Deleted Scene 2

From Chapter 10 - Diamond in the Rough - (located just before 'The Present' section)

"I know this isn't the way this is supposed to happen and that, well, this isn't - that we aren't - that none of this is for keeps - but," Eric paused and swallowed audibly, "you deserve to have a proper engagement ring. Everyone else will have one and you've already done so much for me by saying you'll come but most of all - Nell, I want you to have it."

For a few heart beats all Nell could do was stare at the beautiful combination of white gold inlaid with alternating diamonds and sapphires and finished with a central princess cut diamond, set so the corners pointed like a compass north, south, east and west. It was all starting to make sense.

Everyone else would have an engagement ring. And now, so would she.

Neither of them spoke as Eric took her left hand in his, gently easing the ring past her knuckle to sit snugly at the hilt of her ring finger.

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. .:. .

.

It isn't till she gets home that she realizes she made no protest that the ring was too much, too expensive, too temporary. Not that it would have changed anything. She would still be wearing it; hyper aware of the subtle change to the weight of her hand, of the way it felt different when she gripped onto the steering wheel, the flash of blue catching her eye each time she moved it. It was blatantly expensive - the fit was too perfect to be anything but custom made and even the design is unique - princess cut (square) diamonds were generally only set on an angle if they were the only stone while hers was cushioned with smaller sapphires and diamonds. Though logically it would make more sense if the stones were synthetic rather than mined she knew they weren't. This was Eric and he didn't do things by halves. But it was more than that, he might say this 'wasn't for keeps' but the chance of her being able to give it back when the case was tied up? 0.0 to the millionth decimal place - and even then it would only be because the computer couldn't show any more zeroes.

Whether it was deemed a thank-you gift or something else entirely, now it was hers. And she can't describe, even to herself, just how incredible that felt.

She wasn't exactly sure how she'd made it home. Everything after saying goodnight and getting into her car was a bit of a blur, instinct and habit rather than concentration had guided her unerringly back to her apartment. But now, as she sat languidly on her couch she had to acknowledge all hopes of finding peace and serenity tonight were gone. She tried to think if there was anyone she could call and had to laugh - how did you explain the strangeness of her situation without mentioning anything classified? That left only Nate and Kensi because clearly she couldn't talk to Eric about it. Even if she'd wanted to speak to Nate she had no way of contacting him with so little time and it didn't seem fair to Eric to drag Kensi into it. Yes, she and Kensi talked about life, the universe and everything and managed to keep it to themselves but knowing Eric, it had been a pretty big step to not just have had the ring made but to put himself on the line and give it to her - it felt like a betrayal somehow to contemplate dissecting it with one of the team.

Nell wished almost desperately that there was someone she could ask the impossible questions which had become tangled up in her throat. She wanted to know what it felt like when someone proposed? What it felt like to suddenly have this symbol of someone's love and commitment on show for the rest of the world to see? She wanted something to compares the rush of feelings she got every time the ring caught her eye to. She wanted to know how long it took before it stopped catching your eye every time you moved your hand?

It might not be a real engagement, but some of those feelings? Some of those feelings were every bit as real and honest as the feelings she had for her family. And maybe she wasn't ready to figure out exactly what all of those feelings were yet but she trusted Eric more than anyone else outside her family. Trusted they'd make it though everything this undercover operation had in store for them, that they'd pull together not apart when the chips were down. Trusted he'd allow her space, that he'd find a way to make sure she didn't get smothered by the expectations this new life, this living breathing lie, would place on them. That somehow, they'd be ok.

An engagement ring usually represented a promise, and while this wasn't quite a promise of marriage it was, in many ways, still a commitment. A promise to stand by her side through the one of the hardest things she'd ever attempted, to protect her, to care –

The last thought she had before falling into a restless sleep was that it was an honor to wear his ring.

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. .:. .

.

Nell was glad that Kensi and Deeks were already in Bakersfield by the time she arrived at the Mission the next morning with the small number of things she'd been allowed to bring from home. All her clothes had been chosen and packed for her which left only a few 'essentials' like underwear, toiletries and night things which she had slung over her shoulder in an overnight bag and and a small box of books from her childhood which she'd packed in a hurry this morning when she'd realized that although they'd chosen clothes and toys for Bethany on their shopping trip they'd somehow overlooked her favorite childhood ritual - bedtime stories.

Nell kept her left hand under the box, an awkward position to carry such a heavy box but hoping the box's shadow it would be enough to deaden the gleam of the highly polished diamond. She was early and she planned on slipping quietly upstairs to Ops without running into any of the team but she only got as far as the foot of the stairs before she was stopped by a familiar voice behind her.

"Graduated from identity fraud to grand larceny all in one day? 'Cos something tells me those rocks aren't covered by Hetty's expense sheet."

Callen noticed it as soon as she'd walked into the bullpen. She'd thought she might just be early enough to sneak upstairs to ops without anyone stopping her but she'd forgotten Callen's protectiveness.

Nell could feel the blush rising as she turned to face Callen, acknowledging belatedly that almost nothing evaded Callen's notice and silently cursing his protectiveness. Despite having a large, incredibly close knit family, Nell wasn't used to having a big brother looking out for her. Affecting nonchalance was out of the question so Nell ran with the only other answer she had. "More like a lease, it'll go back where it came from when the game's up."

"Tell yourself that if it helps but don't believe it. Not everyone's playing games Nell and getting too close to that fire won't just burn you."

Where there'd been a certain playfulness to his first comment there was now a steeliness which cut to the bone. Eric might sometimes not feel like he was part of Callen's team but that didn't mean Callen wouldn't go out to bat for him if he needed protection and he wasn't above offering advice to the youngest member of his team either - it was a warning for both of them. Only difference was, Nell knew exactly how this worked and she'd flight tooth and nail to preserve the closest friendship she'd had since leaving college - maybe even closest in her whole life.

"I hope G's complimenting you on the ice you've got weighing down your hand."

Sam's glib comment broke the tension that sparked like live wires between them but Callen had made his position clear. They could go back to joking around but neither of them would forget.