Oh yeah I forgot to put this on the other one, I don't own this, Meyers does.
I was sitting in the school parking lot, debating whether or not I could get away with skipping today, put off school for at least another 24 hours. Probably not, this is a small ass town, where would I go that Charlie wasn't sure to see me while he was patrolling? Plus the sooner I got the whole 'first day' nonsense out of the way, the better. On the plus side though, I noticed that my car happened to be the nicest in the whole lot. If not the shiniest. I was feeling pretty spiffy till I saw a brand spankin' new Volvo drive into the lot in my rear view mirror. It was silver which is hard to compete with in the shiny department. I had no problem with the Swedish made cars, they were nice, but I couldn't help but feel a little peeved at it for ruining my sense of superiority. Whatever, mine was classic muscle.
I reclined my seat back and took a deep breath, held it, and let it out in a whoosh. It cleared my mind and let the sensual rhythm of the 'Incubus' song I was listening to fill my head. I was relaxed into an almost boneless state when I heard the first bell ring. I groaned, well here goes nothing.
I needed to go to the front office to pick up my schedule before I could do anything. I got out of the car and shut the creaky door. I don't know if it was the loud creak or some type of strange 'new girl' radar but every male head on campus simultaneously turned my way, it was sort of impressive but mostly unsettling. I kept my head down and booked it to the administration building.
The small office was oppressively warm and smelled like old carpet and loneliness. I looked down and found the reason behind one of the musty smells, pea green carpet that I imagine used to be a somewhat regular color a century and a half ago, covered the floor, I shuttered and looked towards the receptionist and found the source of the rank loneliness on the air. The secretary had dull bottle red hair and iridescent blue eye shadow, she was in her late fifties or perhaps younger but the sour expression on her face aged her. I leaned against the pealing Formica counter top and had to resist the destructive urge to help it along by picking at it.
Ms. Cope as the name plate declared is typing away and acknowledges my presence by holding up her pointer finger in a 'one minute gesture'. What the hell? She didn't even look up or say anything. She keeps on typing up whatever all-important document for at least another three minutes while I'm silently seething. I hate people like this, the kind that get a sense of power from making you wait unnecessarily. I started tapping my fingers to the beat of my heart, nothing, I leaned into the counter invading the hell out of her personal space, not even a look, I hummed a tune out of key and much louder than humming etiquette dictates and finally she looked up. I smiled, not because I was particularly thrilled to talk to her but I was glad to see that my tactics had finally paid off. What can I say? I got a sense of power from it.
"Can I help you?" Her voice was as bad as her appearance.
"If it's not too much trouble." I mentally pumped my fist in the air for keeping a straight face. "I'd like to get my schedule, it's my first day." I smiled, not that I really needed to win her favor, I could probably make her do whatever I wanted but if I didn't absolutely need to I didn't like influencing people in the special way I had.
"Oh, Isabella Swan right?" She started going through some file folders on the desk.
"Yep, that would be me." I said.
She was holding a piece of paper in her hands that I could clearly tell was my schedule but she didn't hand it over.
"Can I see some ID?" So that was how it was going to be? I knew for a fact that she was in no way concerned for the school's security, plus what could she think someone who looks like me possibly do? She was just giving me a hard time. Well, if she was going to play dirty then I would feel no guilt whatsoever in stooping to her level.
"Of course." I said digging through my bag to get my license.
"Here you are." As I handed her the ID I made sure to touch her hand. She probably thought I was strange or flirting with her. I shivered at the thought. Yucky. Whatever she thought though didn't matter, I had a handle on her brain now that I had made contact. It was particularly easy, with some people it takes a little more because they are strong willed, not this lady, her mind was my very own playground.
I looked at my schedule, it all seemed to be in order except that I had gym. I took that class my freshman year to get it out of the way, I was not about to be thrown into that mess again. I looked up at Ms. Cope to see that she had a distant look on her face, geez this would be like taking candy from a sick baby.
"Um, Ms. Cope it seems that I am scheduled to take gym sixth period, I already took the required PE class when I lived in Arizona. It wouldn't be any trouble for you to change it, right?" I forced the thought to take shape in her head only stopping when I felt it being absorbed so to speak. Saying it out loud was necessary, they have to have the idea all on their own.
