Lucy was used to her own kinds of research now, even as she sat at the desk, she didn't mind the boys sitting opposite as she tapped away at the live lacrima flip top, scanning her eyes away at archives and databases.

But she'd side tracked herself, the soft warmth of the room distracting as she ended up reading another article about Mirajane in the south from the beginning of the year. She was beginning to know the articles line for line. It was good that they'd found Erza and Gray, but there were still so many of guild misplaced along Magnolia.

How long she had spent, trying to pin them all down one by one?

And now there were five of them in the same building, when this time last year, they'd just all left her alone.

She slammed the lacrima shut with a shrug as her eyes dragged to the other side of the table; Happy lying on his tummy in the middle and Natsu with his head tucked away into the crook of his inner elbow.

This was Natsu, it was a well known fact that this boy could sleep anywhere, she was glad that not a lot about him had changed. He was still the same hyper active dragon slayer, beckoning to fight with anything that moved accompanied with his cheeky smile..

Or at least she hoped as she sat there in silence; watching him.

Even as he lay with his head rested on his arms, he looked relaxed as he moved slightly up and down with the rhythm of his breathing, a gradual snore as he took up his corner of the table.

But there was something she could not take her eyes from; and it was something she had been curious about ever since the pink dragon slayer's well waited return…the bandage wrapped all too tightly around his right arm.

Lucy couldn't shake off the feeling that he was hiding something. After all, Natsu liked to avoid worrying someone, it wasn't of his character to just come out and tell her something that had to do with himself. Naturally, she was worried.

She leaned forward at a moderate pace, dragging her elbows across the wood, she had to be quiet if she didn't want to wake him, his senses were near perfect as she knew all too well.

Though when he slept, it was possible to distract him.

The blonde titled her head, watching him curiously as she held back the urge to move aside a pink lock of hair that settled across the bridge of his nose.

With a shake of the head, she brought her focus back to the bandage, which she was glad to see was the arm he rested on top. It would have been harder if she had to pull his head up some how.

She was even nervous as she hovered her fingers over the tightly woven bandage. It was now or never, she was close enough to just rip it off and risk waking him up. It wasn't like he could hide anything after she saw whatever was underneath. But she didn;t have the heart to wake him. Especially when he looked so peaceful, so all she did was slowly tug at the material in the softest manner she could possibly achieve.

Surprisingly enough, she managed to pull the first strip back, her eyes widening as at first she could no realise what it was, forcing her own breath to keep in pace with Natsu's snore.

For what she saw, she honestly did not expect. At first, she couldn't tell, maybe it could have been the flick of the light. But then she realised there was no way it could be anything else and something inside her began to ache.

Her gut?

Her heart?

Her un-nessacary guilt?

There across the tip of his wrist were scars. Only thin lines, as if done with a very sharp knife of some kind, the silvery lines fading under the bandage, perhaps to reveal more.

She did tug further at the bandage and sure enough they fled horizontally down his wrist. Just small lines, slashes perhaps. Some messy, some looking accidental. There were at least eight that she found so far until she froze up.
Because she suddenly realised the snoozing had frozen and now she was just sitting in silence with her hands glued anxiously halfway down his bandage.

Lucy didn't need to check, she knew that she had woken the dragon slayer. But she had been so shocked… and not only did sorrow fill her heart, but so did anger just a little bit.

Anger than Natsu was hiding scars on his wrists and with that she pulled back. Hurt and furious that he did not trust her with such a thing. Right now she would need to demand the truth and he would need to give it her otherwise he would be sleeping out on the streets.

Though it was his voice that broke her thoughts, his words a whisper as he still sounded to be half asleep.

"Why did you do that?" Was all he asked, his head still resting in his arms, his question muffled.

"Why did I do that?!" She replied, her tone shaky yet offended too. "What is that?! Why are you hiding it?! Did you do that- to- to yourself?" She'd shuffled closed to him, but she forced herself to keep distance, waiting for him to lift his head.

Just as planned, he did, his expression unreadable as his tired eyes were a soft grey.

Though he pressed his lips together, looking to be contemplating his answer. Before he finally settled on an answer that crushed her a little bit.

"Yes."

She watched him, nervous.

Natsu was sincere, he wore no smile, no soft eyes, his hair the only thing looking calm. But it seemed as though he had been waiting for this conversation to pop up, it was obvious by the way he watched her back.
Though he finally dropped his glance and pulled the bandage back down to his wrist, as if there were reason to cover it again.

"I thought they'd go." He replied, sitting up properly in the seat, his cold expression concerning. "I guess I'm stuck with scars."

"Why did you cut yourself?" She whispered, trembling.

Why didn't he look sad, guilty, heartbroken?

Like she did?

Did he really no longer care for his wellbeing?

What did he go through in that year?! She had no idea! He was hiding things right under her nose, what else wasn't he telling her?!

She clamped her eyes shut, not wanting to look at his face any more, only listening to the hum of his voice as he answered again.

"I was beginning to grow tired."

"What do you mean…?"

"I was losing track of all the people I was letting down. Trying to protect everyone. But sometimes, people got hurt…"

"What do you mean?"

"…So I made a note, so I would remember how many people I didn't protect. How many people got hurt… It's not a big deal, Luce."

"Y-you cut yourself every time you realised someone got hurt?"

"I left to get stronger, Lucy. I want to protect you all."

"Natsu…"

"This was like a reminder, for me to be more careful. Keep an eye on everyone. They're old." Though she raised a brow, suspicious as he continued. "I got better, barely anyone was getting hurt as I got stronger."

He smiled slightly, and she realised she had opened her eyes once more.

"Every time someone got hurt… you hurt yourself?"

"…"

Her eyes welled up with years, that gut wrenching sadness hurting like a heavy bruise.

She had hoped there had been something less under that bandage, but it seemed to carry it's own burden and that made her yank the boy into a hug as they sat in silence.

"Natsu… You idiot…"