had already been a lonely kid (her parents were picky about who she could have play dates with), and now her dad pretended she didn't exist, her sister hated her and her mom didn't notice her over the perpetual glass of liquor she had in front of her. And the kids at school could now pick on her.
Basically her dad was thrilled when she asked for the extra help to get back into shape. And that made her hate herself more, because she realized he'd never loved her for anything but her beauty. But superficial love was better than none.
Quinn also decided to call herself by her middle name instead of her first and kick ass instead of get picked on.
She met Brittany and Santana in her dance classes. So they did know about her previous looks. But despite appearances they were amazing friends and never told anyone. Even after the boob job "slip". But that was probably one of the reasons Santana was having more trouble forgiving her for that, because San would never ever think of telling about Lucy.
Quinn preferred limiting her intake of food to purging, but whatever she needed to do to keep perfect.
Ok, that wasn't all.
It wasn't just the perfect thing. Because… It was really more about the fact that she liked the way the world was sort of hazy and light after a few days of barely anything to eat.
It really made it easier to ignore everyone.
.
Rachel kept staring at her. It was driving Quinn insane. More than.
She was being less obnoxious in Glee and devoting her time to watching Quinn like a hawk. Which was actually stressing out the club. For the first few minutes they had rejoiced. And then they'd realized they didn't know what to do without Rachel's direction. And Mr. Schue wasn't actually helpful. Probably something about Ms. Pillsbury was making him all… depressed Mr. Schue.
Then suddenly Rachel stood. "I think we should devote this meeting to songs about inner beauty."
Everything in Quinn bristled.
As if on cue, everyone in the Glee club started to sneer, as if they'd been coming up with ideas before this. "Didn't we already do this one like, ten million times?" Santana asked from the back. Quinn rolled her shoulders forward and concentrated on looking at the book in her lap.
"Sometimes we all need to be reminded of how beautiful we all truly are, on the inside."
Which seemed like kind of a moot point, since Quinn was pretty sure she was more ugly inside than out.
There was mixed debate and when Quinn peeked up from her book she could see the stubborn look on Rachel's face setting in.
Quinn really could not deal with this today. She stood up and cast cold eyes Rachel's way. "If this is what were doing today, I have better things to do with my time." Which was a lie. Glee was her favorite part of the day, but she didn't enjoy this feeling of not being safe in her own haven. Rachel's eyes became big and moist and she looked like she was about to start sobbing. Quinn recoiled in disgust at the unnecessary display of emotion. "Do not look at me like that Ru Paul!" she snapped.
The whole club had gone silent in shock. Everyone was looking at each other in confusion. Finn looked angry and was about to say something when, of all people, Santana said, "Whoa, Cap, what the hell?"
"Nothing Santana." Quinn said softly, cursing herself for such an outward emotive response. That shit was only supposed to go inward.
Finn, deciding to take a crack at chivalry, rose his voice and said loudly, "Apologize Quinn."
Quinn closed her eyes and chewed at her cheek to restrain herself from throttling the boy. She turned icy eyes toward him and he quailed. Finally, a small triumph. Quinn picked up her bag and left.
Behind her, she could faintly hear Brittany's confused, "Do we storm out too San? I don't understand what happened."
"I don't either B. Just sit tight."
To Quinn's relief no one followed.