"Well, sure I guess not." I felt like laughing like a mad scientist.
"Instead I'd like to take AP Psychology." My tone was firm, the kind that you take with a dog or child that's misbehaving.
She looked at me, entranced and started typing and clicking on her computer. "Yes, there is sixth period AP Psych class that I can switch you into." She looked to me hopefully.
"Yes, that would be great." I said. She beamed at me typed and clicked some more and then the printer whirred to life and spit out my new schedule. I checked it over. Yup, that would do it.
"Thanks so much." I said. I could feel my control of her slipping; I would need to get out of there before she realized she did something completely out of character. I can only hold a person's mind so long with limited physical contact, I suppose if I was holding someone's hand I could keep it up indefinitely but I had never attempted that. As unlikely it sounds sometimes I seriously creep myself out when I'm coercing someone, I feel a different part of myself coming out of some dark spot in my mind into the light and stretching like some big cat getting ready to go on the hunt. It was way too early to be thinking such heavy thoughts
I walked into my first period class three minutes late I might add due in part to Ms. Cope's shenanigans. The English teacher whose name I forgot almost as soon as I was told introduced me I told the class I was from Arizona, one of the guys commented on what a difference there was in climate. Wow I thought aren't you extremely good at pointing out the obvious. Then I felt bad for even thinking that, he was probably just trying to be nice. Since it was English and the teacher was okay as far as I was concerned -although a little boring but all that meant was that I could zone out, which I quickly did after he gave me all of the papers that I would need for this quarter.
The bell rang and I got up with everyone else and filed out into the hallway. Now to find my AP Bio class room number-
My train of thought as well as my path was cut off by the guy in front of me who I remembered as being the one in English that commented on the weather.
He stuck out his hand "Hi, I didn't get to introduce myself in English but my name is Mike."
I hesitated before shaking his hand I did not want to be tempted to control this guy and I'm sure I'm going to be he seems like the clingy type. "Bella," I said giving his hand a firm shake, this seemed to surprise him I guess he was used to girls giving weak handshakes.
"What's your next class?" He asked as he leaned into my personal bubble and looked at my schedule. "Oh! I have AP Bio next too, I'll walk with you there." He seemed pleased as punch to be helping little ole me find my way around this enormous bustling school. I was even being sarcastic in my thoughts today, if I kept up this bad mood I was sure to do something I was going to regret in the morning.
"That would be super." I said. 'Super'? I never say super. I rolled my eyes without him seeing. Slow down there Swan you're going to over play your hand.
"Great, it's right this way," He said.
As we walked down the hall then out into the courtyard it became increasingly difficult to ignore the stares and whispers from the groups of students that seemed to move out of our way like magnets repelling each other. Mikey over there seemed to be oblivious to it all as he went on and on about what life was like in Forks and the friends that he sits with at lunch, or at least those were the parts that I caught. While he was going on about his happily monotonous life I was silently losing my mind thinking about what the kids around me could be saying. What if they recognized me? I didn't think that my story had gone national but what did I know? I stopped watching the news after the incident in the alley.
The final week that I spent in Arizona I decided to go to school, ya'know say good bye to the friends, finish up dealing with academic matters. The week was hell. Okay so maybe I'm being melodramatic it wasn't really hell, I knew hell, I knew hell from the minutes I spent thinking I was going to be raped and killed in some filthy alley way by some creepy bastard. I had gotten my little taste of hell and now I should have known better than to compare awkward social situations to painful near death experiences. The point is I hated that week, it was filled with people whispering whenever they saw me and the constant questions, my favorite being "Did you really kill that Nazi guy?" well yeah dude don't you watch the news? I stabbed him in the neck with his own knife. My least favorite being "How did it feel to kill him?" If I was to be completely honest with myself I would say that it felt great, amazing even to drive that blade into his neck. I felt nothing but shear relief the moment he pulled the blade out, fell to the ground and bled out before my eyes. I didn't hate the question because I couldn't honestly answer it without freaking out my fellow classmates but because it caused me to relive the moment when I killed him, I'm not particularly squeamish but every time I realize that I'm happy he's dead that creature in the dark place in my mind flexes her claws and smiles a toothy grin because she knows the truth; that I enjoyed the hell out of killing that sick son of a bitch. She's the same creature that I war with every time I have control over someone, she doesn't see them as people she sees them as something to take advantage of, something vulnerable and easily taken. She sees them as prey.
The psychologist that my mom made me go see expected me to have some form of post traumatic stress disorder, I didn't. Sure I had the nightmares every night for at least a week but I had expected that and when they finally stopped I started to heal both emotionally and physicaly. The deep gouges on the backs of my forearms from where I had been shoved up against the uneven brick wall that had metal hardware sticking out of it (I had to get a tetanus shot and stitches), were now just angry red shiny scares and I didn't really feel much of anything when I thought about what happened. I considered myself extremely lucky.
"Don't you agree Bella?" Mike said. He had effectively torn me out of my thoughts. Uh oh, what to say, what to say... If I say "yes" then that would mean that I would be agreeing with Mike. I'm pretty confident that I would probably never agree with this dude on anything great or small. But if I say "no" then he would make me explain and number one I don't feel like talking to him and number two I have no idea what it was that he asked. Compromise my character or look like an idiot and admit that I wasn't listening? Well I'm nothing if I don't uphold my honor.
"Sorry, I wasn't listening," Honesty is the best policy. "could you repeat that?"
He looked annoyed "I was saying that I liked the small town life style around here and wondered what you thought of it so far."
"I don't think I've been here long enough to make a judgment just yet." I was pretty sure I would be bored out of my mind by the end of the week.
"I think you'll really come to like it here," Not likely, cowboy.
We walked into the biology class and I handed my schedule to the teacher. He gave me the usual welcome and fortunately for me he skipped the class-wide introduction and told me to take a seat at one of the black-topped tables four rows back. Fine by me, it didn't look like I was going to have a table buddy since the bell was about to ring and no one was in the seat next to me.
I leaned back and watched as all the other students settled in, saw that most of them were sneaking glances my way. A few more students trickled into the classroom and at the last second one last guy made it in before the bell rang. I realized then that all the other seats were filled and that this guy would be sitting next to me. Let's just say I was definitely not disappointed with the turn of events. He was handsome to say the least, if his face had been even a little less masculine I would even have called him beautiful. He was tall and it seemed to me that he walked the way a big cat walks across the Savannah, all precariously contained power waiting for the slightest excuse to be let loose. Huh, he must play some kind of sport.
The teacher gave him a dirty look as he walked past. "Barely made it Edward, take a seat so I can start the lesson." Geez, I have a feeling I'm not going to like this teacher.
It looked like Edward was trying not to roll his eyes. He walked down the aisle and stopped abruptly, glaring at me. What the hell? Was I in his seat or something? I was told to sit here so I didn't think so, plus who gets that pissed off at someone they don't even know for such a minor thing? He was still just staring daggers at me, standing in the middle of the classroom, soon the other students would notice and then I expected that it would rapidly go downhill after that.
"That's called a new student Edward, she won't bite I promise. Now take a seat." What a condescending asshole. Even though this Edward guy was currently giving me the worst stink eye I'd ever experienced I couldn't help but be on his side by default.
Edward visibly gulped and walked over to the table his stride stiff and took a seat. He sat as far away from me as he could and sat at the very edge of his seet as if he was ready to bolt at any second. His whole posture was incredibly tense. What was wrong with him? Or me? Did someone write something offensive across my forehead when I wasn't paying attention? That seemed highly unlikely, none of the other students were reacting negatively towards me. Maybe I smelled bad? I leaned down and as discreetly as I could sniffed to see if I had somehow forgotten to put on deodorant. Nope, I smelled like 'spring rain'. I guess it wasn't me causing whatever problem this guy had.
As the class went on I became more and more uncomfortable sitting next to Edward. At times it seemed like he was about to pounce rather than bolt, as strange as that sounds. But as I realized the truth to that idea and disregarded it's absurdity the more on edge I became. Whenever I looked his was I saw that he was staring at me from the corners of his eyes. I was completely creeped out. My instincts told me that I was in some sort of danger, for a while it's all I could focused on, I completely forgot that I was in a room full of other people, it didn't matter, I knew beyond a doubt that the person sitting not four feet away from me was a threat. I thought of just getting up and leaving the room, not giving any explanation and just getting in my car and going home. 'No!' Barked a voice in my head 'do not give it a reason to start the hunt,' The hunt? I thought in a panic. Was I being stalked by a predator? 'Yes' said the voice. I recognized it as the creature that ruled the savage part of my brain. 'don't even think of flinching, in fact don't make any sudden movements, control your fear.' It's hard to control involuntary reactions, especially when you're told that you have to. It made me think of large predators, a wolf getting a thrill when it scents the deer's fear.
I took deep breaths, tried to think of anything but the fact that my life was in peril yet again. I didn't understand this, this situation was all wrong, it was the middle of the day there was no giant criminal trapping me only a teenage boy. I could deal with the obvious threats but this, this I just didn't understand. Maybe I was being completely ridiculous; it could be the stress of my first day that's making me delusional 'You know you're not having delusions," she said. Or did I say that? She was after all a part of me; my instincts seemed to have taken on a life of their own probably so that I couldn't ignore them. Or... I had gone absolutely batshit.
I peeked at Edward through my peripherals, he was glaring, his jaw clenched, nostrils flaring. I couldn't be scared, my fall back emotion became anger. I was pissed at this guy. Who the hell was he to make me fearful in broad daylight? In my silently enraged state I had turned my head completely to glare back at him and didn't realize that I was making a low hissing noise in the back of my throat like that of a cornered cat until I saw shock and confusion briefly cross his face before he whipped his head around to face forward. 'Yes' I heard. She laughed mirthlessly. 'Good going, he's confused as to what you are.' No kidding I surprised the hell out of myself with that move.
The bell rang bringing me back to earth with a crash. I didn't move except to glance at the now empty seat next to me. I relaxed inch by inch, I was so wound up I was about to snap. I needed to leave, I had to get away from all these people and be alone with my thoughts. I lingered in the class till the students for the next period started coming in. I figured that was enough time for Edward to be safely away in his next class, as far away from me as possible. I left the building walked straight across the courtyard and to the parking lot. I didn't drive home, I just drove. I left Forks and drove West, I didn't have anywhere particular in mind but at the speed I was going I was getting somewhere pretty quick.
I was sitting in a small cozy coffee shop drinking some kind of heavenly cinnamon flavored drink when Charlie called my cell phone. I looked at the clock on the phone, oh shit five o'clock. I answered reluctantly. "Hey Charlie, I -" It wasn't much of a surprise when he cut me off.
"Where the hell are you? I get home to you gone and a message from the school saying that you missed your last four classes!" I could hear him breathing heavily.
"Dad I'm sorry I just got really overwhelmed and I couldn't take it. I had to leave or I was going to cry or yell at some innocent by standard." I didn't tell him the exact reason for my fragile state of mind and I knew that he would assume that something had reminded me of the incident back in Arizona and put me in my current condition. I was not about to burst his bubble.
He sighed and seemed to be thinking over what I had said. "Ok, but you should have called me or something, I was worried. You need to come home now." That might be a problem, I was about three hours away, I had actually driven a lot farther almost to the Makah reservation I decided that was far enough and turned around but when I needed gas I just took the first exit I saw and decided that coffee sounded like a good idea.
"That might take just a little while, I'm not exactly in town..." I didn't say where I was because I wasn't exactly sure and telling him that would just alarm him.
"How far away are you?" Time I could do, I was super glad he didn't ask where I was. I cleared my throat "Like three hours, tops." I said dismissively trying to depreciate the amount of time with just the tone of my voice.
"Okay..." He was clearly trying to control whatever negative reaction he was having. "Get home as soon as you can. But!...Don't rush, plus it's five o'clock traffic right now, so watch out for all the maniacs." He was taking this surprisingly well, which concerned me for two reasons, either A: He was concerned for my fragile emotional state and thought I was on the verge of a meltdown or B: Didn't want me to be frazzled with stress on my way home and I was going to get it when I got home. I hoped for the first one, I could play up the emotional distress if I needed to.
I got into my car and started for home, the windows open letting in the cool crisp air the speed and the wind was exhilarating and put a smile on my face. As I got onto the winding two lane highway dusk settled in.
A/N so what did ya'll think? Review? Suggestions?